Festivus '06 Airing of Grievances

[Velorath]

My new grievance is people who have the balls to try to derail a Festivus thread with mindless yammering about some broken PC game from years back.

[Fabricated]

A hearty Christmas "Fuck You" to the following:

-Seinfeld. Thanks for using some sort of demon magic to make a fucking unfunny train wreck of a show that other people find funny for some reason.

-Fox News. Thanks for reinforcing the mindset of the midwestern retard and generally being an example of bad and unethical journalism. If there is one, you all have a special place in hell for helping to make America more ignorant, racist, and fascist than before.

-Midwestern retards. Why do you ruin this area of the country I inhabit? Why do you ACTUALLY TRY TO STAY UNINFORMED? Why can't you understand basic logic? Why do you let your flipperbaby kids ruin our image academically to the rest of the world?

-The current administration. You have done more to ruin the image and safety of this country in 6 years than any administration before you. I don't know if our country will EVER recover from your racist, fascist, freedom-hating, war-loving, industry-cocksucking policies. If this country is to eventually be replaced by another as history dictates it must, it started with YOU. My only consolation is that Bush will go down in history as a failure and possibly as one of our worst presidents ever.

-Nintendo, for making an underpowered gimmick of a machine and attempting to prop it up with a Gamecube title. If Smash Brothers wasn't coming out for it, I would state right now that I would never own a Wii. May this be your last console, you fucking hacks.

-Sony, for not understanding very elementary supply/demand or production procedures. Didn't you guys have a reputation for putting out quality merchandise in lots of numbers a long time ago? Is there anything you just don't completely fail at anymore? You're lucky every 4th person on earth owns a PS2 or you would have already lost this generation.

-Microsoft, for attempting to buy into and subsequentially ruin a whole industry. I don't know what you plan on doing, but I can bet money it won't be good for gamers should you claim the top spot in the industry. I imagine we'll all have to pay you hourly rates for the privilege of playing games we STILL buy in physical form for $80 when the next Box thing rolls around if you win this time.

-Myspace, Xanga, LiveJournal, Blogger, etc. Thanks for clogging the internet with more self-important horseshit from people who should die in obscurity.

-Anyone who talks about "interactive worlds" and similar horseshit.  Just shut up. Second Life is an anomaly and still proves Sturgeons Theory that 99% of everything is crap. They created a brand new world of opportunities for furries to have virtual sex, and for companies to have "hip" online advertisement. You are never going to get the general public to give a shit about being able to craft 5000 varieties of table-legs or make online waffles just they way they like them without having to fight monsters, or have elaborate online politics in a world that isn't "just a game". People just want to play a goddamn videogame online with the novelty of there being thousands of other people around them to interact/argue with or angrily spurn.

.hack is never happening in real life. Never. Not in a million fucking years. Not ever.

[stray]

- Anyone who necessarily thinks virtuals worlds entails Second Life.

A good virtual world is a space/container with many games (as opposed to the typical approach of one overarching game formula). A virtual world is not a bunch of random perverted activities. Or at least, it doesn't have to be.

- People who've provoked me enough to derail this wonderful grievance thread. 

[WindupAtheist]

My new grievance is people who think a grievance thread can really be derailed.

[Yoru]

SP was a lot deeper and more ambitious than Defcon, but at least Defcon worked.

Yeah, I'm aware. I was referring to the nuke-the-world game I made out of it, not the "real game".

My new grievance is people who have the balls to try to derail a Festivus thread with mindless yammering about some broken PC game from years back.

We're bitching about a game. It's valid. :)


Kind of.

[Rasix]

I still hold a grievance against you for punching me in the neck.

[stray]

My new grievance is people who think a grievance thread can really be derailed.

And yet, Superpower is still being talked about.

[Trippy]

-Seinfeld. Thanks for using some sort of demon magic to make a fucking unfunny train wreck of a show that other people find funny for some reason.

Oh the irony.

[WindupAtheist]

All I'll say is that SP is a tragedy of brilliant concept married to amateur execution.  Forget endless WW2 rehashes, guys with swords, and "Julius Caesar has nukes!" Civ-style nonsense.  A deep and properly executed modern-era TBS that did everything from let you decide whether the US should invade Iraq, to just play around trying to clean up Sudan, or anything in between would be sheerest motherfucking win.

There, I'm done now.

EDIT:  Also I hate teh president becuase he's a nutsack!!1!

Better?

[stray]

Oh the irony.

Heh.

