$400 WiFi-enabled 4-ton-force juicer's $120 million fail

[Tale]

In the late 1990s, venture capitalists and investors pumped $35 million into a dotcom called Pixelon that claimed to have perfected video streaming technology (which was then new).

It spent $16 million of that on a product launch called iBASH '99 hosted by David Spade and Cindy Margolis at the MGM Grand Las Vegas, featuring Chely Wright, LeAnn Rimes, Faith Hill, Dixie Chicks, Sugar Ray, Natalie Cole, KISS, Tony Bennett, The Brian Setzer Orchestra, and a reunion of The Who.

Pixelon's stream of the event failed to work on its own software. A few people managed to access it via Microsoft streaming software. Because Pixelon did not actually have a working product. Its CEO Michael Fenne turned out to be a convicted conman called David Kim Stanley. People who visited the company reported that he summoned staff to prayer meetings over an intercom with "This is the Master speaking..." and signed emails as Big Giant Head of Pixelon.

Are we back there yet? Because that's when the crash happened.

[Trippy]

$35 million is peanuts compared to the $724 million that Theranos raised.

[Abagadro]

Those are the top end numbers, but as the article notes there was a reverse 250-1 split on the stock. Which means that they took 250 of every stock and replaced it with 1 (in order to keep it from being delisted by NASDAQ). So the actual price jump was 132 dollars to .02 cents

Not exactly. Price wasn't 132 dollars and then went down. It posted a quarterly $132 dollar per share loss.

The 250-1 reverse split happened 3 weeks ago to bring the share price up to $21 per share. That newly minted share, which used to be $21 dollars and replaced 250 previous shares, is now worth 5 cents.

[Paelos]

In the late 1990s, venture capitalists and investors pumped $35 million into a dotcom called Pixelon that claimed to have perfected video streaming technology (which was then new).

It spent $16 million of that on a product launch called iBASH '99 hosted by David Spade and Cindy Margolis at the MGM Grand Las Vegas, featuring Chely Wright, LeAnn Rimes, Faith Hill, Dixie Chicks, Sugar Ray, Natalie Cole, KISS, Tony Bennett, The Brian Setzer Orchestra, and a reunion of The Who.

Pixelon's stream of the event failed to work on its own software. A few people managed to access it via Microsoft streaming software. Because Pixelon did not actually have a working product. Its CEO Michael Fenne turned out to be a convicted conman called David Kim Stanley. People who visited the company reported that he summoned staff to prayer meetings over an intercom with "This is the Master speaking..." and signed emails as Big Giant Head of Pixelon.

Are we back there yet? Because that's when the crash happened.

Yes, we're very close to the crash. All my friends and compatriots have abandoned the market completely and we're holding the money in cash and/or real estate holdings with rental incomes.

EDIT: I've said before, I'll be SHOCKED if it's not in 2019. I'm seeing full-money stupidity at massive levels. The banks are investing in horrible real estate deals. Stuff is half-sold or half-rented and they just keep building more and more for the elite, and next to nothing for the middle or lower classes. It'll implode because there's not going to be enough growth to handle it, and China's economy along with several other controlled economies is a complete sham. Not to mention most businesses are sucking up cheap money to cover hundreds of sins.

[HaemishM]

The commercial real estate market in my town is cruising for a crash. They've continued to build swanky new digs when there are TONS of empty office spaces in slightly less desired areas (like downtown where I work) and even with the new spaces, those are at best half-full.

[NowhereMan]

Woohoo! Looking at global economic crash and Brexit both for next year.

I'm off to start hoarding whiskey because I can't afford gold right now.

[Hawkbit]

The commercial real estate market in my town is cruising for a crash. They've continued to build swanky new digs when there are TONS of empty office spaces in slightly less desired areas (like downtown where I work) and even with the new spaces, those are at best half-full.

Even Seattle's market is cooling. Last month was the first month in five years my property value did not increase. As we put the screws to China on tariffs their currency values dropped, so they can't buy as much and they have cooled on buying property. We expected things to plateau here soon, but we didn't expect the Chinese to stop purchasing like they did.

