I've been wrong all this time, Scientology makes perfect sense.

[Shockeye]

Body Thetans' Beware: Elfman is After You

United Press International

A former star of Dharma and Greg says she is on a crusade to rid the planet of aliens who inhabited Earth 75 million years ago after a nuclear explosion.



Jenna Elfman, a devout follower of Scientology, also told the religious group's magazine Celebrity that Hollywood suffered from suppression, MSNBC reported Tuesday.

"I intend to make Scientology as accessible to as many people as I can. And that is my goal," Elfman said.

"To do this," she says, "it is my duty to clear the planet." By clearing she means to rid the world of body thetans -- aliens who Scientologists believe inhabit the earth from a nuclear explosion 75 million years ago.

She continued "the more successful I became, the more suppression I bumped into ... especially in the entertainment industry, which really is home to rabid suppression."

[Paelos]

There are no words for the cataclysm that just took place in my brain.

[HaemishM]

Wow. I knew she was a flake, but holy fuck. And isn't it the position of the Church of Scientology that reprinting church documents is a sin or something?

[Paelos]

How is the entertainment world home to "massive suppression"? These people would sell their own organs for another season of exposure in the public eye. Perhaps they are using a fancy definition that means something else.

[HaemishM]

I imagine her definition of reality probably differs a great deal from your own, so suppression is a no-brainer.

[WayAbvPar]

That is one nutty broad. Opiate for the masses, anyone?

[Llava]

What an unlikely pair, a free spirit and a puppet. -Brian the dog regarding Dharma and Greg.

But looking at this story, I've come to a revelation: A person CAN, in fact, be both a free spirit and a puppet at the same time.

[schild]

Someone shoot her before she kills us all.

VIVA LA THETA!














Edit: What?

[Trippy]

How is the entertainment world home to "massive suppression"? These people would sell their own organs for another season of exposure in the public eye. Perhaps they are using a fancy definition that means something else.

I think she means massive suppression of her "religion" or "religious" views. On the other hand, Tom Cruise and John Travolta don't seem to be having any problems finding work.

[Signe]

Now I have agita.  Thanks, Shockeye.

[MrHat]

Could someone please explain this belief system to me?

All I know is a father of a friend of ours was filthy rich, but would give all his cash to the Church of Scientology.  Poor guy didn't see a dime.

[Trippy]

Could someone please explain this belief system to me?

All I know is a father of a friend of ours was filthy rich, but would give all his cash to the Church of Scientology.  Poor guy didn't see a dime.

It's kind of complicated. If you want to know the gory details there are plenty of Web site you can search for. Here's a super simplified description:

Scientologists believe that human beings and other creatures are just vessels for an immortal soul or "thetan". Thetans are what created the universe and everything in it. However thetans are vulnerable to all sorts of psychology problems (i.e. your typical human neurosis and psychosis) which rob them of their powers. They can also have these problems implanted in them through various nefarious means. The body of your thetan can also be "infected" with another thetan which means the primary thetan is in conflict with this other one and if that one is infected, well, that's bad news. There were a whole bunch of implanted thetans that were brought to Earth millions of years ago by the galactic overlord Xenu and are now infecting other bodies -- those are the body thetans Ms. Elfman is trying to get rid of.

If a thetan can get rid of all these problems and implants he/she/it can become omnipotent again. Now it just so happens that Scientology offers a way to do this -- unfortunately it'll cost you a lot of money. Basically there are a number of steps or ranks you can progress through (Operating Thetan or OT in Scientology-speak) with each step becoming more and more expensive where you need to purchase various training materials and spend time and money with Scientologist "auditors", basically Scientologist trained shrinks without medical licenses.

Edit: Fixed typo

[Shockeye]

Don't call them "shrinks". Scientology despises the mental health professionals of the world. They believe all psychiatrists and psychologists are a scam a sham.

I think that's ironical.

[schild]

Is it possible to feel stupider after you learn more about something?

[Margalis]

Goddamn I've been found out!

Honey, fire up the saucer, we're taking off!

Scientology is a really interesting phenomenon in all seriousness. It's obviously total horseshit and is somehow super-over-represented by the Hollywood community - their own strange designer religion. I suspect it's because it requires people that have the proper mix of money and vapidness.

