Useless Conversation

[Paelos]

Yes, that's the 2011 Mazda Molesta

[ghost]

Does it come with spinners?

[HaemishM]

Since we've moved to a neighborhood in the city and out of the suburbs, we expected to get more trick or treaters. Boy, did we. In the entire almost 13 years we've lived together, we got a combined total of maybe 20 kids. We got at least 30 last night, of all types. My wife was very happy. My dogs were very barky, but they slept like rocks last night.

[Ironwood]

No.  They are, however, going to hit them with enough force, even at 30mph, to shatter bones and rend skin, to pulp brain tissue and crack teeth.  Organs may rupture and the asphalt itself may get stained red with the life giving fluid of your child.

Which is why I don't think about it and don't fear it.

If you live your life by the worst thing that could happen, it'll be a self fulfilling prophecy because nothing will happen to your child save a lonely death.

I live in Scotland.  The amount of ways my child could die a death cannot be counted.  I will not, and I refuse to with every fibre of my being, live my life in fear of that.  Nor will I make her do so.

If you're seriously sitting there not introducing them to the community you live in because of the rapists and murderers in every house, well, shit.  I don't know what to say.

[Ironwood]

Yes, that's the 2011 Mazda Molesta

The Renault Megane has tons of child room in the boot.

[Sky]

It's easier to understand if you realize ghost's true identity:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/175309/louie-dental-banana

[ghost]

No.  They are, however, going to hit them with enough force, even at 30mph, to shatter bones and rend skin, to pulp brain tissue and crack teeth.  Organs may rupture and the asphalt itself may get stained red with the life giving fluid of your child.

Which is why I don't think about it and don't fear it.

If you live your life by the worst thing that could happen, it'll be a self fulfilling prophecy because nothing will happen to your child save a lonely death.

I live in Scotland.  The amount of ways my child could die a death cannot be counted.  I will not, and I refuse to with every fibre of my being, live my life in fear of that.  Nor will I make her do so.

If you're seriously sitting there not introducing them to the community you live in because of the rapists and murderers in every house, well, shit.  I don't know what to say.

Sure you think about the issues with cars because you don't let your kid run around in the street like an idiot. 

We took our child trick or treating this year.  I'm not saying that the possibility of child predators necessarily makes me keep my kids at home, but I can understand why a parent might be concerned and keep their child at home.  I wouldn't castigate them for it at all, i.e. I understand their thought process.  The possibility of child predators being around certainly would influence where I took my child to trick or treat and I would never let them do so alone.  Therefore it is a concern.  I'm not worried about poison or razor blades though. 

[murdoc]

Whatever happened with kids trick&treating, going door to door (with an adult etc)?  Out here it's all bring the kids to the mall and the office where they get candy.   Looks very weird. Is this just a US thing? 

We got over 140 kids last night. I live in a small bedroom community outside of Calgary and it's FULL of young families. It was pretty nice here last night and there was a ton of people out. One thing I hadn't seen before was a bunch of houses had those portalble firepits set up in the driveway and were basically sitting at a campfire handing out candy. Most places that were doing that had something set up for the parents (coffee and baileys mostly). It was easily the most social halloween I've ever seen.

[ghost]

It's easier to understand if you realize ghost's true identity:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/175309/louie-dental-banana

That's it exactly.  

My dad was a dentist, too, and the guy he initially was partnered with used to massage the tits of some of his patients when they were under nitrous.  My dad found out and got the fuck out of there ASAP.  There are some very, very weird dentists around.  

[Bunk]

Having been one of those children who grew up with his mother in constant fear of her child being abducted (we lived about three miles from Clifford Olsen), I can say it really is not good for childhood social development.

Teach your kids to be smart and safe. You don't send an eight year old walking three miles through the woods to Gramma's house at 8:00 at night. Otherwise, Ironwood has it dead on - live your life. Living in fear of it just isn't worth it.

Also, knowing your neighbours makes it far more likely that they are going to watch out for your kids as well. It's weird, I've realized that in today's technology age I know people from all over the world, yet I know hardly anyone that lives in my own building.