[schild]

Haemish lives in Mississippi.
You live in Seattle.

These places have different issues, but tell you what, THEY ARE NOT ALIKE.

[Mandella]

In the late 1990s, venture capitalists and investors pumped $35 million into a dotcom called Pixelon that claimed to have perfected video streaming technology (which was then new).

It spent $16 million of that on a product launch called iBASH '99 hosted by David Spade and Cindy Margolis at the MGM Grand Las Vegas, featuring Chely Wright, LeAnn Rimes, Faith Hill, Dixie Chicks, Sugar Ray, Natalie Cole, KISS, Tony Bennett, The Brian Setzer Orchestra, and a reunion of The Who.

Pixelon's stream of the event failed to work on its own software. A few people managed to access it via Microsoft streaming software. Because Pixelon did not actually have a working product. Its CEO Michael Fenne turned out to be a convicted conman called David Kim Stanley. People who visited the company reported that he summoned staff to prayer meetings over an intercom with "This is the Master speaking..." and signed emails as Big Giant Head of Pixelon.

Are we back there yet? Because that's when the crash happened.

Yes, we're very close to the crash. All my friends and compatriots have abandoned the market completely and we're holding the money in cash and/or real estate holdings with rental incomes.

Yep.

[Teleku]

Woohoo! Looking at global economic crash and Brexit both for next year.

I'm off to start hoarding whiskey because I can't afford gold right now.

Well, with the rate at which single malt has been climbing year after year because of global demand increase (and you can't just suddenly start producing more 15 year scotch), that actually might not be a bad investment.

[HaemishM]

Haemish lives in Mississippi.
You live in Seattle.

These places have different issues, but tell you what, THEY ARE NOT ALIKE.

Yeah, it'll be much fucking worse when the shit goes tits up here. Outside investment from the Chinese isn't really a thing here. This is all local developers pissing away the money they borrowed from their dumbass local bank buddies at the yacht club.

[Hawkbit]

I didn't mean to imply they are the same at all, apologies. Seattle has been very insulated economically for at least 30 years. We took a bath on trying to sell our Ohio house in 2014 after trying to be distance landlords. During the 2008 crash Seattle housing prices at worst plateaued and we might get away with only a plateau or minor dip as crash 2.0 begins here soon.

[Trippy]

Woohoo! Looking at global economic crash and Brexit both for next year.

I'm off to start hoarding whiskey because I can't afford gold right now.

High-end Japanese whisky is where it's at if you want to speculate (and can find it).

Well, with the rate at which single malt has been climbing year after year because of global demand increase (and you can't just suddenly start producing more 15 year scotch), that actually might not be a bad investment.

To deal with this situation more and more distillers are releasing "no-age statement" expressions to increase their volume while also keeping the prices in check.

[schild]

Buy art (good luck).

[Chimpy]

The commercial real estate market in my town is cruising for a crash. They've continued to build swanky new digs when there are TONS of empty office spaces in slightly less desired areas (like downtown where I work) and even with the new spaces, those are at best half-full.

Even Seattle's market is cooling. Last month was the first month in five years my property value did not increase. As we put the screws to China on tariffs their currency values dropped, so they can't buy as much and they have cooled on buying property. We expected things to plateau here soon, but we didn't expect the Chinese to stop purchasing like they did.

The tariffs are not most of why the Chinese are not buying as much property, tariffs have not been in effect long enough for that. Xi's "anti-corruption" campaign has been clamping down on people who spent the last 15 years using the money they made in China buying property/cars/etc. in the West. Mainly because most of them were supporters of his predecessors and did not owe their fortunes to him.

[Brolan]

My brother-in-law is an architect in Seattle and he said the real estate market has hit a wall there, with little new sales or related business.   

He predicts it will sweep the country. 

[Chimpy]

My brother-in-law is an architect in Seattle and he said the real estate market has hit a wall there, with little new sales or related business.   

He predicts it will sweep the country. 

