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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Serious Business  |  Topic: Internet Dating: Everyone's still shallow 0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: Internet Dating: Everyone's still shallow  (Read 407360 times)
stray
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Reply #630 on: March 11, 2010, 11:24:33 PM

When I was young, saying you were an MIT grad/engineer would have got you the opposite of laid.  (whatever that is)

I guess he's under the impression that money/profession equals = getting laid. Which it can, but in my view that's the hard way, lying or not. It's a lot cheaper being good looking or fun or both. And by cheap, I don't necessarily mean the women. :P

Anywho, that guy's a liar in general, so none of us are friends with him anymore. That might say something too.. People who lie in dating are liars in general?
Merusk
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Reply #631 on: March 12, 2010, 03:42:25 AM

Sounds like it's not about the sex as much as it is about the lies.   He probably gets off on knowing the women have been lied to and think he's someone completely different.

The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
Slayerik
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Reply #632 on: March 12, 2010, 06:55:05 AM

In defense of the game, it doesn't have to involve lying. It involves trying to understand women and intrigue/attract them. Recently after my divorce I was seeing 3-7 women at the same time, and I was honest and they knew they weren't the only one. Strangely, the thing that I told them that seemed to attract them most was 'I'm not looking for a relationship right now.' I made a few rules, no back to back nights, no surprise visits, texts not calls, etc. These women ranged in age from 20-32.

My brother (who was also my roommate) said he had mad respect for my game, because they all knew they weren't the only one and accepted it. He is kind of the opposite of me, seems to push women into the friends zone, attract married women, and in general not really date at all. He is jaded from a bad relationship early on in his life and has never gotten past it.


Ok, so...I am actually writing a book about the last few years of my escapades. I don't just want to post it here, but I would like to have a couple people read what I have so far and critique me honestly. Most people enjoy it, but they are friends/family. I would like at least one man, and one woman. PM if you want to check it out and will read and give some feedback. Thanks

"I have more qualifications than Jesus and earn more than this whole board put together.  My ego is huge and my modesty non-existant." -Ironwood
stray
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Reply #633 on: March 12, 2010, 01:47:39 PM

That's not a game. You're just having fun, meeting women, and not getting in serious relationships. That's normal. Playing a game is spouting bullshit, and getting in relationships.. when all the so called player wants is the same thing you want. Yet goes about it in a douchebaggy way.

Lol, don't write a book! Unless it involves a Russian spy or vampires or your friends moms.
Slayerik
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Reply #634 on: March 12, 2010, 02:02:28 PM

Maybe in your circles it is, but I was amazing some of my friends at the quality and quantity of these women. Looking back, almost all were keepers in their own right.  It takes game to pull off.

Screw you, my book is gonna kick ass. :)

"I have more qualifications than Jesus and earn more than this whole board put together.  My ego is huge and my modesty non-existant." -Ironwood
schild
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Reply #635 on: March 12, 2010, 02:14:58 PM

Quote
Screw you, my book is gonna kick ass. :)

Ok.
stray
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Reply #636 on: March 12, 2010, 03:00:19 PM

Maybe in your circles it is, but I was amazing some of my friends at the quality and quantity of these women. Looking back, almost all were keepers in their own right.  It takes game to pull off.

Screw you, my book is gonna kick ass. :)

How about nuns? If you have a convent story, then write the book. In my view, no manwhore should write a book unless he has rivaled Casanova.


My circles aren't all that exciting. Lots of "reformed" people who are in, I guess, good relationships. Heh. It's funny though, without these friends, I'd probably be way more emo about relationships. They themselves, happy as they are, talk me out of it when I start looking for something serious. They've got an exaggerated view of what single life for me can potentialy be like, but they're probably right all the same.
Slyfeind
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Reply #637 on: March 12, 2010, 03:04:15 PM

I don't know anybody who regrets bullshitting just to get laid. But then, people who are up-front tend to have much better sex.

"Role playing in an MMO is more like an open orchestra with no conductor, anyone of any skill level can walk in at any time, and everyone brings their own instrument and plays whatever song they want.  Then toss PvP into the mix and things REALLY get ugly!" -Count Nerfedalot
Azazel
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Reply #638 on: March 20, 2010, 07:35:26 AM

I guess he's under the impression that money/profession equals = getting laid. Which it can, but in my view that's the hard way, lying or not. It's a lot cheaper being good looking or fun or both.