[Ironwood]

Sure you think about the issues with cars because you don't let your kid run around in the street like an idiot. 

And this is where my analogy breaks down a little and it's my own damn fault;  You can teach your kid about road safety and you can teach your kid not to talk to strangers.  Both are very valid things that SHOULD be hammered into children from an early age and have been.

What you can't, and shouldn't, do is stop them from living once you've taught them of the dangers.  Are kids still going to be killed in the street ?  The statistics say yes*.  Are they MORE likely to be raped and murdered by the Looney gang ?  The Statistics say no, but it's wise to point out the dangers.  The idea, which you posited, that you should minimize community involvement and live in fear of your own neighbours because of that is utter lunacy that I will not subscribe to.  I live in a street full of kids.  As someone said, I watch out for theirs and hope they watch out for mine.  We're all very aware of strangers and are a stronger community because of it.  If you're the chap that's sitting as a shut in, hell, maybe people won't even notice you have a kid.  And they'll certainly not know that the older chap who's stuffing her into the van ISN'T YOU.

That's all.  I think you chaps over there live in way too much fear.  Way too much.



  *And, on that note, I watched young Abigail dash out in front of a car, nearly ending her life and IMMEDIATELY turned to Elena as a lesson in what you SHOULD NEVER EVER FUCKING DO.  It worked.

[Engels]

As a rule of thumb, yes, Americans live in a constant stream of fear mongering from the media. The paramount ethos of the US is to be 'safe'. It fuels all sorts of histrionics, such as the latest fear that vaccines will cause downs syndrome. More importantly, however, it causes isolation and socially malformed adult.

[ghost]

You're right about the fear thing.  You can blame Fox news, most likely.   I think Bunk hit on part of the issue well-  with all this technology we don't even know who lives around us.  My street is fully of people that I know nothing about.  We take walks almost every day with the boys yet we never see any of them.  It's a nice neighborhood but the people just aren't friendly.  That's why we went to my sister-in-laws neighborhood to trick or treat.  We know almost everyone over there.  We would like to move, but it's not a great time to try and sell a house.  

[Ironwood]

Ain't that the fucking truth.

Neighbour popped round last night to trick or treat.  She admitted that one of the houses two up invited her in for cocktails and she was pished.

That's what I'm talking about.

 

[Murgos]

It's particularly worrying because crime is actually at an all time low in the US and has been dropping steadily for decades.  Fear mongering though would have us all believe that every time we walk through the park we should be carrying a glock in one hand and a can of mace in the other.

[Ironwood]

Halloween bothers me much less than Bonfire night.  Then I actually have a valid concern since fucking neds are wandering around chucking fireworks like the cunts that they are.  Usually two days before and two days after.

Seriously.  It's Scotland. 

[Rasix]

We've done Halloween at my in-laws the last 2 years.  It's a smallish community with a fair amount of houses lining a single road loop.  Since my son's only a few months over 2, he really doesn't get it still, but he had fun seeing other children in costumes and getting candy (he likes the packaging, he doesn't eat it).  Lots of nice people in the area and there's always a lot of parents out.  Car traffic is very minimal.  They get over a hundred kids a year usually, as I guess the neighborhood design encourages people to bus their kids in.

After we were done, he had fun helping hand out candy and spend maybe 30 minutes to an hour just taking his candy out of his bucket, lining it all up, and then putting it back into the bucket.  Amazing display of toddler ocd.

2 years ago, we carted him around my sister's neighborhood in suburban Chandler.  That place was like a giant outdoor party. Must have been around 300+ kids roaming the street.  Parents everywhere socializing.  Lots of decorations and just a mountain of candy being handed out.

We've had a lot of fun with my son these past 3 Halloweens.  Seems to be alive and well here at least.  Definitely lower volume on a Monday, however, as there were events all over the town on the weekend.

