What a big baby.

[Shockeye]

Baby Man
At 54, William Windsor sleeps in a crib, eats in a high chair and does it in his diaper -- by choice. Believe it

By Joe Watson

Published: Thursday, June 9, 2005



It's late on a warm Thursday night in April, and William Windsor heads to the checkout stand at the Fry's supermarket at 20th Street and Highland Avenue, in central Phoenix.

Customers and cashiers stare at the 5-foot-11, 180-pound man, who is dressed in a pink bonnet, pink shorty dress, and white patent leather shoes. Gold heart-shaped earrings twinkle beneath his carefully curled hair. Under his dress, you can see his diaper. He takes his place in line with a carry-all basket full of juice and Gerber baby food.

"Oh shit! It's Baby Man," says one cashier, a Hispanic kid who's heard the legend but has never been a witness to the spectacle. "It's like Sasquatch!" he says. "You don't believe it exists until you see it."

And even then, you're likely to think Baby Man is the star of a hidden-camera TV show, a singing telegram, or maybe on his way to a costume party. But Windsor is for real. This is no spoof.

The customers waiting in line behind Windsor -- a 54-year-old semi-retired singer and actor, and "full-time adult baby/diaper lover" (AB/DL) -- are giggling, then grimacing. But Windsor seems oblivious.

When offered a business card and asked for an interview, Windsor doesn't bother to remove the pacifier he's sucking on before responding.

"Oh, cool," he says from the side of his mouth.

He promises he'll call the next day to answer the biggest question of all:

Why?

And then he gets into his Buick sedan -- personalized license plate: "DIAPER1" -- and drives home to his east Phoenix apartment where he'll play with stuffed animals, eat in his high chair, and maybe play on the Internet, searching for friends.

Then he'll wash his messy nappies before putting himself down for the night in a custom-made crib big enough for a baby his size.

William Windsor, who answers to at least a half-dozen nicknames -- Will, Willie, Bill, Billie, and to the name of his alter ego, HeidiLynn -- does not call the next day, or the day after that.

On the third day, he uses the Internet, which he's only discovered in the past year.

"For lack of a more suitable sobriquet," he writes in an e-mail, "'Baby' is the name most people in my neighborhood know me by. I have other nicks I go by on the Internet, of course, but 'Baby' is the one that seems to have the legs around here."

He goes on to write that addressing "every avenue of 'the why?'" would be laborious, and asks for a more specific angle. He includes his phone number.

You walk around in baby-girl clothes and a diaper, sucking on a pacifier. That's the angle.

"Okay, fair enough," he says from his cell.

Is there someplace we could meet to talk? Do you drink?

"Yeah, I drink beer."

Well, is there a bar you frequent, a place you feel comfortable?

"I don't really go to bars, but there's a place right down the street from my apartment called Bogie's," he says. "Let's meet there at about 6 tomorrow night.

"I'll show up a little early, to make sure it's okay for me to be there."

See you then.

In the meantime, a Google search for the terms "infantilism," "adult baby" and "diaper lover" returns dozens of sites and personal Web pages, including first-person tales, academic papers and links to small businesses that sell everything a big baby needs, confirming that "AB/DLs" like Windsor -- well, not quite like Windsor -- are no joke.

Men, the majority of the "AB/DL" community by at least 9-to-1 according to sites like dpf.com (the Diaper Pail Friends network) and infantilism.org, are known to organize "diaper lover" parties in New York and L.A., where they dance around in diapers and make small talk about their day jobs. In late July, the second annual "Adult Baby Camp" gets under way at a campground in Alberta, Canada, where a few dozen outdoorsy babies are expected to show, and fish the remote Wildhay River in nothing more than a cloth nappy.

Infantilism has become so mainstream, so to speak, that even the hit CBS series CSI: Miami featured it in an episode in February.

But still, it's not every day you see an adult baby wandering the aisles of your local Fry's.

There's 8 more pages of it. Go to the Phoenix New Times site to read it. Or not.

And for what it's worth, there wasn't a CSI: Miami episode dealing with something like this, it was a regular CSI episode titled "King Baby".

[Strazos]

I'm just wondering why he wears pink instead of blue...

Oh yeah, and where does he get his money from?

[Shockeye]

I'm just wondering why he wears pink instead of blue...

Oh yeah, and where does he get his money from?

RTFA.

[schild]

ATFQ.

[Shockeye]

ATFQ.

ESAD.

[schild]

ATFQ.

ESAD.

YMSFWSSATHSRSATH.

[Strazos]

I wish I could pretend to breastfeed from Carmen Electra or Jenna Jameson, too.

[Shockeye]

I wish I could pretend to breastfeed from Carmen Electra or Jenna Jameson, too.

You wouldn't have to pretend from Jenna Jameson.

[Merusk]

My take on it is: it's been covered by CSI already, if you're just hearing about this stuff you're behind the times.


