"Put a leash on your husband"

[bhodi]

[Merusk]

This is just someone cleverly taking the list of "funny things to do in Wal*Mart" e-mail and putting it on an 'official' letterhead.

The dead giveaway is Dec 18th, because they forgot to alter the grammar of the sentence.

[bhodi]

I was 100% sure it wasn't real, but it's still kind of funny. I know people, grown, married people, who would do this kind of thing. It is indeed serious business.

[Signe]

I used to play with alarm clocks in stores and make funny faces in security cameras but I haven't in ages.  Well, I don't go out much anymore and I hate to shop so there's no real opportunity.  Anyway, although I don't think I embarass Righ, sometimes I get the feeling he's just being tolerant of his nut job wife.  I used to try and convince him that we should dress up like hunchbacks or crusty old hippies  and try to test drive really expensive sports cars but I couldn't get him to do it.  I'm likely to be too lazy to go to all that trouble, anyway.  I think I just enjoy hearing him say "okay" to me.   

[Damn Dirty Ape]

What the hell is a "lay-buy"?  Is this an attempt to come up with a new term for "lay-away" because that has the connotation of being a poor person or something?

[Sky]

My mission when I worked at walmart was to do shit like that. We used to sit around coming up with new ideas. The mission impossible theme thing reminds me of hunting birds in the store. Imagine shopping at 3am and seeing a long haired guy humming that theme running through the store with a rifle. Or playing baseball in the store. Or having bike races (it was a supercenter, nice big racetrack). Or diving from the ceiling into a pile of beanbag chairs in front of drunken customers (real interesting clientelle at 3am in a walmart). Speaking of customers under the influence, we used to pretend to be undercover cops using our walkies when obvious drug users were in the store, freak them out and they'd leave. Or hiding in the dairy cooler and speaking in an evil tone to shoppers "Don't buy the milk" (while doing nitrous, of course). Or making PA pages while at the balloon counter inhaling helium.

After I left, loss prevention put real cameras in all the dummy camera domes. But the stuff they caught while I was there...priceless. I remember getting dressed in a bra and panties that fell out of a box while I was in the truck (I used to shoot stuff down the rollers as an unloader, so I spent lots of time in a darkened truck), and parading around. When confronted by the store manager, I asked for a copy of the tape.

That job was so much fun because nobody gave a shit about anything but having fun and getting the trucks unloaded. Of course, being the manager, those were my rules! Good times.

[WayAbvPar]

Did you see this woman there?

[Strazos]

Those are some strong eyebrows.

[WayAbvPar]

She has a face?

[Ironwood]

She's had one since the reduction.

[Sky]

No idea who that is, reference zoomed over my head 

[Trippy]

No idea who that is, reference zoomed over my head 

Jennifer Connelly in Career Opportunities.

[Signe]

I saw her in a film recently and she didn't look a bit like that.  I think she must have been 12 when that photo was taken or something.  She just looks like a little kid there.  She looks better older. 

[Strazos]

She had too much baby fat on the face...better in that pic now.

[voodoolily]

She's like 40 now, so I guess she's just a late bloomer? I look better 30 than I did at 18.

[Righ]

She was 20 in that movie apparently.

[Furiously]

I'd sure like to do a Magic Dance with her.

[WayAbvPar]

She had too much baby fat on the face...better in that pic now.

Unfortunately she had other fat removed from her prime assets, which I will never forgive. I feel almost as strongly about breast reduction surgery as the fundies do about abortion  :-D

[Sky]

Walk around with a couple 20 pound weights slung onto your chest for a while. I had an ex that really needed reduction and wouldn't because she was worried about cosmetics. I loved 'em, but kept trying to talk her into getting them reduced  because she'll be screwed..oh, right about now, I imagine.

[Furiously]

did I mention Magic dance

[Ironwood]

I have little sympathy, Sky.  She had a reduction due to the earlier enlargement she had.

Tough titty.

[Sky]

Tough titty.

Indeed. The only time a fake breast is a good idea is after a mastectomy imo.