[Engels]

Ghost, I don't think moving to your sister in law's is going to help much. The problem is pretty pandemic, and its not simply the fear culture. Americans are individualists, with both the good and bad that engenders. It allows for some pretty creative free thinking and originality, but also is the source of our self-centeredness and xenophobia.

Sure, small town america's great, what with everyone waving as they pass each other on the road, but I strongly suspect that that's somewhat skin deep.

The issue is more about personal space. Americans are huggy as crap, but that's where it ends. The sense of personal space around them is far greater than in packed European or Asian countries.

Its a combination of the huge space we have compared to the 'old world' and the ethos of 'from your own boot straps'. Actually having to pull yourself up out of poverty without assistance of the state creates a being that is extremely distrusting and cagey.

The best metaphor I can come up with is that we're a society of tigers, not pack animals like lions and wolves.

Oh, and Ironwood, I grew up in Spain, with not one, but 4 bonfire nights per year. St John, St. Paul, St. James and St Cuthbert the Handless. I threw more M80s at passing vehicles in my teens than most Palestinians throw rocks.

[ghost]

It's particularly worrying because crime is actually at an all time low in the US and has been dropping steadily for decades.  Fear mongering though would have us all believe that every time we walk through the park we should be carrying a glock in one hand and a can of mace in the other.

I always carry my Glock.  

Things are different in the US than it was when we were kids.  I think you do understate the possibility of violence for certain areas.  Inner city/lower income neighborhoods, particularly where I live (San Antonio) can be extremely violent, particularly at night.  I wouldn't stroll around in those areas nor would I let my kids.  

Another big difference is the road systems.  When I was a kid we lived in the country and you might see a car every half an hour.  I rode my bike and skateboard all over the place and never thought twice about it.  Now there are probably 5 times as many cars around in that town.  I could never let my kids do things that I did simply because the road systems (as Ironwood pointed out) can be very dangerous if not approached correctly.  

Ghost, I don't think moving to your sister in law's is going to help much. The problem is pretty pandemic, and its not simply the fear culture. Americans are individualists, with both the good and bad that engenders. It allows for some pretty creative free thinking and originality, but also is the source of our self-centeredness and xenophobia.

Actually, her street is an anomaly.  They had a block party last night for Halloween and almost everyone showed up.  It's really pretty nice and it would help.  Picking a place to live can be difficult.

[Merusk]

Oh yes, inner-city streets are terrible.  I wouldn't go anywhere near them ever they're just not safe these days. All those killings and muggings and violence.  Not the like good old days of the 1900s when such things never happened.  Oh wait.. they did.  Well the 1800's? jack the who?   1700's?  Oh fuck it.. maybe walking around cities at night is just a bad idea in general and not specific to any time period.  MAYBE if I'm raised to fear everything I'll see it as "society degrading" instead of "Oh some people have always been fucks I just have to learn to be careful and learn what is and isn't risky instead of listening to an industry determined to keep me titillated, tantalized and fearful. "

Our willingness to say "Yes, but x bad thing could happen" gave us the Patriot Act, warrantless wiretaps and concealed carry in 49/50 states.  I'm all for a little more bravery and a little less simpering cowardice as a nation.

[ghost]

Alright man, I'll let you hang out in Covington or Newport at night.   

You people are so serious.

[Minvaren]

It's particularly worrying because crime is actually at an all time low in the US and has been dropping steadily for decades.  Fear mongering though would have us all believe that every time we walk through the park we should be carrying a glock in one hand and a can of mace in the other.

I always carry my Glock.  

"This bicuspid is simply not responding to treatment.  Nurse, Glock."   

[Ingmar]

Things are different in the US than it was when we were kids.  

Just not true. Even the "things used to be better" sentiment isn't different. 

[ghost]

Things are different in the US than it was when we were kids.  

Just not true. Even the "things used to be better" sentiment isn't different. 

Sure things have changed.  That's a very myopic view. 

[tazelbain]

Its the aging process people naturally idolize the past.

[Paelos]

Things are different in the US than it was when we were kids.  

Just not true. Even the "things used to be better" sentiment isn't different. 

Sure things have changed.  That's a very myopic view. 

