Sweet Mother Of God, I'm in hell

[schild]

Here's the reviews for this weeks releases. I swear to god I'm in backwards land.

Manchurian Candidate - Fresh Rating 82%. Here's the choice review.

...may just be the greatest remake ever made...

[Harold and Kumar go to White Castle - Fresh Rating 72%. Here's the choice review.

… immature, clunky and probably the best bit of groundbreaking social commentary we've seen in years.

The Village - Fresh Rating 46%. Choice review:

… a colossal miscalculation, a movie based on a premise that cannot support it, a premise so transparent it would be laughable were the movie not so deadly solemn.

Now what the FUCK is going on in Hollywood? When an M. Night Shyamalan movie just ruptures at the kidney and Dude Where's my Car 2: Electric Boogaloo takes off. Fuck, I don't even have appropriate words for what I'm thinking right now.

I don't even want to start on the fact that Denzel Washington starred in a remake of one of the greatest films of our time. He's blown nothing but smoke out of his ass for his last 3 pictures. Four if you realize how overrated Training Day was.

Someone get Hollywood on the phone, they have some explaining to do - as in, how much did buying EVERY critic cost?

Edit: Seems some things are right in the world, people realized Spike Lee generally bites ass. 'She Hate Me' could be one of the most hated movies on the market. Irony is a bitch, isn't it Spike. Though, I'm sure this movie will still do better than "Juwanna Mann."










it's backwards month, right?

[stray]

I'm going to check out the Manchurian Candidate this weekend, even though I don't think they needed to remake it. The original Candidate is my Dad's favorite movie, one which he got me to appreciate when I was a kid, so it's a good way to go out and do something with him. I'm kinda curious to see if or how it's going to surprise me though. What exactly do they change?

I could care less about Harold and Kumar. I'm surprised how much advertising it's getting, and all the good reviews..But then again, so did Anchorman, and I thought that was a piece of shit. Same goes for just about every comedy released in the past few years.

I've only seen two Shyamalan movies: The Sixth Sense (which I thought was good) and Unbreakable (which I didn't like). He's 50/50 to me, so I expect bad reviews. I heard Signs was good though.

it's backwards month, right?

Hey, good news then: It's almost over, and Ali G is back (as well as the Season 1 DVD :)

[DA]

Meh, random event comedy isn't for everyone, especially if you go into it expecting a crappy movie :)

Although I was looking forward to The Village for a few monthes or so, but it looks like It'll be a rental.

[SirBruce]

While Manchurian Candidate is a remake, I've heard a lot of good things about it as well.  It was a movie that was really ripe to be remade and could be very good if it is done right.  Much of the plot, and particularly the ending, has been altered, so while some of the same character types and themes are present, it seems more like a "re-envisioning" than a straight up remake like the recent version of The Lion In Winter.

Roper (of Ebert &) said that Harold and Kumar was much better than Dude, Where's My Car, so don't let that movie put you off to this one.  This is the sort of comedy I would probably usually skip, but my brother and I both LOVE White Castle, so we feel like we have to see it, to pay proper respects.

For more thoughts on The Village, see my other thread.  Suffice it to say I'm not surprised the movie is turning off a lot of people, particularly if they went to see it expecting a scary movie.

Bruce

[SurfD]

Entertaining little Movie Tidbit concerning White Castle.  If I am not mistaken, I recall reading that a good chunk of the movie was shot here in Canada (could be all of it, might be wrong).  Since there are no White Castle chain stores in the great white north, they actually built one here just for the movie :P

[Signe]

I knew there was something odd about you, Surf... you are Canadian! ;p

Anyway, the only one I'm remotely interested in seeing, at this point, is The Manchurian Canidate.  Well, someday... when it comes out on DvD.  I don't usually go to movie theaters... I don't like the odour.

[schild]

Anyway, the only one I'm remotely interested in seeing, at this point, is The Manchurian Canidate.  Well, someday... when it comes out on DvD.  I don't usually go to movie theaters... I don't like the outdoors. I must keep my moontan even.

FIFY.

[Signe]

Bah!  You little bastard.  I'll have you know, I was outside during the daylight hours just recently, when we moved to the land of Tony Soprano.  And for many, many minutes!  At least I don't stay hidden on the forums so I can lurk and pounce on unsuspecting nice girls, you little perv.

[Velorath]

I've only seen two Shyamalan movies: The Sixth Sense (which I thought was good) and Unbreakable (which I didn't like). He's 50/50 to me, so I expect bad reviews. I heard Signs was good though.

