Useless Conversation

[ghost]

Well clearly you're a heartless pig. 

[Lantyssa]

You didn't put salt on them, so what's the problem?

Or was it that you forgot the chicken?

[Samwise]

Which was a silly challenge on her part, because I went to two grocery stores before finding the nuts and returning victorious.

I'm betting it was the endzone dance that got you in trouble.

[RhyssaFireheart]

Okay, I'm female and I think what she did was silly.  Hell, I can't even remember on a regular basis if we buy salted or unsalted butter in bulk (Costco FTW!) and figure it really doesn't matter in the long run.

[Merusk]

Let me guess.. you agreed not to get anything, then did so you're in trouble because she feels bad for not getting you something?

No, I got that one out of the way years ago.  She will never again say to not get her anything.  I swear after 13 years she should know better.

There is more to it, obviously, but I'm not sure I have grasped all of it.  One part is how she sent me to the grocery store on the 13th and I bought the wrong sort of chicken, and got lightly salted peanuts instead of unsalted (everyone knows you don't use salted peanuts in recipes!).  I then went out to get the correct chicken and to look for unsalted peanuts on the challenge of not being able to do it in under thirty minutes.  Which was a silly challenge on her part, because I went to two grocery stores before finding the nuts and returning victorious.

Let's see who can spot the problem here.

You proved her wrong and/or got the wrong brand of peanuts.  (Meijer carries unsalted as does Kroger)

Or you got unsalted roasted peanuts instead of raw. (Cue: You're going to be cooking them you don't need roasted! )

[ghost]

Well, the wife is pregnant again.  I guess that's what I get for running my yap about getting snipped.   

We're really goddamned fertile for 40 year old people.

[Samwise]

Mazeltov!

[Merusk]

 

Enjoy!

And condolences!

[ghost]

We will have (hopefully only) 3 in 6 years now.....  At least one is out of diapers now

[MuffinMan]

[Paelos]

This thread delivers...

Children!

[Lantyssa]

And you said Valentine's Day wasn't exciting...

[ghost]

And you said Valentine's Day wasn't exciting...

This obviously had to happen quite a while before V-day.   

I just hope it's not twins.     Or more.   

[Sjofn]

And you said Valentine's Day wasn't exciting...

I said to my mother that I wanted to call my sister to congratulate her (she had emailed the siblings with the news, she's apparently been exhausted, PREGNANCY IS TIRING WHO KNEW) but it was Valentine's Day and I didn't want to interupt their ROMANCE TIME or whatever and my mother said, "She's already knocked up, what could you be interupting?"

My mother is weird.

But yes! The best part about my sister having a baby is the "hooray my parents will have a grandchild, PRESSURE IS OFF." I'm sure my parents would like us to have a kid (and I know Ingmar's parents DEFINITELY want us to have a kid), but I'm pretty sure at this point they're just glad that one of their four (four!) children have given babymaking a shot at last. Their friends all had kids earlier than they did, and THEIR kids all had kids earlier than I even got married (and I was the first one to do that, way back in 2003 omg), so I think they were getting just a TAD impatient.

[Bunk]

But yes! The best part about my sister having a baby is the "hooray my parents will have a grandchild, PRESSURE IS OFF." I'm sure my parents would like us to have a kid (and I know Ingmar's parents DEFINITELY want us to have a kid), but I'm pretty sure at this point they're just glad that one of their four (four!) children have given babymaking a shot at last. Their friends all had kids earlier than they did, and THEIR kids all had kids earlier than I even got married (and I was the first one to do that, way back in 2003 omg), so I think they were getting just a TAD impatient.

I can say from experience that yes, the sibling generating a grandchild is very effective for appeasing the Mom. Mom's way to busy with my two nephews now to worry about what I'm (not) doing with my love life.

[Ironwood]

As far as I can tell, when one has a child, the mother loses interest and moves on to bug the next in line about grandkids.

Which is particularly fucking annoying if you're actually looking for support and NOW she can't be bothered to interfere in your life.

Bitch.

[Lantyssa]

Those with siblings should be happy.  My mom was not happy when I informed her that the only grandkids she was getting were "of the furry variety" (cats and dogs before you say it).

This obviously had to happen quite a while before V-day.   

I know, but you were getting teased about it anyways.

[Nebu]

I'm just amazed that people have parents that are involved in their lives.  My daughter is 18 and I think my mother came to visit her 2 or 3 times in her life. 

[Rasix]

My mom got that out of the way the first week.  My parents and my wife's parents are very involved in our lives and their grandchild's.  In-laws are local and parents are 90 minutes away. 

It's nice, we both like and get along well with our parents.  Plus, grandma watches my son and will until he's ready for preschool. 

[Paelos]

I'm just amazed that people have parents that are involved in their lives.  My daughter is 18 and I think my mother came to visit her 2 or 3 times in her life. 

Wait, what? She's seen he twice in 18 years?

[ghost]

I'm just amazed that people have parents that are involved in their lives.  My daughter is 18 and I think my mother came to visit her 2 or 3 times in her life. 