Nah, people are just more aware due to the flow of information, but they are unable to calculate the odds because American citizens have a god-given right to ignore math.

[Murgos]

I always carry my Glock.  

Things are different in the US than it was when we were kids.  I think you do understate the possibility of violence for certain areas.  Inner city/lower income neighborhoods, particularly where I live (San Antonio) can be extremely violent, particularly at night.  I wouldn't stroll around in those areas nor would I let my kids.  

I'm not understating anything go read the FBI statistics.  Violent crime in is ~40% lower than what it was only 20 years ago, including inner city areas.  If you're not black, male and between 17-29 it's much lower.  If you're not in the rural south it's even lower (40% of all violent crime is in the southern states).  Some crime rates, such as rape, aggravated assault and burglary is actually lower in Metropolitan areas than it is in suburbs.

http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2010/crime-in-the-u.s.-2010/index-page

[ghost]

Well, this is certainly getting political fast  .

Once the links start flying I think we're heading to the cesspit.  

[Merusk]

Alright man, I'll let you hang out in Covington or Newport at night.   

You people are so serious.

I do, it's fine.  I've even gone into *gasp* Over-the-Rhine.

Are there some streets I won't go down? Yes.  That's not new between now and when the first cities cropped up over 5,000 years ago.

[ghost]

Okay okay okay.  I give up.  I'm going to take my kids down to Zarzamora street tonight at midnight and let them run around in the street.  It's sooooo safe.   

[Mrbloodworth]

Yay for charging to overhead "Because the CEO/owner said so". 

[Polysorbate80]

You get used to it.  My canyon freaked me out at first, too.  Then it became a fun game.  "Hey, roomie who can see what they're doing!  Could you put this entire bottle of gauze strips into my abdominal cavity?  Thanks!"  Try torturing the hubby with it.

Had to do that for ages after the wife's first c-section, she wouldn't sit down and be still long enough for it to heal.  New mom jitters, I guess.  She was more relaxed second time around--it healed quicker, even though the operation was apparently quite a bit more involved.  She had a lot of scar tissue left over from the first go-round that the docs worked on removing.

[Xanthippe]

Halloween is a very big deal in my town.  Thousands of people go downtown.  Crowds in past years have been as high as 20,000; this year estimated about 15,000 (this is in a 6x2 block area).

We probably got 120 -140 trters last night.  Could have been more, they came in groups of 6-8 (People come to our neighborhood to bring their kids - there were cars parked all over.)  The little ones started about 6:30 and we turned the lights out at 9.

When I was a kid, you trted in your own neighborhood, maybe 2 blocks.  This driving to a place to let the kids trt is just weird to me.

Son decided last year he was done with trting (he's 15 now).  Daughter (turning 13 this week) went out with a friend (alone) to trt for a half hour or so.

I hate Halloween and I'm really glad it's over.

[RhyssaFireheart]

The opening in my incision isn't too large (maybe an inch?) and according to my mom before she headed back home, it's healing nicely from the inside out.  Well, all righty then!

Husband is already helping out by putting the gauze pad on in the mornings after I get cleaned up.  The spot is in an awkward position for a fat chick to see, so it's just easier if someone else puts the pad on and tapes it down instead of me trying to contort and do it myself.

In other news, the husband has decided to try out Weight Watchers online for himself to see about losing weight.  He's recently run into a few other men he knows who've lost large amounts of weight (and one guy he could barely recognize, he'd changed so much) and it's gotten him into the "I can do this too" mindset, which I'm all for.  I've lost about 15 pounds myself just from the surgery, so trying to keep it up would be a good thing, IMO.  If he's on the let's eat better bandwagon, I'm really hoping it goes well for us.

Oh, Halloween.  We had no trick-or-treaters and that's fine with us.  We would be big bags of candy in anticipation and get maybe 1 kid and not even that more recently, so we just stopped.

[Murgos]

Well, this is certainly getting political fast  .

Once the links start flying I think we're heading to the cesspit.  

Yeah, facts are political.