I don't mind/care about Fabricated's opinion, but I'd like to know what he would consider a good sitcom. In every one of the dozen times he's bitched about Seinfeld, he has never mentioned that.


Superpower was a budget strategy title for the Deer Hunter crowd. Mentioning it is almost as funny as that Gremlins 2 review you made awhile back.

[Fabricated]

Oh the irony.

Heh.

I don't mind/care about Fabricated's opinion, but I'd like to know what he would consider a good sitcom. In every one of the dozen times he's bitched about Seinfeld, he has never mentioned that.

I tend to not like sitcoms in general. I can't really think of the last one I liked to be honest. I never regularly watch any sitcom. The only show I tend to remind myself to watch is House M.D., which to be honest does the same stuff nearly every other hour-long drama does (what with the 48th minute reveal, and how House always ends up having to make a binary decision regarding treatment which either results in a cure or death).

I just dislike Seinfeld intensely since it has never made me laugh. Not once. I've tried and tried to like the show after having people online and offline treat me like I'm out of my mind for not finding it funny. I've made myself sit through at least 20 episodes of the thing, and it was so awful I can't remember the general plot of a single one. I actually watched the last episode when it aired and the one event I remember is all of them ending up in jail at the end of it. I don't recall anything in the 20-something minutes before that, but I'm pretty sure it ended with them all being in jail.

[Reg]

You're not alone. I couldn't stand Seinfeld either. There wasn't a single character in it that I didn't actively despise.

[Endie]

I can't really think of the last one I liked to be honest.

I can.  Spaced.  Hopefully, there will be another along in another ten years.  Woot.  Way to go, scriptwriters.

[WindupAtheist]

I have a grievance with myself for only realizing this year that Festivus is a Seinfeld thing.  Until now I never gave it much thought, and assumed it was some shit Schild made up or a particularly obscure Hunter S. Thompson reference.  Hey, I never watched Seinfeld due to the fact that it sucked, so this was the only place I'd ever heard of Festivus.

With that out of the way I can go back to flogging the Tangent That Will Not Die.

Superpower was a budget strategy title for the Deer Hunter crowd.

Yeah, because if there's one thing the Deer Hunter crowd is known for, it's a love of esoteric turn-based strategy games, right?  No, this was a simple case of an inexperienced team biting off more than it could chew and pushing out an alpha-quality product because they were out of money.

Mentioning it is almost as funny as that Gremlins 2 review you made awhile back.

That wasn't me.  Two years ago I posted a couple paragraphs on some Godzilla fighting game I was digging at the time, and you came along to compare that to the Gremlins 2 review, which had been posted the previous April by some random guy.  One can only speculate upon why that particular thread seems to have a permanent place in your mind.

And I daresay the fact that we're talking about some newb's five-sentence review of a shit movie that was posted over two and a half years ago to be far more strange than talking about an (admittedly out of date) example of how PC game developers are dumbasses.  So there.

[Ironwood]

You're not alone. I couldn't stand Seinfeld either. There wasn't a single character in it that I didn't actively despise.

Yup.  My views on 'Smug Unfunny Jewish Guy' are also on record.  It's a shit show.  However, to be fair, I don't think it would ever appeal to me.

See Fabricated for my views on the matter.

[stray]

One can only speculate upon why that particular thread seems to have a permanent place in your mind.

It's just one of the most absurd and hilarious things that I've ever seen at this site. Along with Harrison Ford and Ukraine Girl. Somehow I want to associate you with that level of absurdity.

My bad though. You will only be granted the absurdity you are due from now on.

[Signe]

My entire family is eccentric odd crazy different.   

[Fargull]

I hate work, or more importantly the fact that your hosting on an IP that my work has determined is best blocked.

BLAH

I hate rising gas prices, means my travel is costing more.  I would like to official log a protest at my inability to post when I am at home.

If the opportunity arrises from the sea in all fury, I hope I have the opportunity to be eaten first you glorious bastards.

[Yegolev]

Festivus isn't really an invention of the Seinfeld writers, they just promoted it.  I generally prefer it to the various religion-based holidays.

EDIT:  Oh, yeah, almost forgot to remind you pagans:

or the "Airing of Grievances" in which each person tells each and everyone else all the ways they've disappointed him/her over the past year,

[Lantyssa]

I hate that some people cannot be bothered to post the intended purpose at the begining of the thread then get all bent out of shape when we fail to follow it up to that point.

Better?

[Yegolev]

You should mention specifically who you are aggrieved by.  Otherwise, that was better.

I don't want to be the Linus of Festivus.