My wife's parents live about half a mile away and see our kids (1 and 3) multiple times per week.  We have a family dinner every week on Wednesday at their house and usually see them at least one other time per week.  My parents still live in Kentucky.  They've only been down once and we've only been up once, all in the past year.  The lack of interaction there is mostly my doing because my parents are fucking crazy people and used to be fairly violent.  

[Bunk]

My relationship with my maternal Grandmother was like that, but she lived 6300 km away my entire life. I saw her in person twice I believe, but we corresponded when I was a kid. My paternal Grandparents on the other hand are both now dead but I still have the key to their old house on my keychain.

I'm certainly not those most touchy feely guy in the world, and I've admittedly distanced myself from my extended relatives, but I really can't imagine not being directly involved with one's immediate family.

Lantyssa - explain to her that its clearly her fault, she just needs to produce another offspring to generate grandkids from.

[ghost]

If anyone is feeling infertile I can bottle some of the air from my house and ship it to you.  Apparently my wife and I can't be in the same zip code without getting pregnant.

[Salamok]

I'm just amazed that people have parents that are involved in their lives.  My daughter is 18 and I think my mother came to visit her 2 or 3 times in her life. 

here! here!  I've been married for 11 years now and our daughter is 6, neither of us has ever met or spoken with my wife's parents.  We speak with my folks about once every other week and visit them about 3 times a year.  All in all I am pretty happy with this arrangement, but sometimes I feel a bit guilty for my daughter's sake.

[ghost]

Why should you feel guilty about that?  You probably have very good reasons for not being in touch with your/her parents.  The kids don't know any better, really, and if you provide a good home life it shouldn't matter.

[RhyssaFireheart]

I was lucky that all three of my brothers had spawned offspring before the issue of the husband and I not having kids ever came up.  So mom is fine with having a grand-furkid (whom she threatens to steal away with on a regular basis so she can spoil him with treats) while the MiL still occasionally makes comments about us not having had kids (husband's brother has 2 girls).  I feel like beating her about the head and shoulders and asking what part of "couldn't have kids and ultimately had a complete hysterectomy" don't you understand?  Then again, this is the woman that implied my reproductive issues were somehow related to my weight.  

Anyways, congrats on the new arrival!  Better you than me!  

[Sky]

Let's see who can spot the problem here.

This is why I don't complain about stopping off at the grocery store on the way home from work every night. I shudder to think what kind of wrong things my non-cooking fiancee would bring home.

[Nebu]

Wait, what? She's seen he twice in 18 years?

No, she's come to visit twice in 18 years.  I take my daughter to see her because it's the only way it will ever happen.  My mother is a crazy cat-lady hermit. 

[Khaldun]

One thing I'm learning at work this year is that lots of people you have had generalized affection for, folks who seem like good eggs and skilled at their work, can be enormous assholes-in-hiding the moment that they aren't getting everything their own way. I've definitely recalibrated my yardstick for "good person": a good person is someone who stays that way when the chips are down, who plays fair and is generous of spirit even when they're not happy with some decision.

[Paelos]

Wait, what? She's seen he twice in 18 years?

No, she's come to visit twice in 18 years.  I take my daughter to see her because it's the only way it will ever happen.  My mother is a crazy cat-lady hermit. 

Ok that's different. And not as horrifying.

[Paelos]

I'm just amazed that people have parents that are involved in their lives.  My daughter is 18 and I think my mother came to visit her 2 or 3 times in her life. 

here! here!  I've been married for 11 years now and our daughter is 6, neither of us has ever met or spoken with my wife's parents.  We speak with my folks about once every other week and visit them about 3 times a year.  All in all I am pretty happy with this arrangement, but sometimes I feel a bit guilty for my daughter's sake.

I'm going to guess religious differences?

[ghost]

One thing I'm learning at work this year is that lots of people you have had generalized affection for, folks who seem like good eggs and skilled at their work, can be enormous assholes-in-hiding the moment that they aren't getting everything their own way. I've definitely recalibrated my yardstick for "good person": a good person is someone who stays that way when the chips are down, who plays fair and is generous of spirit even when they're not happy with some decision.

You've just described 99.999% of the population.  Most people are selfish assholes when pressed, and that is largely a biological feature of how we work.  The whole fight/flight thing is always lurking beneath the surface. 

[IainC]

I have had very little contact with my family since I was about fifteen. I've seen my dad twice in the last ten years (both times when he turned up unannounced on my doorstep) and my mother 3 times. I've recently got back in touch with my sister's family but I have little to no time for my parents.

[Salamok]

I'm going to guess religious differences?

Only if crazy is a religion. When he was 8 her dad's family was split up and sent off to Nazi work camps, so he has some fictional overly idealized vision of what family is combined with a very strict code of conduct enforced with unwavering zeal.  According to her the dad in Shine is pretty much the watered down version of her dad.

edit: On a side note it is kind of interesting to watch her body language and facial expressions when she is watching movies like Shine or the White Ribbon, sort of like a movie outside of the movie.

[ghost]

I have had very little contact with my family since I was about fifteen. I've seen my dad twice in the last ten years (both times when he turned up unannounced on my doorstep) and my mother 3 times. I've recently got back in touch with my sister's family but I have little to no time for my parents.

That's pretty depressing.  Life is much tougher without that family support, or with shitty family support.  Sorry man.