Don't take this the wrong way, but you're a young guy and from what I understand don't have the money/profession part down at this point, so you're forced to (work at) be "fun and good looking". Both of which are subjective.
Anyway, my point is that money/profession also have some other uses in life, so "hard way" or not, it'll be more useful in the long run of life than just being a "good looking", fun, chronically unemployed dude.


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Grimwell
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Reply #639 on: March 20, 2010, 08:24:59 AM

Further, you can not be good looking for your entire life. At some point everyone gets old and wrinkled.

Fun and money/profession can hold up until the day you die.

Grimwell
schild
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Reply #640 on: March 20, 2010, 09:19:21 AM

I can see why he'd be actively gung-ho about this stuff if he had, let's say, an unexciting time in high school.
Trippy
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Reply #641 on: March 24, 2010, 01:50:27 PM

You got dates from Facebook?  How?  Joining different groups and stuff?  If that works, it sounds a lot easier than joining a dating service.  Probably less expensive, too.  And you'd automatically know you have at least one thing in common with the person if you meet them through some sort of common interest group.
Old high school friends (and even people who I wasn't friends with).  Hell, one of my acquaintances from high school is married to another local tattoo artist, and she LOVES to play match maker.  Gotten at least 3 dates from her alone.
I tell you, Facebook is the happy hunting ground of dating.  Just be friendly and breezy, stay somewhat active on it, and dates will fall into your lap.  At least they have for me...
Michigan Facebook pimps UNITE!

Facebook is awesome for dating.
Facebook 'linked to rise in syphilis'

Signe
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Reply #642 on: March 24, 2010, 03:02:06 PM

I couldn't help it.  I had to laugh!

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NowhereMan
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Reply #643 on: March 24, 2010, 03:19:14 PM

I was just relieved I don't log in to Facebook very often.

"Look at my car. Do you think that was bought with the earnest love of geeks?" - HaemishM
Signe
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Reply #644 on: March 24, 2010, 03:24:10 PM

Yes, I don't blame you.  I'm a wee bit worried about my little games, now.  Although the only person left from here who plays the same ones I do is Samwise so I'll know who infected me!  

Edited for a comma that seemed to come out of nowhere.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2010, 07:56:19 PM by Signe »

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NowhereMan
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Reply #645 on: March 24, 2010, 06:55:45 PM

I recently got a friend invitation from my mother. I don't know know what to think on so many levels, damn you internets!

"Look at my car. Do you think that was bought with the earnest love of geeks?" - HaemishM
schild
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Reply #646 on: March 24, 2010, 10:02:55 PM

I recently got a friend invitation from my mother. I don't know know what to think on so many levels, damn you internets!
I told my mom it's called Facebook, not Familybook.
nurtsi
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Reply #647 on: March 24, 2010, 10:59:22 PM

I recently got a friend invitation from my mother. I don't know know what to think on so many levels, damn you internets!

You should be proud of your mom. She's radical!
schild
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Reply #648 on: March 24, 2010, 11:04:49 PM

I recently got a friend invitation from my mother. I don't know know what to think on so many levels, damn you internets!
You should be proud of your mom. She's radical!
Moms on facebook are like the largest demographic (on Facebook).

Edit: Or rather, fastest growing.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2010, 11:08:37 PM by schild »
Signe
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Reply #649 on: March 25, 2010, 05:33:56 AM

If there had been a Facebook thingy when I was younger and my mother wanted to join mine - that would have been totally awesome.  Especially if we lived far away from each other.  It's a really nice way to keep in touch.  I have a cousin whom I love very much and never see and it's incredible to be able to keep up using such a casual environment.  On the other hand, if I had a child or someone I cared about and extended an invite to them and they said no, I'd be gutted.  How hurtful is that?  Next time I saw them, I'd have to give them that really really sad look that only works on family members.  (and pets)




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KallDrexx
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Reply #650 on: March 25, 2010, 05:36:49 AM

My mom was always smart enough not to even attempt an invite to my facebook.  We had a good relationship, she just didn't want to know everything I did and I didn't want her to see everything i put up :P
Signe
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Reply #651 on: March 25, 2010, 05:41:27 AM

No, the sad look only comes after they try and join you and you shoot them down.  If they never bother, it doesn't count.

