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Topic: Lawyer Social Question: Judgeship (Read 6058 times)
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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One of our dear family friends is having his ceremony for being granted a judgeship in Virginia. I'd like to get him something nice but am unsure of what would be good for a judge. I'd get him a Mont Blanc or something but he gave me a pen for my college graduation a while back and I'm sure he's floating in them from being a partner at a law firm.
Any suggestions would be fantastic.
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CmdrSlack
Contributor
Posts: 4390
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You could just get him something that reflects his interests/likes as a random item for his chambers. Probably would be better to give something personalized as opposed to a "gift for a judge."
Also, I got nothing on the "gift for a judge" category. I just know that if I was a judge, I'd want a dartboard for my chambers.
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I traded in my fun blog for several legal blogs. Or, "blawgs," as the cutesy attorney blawgosphere likes to call 'em.
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WayAbvPar
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Does he have any hobbies? If he is a golfer,for instance, there are tons of things your could get him, and nearly everything is personalizeable (is that even a word?) for the right price.
Or just be safe and buy him a spendy bottle of wine or spirits. Listening to lawyers natter on all day would drive anyone to drink.
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When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19324
sentient yeast infection
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I second the motion for alcohol.
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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I'm a champion gift-giver, so you should listen to me on this.
I know it sounds dorky, but I've always thought bookends are a lovely gift. The bookends are nice because they visually balance a space, thus being appropo with the whole blindfolded justice holding the scales and whatnot. You can get nice ones at antique stores or sometimes at old used book stores.
Or you could get him an antique balance (symbolic, and interesting to look at). I personally love old medical/scientific instruments, so I'd be stoked to receive an old scale.
When he opens his gift, and you see him get all misty and say, "wow. schild, man, you know me. You KNOW me", you'll thank me.
Edit: Oh! I just had a stroke of genius. Those old balances usually have a small drawer at the bottom in which you store your weights. You could fill it with cigars or a small bottle of hooch, as a surprise.
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« Last Edit: April 04, 2005, 12:33:51 PM by voodoolily »
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ClydeJr
Terracotta Army
Posts: 474
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I just know that if I was a judge, I'd want a dartboard for my chambers.
It would be great if you could get a custom dartboard that had different sections labelled "Guilty", "Not Guilty", "Off on a technicality", "Guilty by way of insanity", etc. Or maybe one that says "Small Fine", "Large Fine", "1-12 Months", "1-10 Years", "10-50 years", "Life", "Ol' Sparky".
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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Fargull
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Get him season one of Night Court. Priceless I tell you. Priceless.
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"I have come to believe that a great teacher is a great artist and that there are as few as there are any other great artists. Teaching might even be the greatest of the arts since the medium is the human mind and spirit." John Steinbeck
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Abagadro
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12227
Possibly the only user with more posts in the Den than PC/Console Gaming.
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Get him a miniature guillotine.
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"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
-H.L. Mencken
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Murgos
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7474
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A box of depends for those long days on the bench?
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"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
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Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542
The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid
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A stunrifle to put down those annoying lawyers? 
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Fear the Backstab! "Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion "Hell is other people." -Sartre
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Nazrat
Terracotta Army
Posts: 380
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Don't get him something with the scales on it. That is what everyone gives lawyers when they don't have anything else.
I'd go for desk accessory from his alma mater or maybe personalized stationary.
You know him. What would he want as a gift on any day? Leave the judge stuff out as the stuffy types will fill that niche.
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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Don't get him something with the scales on it. That is what everyone gives lawyers when they don't have anything else.
I'd go for desk accessory from his alma mater or maybe personalized stationary.
You know him. What would he want as a gift on any day? Leave the judge stuff out as the stuffy types will fill that niche.
OMG-Don't listen to him. Desk accessory? Gimme a fucking break. Why don't you just give him a goddamned gift certificate to Office fucking Depot? Get the balance (or the bookends). It's classy. It's timeless. It says, "It's not just any day, it's the most important day of your life, next to the day you get married or your baby is born". Honor that. Remember, I'm the champion. Trust me.
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Fabricated
Moderator
Posts: 8978
~Living the Dream~
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My mother works for a judge here in the local government. One year the office got him a huge engraved gavel with his name on it.
He has been quoted as saying, "Don't make me use the big gavel," when people come in and get pissy about their hearing dates and the like.
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"The world is populated in the main by people who should not exist." - George Bernard Shaw
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Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542
The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid
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OMG-Don't listen to him. Desk accessory? Gimme a fucking break. Why don't you just give him a goddamned gift certificate to Office fucking Depot?
Get the balance (or the bookends). It's classy. It's timeless. It says, "It's not just any day, it's the most important day of your life, next to the day you get married or your baby is born". Honor that.