Signs is ok if there is some way to explain why aliens with the technology to travel through space and the strength to leap on top of houses can't break down fucking doors.

[Mediocre]

I don't even want to start on the fact that Denzel Washington starred in a remake of one of the greatest films of our time. He's blown nothing but smoke out of his ass for his last 3 pictures. Four if you realize how overrated Training Day was.

Considering it's all about personal taste, many of us liked Training Day?  I hadn't seen it until just within the last month or two, but I really enjoyed it.

I could care less about Harold and Kumar. I'm surprised how much advertising it's getting, and all the good reviews..But then again, so did Anchorman, and I thought that was a piece of shit. Same goes for just about every comedy released in the past few years.

Hey, good news then: It's almost over, and Ali G is back (as well as the Season 1 DVD :)

I've seen both Anchorman and Harold and Kumar, and comparing the two is just wrong.  Anchorman, I had to *look* for the funny... There were a few decent parts, but the whole time I consciously realized I was forcing myself to laugh, as if someone somewhere was yelling at me "THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!!".  Harold and Kumar was just hilariously good.  Anchorman was, the more I think about it, a piece of shit.  Don't put H&K in that category.

[Threash]

I don't see the problem, while harold and kumar might not be shakespeare it certainly delivers on what it promises, a funny inmature teen comedy.  On the other hand The Village did not deliver what it was suposed too, the plot twist was completely transparent and its already been done before and it simply did not measure up to other M. Night movies.

[schild]

The problem is, as someone who watches about a about 700-1000 movies a year, Harold and Kumar is supposed to be dumb as shit and just basically suck and M. Night's movies are supposed to be fantastic. When that is reversed, well, it gets hard to breathe.

[Murgos]

Manchurian Candidate was excellent.

[kaid]

I have to say that the village is the worst of the movies from that M night shawlawhea however you spell his name. It has THE most transparent "gotcha" hell I knew what was going to happen even before going tot he movie without reading anything about it.

Frankly it would have been a better movie if the premise was actually what was going on.

Kaid

[SurfD]

as someone who watches about a about 700-1000 movies a year........

Does the math......fuck man, you should get a part time job at a movie theatre or something.  Even with rentals, you would probably save a shitload of money  (and get PAID to watch movies)

[schild]

as someone who watches about a about 700-1000 movies a year........

Does the math......fuck man, you should get a part time job at a movie theatre or something.  Even with rentals, you would probably save a shitload of money  (and get PAID to watch movies)

Heh, most of the movies were bought while working at Best Buy on discount. In fact I'd say about 90% of them. I've been collecting dvds for about 6 years now and am sitting stable at around 1500. Everyone has their obsession, mine's film.

Through college I took at least 2-3 film courses a year, starting the second semester.  Summers I usually took an extra 2 because summer courses are fantastically easy, and it gives me something to do.

I also worked in an anime store where I could pretty much just watch foreign movies and shit all day. In addition, I have a monitor with a dvd player (converted to VGA) so I can watch movies while I'm working or playing MMOs. Helps pass the time and the treadmill.

But yea, it's possible I watch too many.

[Mediocre]

A costly hobby.  But far be it from me to judge.  Still, how does it affect your financial situation, savings wise?  The general rule of thumb I've always heard is that once out of college, the first thing you should do is live like a pauper until you have 6 month's worth of income, minimum, in the bank for emergencies, and then go from there.

700-1000 movies a year... even if they were only 5 bucks each, that's still somewhere on the order of 5 grand.  Expensive tastes.

Edit:  And doesn't that equate to an average of watching 3-4 movies a day?  How do you swing *that*?  Significant other in your life, and if so, does she mind?

[schild]

I just finished school, only bought 2 dvds since I graduated. Heh. No girlfriend, haven't even attempted, don't know where I'm moving to yet. Long distance is the suck.

Once I get a job, I plan on living like Oliver Twist for a pretty long time. And yea, while in school between class and home, other than nights out, it was pretty much between 2 and 4 a day. Sometimes as many as 6 when super bored. My first year seems like a haze of alcohol now. So for the last 3 years it was less of that business.

[Morfiend]

I've only seen two Shyamalan movies: The Sixth Sense (which I thought was good) and Unbreakable (which I didn't like). He's 50/50 to me, so I expect bad reviews. I heard Signs was good though.

