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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  PC/Console Gaming  |  The f13 Radicalthon  |  Topic: Chern-R-Us, or As I walk through the valley of the shadow of zeds. 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: Chern-R-Us, or As I walk through the valley of the shadow of zeds.  (Read 16533 times)
Surlyboi
Terracotta Army
Posts: 9189

eat a bag of dicks


Reply #140 on: July 10, 2014, 09:46:16 PM

Day 45:

I think I'm in Vybor. It's been a while and I lost track, but I tend to float these days as the world has changed drastically since my last visit.

You can hunt and fish for food now; alleviating the need to head into towns almost completely, the occasional ammo, water and medical supply run notwithstanding. M4s don't pop in military bases anymore, so .556 is like hen's teeth. I've gotten really careful about what I shoot at, a lot of times choosing to go with the .45 instead of the rifle. This doesn't always work to my advantage, as I do tend to get lit up a little more than I would if I'm drawing down with the heavier artillery.

It's one of these incidences that gets me killed. At least partially.

I'm in the mini police station in Vybor when I aggro a zed. Zed makes a beeline toward me right through a wall and up a flight of stairs. I empty a mag of the .45 and then switch to the M4 as he doesn't seem to want to go down. I put a roomful of space between us and open up on him with the long arm. He's. Still. Alive. And. Hitting. Me.

From way the fuck across the room.

I go unconscious, then dead.

Fuck you Rocket.

Day 0:

After fucking around for a bit to get my bearings, I figure out I'm near Polana. Probably the furthest inland I've spawned in a while.

The first thing I see is a zed going apeshit. I think she's coming for me, but she heads away instead. I look back and see what she's going after. I figure the poor fucker will probably need some help. Her victim, it turns out, isn't a person but a deer. I use the distraction and skedaddle.

I ransack Polana and come up with a couple of cans of food that I can't open and a cool poncho. I also find a shovel and a pair of cargo pants. At least I can carry a bunch of shit. I hit up the well at the center of town and drink until I'm pretty much ready to piss and then head south for Elektro.

Rocket, if you're reading this and you make us have to drop the occasional deuce, I'm coming to Australia and crossbreeding a box jellyfish with a koala with the express intent of finding you and killing you. I don't know how I'll do it, but it's gonna fucking happen.

Anyway, I make it all the way down to Elektro and only run afoul of one zeke on the way. The shovel sucks as weapon and I'm happy to trade it for a fireman's axe as soon as I get to the power station. I also find a UN ballistic helmet and an M1911 with a box of ammo. No mag of course. I swing through the rest of the town and find a kid's backpack, (pink with yellow flowers) an SKS and a magazine for an FNX45. Useless with the 1911, but hey, hope that I'll find another one springs eternal. I ruin a screwdriver I found opening all the cans of food because I was nearly starving when I got to Elektro.

My hunger and thirst now taken care of and my immediate security concerns also handled, I head for Cherno and Balota.

I make it all the way to Cherno without incident and sweep through there looking for more gear. In the large police station there, I find a broken PU scope for the SKS. I try it on for size and it's completely useless for target acquisition in the condition it's in. The lens is broken and I can barely see through it. Iron sights it is. I hop through the center of town and score some more cans of food as well as that much sought-after can opener. In the fire station, I find a suppressed .22. That may come in handy for double-tapping a zed or two from behind without making too much noise. I clear out the supermarket and still fail to find a bigger pack. I guess my Fisher Price bag's gonna have to do for now.

I move quickly and quietly into Balota. I still manage to aggro a zeke the second I get through the gate. He bumrushes me and I waste a magazine of .22 trying to put him down. I manage only one thing that's even close to a headshot. Still not enough. He tags me as I'm breaking out the fire axe, but then it's one shot and he's done. Didn't even bleed me. Lucky lucky. I scoot into the prison and find a mountain pack. Achievement unlocked. I can be less picky about the stuff I grab. I find a pair of combat boots that aren't about to fall apart and a sewing kit to fix my threadbare clothes and an FNX45. So long M1911.

I ransack the rest of the base and find a bunch of promising shit, including a 75-round drum mag for an AK and a PSO scope for one as well. Kinda puzzled as to how well a scope like that would work on an AKM, but I can't wait to find out. That is, if I can find one. I vamoose out of Balota and head northwest. There's a small outpost somewhere south of Zelenogorsk. I'll try my luck there.

As I'm making my way toward the outpost, it starts to rain. Fuck me. I make a break for the shelter of a nearby deer blind. Thankfully, I make it before my clothes get wet enough to be a problem. I then wait 36. FUCKING. MINUTES. for the rain to stop.

Realism, bitches. Get it while it's hot so it can give you a cold and you can die of something other than zombie or douchebag violence.

I then spend the next 20 minutes running into and out of convenient shelters in the intermittent rain that continues to fuck with me. I make it into the outpost when I hear someone walking behind me, I figure I'm probably fucked if it's a player, but then I think he probably would've shot me if he had the weapons to do it. Axe fight it is. I spin around ready to drop the axe into this buster's skull when I realize it's just a zeke. My heart slows down and I drop him like a pair of granny panties at a Tom Jones show, then I continue sneaking into the outpost.

I run through the three barracks and the hospital. Lots of bags, a helmet I can't seem to grab, a collapsible AK stock, some ammo and a high-capacity vest. I keep the vest, the stock and the ammo and get the fuck out. I do find that the hospital now has multiple levels. Cool, but useless.

I figure I'll make my way up to Zelenogorsk and call it a night. The trip is relatively uneventful and when I get to the town, it looks like they've done a little renovation there too. At the southern end of the town are some military buildings and a propaganda billboard that looks like a Chernarussian soldier offering me a nice hot cup of shut the fuck up.

I get lucky in the first building I hit and find an AKM. I kit it out with the stock, the bigass drum and the PSO scope. Yeah, the scope's kinda useless for close-in engagements so I'll be saving that for when I know I'll be able to snipe shit, which will probably be significantly less time than when I'll be spraying and praying with this goddamn thing. On the upside, the scope can double as a monocular.

I finish going through the military spots, then find a house and hole up.

Next time, I'm going chopper hunting.

Tuned in, immediately get to watch cringey Ubisoft talking head offering her deepest sympathies to the families impacted by the Orlando shooting while flanked by a man in a giraffe suit and some sort of "horrifically garish neon costumes through the ages" exhibit or something.  We need to stop this fucking planet right now and sort some shit out. -Kail
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