f13.net

Only seen Timothy Olyphant in the lamentable Dreamcatcher and can't even remember which one he was but here is with shaved heid and barcode tat in his role as Agent 47 over at Aint-It-Cool (http://www.aintitcool.com/node/32720).  Not sure the second picture gives the right impression of a hard as nails hitman.

Also news that Lionsgate have optioned a movie based on the as yet unreleased Kane & Lynch.

Oh God, why ??!

Hitman was shot here a couple of months ago. Which means it will be EXTRA crappy. Only very heavily underbudgeted movies are shot here ^^

I think he looked better in Deadwood.  Some people shouldn't shave their head. 

After the runaway box office successes that were Silent Hill, Doom, Bloodrayne and Alone in the Dark, I'm surprised you're surprised!

People with shaved heads look better when they let their head get some sun, and not look so pasty cancer- patient like.

Silent Hill did pretty good actually. Not amazing zomg blockbuster but it made back its production costs at least which is not that bad for a horror movie that ISN'T based off a video game.

Agent 47 shoulda been Vin Diesel.

Silent Hill made money. And was awesome.

Even I liked Silent Hill.  That says something.

(Probably that I like Laurie Holden in a tight-fitting leather cop uniform, but something.)

I didn't find any of those women overly attractive, but the movie itself was beautiful.

You want bad? Here (http://tinyurl.com/2lua2y) is bad. Talk about spitting on a series...

Uh....Smallville + Terminator?

My bad.  To be honest, I did pluck the name out of the air and can't even claim to have seen it (although it is on the list).  Am I allowed to use Resident Evil 2 instead?  Or even Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. 


Not sure.  I think he'd have been good but I prefer the idea of someone a less physiscally big.  Jason Statham (http://erichasslen.googlepages.com/statham_hitman.jpg) perhaps (as long as he kept is gob shut) but why not just keep David Bateson (http://www.imdb.com/rg/name-headshot/top_center/gallery/hh/0061055/HH/0061055/iid_1000827.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Bateson,%20David) as the man?

Another  :thumbs_up: for Silent Hill (movie).  There were a few "er, wha?" moments that soured the movie, but overall a good flick.  Haven't seen the rest of the movies Draconian mentioned, but the trailers for them haven't interested me in the least either.

The second resident evil made ~50 Million. The first made 39 Million. I'm 99% sure they both made money.

None of the names in either cost the studio any money. Yea, they're bad, but at least their fun.

Hmmm.  Noob note to self #1 - pay attention to detail on every little word I say here.  :-)  I probably have rephrased the, erm, phrase "box office successes" as "big steaming piles of excrement" that were the aforementioned films.  And I'd like to retract my original inclusion of Silent Hill and submit Resident Evil 2 and Mortal Kombat 2 in it's place.  I'll confess to enjoying the first Resident Evil but the second was 48 shades of dire.  And yes, they both made enough money to warrant a third sequel. 


I watched Alone in the Dark while very, very drunk.  No amount of alcohol could make it a good film.  I only watched 10 minutes of Bloodrayne and had to be physically restrained from trying to gouge out my own eyeballs.  Doom was just crap but the FPS sequence was highly amusing.  The ending more than anything was a huge let down.

I don't mind the concept, but how come River has to go from talking like a normal teenager to the stilted dialect?  Is it really necessary?  Are we going to forget what character she is playing if she talks like a person?

You can never watch yourself enough.  We'll latch on to anything and twist it to our whims.  Instead, take their words and have fun! :-D

(http://www.geekroar.com/film/archives/transporter.thegirl.jpg)

much better imo. Transporter fella with the right outfit too. Just shave his head and we're done.

Well, fucking hell. I like the kid playing John Conner, I like the guy playing the Terminator (was one of the robbers in The Nine) and I like Summer Glau. I do not like the woman playing Sarah Conner, and I hate the idea of this taking place between T2 and that awful Terminator 3 movie. Break some new fucking ground, follow John Conner IN THE FUTURE, Y0.

Fuckheads.

I'm sure they will retcon T3 as not happening. I mean this really can't be worse. I hope the Governator makes a cameo as president.

Shit. Didn't mean to modify. Meant to quote you Furiously. Apologies. Still, I suppose I fixed it for you... just not the way I intended.

Am I the only gamer who thought Silent Hill was laughably bad?   I don't see a lot of films each year, but it was easily the worst thing I paid money to see in theaters.

Rotton tomatoes didn't think much of it either. (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/silent_hill/about.php#consensus)

Silent Hill was painfully bad. Terminator 3 was surprisingly decent.

End of Line.

Sweet. Up is down. Black is white. This is always fun.