I'm still waiting for a CSI that covers golden showers and the like.  However, I know that'll never make it past the censors.  The furry episode was bad enough.  Maybe Real Dolls and men who want to have sex with cars..

People are just weird, weird, weird animals.

[Samwise]

People are just weird, weird, weird animals.

I'm sure other animals do all sorts of pervy stuff too.  They'd probably do more if they had opposable thumbs.

[Shockeye]

People are just weird, weird, weird animals.

I'm sure other animals do all sorts of pervy stuff too.  They'd probably do more if they had opposable thumbs.

Dolphins are already using the Sponge.

[Pococurante]

It's not all fun and games for lower life forms.  Crustaceans have serious crabs.

[voodoolily]

Dolphins are already using the Sponge.

snicker.

Savage Love has been talking about all this shit forever. And there was already a furry episode of that terrible Charlie's Angels knockoff that has the hot chick from Species (Natasha Henstridge?).

BORING!

[Shockeye]

Savage Love has been talking about all this shit forever.

You're bucking to get your title changed to "GGG", aren't you?

[schild]

Santorum.

[voodoolily]

I like my current title! Please don't make me a freak (more than normal)! I'm already a pretty GGG girlfriend. It's easy when your boyfriend isn't a sick, twisted fuck. 

[Shockeye]

It's easy when your boyfriend isn't a sick, twisted fuck.

But not as interesting.

[voodoolily]

Hey, you don't know!

[schild]

That's not even remotely interesting.

But I'm not going to be the one that sends this thread to the den.

[voodoolily]

Why do you want to den everything I post in today, schildy?  Did someone get rusty cornflakes for dinner?

[schild]

I don't want to Den this thread. I just wasn't going to be the one that went down that road.

Do I really need a reason to want to den something with a tampax string hanging out?

[voodoolily]

Do I really need a reason to want to den something with a tampax string hanging out?

heh. touche.

I still think you're on the path to being an Old Man Grumpus. Now you're just Young Man Grumpus.

[schild]

Grumpus isn't a word.

Grumpy is one thing I'm not. I don't tolerate bad taste. Dirty little cork strings are bad taste.

[voodoolily]

I don't tolerate bad taste.

Come again? Stella!

Grumpus is Groeningism which I did not invent. It's from the Love is Hell 12 Kinds of Couples or something. I googledit, but it was fruitless.

[Miasma]

Do I really need a reason to want to den something with a tampax string hanging out?

heh. touche.

I still think you're on the path to being an Old Man Grumpus. Now you're just Young Man Grumpus.

Tampons can be classy:

A chandelier made of tampons, entitled 'The Bride' and created by Portuguese artist Joana Vasconcelos, hangs at the arts Biennale in Venice June 9, 2005. The arts festival is open to the public from June 12 - November 6. REUTERS/Chris Helgren

[voodoolily]

Old Man Grumpus, according to my research, is one of the 9 Types of Boyfriends from Love is Hell. And you call yourself a pop culture junkie.

Wouldn't it be funny if they had that chandelier hanging above a pool and it fell in and all the swimmers were absorbed.

[Shockeye]

Old Man Grumpus, according to my research, is one of the 9 Types of Boyfriends from Love is Hell. And you call yourself a pop culture junkie.

Love is Hell never crossed over to popular culture.

[voodoolily]

But I thought everyone read the old Akbar and Jeff stuff and all that. The Big Book of Hell (where I saw it) can be bought at fucking Borders, or Quality PAperback CLub. Oh, well.

[Shockeye]

But I thought everyone read the old Akbar and Jeff stuff and all that. The Big Book of Hell (where I saw it) can be bought at fucking Borders, or Quality PAperback CLub. Oh, well.

So can the Satanic Bible, doesn't mean everyone is buying it though.

[voodoolily]

Oh, bah. Let's not nitpick. Can I not rely on a bunch of nerds to recognize a Groening reference? Where the hell am I?

[schild]

Everyone knows what you were talking about.

Your references are nowhere near as obscure as you think they are.  :-D

Edit: Shockeye's right btw. Groenings comics, particularly Love is Hell, never crossed over. I still think I have my first edition back at home in the attic though.

[voodoolily]

Then why did you give me shit about Old Man Grumpus? NEvermind. I know my references aren't obscure, I'm just surprised by the reactions they get sometimes. I forget that everyone doesn't have my sense of humor. However, if I said something like how systematists are homewreckers for trying to split the Scrophulariaceae, no one would think that's funny.   
I'm just a different kinda nerd, s'all. In my profession, I may as well be on MTV for as much as I know about pop culture.

[Shockeye]

In my profession, I may as well be on MTV for as much as I know about pop culture.

Think of all the new wonderful new words you could teach to America's youth.

[schild]

Finnuh, munnuh, & muhfuh will be hits with the......ya know, I'm not going there. Again.

[Merusk]

Am I the only one who gets the feeling that Voodoo only posts when her meds start to wear off?