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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Serious Business  |  Topic: Useless Conversation Ard and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: Useless Conversation  (Read 1167725 times)
Engels
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8719

inflicts shingles.


Reply #35 on: September 27, 2006, 12:57:25 PM

Murphy's law of Office Flatulence.

When in your office by yourself, if you hold off on farting, you will only recieve visits from lesbian middle aged co-workers. If, on the other hand, you let down your guard and let a stinky one rip, you will immideately recieve a visit from the cute 20something assistant with the wonderous cleavage. It never fails.

I should get back to nature, too.  You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer.  Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached.  Buy a car with only two cup holders or something.

-Signe

I LIKE being bounced around by Tonkors. - Lantyssa

"let go of my dick you mother fucker!"  - Jimbo
Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18743

Muse.


Reply #36 on: September 27, 2006, 01:05:43 PM

I don't know why I like you.  You say the most awful things!  I have no doubt that this just happened to you, too.  eww.

My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848


Reply #37 on: September 27, 2006, 01:17:32 PM

I don't get visits from either of those types. It gets lonely hiding in an out of the way server room. cry

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
Rasix
Moderator
Posts: 14095

I am the harbinger of your doom!


Reply #38 on: September 27, 2006, 02:15:23 PM

Being married I tend to fart with reckless abandon.  Same with burping. 

-Rasix
Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 16369

sentient yeast infection


WWW
Reply #39 on: September 27, 2006, 02:35:15 PM

Apparently Samwise and I are meeting up over the weekend.  I think I might get tanked.  I might also get a massive curry.


Aha... I get what you're up to.  In case the tanking might cause Samwise into thinking he could get lucky, the curry will keep him away from any of your sensitive orifices.

Brilliant.

He seems more interested in the wife.

Did I just get outed as a heterosexual?

"Nice attempted blast about my "drinking".  I do enjoy a nice cuppa, but that is because I am a bon vivant of gregarious nature and cheery disposition." - Ab
Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848


Reply #40 on: September 27, 2006, 03:51:06 PM

*gaspNDA

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18743

Muse.


Reply #41 on: September 27, 2006, 04:48:22 PM

Being married I tend to fart with reckless abandon.  Same with burping. 

So does Righ.  I blame myself.  I can only assume my wonderful cooking makes him windy. 

My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
Engels
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8719

inflicts shingles.


Reply #42 on: September 27, 2006, 10:06:07 PM

I have no doubt that this just happened to you, too.  eww.

It did not happen to me! I just know it will!

I should get back to nature, too.  You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer.  Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached.  Buy a car with only two cup holders or something.

-Signe

I LIKE being bounced around by Tonkors. - Lantyssa

"let go of my dick you mother fucker!"  - Jimbo
Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 25959


Reply #43 on: September 28, 2006, 01:37:57 AM

Did anyone ever wonder how gambling started ?

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18743

Muse.


Reply #44 on: September 28, 2006, 06:23:17 AM

You should only eat things that smell nice, then.  Like potpourri, and air freshners, and scented candles.  Avoid food.

My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
Engels
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8719

inflicts shingles.


Reply #45 on: September 28, 2006, 08:30:14 AM

Did anyone ever wonder how gambling started ?


Is there something you wish to tell us about your daughter's college fund?

I should get back to nature, too.  You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer.  Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached.  Buy a car with only two cup holders or something.

-Signe

I LIKE being bounced around by Tonkors. - Lantyssa

"let go of my dick you mother fucker!"  - Jimbo
Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 25959


Reply #46 on: September 28, 2006, 08:35:02 AM

Did anyone ever wonder how gambling started ?


Is there something you wish to tell us about your daughter's college fund?

Heh.  No, that's still secure.

I was just wondering this morning when we first started to gamble.  When did Man, as a species, first say "Tenner says that Thagg gets it from the Pointy Lizard ?"

I was watching a craps and a roulette table the other day and thinking of the rules and the elegant systems that were designed around losing your money and wondering "How the Fuck did this ever happen ?"

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Miasma
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5282

Stopgap Measure


Reply #47 on: September 28, 2006, 08:47:51 AM

I envision two cavemen arguing about something prehistoric and one of them gets the innovative idea of grunting "put your money where your mouth is".  Then others started getting in on the action.
Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602

Rrava roves you rong time


Reply #48 on: September 28, 2006, 10:52:40 AM

Prehistoric 5 year olds.

"I'll give you this rock if you pull the sabre-toothed tiger's tail."

That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
Cyrrex
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6839


Reply #49 on: October 04, 2006, 03:40:46 AM

This thread is too important to go idle for 6 days.  With that in mind, I have the following to add, which I doubt most of you have any practical experience with:

Yesterday, I mailed my own feces.

Never, ever assume someone that short and fat has their shit together. - Schild
Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 25959


Reply #50 on: October 04, 2006, 03:44:25 AM

Are you expecting them to write back ?

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Cyrrex
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6839


Reply #51 on: October 04, 2006, 03:52:55 AM

Your Signe impersonation is uncanny.