It was a gorgeously shot movie, but the story sucked balls. It built up some creepy moments before going off the page in the third act. The ending was shit.

I'm gonna trust Schild on this.  Cause his views on films are never whack.

There - added to my netflix que. I'll report back in a week or two.

I agree. Never whack. I raise the bar for "correct."

(to be fair, i really liked the story and the ACTUAL ending. Now, if I could take one scene out of the movie, would have increased the quality of the flick 10-fold, instant classic, best since The Wizard, etc etc. Even though it is the best VG movie next to the wizard since the benchmark is in the gutter)

Which scene is that, if you can hint without making it a spoiler?

How about the "Thriller" nurses?  :roll:

Did my homework, watched the film.  I'm with Haemish on this:


Not terrible - not even offensively bad - but not that good either.  Production design was best thing about it - direction was patchy and photography was good but not singularly failed to provoke dread, horror or even low level creepiness.  Sean Bean's american accent, on the other hand, was terrifying.  

Over the years I have come to the realization that almost every time an idea works in one medium, it will invariably not work as well when it moves to another medium. The only exceptions I ever see are ones where it was poorly done in one, and they ended up doing it better in it's second medium.

I always use Total Recall as an example of the second medium being better than the first. The Piers Anthony book was written based on the screenplay for the movie, and it was about 20x better than the campy movie that it spawned from.

Nurses didn't bother me.

Which was of course from the short story We Can Remember It For You Wholesale (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_Can_Remember_It_for_You_Wholesale) which was even better than the piers anthony book.

Maybe you'll like the low-budget sequel that Uwe Boll announced a couple days ago better.

Terminator 3 was good ?  Was there a US only release version or something ??

 :|

While it was by no means high art, it was not nearly as bad as I expected and I came out of it entertained.

I think it really comes down to expectations, I went in with such low expectations that anything short of a Matrix sequel or Spaced Invaders would have entertained me. Hot-german-chick-in-leather terminator didn't hurt either.

T3 was utter shit splattered on the screen. Not even the truck chase scene could save it, mainly because that scene sucked.

T3 was bad.  Or at the very best, not good.  It was fine enough to watch as long as you don't expect anything at all from it, but because T2 was such an awesome movie, it's hard to do that.  IMO, it was a far worse letdown for the series than the Matrix sequals (which I liked somewhat) were for the original. 

The thing about the Matrix sequels (at least the first one) was the fact that it was hyped as this amazing piece of sci-fi/action art. Even the usually non-action fan critics gave it decent reviews. I went into that movie with decently high expectations and walked out wanting to be reimbursed for my time wasted. I was snookered into expecting a good movie, and got the worst piece of trash I had ever paid to see. T3 was not hyped or given that good of reviews so I knew what to expect.

I kind of equate T3 to the second Highlander movie. You know the story has to be totally fucked with to make even a remotely plausible story line, and there is no possible way it can be nearly as good as the original, so you go in and say "let's see if we can even be entertained with it." I enjoyed both movies for what they were, but you can't tell me that the storyline changes in T3 were less plausible than the story of Highlander II.

T3's suck was not about plausibility, but stupidity. It was just a braindead movie.

What he said.

T1 deserves to be on the shelf with the other 'Quality High Camp'; next to Big Trouble in Little China, Buckaroo Banzai, Mad Max, et al. A fun, popcorny diversion that exemplifies the absurdities of the '80's. T2 was quality. T3 was fucking Batman and Robin, nipples included.

I liked Spaced Invaders :(

Also, Daeven just called all of my most favorite movies absurd.  :cry:

edit: Now that I've thought about it, that's why I like those movies.  Exactly because they are absurd.  :lol:

My question is what happened to Kristanna Loken? She have some bad plastic surgery?

What happened to her as in where is she now?  or as in "dude she used to look like Farrah Fawcett now she looks like Latoya Jackson"?

I think she has a rather "meh" program on SciFi called Painkiller Jane.

Meh doesn't begin to describe Painkiller Jane. How about - worst thing ever.

I haven't seen it, just the promo ads....which was enough.

Kristanna Loken was Rayne in Bloodrayne.  Still not a good reason to watch it.

I'm not entirely sure how you can equate T3 with Highlander 2.  At least in T3 there was no "Hey, let's bring Sean Connery back from the dead!"  Or "Actually, Terminators are actually aliens from the planet Zeitgeist".  Or "Incidentally, I happen to be able to fly!" (from Highlander 2 'alternate', omgwtf? version).

T3 was shit but watchable.  The same can't be said for the Matrix sequels which were shit, boring, pretentious, shit and shit.  They were also shit.