Signs is ok if there is some way to explain why aliens with the technology to travel through space and the strength to leap on top of houses can't break down fucking doors.

Honestly, I dont know what people see in Shyamalan. He got lucky with The Sixth Sense, and then overhyped to all hell. He gets good plotlines and then totally RUINS the movie with way way way to much middle-aged male angst. Shyamalan is 1 for 3 in my book, and I dont plan on spending any money to see The Village.

I agree with schild about Training Day, I think it was WAY overrated. Compaire Training Day to The Shield. I think we have a clear winner in cop drama there.

[stray]

Manchurian Candidate was excellent.

Agreed. Of course, it doesn't measure up to the original, but there were significant enough plot changes where I didn't feel like I was watching the same movie.

[Dark Vengeance]

The problem is, as someone who watches about a about 700-1000 movies a year, Harold and Kumar is supposed to be dumb as shit and just basically suck.

The problem is that by taking the "artsy film buff" approach, you are missing the fact that some comedies are dumb as shit ON PURPOSE. That's what is supposed to make them funny. Take Animal House, Tommy Boy, or Caddyshack as serious works of film, and you're obviously going to be vastly disappointed.

In a way, you have to rate the film on what it is TRYING to do, and how entertaining it is in reaching that objective (if at all). Particularly with comedies and action flicks, this is why critics usually miss the mark.

M. Night Shyamalan has made a career out of overly pretentious, slightly creepy movies about the supernatural, typically with some surprising plot twist. After a few flicks, some folks have decided that the thrill is gone...not surprising that he did a flick with a shaky premise and predictable plot twist.

I think at certain times, a film can take itself far too seriously. Sometimes that can be good, and you get a Braveheart, or a Last Samurai....other times you get Over The Top.

Bring the noise.
Cheers.............

[angry.bob]

Signs is ok if there is some way to explain why aliens with the technology to travel through space and the strength to leap on top of houses can't break down fucking doors.

Or why the same aliens, who happen to disolve/die if water gets on them, can walk around unprotected in our atmosphere. Or why they'd want our moist planet to begin with.

Frankly it would have been a better movie if the premise was actually what was going on.

Yeah I thought the same thing. I was hoping that the big twist was that the villiage was Roanoke and the "others in the woods" were drunken redskins dressed up as porcupines or something. As it was I figured the twist out when they started rubbing their ouchy vaginas about going to town for medicine. After that I was annoyed that I dropped $20 to watch an Outer Limits episode drug out to movie length.

THis movie reminded me of 13th Warrior, but without any of the shit that made 13th Warrior. Namely Vikings in completely anachronistic armor, shit getting stabbed, Herger the Jolly, Antonio Banderas as an effeminate arab, cavemen dressed as bears wrecking shit, boobs, and anything else fun.

[HaemishM]

Don't be dissing Harold and Kumar. For what it is (and that's extremely important), it looks to be pretty goddamn hysterical.

After Signs, I don't have the confidence in Shamalamadingdong that I used to. That movie was boring, overwrought, and tried way too much to be moody/mysterious and just ended up boring. The Village could be good, but I'm sure it's marketed to be scarier than it actually is. If the director can get over trying to make a twist ending EVERY SINGLE MOVIE, he might grow as an artist. FWIW, I think Unbreakable was his best, though not nearly as surprising as The Sixth Sense.

Don't underestimate the power of stoner comedy.

As for remakes, Hollywood long ago sold its originality for profit. I thought Training Day was great as much for Washington's performance as the story or direction. If Candidate is decent, great, but I won't attempt to compare the two as we all know Hollywood can never leave well enough alone.

I take great security blanket comfort in the knowledge that Catwoman has earned about $23 million, which probably barely paid for one of Halle Berry's tits.

EDIT: And to add some piling on to the remake hatred, I saw Starsky & Hutch this weekend. Holy fucking GOD, who greenlit this script? The funniest bits were in the trailer, and the rest of the time was really flat, uninteresting homo-erotic jokes about how Starsky and Hutch should be butt pirates with a offensively bad '70's soundtrack. I mean, I GOT THE JOKE THE FIRST FUCKING TIME, YOU DEGENERATE TWAT, I don't need it hammered into my head every 5 fucking seconds. I couldn't even finish watching it, and I very, very rarely ever turn off a movie even if I hate it.