I half-suspect it's just a stupid joke and someday all these Hollywood types are just going to out and say "holy shit, you guys really thought we believed that?" Here's hoping...

[MrHat]

Wow.

That's rich.

I think we should have an MMO set in the Scientology Multiverse!

[tar]

If you want to read up a bit on scientology, have a look at Operation Clambake. It's the 'anti-scientology' site.

[SirBruce]

I don't see how Scientology's beliefs are any more kooky than, say, Catholicism's.

However, since I've had a prior involvement with the CoS and was a secret source for one of their magazine articles, I'm potentially biased in their favor.

Bruce

[Nazrat]

Wow, 18 posts until it became about Bruce.  He must be having an off day.

[Jayce]

However, since I've had a prior involvement with the CoS and was a secret source for one of their magazine articles, I'm potentially biased in their favor.

Color me not at all surprised.

[SirBruce]

Once again, the thread wasn't "about me" until you decided to make a point of it.  Really, must you be so predictable?

My post was more of an attack on Catholicism than anything else.  Originally I didn't even include the disclaimer, but decided after the fact that I should, in case it came up in later conversation.  Dammned if I do and dammned if I don't, I suppose.

Bruce

[Methane]

Once again, the thread wasn't "about me" until you decided to make a point of it.  Really, must you be so predictable?

Actually, you did specifically mention your involvement with COS before you make a completely unsubstantiated comparison between drastically different systems of beliefs. I don't think your intent can be construed in any other manner other than to a) incite flames by the righteously indignant, and 2) stroke your ego as a subject expert.

But then again, I'm new. I've only seen you do it on every thread you've commented on. Maybe I'm just shooting in the dark.

Of course, I wait to be enlightened on actually firing weapons in the dark, perhaps at Scientologists, or Catholics, or a mixed pair that became lost in the woods and began mating in some twist of Darwinism.

[Jayce]

Once again, the thread wasn't "about me" until you decided to make a point of it.  Really, must you be so predictable?

My post was more of an attack on Catholicism than anything else.  Originally I didn't even include the disclaimer, but decided after the fact that I should, in case it came up in later conversation.  Dammned if I do and dammned if I don't, I suppose.

Bruce

Fine, then... answer this.

Why does Scientology require so much money to get into the later steps?  You can be dirt poor and still be a Catholic.  Matter of fact some of the most devout Catholic communities have no shoes and live in dirt-floor shacks in the third world.

Scientology strikes me as the religion of the rich and famous who want to be "unique".

[HaemishM]

Is it possible to feel stupider after you learn more about something?

I think that description of Scientology answers the question, but you have to pay 90% of your total net worth to find the answer.

[SirBruce]

Once again, the thread wasn't "about me" until you decided to make a point of it.  Really, must you be so predictable?

Actually, you did specifically mention your involvement with COS before you make a completely unsubstantiated comparison between drastically different systems of beliefs.

Wow, you really need to see someone about your reading comprehension problem.  It seems quite clear from the text that I mentioned my involvement *after* I made the so-called "completely ubsubstantiated comparison".  Furthermore, that still did not make the thread "about me".

I don't think your intent can be construed in any other manner other than to a) incite flames by the righteously indignant, and 2) stroke your ego as a subject expert.

Well, that's one of the eternal problems of mine: people constantly misconstrue my intent, because they always believe I have some hidden agenda.  I don't.  The post was meant to simply inform/remind people that Catholics believe a lot of crazy stuff too, which is also in turn a provocative thought to those who have not thoroughly considered it before.  It's to provide some illumination about religious tolerance.

But then again, I'm new. I've only seen you do it on every thread you've commented on. Maybe I'm just shooting in the dark.

Sounds to me like your preconceptions have coloured your evaluations.  For the near future, simply take whatever I post at face value, unless it's obviously a joke.  If you do that for a while, I think you'll eventually arrive at something a lot closer to the truth than your current opinion.

Bruce

[Signe]

Jebus... I'm no Bruce enthusiast but most people do form opinions based on personal experience.  Can't we just stop the Bruce bashing in nearly every thread he in which he posts?  It's becoming every bit as tedious as Bruce's SirBrucing.

Anyway... Scientology is a joke.  Literally.  Only Mr. Hubbard went insane and started believing his own silly witterings. Actually, it might have been pay back for his mostly mediocre science fiction writing.  If Harlan Ellison is to be believed...

