Useless Conversation

[Nebu]

I'm certainly not trying to discourage you from taking legal action.  You need to do what you feel is best. 

[Lantyssa]

After my abscess surgery I got one of the morphine pumps.  I think they did explain it, but I was still mostly out of it and the memory drugs hadn't worn off.  I vaguely recall one of the nurses back in my room later, after I mentioned being in a bit of pain, telling me I could press the button when the light was green.

I think they had pressed it for me once or twice before I was really awake.  Maybe my mom did though, since she's a nurse.  The first day is fuzzy, so I'm not sure.

[Sky]

Morphine pump? How do they treat the hand cramps? 

[Lantyssa]

More morphine!

[Lantyssa]

Double post, but I forgot to mention I was at a small party with the President of IGN last night.  And we didn't talk games!  His wife knew people from my tiny home town.  It's weird how small the world can be sometimes.

[Cyrrex]

I would add acurrent one of myself but it includes adult diapers, five day growth of beard, and a distended belly with multiple incision points all of which would likely result in my being banned!  

One need only revive the Scary Pictures thread!

[rattran]

...And then get banned.

[ghost]

I love the fact that Texas is in the most severe drought in modern history and jackasses still throw their cigarette butts out of their car windows as they drive.  Fuckers. 

[MuffinMan]

I'm glad these fires are nowhere near me as of yet. It does make me nervous with how close I am to a greenbrownbelt, though.

[ghost]

On of my wife's friends lives (lived?   ) in that neighborhood in Bastrop that lost so many houses. 

[Merusk]

I would just like to take a moment to vent and reiterate the epithet that all women are lying, manipulative excrement - I think that was Ironwood's.  I would like to amend, "But most especially wives."

I'm going to go rage for a bit to myself now.

[Talpidae]

All women are liars, all men are scum.

I stand by it.

I suspect, however, that the other bits of language 'colour' are yours, put in by the way you're feeling right now.  Chin up.

[ghost]

Now that we know you're Ironwood could you just let Trippy reinstate your old account, just for kicks and grins?

Hope things perk up, Merusk. 

[Talpidae]

IT WAS NEVER EVER EVER A SECRET.

But, yeah, after Teleku being shocked and surprised weeks on, I've already requested Trippy assistance, since it's a pain in my arse now too.

[Ironwood]

So we'll see how that goes.

[ghost]

 

[Ard]

Now the real fun begins.  Is that actually Ironwood, or is that Trippy fucking with us, or are we all actually Ironwood?

[ghost]

Either way is good, I think. 

[Samwise]

Yay, Ironwood's back!

Sorry to hear it, Merusk.  Feel free to get raging drunk and vent at me over IM sometime.

[Ironwood]

Ditto.  I always love a good 'My Wife Needs to Die' story.

[Merusk]

I wish it were just something I could understand.  Like an affair or plotting my murder.

No, it's money.  I don't understand fucking hiding bills from the guy paying them until he eventually intercepts one of the calls from the collection agency.  At which point he - once again - begins to wonder how the sunk-cost fallacy applies to marriages.

For the third time in as many years I'm considering getting an attorney and filing for divorce.  The only thing keeping me from it is my own arrogance about failing at something.  Well, that and knowing that despite the fact that she's lousy at impulse and finance management and would be in even worse debt within 6 months the laws are in her favor for child custody.  Wherein I'd be on the hook for it via alimony.  It's cheaper to stay married and just try to cut shit off as I find out about it.

This time she got clever and was having the medical bills sent to a P.O. box instead of home.  I suspect that's where the HSA statements I've been asking about have been going as well. We're supposed to be contributing $200 a month towards that account so we can cover regular medical.  Considering the collections agent told me there were 2 separate accounts for $350 and $475 each, I'm guessing that's not happening.  Meaning she's been diverting the medical funds to her personal account so she can do lord knows what with it.

I'm plain fed-up.  I know I'll be talked out of kicking her out (for the aforementioned reasons) and I'm at my wits end for it.   Doesn't help this is all after the hell of dealing with the auto accident and other shit.

[Nebu]

I'm sorry Merusk.  That's a tough situation to deal with.  Do your best to keep a clear head. 