There has been a glut of construction over the last 3-4 years that is almost all the type that isn't needed (mainly luxury stuff) all over the world.

[Teleku]

[rattran]

Driving across northern Illinois this week (on back roads, fuck paying tolls) Everything had for sale signs, and there were tons of McMansion developments.  Surprisingly, the same seemed to apply to southern Wisconsin. Collapse imminent.

[Khaldun]

Weirdly enough, one of the five tightest real estate markets in the country is Nebraska, but there's a bunch of local reasons for that rather than the sudden desire of most of the country to live there.

I think real estate is another of those things too big to fail, in some sense. A lot of the excess cash sloshing around global markets has been quietly dumped through holding companies into buying stuff left vacant in 2008, and I think some of that money is still out there looking to buy everything it can, simply as an investment hedge.

[calapine]

[MahrinSkel]

Welcome to the future. Dystopia to be patched in later.

-Dave

[MisterNoisy]

Was this at a Hungry Howie's?

[Rendakor]

Next up on the list of things that don't need internet connections, I present "aspara" a digital, in-home mini-garden for the low price of $350:

aspara™ is a hydroponic smart grower that helps you grow fresh and healthy-to-eat vegetables and herbs right on your kitchen countertop.

Using a combination of LED grow lights, an automatic watering system and advanced sensors, aspara™ is a connected control system for your indoor garden that does the growing for you.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1590005987/asparatm-the-smart-indoor-garden/rewards

[schild]

I don't see a problem with that but I'm certainly not buying anything connected directly from a Chinese manufacturer anymore.

[Sir T]

The Verge @verge

Mui’s internet-connected block of wood is a minimalist’s dream https://www.theverge.com/2019/1/6/18171454/mui-iot-block-of-wood-kickstarter-indiegogo-indemand-ces-2019-smart-home

https://twitter.com/verge/status/1082127401738518528

Because blocks of wood need the internet. And a power cord.

[calapine]

The cord ruins it, and I wouldn't put it against that dark red background. Otherwise I could see it as a neat digital watch that shows calender reminders or what not.

Except it probably costs a few hundred USD.

[Mandella]

Yeah that cord does ruin the effect. If I were installing that I'd make it to cover an outlet, or wire directly in. Then it does look pretty cool there hanging off the wall.

[Morat20]

Yeah that cord does ruin the effect. If I were installing that I'd make it to cover an outlet, or wire directly in. Then it does look pretty cool there hanging off the wall.

Yeah. I just don't get who would cheap out enough not to bother wiring in an outlet behind it. I mean it's not a 2k TV, but if you're gonna do minimal and go for that sort of rustic look, spend the 100 bucks to have someone put a panel in for god's sake.

[Khaldun]

But then it's basically just a one-of-a-kind art object, not a product for every smart home that needs a Kickstarter. As an art object made in very limited amounts that gets mounted carefully, sure, it makes sense. But then so might a really weird Internet-connected juicer that was intended to be a one-of-a-kind design object of the sort that eventually ends up in a museum display in MOMA as an example of the aesthetic of the early 21st Century.

[calapine]

This spoon and fork attach to your phone so you can look at it while eating


Video:, https://twitter.com/cheddar/status/1086234498520489984?s=19

Oh FFS. I hope this is a hoax.

[Polysorbate80]

I kinda hope it’s not only so I can see complaints about someone dropping their phone in their pho 

[Sir T]

I suddenly want to steal the patent on "Phone Safe Hummus."

[SurfD]

Kind of curious is you need to sign some kind of waiver to use that.  I mean, I guarantee you tonnes of people are going to completely fuck the USB / Lightning port on their phone up by applying just the wrong amount of pressure in the wrong direction on that thing.

[Sir T]

Huh???  

https://twitter.com/internetofshit/status/1087827008875347968

Internet of Shit
‏ @internetofshit

holy christ, people are hacking Nest internet-connected cameras and screaming things like fake missile warnings from the government https://www.mercurynews.com/2019/01/21/it-was-five-minutes-of-sheer-terror-hackers-infiltrate-east-bay-familys-nest-surv