HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42665
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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WayAbvPar
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You should just beat yourself in the beans with a tack hammer for a couple of hours instead. At least you save on the rental fee.
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When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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Morfiend
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6009
wants a greif tittle
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Rental? Its in theaters.
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19299
sentient yeast infection
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I considered seeing this just to find out HOW bad it could be. Now I don't have to. Yaaaay!
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TheTijuanaBrass
Terracotta Army
Posts: 24
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Uwe Boll, cinema's response to ebola. Ugly, messy, and you really don't want to be near anything that's produced by him.
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WayAbvPar
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Rental? Its in theaters.
So make it a straight jacket rental fee to keep you from harming yourself and others in the theatre. :-D
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When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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I can't feel for you on this one, I just can't.
You paid good money to see Bloodrayne - a movie so insipidly stupid that my brain rebelled just reading the first paragraph of your summary - in the theater. Not only that but you stayed for the whole thing. If pain's your thing, just buy Poptart a lash and get yourself a gimp mask, man.
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The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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just buy Poptart a lash and get yourself a gimp mask, man. flugemhemhimler.
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Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542
The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid
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I couldn't find screencaps in the internet.
I did, however, see that some retards are getting hot and bothered by the plasma on Lokan's face in that one scene. Ugh.
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Fear the Backstab! "Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion "Hell is other people." -Sartre
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Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 32117
I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.
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These bizarro swords, by the way, look quite fetching in the video game, but in real life are about as awkward as being caught masturbating by your mother in your teen years. Yeah...by twenty it wasn't awkward at all any more. "Hey mom...can you bring me a tissue?"
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42665
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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You paid good money to see Bloodrayne Don't assume things you know you shouldn't.
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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You paid good money to see Bloodrayne Don't assume things you know you shouldn't. Which is why Haemish hasn't really suffered enough. He doesn't know true suffering and until he does these reviews of his aren't tortured enough art.
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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You paid good money to see Bloodrayne Don't assume things you know you shouldn't. You're in a bad mood today. I retract my joke!
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The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42665
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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It's Tuesday. I never could get the hang of Tuesdays.
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Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542
The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid
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Maybe this is Haemish's new spin on monasticism or something, where rather than praying on our behalf and sparing us the suffering, he instead views very bad movies.
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Fear the Backstab! "Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion "Hell is other people." -Sartre
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19299
sentient yeast infection
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I suddenly have a mental image of Haemish strapped to a chair in a movie theater screaming out "DEO GRATIAS!" after every scene.
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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Wow, that just saved me some money. Thanks!
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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You actually went to the theater to suffer for us? Wowsers. You are even better than a hero. You are Comfy Chair.
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602
Rrava roves you rong time
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I was looking at other reviews posted, and I found this sentence in a review that was... I guess positive. He said it's good brainless theater fun, but Uwe Boll still sucks. Anyways. This sentence just really, really pissed me off: the perfect video game to film adaptation, complete with level bosses and magical power-ups.
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That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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God, I could use some magical power-ups. Unfortunately, my magical power-up guy isn't answering his phone.
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542
The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid
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I guess that means the 900-numbers must be packed today...odd.
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Fear the Backstab! "Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion "Hell is other people." -Sartre
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Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602
Rrava roves you rong time
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I guess that means the 900-numbers must be packed today...odd.
I think she was talking about marijuana. Call me crazy.
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That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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I guess that means the 900-numbers must be packed today...odd.
I think she was talking about marijuana. Call me crazy. It's not funny if you just come out and say it like that.
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Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075
Error 404: Title not found.
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I guess that means the 900-numbers must be packed today...odd.
I think she was talking about marijuana. Call me crazy. It's not funny if you just come out and say it like that. Yeah it's only funny if you're alluding to something that sounds funny and you come right out and say it. Like nipples.
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CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
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Cheddar
I like pink
Posts: 4987
Noob Sauce
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No Nerf, but I put a link to this very thread and I said that you all can guarantee for my purity. I even mentioned your case, and see if they can take a look at your lawn from a Michigan perspective.
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Lt.Dan
Terracotta Army
Posts: 758
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Now, correct me if I'm wrong, I thought only running water or holy water caused this effect in vampires
ZOMGzors what if superman was a vampire could a lightsaber hurt him?
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Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 32117
I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.
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We watched the early sequence of House of the Dead where they rent the boat to take them to the island. That's some atrocious shit there, I love making my girl squirm watching it, but after a couple minutes of that gorton's fisherman character sliding from accent to accent with the frequency of a cheap ham radio, even I have to change the station. So abysmal I can't believe anyone ever let that Boll guy work again.
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Big Gulp
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3275
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So abysmal I can't believe anyone ever let that Boll guy work again.
He's probably made money with every movie he's made. That's really all there is to it. You make money, you get to keep working. That's sort of why I make fun of the whole, "Conservative actors don't get work in Hollywood!" bullshit. If you bring in the bank you'll find work in Hollywood. Even if they have you on tape raping nuns and drinking the blood of infants, as long as you make money you'll still get a table at Spago.
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Margalis
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12335
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Conservative actors don't get work in hollywood though. Especially Mel Gibson. What does that guy have to do to get a gig?
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vampirehipi23: I would enjoy a book written by a monkey and turned into a movie rather than this.
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Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075
Error 404: Title not found.
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Conservative actors don't get work in hollywood though. Especially Mel Gibson. What does that guy have to do to get a gig?
I'd state the answer, but it's blasphemous.
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CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
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squirrel
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It's Tuesday. I never could get the hang of Tuesdays.
See wednesdays are the suck for me. Hell between you, me and Arthur we could pretty much cripple a whole week! EDIT: fucking graduate degree and i still can't write a single sentence that gets 's vs. s right.
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« Last Edit: January 31, 2006, 01:44:09 AM by squirrel »
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Speaking of marketing, we're out of milk.
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