 

[Rasix]

 

Hey, I've thought my marriage has been over at least 2 times in the 7 years we've been together.  Somehow it pulled through.  I imagine strike 3 won't be a very pleasant experience either.

Never had to deal with that sort of problem you're describing, Merusk.  That's just ugly and full of other shit hiding under the surface. Good luck, man.

[Ironwood]

I wish it were just something I could understand.  Like an affair or plotting my murder.

No, it's money.  I don't understand fucking hiding bills from the guy paying them until he eventually intercepts one of the calls from the collection agency.  At which point he - once again - begins to wonder how the sunk-cost fallacy applies to marriages.

For the third time in as many years I'm considering getting an attorney and filing for divorce.  The only thing keeping me from it is my own arrogance about failing at something.  Well, that and knowing that despite the fact that she's lousy at impulse and finance management and would be in even worse debt within 6 months the laws are in her favor for child custody.  Wherein I'd be on the hook for it via alimony.  It's cheaper to stay married and just try to cut shit off as I find out about it.

This time she got clever and was having the medical bills sent to a P.O. box instead of home.  I suspect that's where the HSA statements I've been asking about have been going as well. We're supposed to be contributing $200 a month towards that account so we can cover regular medical.  Considering the collections agent told me there were 2 separate accounts for $350 and $475 each, I'm guessing that's not happening.  Meaning she's been diverting the medical funds to her personal account so she can do lord knows what with it.

I'm plain fed-up.  I know I'll be talked out of kicking her out (for the aforementioned reasons) and I'm at my wits end for it.   Doesn't help this is all after the hell of dealing with the auto accident and other shit.

Get Out.  Trying to change someone who's doing this shit is about as much use as a cock-flavoured lollypop.

GET OUT.

[Paelos]

Merusk, several of my clients have dealt with divorce issues that arise from money. If you want a CPA opinion on your situation and/or feel the need to vent to someone with a financial background that could offer you some potential advice, feel free to PM me.

[Samwise]

This story sounds very familiar.  Multiple times over, sadly.

I've dodged one alimony bullet.  Next time around, no matter how goofy in love I am, I'm getting a prenup that takes it off the table.  It's horrible to have a financial threat of that magnitude be a deciding factor in whether to continue putting up with someone's shit.

[shiznitz]

If you really think divorce will happen at some point, use cash to buy hard assets and hide it.  Do a little every month.  Then those assets won't be in the division of assets if you don't tell anyone and no one can track it since you used cash.  After the divorce is final, sell as needed.  You might not get 100 cents on the dollar for them, but you should get more than 50 that the divorce would take.

[Minvaren]

Trust issues in relationships suck, Merusk.  If you're serious about making this work for any length of time, I'd seek professional outside help.

[Samwise]

If you really think divorce will happen at some point, use cash to buy hard assets and hide it.  Then those assets won't be in the division of assets if you don't tell anyone.  After the divorce is final, sell as needed.  You might not get 100 cents on the dollar for them, but you should get more than 50 that the divorce would take.

My understanding is that if your ex somehow finds out about that little trick somewhere down the road (like years after the divorce was finalized), they can drag your ass back to court and put your nuts in a vice.  Doesn't seem worth the risk to me.

[Sand]

Merusk,

I know you have kids to think of in this situation and they should be your primary concern. But staying in a marriage with an addict (you mentioned she has shown this behiavor in the past) isnt good for you or the kids. Has she relapsed before and have you sought professional counseling?
You cant be counselor and husband. Are their treatment programs near you?

[Yegolev]

I'm thinking it might be difficult to keep going, financially, in either case.  Alimony sucks and apparently business as usual is also awful.  Are there methods available to lock down the assets and allow only yourself access?  I mean, sounds like you need to do something drastic.

[Strazos]

Dude, that just sucks. 

[Abagadro]

Don't rathole assets and lie about it. you will end up in a world of pain.

[Der Helm]

The law has spoken! 

Also, Good luck, Merusk. I wish you guys all the best.

[Selby]

I'm plain fed-up.

This is one of the main reasons why my marriage ended too.  I wish you luck.