Useless Conversation

[Merusk]

MMM.. Jets.

[Engels]

So, testing my new drop box and showing off the types of planes that excite me a lot more than jets :)



Edit: sheesh.

[schild]

Jesus, a bitmap? Really. JPG, PNG, GIF, anything but bitmap.

[Nebu]

I'm a huge fan of prop plane dogfight sims... what game is that?

[Engels]

IL-2 Sturmovik 1946 (contains original game and every single expansion thereafter. worth picking up if you've never played with it)

[schild]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/orl/740493470.html

Want it from behind while you play Super Mario Brothers ? - m4w
Date: 2008-07-02, 2:35PM EDT


Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get tagged from behind while you do it? This is the post for you then.

You must know your way around the game before we meet, must be open to anal sex, also able to fake an orgasm is a plus.

I will send you the address to a hotel and a room number. When you arrive the door will be open. Please come in close and lock the door and close the shades if they are still open. I will be in the bathroom and the door will be closed. Turn on the TV and the Nintendo. Remove all of your clothing. Turn off all lights in the room and kneel down on the bed so you are directly in the light of the TV. You need to be facing the TV with your butt in the air pointed toward the pillows on the bed.

Press the start button on the controller when you are ready. I will hear the sound and turn the light off in the bathroom and come out. You will not look directly at me, only look at the TV. When the first level starts I will begin to finger you and lick you. I will be using lots of lube as well.

When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, "MORE", "HARDER", "YES", "FUCK ME", but nothing else. I will continue having sex until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts.

When you reach the flag you must again trigger the fireworks, and also orgasm. I will pull out. When the 1-3 starts I will penetrate your ass. You are allowed to say something like "OH GOD", "YES", OR "IT HURTS" no other conversation is allowed.

When level 1-4 starts I will alternate between holes as I see fit. You may beg me to cum inside or outside of you, depending on what you want. When boss falls and you reach the princess I will pull out and blow my load where you have convinced me I want too. You may then say something like "Thanks", "It was great", "I loved it", "Don't stop"

If I am impressed you may continue playing and I will continue to pleasure you. If I am not, I will turn the Nintendo Off and return to the bathroom. At this time you may clean your self with the towel that is beside the bed. Turn the lights on, redress yourself and leave.

I may come back out and talk to you as you dress but the conversation will most likely be short and revolve around scheduling another time to get together.


    * Location: Orlando
    * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

[schild]

We really, really need a Best of Craigslist thread.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/col/725246623.html

[Oban]

Awesome, I always wondered who played those archaic Nintendo games offered on hotel entertainment systems.

[WayAbvPar]

I play in a golf tournament every year on Seafair Saturday @ Jefferson (on top of Beacon Hill). The Angels always do a practice show during the tournament, and are flying just over the top of us. I swear one of my teammates' drives was high enough to touch one of them if they flew over at the wrong moment. SOOOO cool.

[Engels]

Ya ya ya. I was all of 10 blocks from you. Trying to take an after lunch nap. They buzzed the hell out of Capital Hill this year, dunno why. Probably to scare the lefties.

[Oban]

 Toward a Canonical List of Zombie Rhymes

Q: What do zombies like to eat?
A: BRAAAAAAAAAAINS.

Q: What do vegetarian zombies like to eat?
A: GRAAAAAAAAAAINS.

Q: What do vegetarian zombies eat when they’re on vacation in Jamaica?
A: PLANTAAAAAAAINS.

Q: What is the favorite city of Illinois zombies?
A: DES PLAAAAAAINES.

Q: What are zombies’ favorite scale model entertainment?
A: MODEL TRAAAAAINS.

[Ironwood]

I'm bored.  I'm the Chairman of the Board.

I think Oban is as bored as I am.

[Oban]

I'm bored.  I'm the Chairman of the Board.

I think Oban is as bored as I am.

Government bid processes are lightning fast.