Remember, I'm the champion. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure I would slap someone if they got me some bookends, that's just silly. 
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Fear the Backstab! "Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion "Hell is other people." -Sartre
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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The giant gavel idea is neat.
I mean it would have to be an epic gavel. The hammer's head would need to weigh about 20 lbs. It would sit on top of a mantle or something. I'd want it to be feared. And I'd probably cry when I gave it away.
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Nazrat
Terracotta Army
Posts: 380
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OMG-Don't listen to him. Desk accessory? Gimme a fucking break. Why don't you just give him a goddamned gift certificate to Office fucking Depot?
Get the balance (or the bookends). It's classy. It's timeless. It says, "It's not just any day, it's the most important day of your life, next to the day you get married or your baby is born". Honor that.
Remember, I'm the champion. Trust me.
Voodoolily, do you have any idea how many people give the scales of justice to lawyers? I have been given the tie with the scales, the scale cufflinks, the scale bookends, etc. Don't be a cliche, schild. You know the guy. Get him something that he actually likes rather than something out of "Gifts for Lawyers."
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« Last Edit: April 04, 2005, 06:14:17 PM by Nazrat »
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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I was just hoping for the (MANY) laywers on f13 to say some of the cooler gifts they got. I think Voodoolily was being slightly tongue in cheeks with her comments.
On another note, I don't like the scales, whether they're a good or bad gift. Largely irrelevant.
Along with the gavel, a miniature guillotine and box of depends my definately be in order. Along with that I was thinking of getting him a box of tarot cards and having it be filled with nothing but "The Executioner."
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Nazrat
Terracotta Army
Posts: 380
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Actually, a guillioutine that trims cigars would be very nice. Multi-function and all of that.
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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Actually, a guillioutine that trims cigars would be very nice. Multi-function and all of that. Yea, I've got a hefty collection of cigars (about 600 at last count), and I've already got just over a full box's worth to give to him. A nice lighter (Cartier or Dunhill) and a decent cutter might be a good choice as well. Edit: I guess I just have to decide whether to go gag or serious. Or a combination of both. A combination is the obvious choice and I'd like them to be complimentary. If possible. Maybe I can get him a box of watermelons with the giant gavel. Everyone loves Gallagher, right?
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Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075
Error 404: Title not found.
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Get him a framed movie poster for "My Cousin Vinny"
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CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
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Pococurante
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2060
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Must be - gag gifts have gotten scant attention. 
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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He's not a serious person, but the judgeship is a well-deserved rest from his being a partner in a decent sized firm in Virginia. We (as in all his friends) have been waiting for this to happen for a while. So I'm just looking for something nice. As I said before, I asked the lawyers here because odds are they've given gifts to such people.
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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OMG-Don't listen to him. Desk accessory? Gimme a fucking break. Why don't you just give him a goddamned gift certificate to Office fucking Depot?
Get the balance (or the bookends). It's classy. It's timeless. It says, "It's not just any day, it's the most important day of your life, next to the day you get married or your baby is born". Honor that.
Remember, I'm the champion. Trust me.
Voodoolily, do you have any idea how many people give the scales of justice to lawyers? I have been given the tie with the scales, the scale cufflinks, the scale bookends, etc. Don't be a cliche, schild. You know the guy. Get him something that he actually likes rather than something out of "Gifts for Lawyers." I didn't say give him some bullshit with scales on it, I said give him an actual balance, mouth-breather. And he's not a lawyer any more, he's a judge.
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Nazrat
Terracotta Army
Posts: 380
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Mouthbreather. Wow, you sure know how to make friends.
I am typing this slowly so that you can understand that the scales are a cliche that are given to most lawyers and/or judges. Yes, the actual scales are given as gifts. You are not the champ if you give the scales. You are person #1001 in this year that thought of getting that gift for someone associated with the law.
Sorry to burst your gift giving, cliche filled bubble.
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350
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I will have no pissing fights in my gift giving thread. Leave it at the door (to the politics forum).
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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Sorry, schild.
I'm sure whatever you give him will be fine, as long as it's from the heart. And for the record, I think an antique balance with a little stash drawer is still a kickass gift, if perhaps not for a lawyer (or judge).
Sorry about the mouth-breather comment, Nazrat. I was just feeling fiesty. Don't take me too seriously.
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Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075
Error 404: Title not found.
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Get him a statue of justice. The one with the knockers showing. Or a front license plate that says, "HERE COME THE JUDGE"!
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CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
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Litigator
Terracotta Army
Posts: 187
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Get him a framed copy of the 10 commandments to hang in his courtroom....
I can't believe none of the other lawyers came up with that one first.
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« Last Edit: April 09, 2005, 06:08:05 PM by Litigator »
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