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Minvaren
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Reply #652 on: March 25, 2010, 09:49:18 AM

Parents on Facebook bring things like this to mind...

In semi-topical news, I might have a "coffee" date this weekend.  Is this considered a quicker-getaway thing than lunch/dinner, or...?  Not hanging out at coffee shops (or even liking coffee), I don't quite get the phenomenon.

"There are many things of which a wise man might wish to remain ignorant." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Engels
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Reply #653 on: March 25, 2010, 10:20:06 AM

Well yes. Coffee allows you to up and leave at moments notice should she notice your leprosy. A dinner does not allow as easy an out. Its the gentelman's way these days to do coffee first

I should get back to nature, too.  You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer.  Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached.  Buy a car with only two cup holders or something. -Signe

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Nebu
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Reply #654 on: March 25, 2010, 10:21:29 AM

As long as you have a cell phone, you always have a quick out.  Just tell a friend to call you 30 mins into the first date.  If it's going poorly, just feign an emergency. 

"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."

-  Mark Twain
Murgos
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Reply #655 on: March 25, 2010, 02:04:44 PM

As long as you have a cell phone, you always have a quick out.  Just tell a friend to call you 30 mins into the first date.  If it's going poorly, just feign an emergency. 

R u fem irl?

Anyway, you don't have to drink coffee at the coffee shop, it's just a place to meet that has casual seating.  Meeting for coffee (soda or water if that's your thing) is a 15 minute commitment with a ~2 dollar max cash outlay.  Dinner can be a lot more time & money committing even if you split the check.

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Nebu
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Reply #656 on: March 25, 2010, 04:13:04 PM

R u fem irl?

I'm a vegetarian, atheist democrat living in the deep south.  Most of my first dates are disasters. 

"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."

-  Mark Twain
Minvaren
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Reply #657 on: March 25, 2010, 06:00:34 PM

...should she notice your leprosy.

Frack, knew I forgot to mention something in the profile...   awesome, for real

"There are many things of which a wise man might wish to remain ignorant." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Lantyssa
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Reply #658 on: March 25, 2010, 08:18:12 PM

I'm a vegetarian, atheist democrat living in the deep south.  Most of my first dates are disasters. 
You should share for our enjoyment. Grin

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
Selby
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Reply #659 on: March 25, 2010, 09:32:23 PM

Most of my first dates are disasters. 
Hey, at least you get that far.  And seriously, share with the rest of the class so we can all comment on what kinds of crazy relationships you dodged bullets on.
Tale
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Reply #660 on: March 26, 2010, 12:02:51 AM

In semi-topical news, I might have a "coffee" date this weekend.  Is this considered a quicker-getaway thing than lunch/dinner, or...?  Not hanging out at coffee shops (or even liking coffee), I don't quite get the phenomenon.

I quickly learned that if you've never met before, coffee dates are much better. I'm not much of a coffee fan either, but you know the phrase "for the price of a cup of coffee ..."? For the price of a cup of coffee, you go on a date.

My first online date was a dinner date. I suggested a location, but she wanted to try somewhere more expensive. At the end of the meal, I politely offered to pay, expecting the usual response where she protests and offers to pay half. Except she didn't say a fucking word, she just let me pay the entire bill at the expensive place she had nominated.

So I paid for my lesson in online dating. Next morning I met another girl at a coffee shop, and it was way better.
Tale
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Reply #661 on: March 26, 2010, 12:04:13 AM

I'm a vegetarian, atheist democrat living in the deep south.  Most of my first dates are disasters.  
You should share for our enjoyment. Grin

Could make a website: Red State Date
Minvaren
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Reply #662 on: March 27, 2010, 08:15:37 PM

"Coffee" turned out to be longer than a dinner would have been.    Hooray for naming conventions.   awesome, for real

"There are many things of which a wise man might wish to remain ignorant." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Tale
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Reply #663 on: March 27, 2010, 09:19:36 PM

Second date then?
Selby
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Reply #664 on: March 27, 2010, 10:43:15 PM

Hopefully it was a mutual thing, unless she held you hostage and wouldn't take "gee look at the time..." for an answer...
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