[Yegolev]

You can always make a PivotChart in Excel.  I was almost ready to do that last week, and had even imported our server inventory via ODBC (which was almost fun learning to do), but the PivotTable wasn't really giving me anything useful.  That was about the time I went back to trying to write a C# program that will draw a card from a deck... well, one that will create a new instance of a Card object.  I got that part down but it has hardcoded values, so next I'll be trying to set up a collection of some sort and have unique Card instances.

I don't have any real work on the schedule until next weekend.

[rattran]

I'm trying very, very hard to not have to work this weekend. Calling in all my work favors, bribing people, etc.

Dunno why, the concept of working this weekend fills me with horror and loathing.

[Salamok]

You can always make a PivotChart in Excel.  I was almost ready to do that last week, and had even imported our server inventory via ODBC (which was almost fun learning to do), but the PivotTable wasn't really giving me anything useful.  That was about the time I went back to trying to write a C# program that will draw a card from a deck... well, one that will create a new instance of a Card object.  I got that part down but it has hardcoded values, so next I'll be trying to set up a collection of some sort and have unique Card instances.

I don't have any real work on the schedule until next weekend.

yeah I think I have only had 1 project where the data lined up nicely for pivot tables.  Nice tool but it is only useful for a limited type of data.

[Oban]

Also, why are there no two (or more) line DECT phones available?

[voodoolily]

I'm bored.  I'm the Chairman of the Board.

I think Oban is as bored as I am.

Get on Twitter! You can micro-blog your boredom. Digg Science and Digg Gaming keep me enthralled. So do updates from Henry Rollins.

[Ironwood]

That twitter stuff, I think, is the start of the end for civilisation.

There was a Penny-Arcade comic on it recently that summed it up for me...

[Yegolev]

I have spent a lot of time forcing myself to keep my mouth shut until I have accumulated enough important words.  Twitter seems like it would reverse that trend.  Then again, maybe everyone really does want to know about all the life elements that pass through my sensory zone... ... ....

One thing that does make a good PivotChart is vmstat output, but one of the infrastructure architects is already towing that rickshaw.

[schild]

Twitter is shit and doesn't keep a robust enough archive. I had a neat project planned for it, but it didn't work out since it seems to fall off either after a certain number of posts or 48 hours. Anyway, I did not like it. Also, people Just Aren't That Interesting.

[Yegolev]

Also, people Just Aren't That Interesting.

Yes.  It applied to blogs and I'm assuming it applies to twitter.  Also casual office conversation.

Autozone implies that 1993 Pathfinders do not have diodes.

[Ironwood]

You can always make a PivotChart in Excel.  I was almost ready to do that last week, and had even imported our server inventory via ODBC (which was almost fun learning to do), but the PivotTable wasn't really giving me anything useful.  That was about the time I went back to trying to write a C# program that will draw a card from a deck... well, one that will create a new instance of a Card object.  I got that part down but it has hardcoded values, so next I'll be trying to set up a collection of some sort and have unique Card instances.

I don't have any real work on the schedule until next weekend.

Ah, but I have left the things of youth behind.

These days I twiddle with SQL when bored.

But I'm in the danger zone right now of being Not That Bored Yet.

[Yegolev]

Did you just shake your cane at me?

[Sky]

Your Pets Will Not Be Flagged For Removal By Jesus During the Rapture

Date: 2008-06-19, 3:59PM CDT


FLAGGERS: Over half the United States population has legitimate concerns about what will happen to their pets after the rapture occurs. Please respect their faith and allow this service to remain posted, just as the waste removal and grooming posts remain posted. Again, over half of the US population feels that this is a concern to them. If there is a specific problem with the ad, please email me. Thank you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No one knows when that day or hour will come. Even the angels in heaven and the Son don't know. Only the Father knows."
(Matthew 24:36)

"For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord."
(1 Thessalonians 4:15–17)


Have you ever thought about what will happen to your pets after Jesus comes back to claim the souls of the saved during the Rapture and deliver them to heaven to enjoy ever lasting life? The bible clearly teaches that only those that have accepted Jesus as their savior will enter heaven (John 14:6, Romans 3:23), and we all know that pets do not have the cognitive ability to do this, so what will happen to your beloved pets? Surely without you there, they would be stuck inside your empty house, starving to death with no one to feed them, let them out to potty, or clean their litter box. This is probably not what you envision for your pets after you are gone. This is where I come in.

