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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  Gaming  |  But is it Fun?  |  Topic: QWOP - foddy.net - PC 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: QWOP - foddy.net - PC  (Read 10814 times)
sidereal
Contributor
Posts: 1712


on: November 11, 2008, 01:24:10 PM

http://www.foddy.net/Athletics.html

Have you ever watched a toddler take those first few halting, tottering steps before faceplanting into the carpet and thought 'Ha ha, what a doofus!  Walking is easy.  You are so dumb, baby'.  Well now the joke's on you, you insensitive prick.  Imagine having a button for each major muscle in your legs and having to press them with the correct timing to walk.  Now imagine that instead of just walking, you're having to run a 100 meter dash with a long jump at the end at the Olympics.  Well, you just imagined QWOP.

QWOP is more toy than game, but so was SimCity, and that did well.  You will inevitably break your avatard's neck 20 or 30 times before you figure out how to even take that first step.  Then you will do so 100 more times before figuring out how to make that first 10 meters.  There are Youtubes of people making the full 100, but they generally do it with some stupid, degenerative running motion that consists of hopping forward while doing the splits and takes half an hour.  Weak sauce.  I've made it 32.5 meters so far with an actual running motion (with some stops for breaks on the way).

Recommendation: waste the next hour and a half of your life on it.
« Last Edit: November 11, 2008, 01:27:54 PM by sidereal »

THIS IS THE MOST I HAVE EVERY WANTED TO GET IN TO A BETA
lesion
Moderator
Posts: 783


Reply #1 on: November 11, 2008, 04:13:21 PM

Oh my fucking god I love you to the moon. To the moon.

steam|a grue \[T]/
schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345


WWW
Reply #2 on: November 11, 2008, 04:27:17 PM

Wow. I WOULD suck at the special olympics.
Vinadil
Terracotta Army
Posts: 334


Reply #3 on: November 11, 2008, 05:45:08 PM

Aauuugggh.  You need to add a 0 on the number of attempts it would take me to run a full 100m.  Sadly, I will probably be back a few more times tonight after the initial frustration wears off.
lesion
Moderator
Posts: 783


Reply #4 on: November 11, 2008, 08:23:16 PM

I spent half an hour scientifically divining the most X-treme way to snap a person's spine and will never play it again. I consider it one of the best experiences in my entire life.

steam|a grue \[T]/
schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345


WWW
Reply #5 on: November 11, 2008, 08:24:06 PM

I spent about 2 hours trying to do a backflip.
Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19212

sentient yeast infection


WWW
Reply #6 on: November 11, 2008, 09:22:14 PM

I like the premise, but being able to bend each joint in only one direction is stupid.  Needs twice as many buttons plz.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
bhodi
Moderator
Posts: 6817

No lie.


Reply #7 on: November 12, 2008, 04:46:46 AM

I am apparently too retarded to get past 10m.
Cyrrex
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10603


Reply #8 on: November 12, 2008, 05:12:25 AM

If this "game" is supposed to bring you to tears with laughter, it's working.  I need to stop now before I attract too much attention.  My record so far:  one meter. 

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
JoeTF
Terracotta Army
Posts: 657


Reply #9 on: November 12, 2008, 07:13:39 AM

-2 meters. Fuck it.
rattran
Moderator
Posts: 4257

Unreasonable


Reply #10 on: November 17, 2008, 08:30:34 PM

I think the 'push the guy down the stairs' game was more fun.

Though I did play enough to find out there are hurdles. Never again.
Falconeer
Terracotta Army
Posts: 11124

a polyamorous pansexual genderqueer born and living in the wrong country


WWW
Reply #11 on: November 18, 2008, 05:54:15 AM

I get the same feeling I (think) would get by trying to handcraft a Sigmund Freud figurine with only ketchup and a few nails.

Mh, needs multiplayer support!

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