"Man, I was there the night L. Ron Hubbard invented it, for Christ Sakes!...We were sitting around one night... who else was there? Alfred Bester, and Cyril Kornbluth, and Lester Del Rey, and Ron Hubbard, who was making a penny a word, and had been for years. And he said "This bullshit's got to stop!" He says, "I gotta get money." He says, "I want to get rich"."

  Of course, Mr. Ellison, himself, was rather fond of dissing his peers, spreading rumours and the odd cruel practical joke.  It might all be untrue, but I've read a bit about scientology and still think it's a joke... intentional or otherwise.


 LIving in the middle of the ocean was a nice touch, though... even I have to admit that.

[SirBruce]

Why does Scientology require so much money to get into the later steps?  You can be dirt poor and still be a Catholic.  Matter of fact some of the most devout Catholic communities have no shoes and live in dirt-floor shacks in the third world.

I don't know.  Why does Catholicism require so much "good works" to gain salvation, rather than faith alone?  You can have faith in Jesus and still be a Protestant even if you don't accomplish any good works.  Matter of fact some of the most devout Protestant communities do nothing good and survive on faith alone.

Bruce

[SirBruce]

If Harlan Ellison is to be believed...

Well, I trust Harlan.  At the risk of making the thread "about me" again, I actually know Harlan personally, and while he is an opinionated little prick, I respect him enough to say he usually does not make stuff up.  However, my point is merely this: so what?  Who is to say that Jesus Christ himself didn't have a similar conversation?  Heck, the Church of England was started by a guy who simply wanted a divorce and 100,000 pounds from the Church in royal payment, but that doesn't mean therefor that all Anglicans are a joke.  I mean, you're free to make fun of them like Eddie Izzard, just as people are free to make jokes about Catholics.  My point is it's quite unfair to look down on one preferentially over the other simply because they have unusual beliefs or questionable origins.

As a general rule of thumb, I am opposed to all organized religions.  However, I find it difficult to find fault with one over another unless they have some particularly heinous beliefs.  I recognize the value all religions provide to a society.

Bruce

[Shockeye]

The point is Christianity, for the most part, is a religion while Scientology is a cult.

And it doesn't suprise me that Bruce had any involvement with a cult.



Since it's no longer schild's birthday, I can remind him of this:

Jason Lee is a Scientologist.

[Kenrick]

God damn it, where's that exploding head .gif when you need it?

[MrHat]

Why does Scientology require so much money to get into the later steps?  You can be dirt poor and still be a Catholic.  Matter of fact some of the most devout Catholic communities have no shoes and live in dirt-floor shacks in the third world.

I don't know.  Why does Catholicism require so much "good works" to gain salvation, rather than faith alone?  You can have faith in Jesus and still be a Protestant even if you don't accomplish any good works.  Matter of fact some of the most devout Protestant communities do nothing good and survive on faith alone.

Bruce

I'm sorry, color me foreign, but isn't Protestant based on Catholicism?

See, I come from a place where there are 4 religions (3 really):  Islam, Roman Catholicism, Greek Orthodox, and Israel.

Edit: I understand your point about Catholicism being based on something that sounds just as fictional if read aloud by someone who believes.  But the difference is 1 billion people.

[Shockeye]

God damn it, where's that exploding head .gif when you need it?

[Methane]

I'm sorry, color me foreign, but isn't Protestant based on Catholicism?

See, I come from a place where there are 4 religions (3 really):  Islam, Roman Catholicism, Greek Orthodox, and Israel.

Protestant is basicaly those churches that split from the Catholic church. (Methodist, Baptist, Penticostal) They all believe in Christ, but Protestant's reject the authority of the Vatican.

[SirBruce]

I'm sorry, color me foreign, but isn't Protestant based on Catholicism?

See, I come from a place where there are 4 religions (3 really):  Islam, Roman Catholicism, Greek Orthodox, and Israel.

Why do you call it "Israel" rather than "Judaism"?

Anyway, yes, Protestants derive from Catholics.  So do Greek Orthodoxy.  So do Mormons.  And Catholics and Muslims both derive from Jews.

Bruce

[Shockeye]

One could argue that Catholocism developed from Orthodoxy.

And don't leave Lutherans out of the discussion. You'd be unwise to ignore the power of the pot luck.