[voodoolily]

I hate that this year everyone is too polite to name names. I wanted to see that someone hates me this year. But I realize I've been too absent to be hated. I hate that too.

[Signe]

None of you are mean enough to hate.  You shoulld be meaner.  Way more meaner.  Or lamer.  Mean or lame.  er.  Not lameer.  Lamer.  Or meaner.

[WayAbvPar]

I hate that this year everyone is too polite to name names. I wanted to see that someone hates me this year. But I realize I've been too absent to be hated. I hate that too.

Shouldn't you be slaving over a hot stove to get my caramels made? 

Mindee made some chocolate almond caramels (with just a touch of coffee) that were SPECTACULAR.


Back to the hating-

I hate Deion Branch for being paid millions of dollars to DROP FUCKING PASSES, and Michael Boulware for getting beat deep with less than a minute to go. AGAIN.

[Yegolev]

None of you are mean enough to hate.  You shoulld be meaner.  Way more meaner.  Or lamer.  Mean or lame.  er.  Not lameer.  Lamer.  Or meaner.

Higher?  Way more higheeer?  Stoned?

[Signe]

Not stoned.  Just making sure I'm understood.  I am, right?  Understood, that is.

[Strazos]

Here, I'll just make myself a huge target with this one.

I hate VDL. Yeah, that's right, I said it. She's such a damn hippy; "I have to keep talking [in the woods], to scare away the bears!" WTF, wandering around in the woods in the middle of nowhere is work? Pfft. Oh, and you have a tattoo...on your arm....of "Science" in a DNA ring. Oooo, you're both hardcore AND nerdy, how novel. 

The entirety of the above statement should be assumed to be in Sarcastic Green....hey, she Asked for it. Who am I to deny her wish? 

[Yegolev]

Not stoned.  Just making sure I'm understood.  I am, right?  Understood, that is.

I understand very, very much.  Very well?  Very much.

[voodoolily]

Here, I'll just make myself a huge target with this one.

I hate VDL. Yeah, that's right, I said it. She's such a damn hippy; "I have to keep talking [in the woods], to scare away the bears!" WTF, wandering around in the woods in the middle of nowhere is work? Pfft. Oh, and you have a tattoo...on your arm....of "Science" in a DNA ring. Oooo, you're both hardcore AND nerdy, how novel. 

The entirety of the above statement should be assumed to be in Sarcastic Green....hey, she Asked for it. Who am I to deny her wish? 

Thanks, Straz. I feel better now. 

[Strazos]

Apparently, now Gamestop is going to be stocking, and I am not kidding you....Jinx t-shirts.

What. The. Fuck.

Lets put aside for a moment the problem of finding a fucking place to put a bunch of fucking shirts....in a game store...

Fuck Jinx. They latch onto anything "trendy" or any kind of fucking meme and make it into a shirt. Fucking stupid shit. Thanks for making my hobbies look even MORE stupid, cliched, childish, uncreative... did I say stupid already?

World of Warcraft? "More Dots"? Come the fuck on.

 What, no Leeroy Jenkins or NEDM shirts? Or EVE-Online or Vanguard? Only a matter of time, I suppose.

FACK, stabby stab stab stabby stab you in the fucking face assholes. If only I could. With my penis into your skull, you fuckers at Jinx.

Also, I can't wait for idiots to walk into Gamestop and ask me to fucking explain these shirts. And why not? They already ask me how to get online with the Wii or 360. Even if they don't subscribe to an ISP (RTFM bitches, or Google FFS).

[Yoru]

GameStop: The Hot Topic of the future!

[Sky]

And you wonder why pc gamers buy our shit online.

[Righ]

Also, I can't wait for idiots to walk into Gamestop and ask me to fucking explain these shirts. And why not? They already ask me how to get online with the Wii or 360. Even if they don't subscribe to an ISP (RTFM bitches, or Google FFS).

If they don't subscribe to an ISP, Google isn't going to help, you blonde tiny dancer. Go on, explain some of the shirts now, I could do with a chuckle.

[Strazos]

If they don't subscribe to an ISP, Google isn't going to help, you blonde tiny dancer. Go on, explain some of the shirts now, I could do with a chuckle.

Obviously, but that particular problem has only come up once.

[Mi_Tes]

In a crappy mood today, bored, no fricken MMO's out right now that I want to play and if I did, my pink alienware went boom so now I get to use a slow ugly gray dell.  I also want snow damit!  It seems like everyone else in the US has it right now, so why can't Austin.  Where are all the Wii's (I was supposed to find one for Xmas but they are nowhere).