[Alluvian]

I agree with Unbreakable being his best.  I had heard from some random source that I have long since forgotten that it was going to be a trilogy.  Oh god how I would have rather had unbreakable 2 and 3 instead of signs and the village.  I actually liked signs when I saw it in the theatre, but I could never get myself to want to watch it again.  Aliens that die in water attacking a planet with RAIN and 3/4 of the surface covered in water.  Yeah, that was a brilliant plan spaceman spiff.

[Velorath]

Maybe they were coming to this planet to get drunk off our sour milk.

[kaid]

The other problem for M Night is that after you get people used to expecting a twist in every single movie its no longer a twist. It is a gimmick that starts killing your story in a vain attempt to add a surprise.

The village I think would have been a tons better flim if the movie was actually about the things you see in the preview. The need to add the twist turns the movie into an utter joke and a very perdictable one at that.

The problem with it being perdictable is not because the ending was necessary but because you know there IS a twist and it really was the only way for the movie to twist to.

Kaid

[Murgos]

Maybe they were coming to this planet to get drunk off our sour milk.

Crap what was that from?  Now my brain will be trying to remember that and unable to accomplish any other higher functions for the rest of the day.  Thanks a lot!

[ArtificialKid]

I don't even want to start on the fact that Denzel Washington starred in a remake of one of the greatest films of our time. He's blown nothing but smoke out of his ass for his last 3 pictures.

Man on Fire?

[Murgos]

Yeah, Man on fire was pretty good I thought.

[Dark Vengeance]

Maybe they were coming to this planet to get drunk off our sour milk.

Crap what was that from?  Now my brain will be trying to remember that and unable to accomplish any other higher functions for the rest of the day.  Thanks a lot!

It was Alien Nation.

Bring the noise.
Cheers.............

[ClydeJr]

Maybe they were coming to this planet to get drunk off our sour milk.

Crap what was that from?  Now my brain will be trying to remember that and unable to accomplish any other higher functions for the rest of the day.  Thanks a lot!

Pretty sure it's Alien Nation.

[Roac]

The other problem for M Night is that after you get people used to expecting a twist in every single movie its no longer a twist.

I'll agree.  I haven't seen Village yet - with a wife who doesn't like horror, and piss-poor reviews, I probably won't either.  I really liked Sixth Sense, and I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that I didn't expect a plot twist.  I probably should've seen the twist in that one comming, but I didn't because I didn't expect it - and when you ran into it, it was a "wooooh...." moment.  Aside from that, it was an interesting movie about the relationship between the main characters.

I thought Unbreakable was weaker, but still a good movie.  No plot twist here (what, you're surprised that Samuel Jackson was a bad guy?  Or that the guy with "all the answers" was a bad guy?), but an interesting take on something that you wouldn't expect a movie to be about, yet had enough realism to it to connect.  

I didn't like Signs.  Too many people were odd, and seemed to be odd just for odd sake (esp. the kid).  The plot was just horrid - the water thing was a joke.  Aliens who can make cookie cutter patterns out of wood, but can't open them, was a joke.  Shymalan's overall metaplot point was scuttled on not being able to suspend disbelief.  

I dunno.  I'll probably pick it up at some point once it hits DVD, but when the previews hype up the surprise twist... it's not going to be much of a surprise.

[Arcadian Del Sol]

I've only seen two Shyamalan movies: The Sixth Sense (which I thought was good) and Unbreakable (which I didn't like). He's 50/50 to me, so I expect bad reviews. I heard Signs was good though.

Signs is ok if there is some way to explain why aliens with the technology to travel through space and the strength to leap on top of houses can't break down fucking doors.

locust.

[TenaciousMike]

Man on Fire was probably the biggest underrated film I've ever seen.  The acting and the story were top notch.  If it had a different director (to remove the acid-trip though sequences) it would have been box office gold.

I've seen more movies than I care to admit (friends who work at theaters get me in free!).  And aside from "THIS HAS TO BE A BLOCKBUSTER" movies like Spiderman, etc... Man on Fire was the best movie I've seen this year.  

I'm going to see Harold and Kumar sometime this week.  I don't smoke pot, but I find pothead humor really amusing (Half Baked was the bomb, yo).

[schild]

I'm not so much in hell anymore, this is Kirsten Dunst talking to Beer.com

B: Have you talked to Pedro Almodovar about doing a movie?

KD: No, I haven't, but I would love to work with him.

B: You said you would do nudity for him.

KD: For him, yeah I would. He would be so tasteful. I just love "Talk to Her" and I just thought it was beautiful.

kekela~