And it wasn't a "them", it was an "it"....wait.  Is feces both the singular AND plural form?  Like moose?

Never, ever assume someone that short and fat has their shit together. - Schild
Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 25959


Reply #52 on: October 04, 2006, 04:16:24 AM

And you'll note that we're never in the same room at the same time.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602

Rrava roves you rong time


Reply #53 on: October 04, 2006, 08:54:01 AM

What kind of postage does that require?  I hope it was a heavy duty envelope.

That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 23244

2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST


WWW
Reply #54 on: October 04, 2006, 10:00:47 AM

If you are playing find-the-toys-I-hid with a two-year-old, do not hide a toy in the microwave.

I have always delivered my waste products in person.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Miasma
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5282

Stopgap Measure


Reply #55 on: October 05, 2006, 11:40:33 AM

Quote
A bear rides a motorcycle on a high-wire while carrying a stuntwoman below during a show at the Animal Games in a wildlife park in Nanjing, in eastern China's Jiangsu province Tuesday, Oct. 3, 2006. The show was one of many events held to attract visitors to the park during the week-long National Day holiday. (AP Photo/EyePress)
Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28914

I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.


WWW
Reply #56 on: October 05, 2006, 12:45:27 PM

But can he mail his own feces in the woods?

HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 37290

Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you and other troops you control.


WWW
Reply #57 on: October 05, 2006, 01:06:08 PM

Only at the bulk rate.

RhyssaFireheart
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2835


WWW
Reply #58 on: October 05, 2006, 01:40:22 PM

Quote
A bear rides a motorcycle on a high-wire while carrying a stuntwoman below during a show at the Animal Games in a wildlife park in Nanjing, in eastern China's Jiangsu province Tuesday, Oct. 3, 2006. The show was one of many events held to attract visitors to the park during the week-long National Day holiday. (AP Photo/EyePress)

Why does the Nation Day holiday last for a week?

Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28914

I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.


WWW
Reply #59 on: October 05, 2006, 01:44:53 PM

I wish we had holiweeks. Damned commies!

Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 23244

2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST


WWW
Reply #60 on: October 08, 2006, 08:40:30 PM

I think I have almost convinced my wife to watch me play all of the other Final Fantasy games, in reverse order perhaps.  We'll see what's up when we are done with #7.  If I can get her interested in #6, I'll probably be home-free!

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18743

Muse.


Reply #61 on: October 08, 2006, 09:12:48 PM


My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 25959


Reply #62 on: October 09, 2006, 01:32:11 AM

 undecided

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848


Reply #63 on: October 09, 2006, 08:09:14 AM

I don't know whether to laugh at that icon or cry in sympathy.

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 23244

2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST


WWW
Reply #64 on: October 09, 2006, 08:56:17 AM

That's hilarious.  I think Signe's fascination with breasts is almost on par with mine.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18743

Muse.


Reply #65 on: October 09, 2006, 09:19:26 AM

That's hilarious.  I think Signe's fascination with breasts is almost on par with mine.

I never used to be fascinated by breasts.  It's just every time I see your name, I think of boobies.  It's all your fault.

My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
NiX
Wiki Admin
Posts: 7770

Locomotive Pandamonium


Reply #66 on: October 09, 2006, 10:02:22 AM

I like boobies

On another note, I think I fractured my hand playing hockey :(
Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15214

Trading Cotton for Chalupas in 2014!


Reply #67 on: October 09, 2006, 10:08:28 AM

Someone in our game did just that on saturday.

And he was our only sub, so we played the entire 3rd period of our second game with no subs. It was not quite what I would call fun...but my evil scheme of dumping the puck and Left Wing Lock actually worked for us.

Fear the Backstab!
"Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion
"Hell is other people." -Sartre
Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 23244

2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST


WWW
Reply #68 on: October 09, 2006, 10:21:40 AM

That's hilarious.  I think Signe's fascination with breasts is almost on par with mine.

I never used to be fascinated by breasts.  It's just every time I see your name, I think of boobies.  It's all your fault.

My Master Plan is succeeding.  Unless you mean the avian type.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
NiX
Wiki Admin
Posts: 7770

Locomotive Pandamonium


Reply #69 on: October 09, 2006, 03:55:05 PM

Someone in our game did just that on saturday.

And he was our only sub, so we played the entire 3rd period of our second game with no subs. It was not quite what I would call fun...but my evil scheme of dumping the puck and Left Wing Lock actually worked for us.

I wish I had some awesome story for why it happened. But, it's really stupid. It was midnight shinny and we were all warming up. I was CLEARLY talking to a player. Someone asked to take a shot on me so I setup, stopped it and let the puck go. Turn back to talk to the player and out of the corner of my eye I see my buddy winding up for a slapshot as the puck rebounded towards him. I turn and throw my glove over my stomach to prevent serious damage to that part of my body. Direct shot to the palm of my hand with my stomach behind it to make sure my hand took all of the force.

He insists it's my fault. A goalie should always be ready for random slapshots during warm up. I hate forwards.
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