I am here to offer you pet care service for after the rapture. As an atheist, I will surely still be here on this earth post rapture and would love to look after your pets for a small fee and make sure they are still well taken care of after you and your family have been raptured. You will be able to look down on them from heaven and see them being well cared for by me and living happy, healthy lives. Do not let my atheism scare you! I am a moral and loving pet owner and would never do harm to any animal.

For a small deposit of only $50, you can be assured that your pets will be well cared for from the time that you are raptured until the end of their natural life. They will get adequate amounts of food, water, and shelter as well as plenty of exercise and socialization as I would imagine there will be a lot of pets that will be abandoned by Jesus the pet hater that will need to be cared for.

If interested, please email me for my PayPal address (you can also send me a check if you prefer) so you can assure that your pets will be taken care of after Jesus comes to take your soul to heaven. $50 is only a small price to pay to know that while you are enjoying everlasting bliss, your pets will be cared for until their end days. Thanks and have a great day!

Please do not flag this ad. It is very serious.

[WayAbvPar]

OK, I have to ask.

Who is the fuckhead who decided it was a good idea to use food scents in restroom air fresheners? Nothing better than the delicious aroma of cinnamon-coated shit.

[Salamok]

OK, I have to ask.

Who is the fuckhead who decided it was a good idea to use food scents in restroom air fresheners? Nothing better than the delicious aroma of cinnamon-coated shit.

Rather that then the overly powerful floral scents that the guys at my work seem to think works best when sprayed to the point of becoming a thick fog. 

Personally I just prefer the smell of yer plain old garden variety lysol at least it seems to suppress the smell of ass the best.

[Sky]

I've worked on a farm, the smell of shit doesn't bug me much. You get used to it quick enough.

The smell of chemicals laid over the smell of shit to try and mask it, or scented oils that stick in my sinuses for hours, bringing along some shit particles for the ride? Fuck all you sprayers.

[WayAbvPar]

Ours isn't even a spray- it is piped in from somewhere by the building management.

On a totally unrelated note- I dropped a glass of water on the floor of the breakroom. I stood there and looked at it for a moment, then started giggling. I spend too much time on the Internet.

[Signe]

I don't think it has any thing to do with the internet.  I think you're just a lunatic!

[Salamok]

Fuck all you sprayers.

I sort of agree with this, when I spray it is the lysol in the bowl technique as opposed to spraying every cubic inch of the walls floor & ceiling that some people think works. 

[Signe]

So there was a leak in the hot water heater and it made the rug wet at the bottom of the steps and the fucking carpet guy was supposed to come out today but he never showed up and I keep forgetting about the wet bit and stepping in it and it's driving me fucking crazy Fucking people say they're coming out and don't and I'd like to kill them and feed them to my cats!

[Cyrrex]

So there was a leak in the hot water heater and it made the rug wet at the bottom of the steps and the fucking carpet guy was supposed to come out today but he never showed up and I keep forgetting about the wet bit and stepping in it and it's driving me fucking crazy Fucking people say they're coming out and don't and I'd like to kill them and feed them to my cats!

Remind me never to install your cable.

[Engels]

So there was a leak in the hot water heater and it made the rug wet at the bottom of the steps and the fucking carpet guy was supposed to come out today but he never showed up and I keep forgetting about the wet bit and stepping in it and it's driving me fucking crazy Fucking people say they're coming out and don't and I'd like to kill them and feed them to my cats!

[Miasma]

Jesus tapdancing Christ opening Olympic ceremonies.  Good luck following that London.

I don't know whether to be in awe or terrified of China right now.