Back on topic: 20th Century Fox, not content with running the X-Men franchise into the ground, have bought movie rights to The Sims. (http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117965812.html?categoryid=13&cs=1&nid=2562)  Come back Uwe Boll, all is forgiven!

Oh man was T3 better than Highlander. And if it weren't for Highlander dorks being some of the most repulsive otaku/maniac types on the planet, I'd probably be one. ~~~~those fuckers send shivers down my spine.

-


The Sims will only be funny if it's done in the native dialect. On that note, The State beat Fox to the punch. And, damnit, I can't find that fucking video. It's the one where a mom, her kid and the mailman are all going "duh duh duh" at breakfast.

The Sims?  How can that possibly be turned into entertainment?

My point was that both movies took a story that had fully been tied up, and came up with a reason why there could be a continuation of a story missing an opening for a sequel.

August 29th 1997 was long past, thus Judgment Day came and went, thus why they had to come up with some story that was even remotely plausible. The could have gone off the deep end and done a Highlander 2 (which I was partially expecting) but they didn't. I think that is why I am not as critical of it as others are. The storyline was nearly as plausible as the whole "reverse engineering from a hand" thing that T2 had.

I've been wondering that about the game for years now.

 :rimshot:

Watched it this weekend. As someone who has never played the games, I was left at the last scene with a few questions.

*spoilers* maybe...
1. Ok - I'm guessing here, the three timelines/realities - There's reality which dad is in. There's the silent hill that is all ashy horrid and there's silent hill that is burning evilness. So - what's the trick for crossing from reality to ashy? And why did they not cross back? I took it that she was dead the whole time.

2. I'm no math major, but the kid looked about 10 at most. And the fire was 35 years ago, and how in the heck is she the burned girl's daughter and still 10? This doesn't make sense for the reality timeline AT ALL!

They sort of deviated from the SH canon. There are reasons, based on the story and how it works, but unfortunately the movie changed a lot of it. The basic premise is this: Certain people (avoiding spoilers here) have the ability to create their own reality around them (Otherworld) and draw people into it. Otherworld is the rusty bloody OMFG MONSTERS place. At the 'edge', Where their reality and the "real" world meets and merges, that's the foggy half-there dilapidated world. They have some influence in this halfway place, but not like they do in the "Otherworld" of their own creation where their thought is actually manifest.

There isn't really a trick for crossing, you are pretty much at the whim of the creator. They do have to drag you into the halfway world before they can draw you into theirs, though. In the movie, they changed fog to ash which I thought was a nice touch and was different from the game.

Silent Hill was fine.  It wasn't amazing, but fine.  Most of the dialogue wasn't bad, it was a visually impressive film, and the plot was decent enough to keep me engaged.  The only problem was the very last scene.

Terminator 3 sucked and if you can really say "it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be", I can't imagine why you'd set the bar for a movie that low and still see it.

Masochism?

And maybe you set the bar too high?


In my case it was merely a case of deciding I wanted to see the trainwreck unfold and judge for myself. Plus, I was bored and it was a cheap matinee.

I set the bar really low for it and wasn't going to bother seeing it.  A cousin of mine wanted to watch it, though, so we did.  It pretty much met my expectations.

I didn't mind T3, but maybe it's because I went into it with no expectations.

So how was the kid 10? If the fire was 35 years ago?

The same way Forrest Gump lost the studio money?

Time has little meaning in Silent Hill.  It put her out there when the time was right, it was able, she was angry enough, or whatever.

Or the film just made no real good goddamn sense, and sucked monkey nuts because of it.

I just watched Bloodrayne, out of morbid curiosity.

I now have to check out all of Bolls movies.

I seldom laughed so hard about a movie this bad.

I agree with both of you.

More fucked up films!

I just noticed an article on AICN (http://www.aintitcool.com/node/32819) about the "film of the game" DOA:Dead or Alive.  It's being released in the US in a couple of weeks.

Surprised me because I noticed this on DVD in our local shop the other day.  Seems we got it here back in September.  What luck!

A friend linked me this on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCN5TChO8s4

And just from that one scene, it is currently the movie I have laughed the most at for being so bad.

The best of his movies is Alone in the Dark (well the first half). It's almost bearable. The second half turns into Scooby Doo moments surrounded by insanely stupid chunks of retard phlegm. House of the Dead is his best worst movie ever, though Bloodrayne certainly tried hard to top it.

Whatever happened to Dungeon Siege anyway? He was making it, there was a trailer released that looked hysterically bad and then I never heard any more about it.

I think I saw it somewhere as planned for 2007, Rottentomatoes maybe ?

Here's a video game movie that might not be a disaster:

Woo logs on to "Ninja Gold" movie, video game (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070528/film_nm/woo_dc)

Watched Silent Hill for the first time last night.  Enjoyed it.

You tell me thats from a movie that takes itself serious? An actual movie? No spoof or parody?

Fucking liar!

I think it is, but I forgot the title. Maybethe name is hidden in some of he comments.

edit: Found it (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Undefeatable)

Yeah, it really was serious.  Which actually makes it even more hilarious than if it had just been a plain old spoof or something.

According to the link thats not any fighting scene, thats the fighting scene from the climax of the movie. Priceless!  :-D

Christophe Gans to direct an adaptation of Onimusha. (http://www.aintitcool.com/node/32861)

Don't know the game so can't comment.

Hitman trailer. (http://media.movies.ign.com/media/499/499143/vids_1.html)  Found it less than encouraging...

Saw on CNBC the other day that THQ is starting their own movie studio so they can have creative control and monetary control of all aspects of projects.

I forsee lots o' flop movies in their future.

It'll be fine. It'll look as gorgeous as Brotherhood of the Wolf. And really, of all the candidates out there to do video game adaptations, considering Silent Hill, Gans is at the top of my list.

Onimusha always looked pretty cool.  There weren't any copies of it or it's sequels around when I bought the ps2, though, and I'd forgotten about it until I saw the name again.  Hrm.. hit up amazon, or finish ff12.

I had no idea they made a movie based on Silent Hill.  Was it a direct to video thing like Bloodrayne?  Or a one weekend showing only like Weekend at Bernies 2?  Makes me wonder though why they keep trying these videogame movies.  I know Hollywood creams their panties over the 18-30 year-old penis demographic, but it just never seems to pan out with videogame movies.  Perhaps if they got Frank Miller instead of Uwe Boll to direct, since 300 practically was a videogame.

Uh. No. The Silent Hill movie made a good deal of money and spent a good time in theaters.

It didn't suck and it had Boromir in it.

Frank Miller didn't direct 300, Zack Synder of Day of the Dead remake fame did.

NECRO!

Wired piss off Uwe Boll (http://blog.wired.com/games/2007/08/you-dumb-fck-uw.html) by asserting that his adapation of the game "Postal" was not that good.

William Wanstrom: "This is a trap"!

Anyway, this read is pretty hilarious. It is more toward Serious Business than General Discussion though :)

Perhaps, but it doesn't deviate from the subject of this thread! :)

I really wish Boll had picked me to get my ass beat in his movie, if only for the chance to sucker punch him one time before getting the ever-living shit kicked out of me by Goebbels' retarded step-grandchild.

Ok, having watched the Hitman trailer there, two points :

1 - They did this already.  It's called any of the 3 games. 

2 - They'll never make MY movie of Hitman.  Because any time I played the game, the first thing I did was find the nearest scantily clad prostitute and fiber wired her.  Then I shot her.  Then I dragged her around a bit and then shot her in the privates until the real time physics made her leapfrog onto her front.   Then I shot her in the ass.  Indeed, the level in the first Hitman where you had to go to the Titty bar on the docks to get information, lurring the dancer out into the alley.  That was my favourite.  I lost track of how many times I killed that bitch.

I forget my point.

Hitman 1 was just "Hotel Serial Killer Simulator" for me.  I'd get to the hotel mission, the one where you can only bring in fiber wire because there's a metal detector at the front door.  Only I wouldn't even bring in fiber wire.  I'd come in with nothing, steal a knife from the kitchen, and then see how many random throats I could cut before anyone noticed anything was wrong.

I'd kill the chef and stuff him in the freezer, then just run around the hotel sneaking up behind people, slicing their necks, and shoving them in broom closets.  I'd go into people's rooms and kill them, then drag their bodies into the bathroom since the wandering hotel employees never went in there.  Sometimes I'd put on their clothes for no good reason.

Didn't alarmed civilians have to find a security guard to squeal to before the alert could be sent out?  I remember some woman in a fancy dress coming around a corner just as I was dragging a dead guy into one of the rooms.  I ran up behind her as she fled and cut her throat too, then I had to hurry up and drag both bodies inside the room before anyone else came along.

I think I killed like two or three dozen people one time before anyone found me out.  That game was fun.

Yup.  Some of the Many reasons I loved the Hitman Series.

Strangely, I still find the first one the 'better' game.  I think because you couldn't just go Nanners and kill everyone to accomplish the mission.

Well, except the Keyser Soze boat mission.

I never got past the mission early on in the first hitman game where you had to sneak in the back of this little coffee shop and kill some guy talking with someone at a table. It was too cool to just walk in the front door or come in the rear guns blazing and tear the room up.

People like realtime-physics killing. I know I do. Even back when I was really young I would have fun shooting Russians in the ass and the nutsack in Goldeneye.