Top Chef Season 5

[Trippy]

Premiere is this Wednesday, 11/12, at 10/9c on Bravo.

http://www.bravotv.com/Top_Chef/season/5/best_of/index.php

[Ookii]

It's about time! 

[Nebu]

What an odd mix this year.  You have award winners that are executive chefs all the way to a guy still in cullinary school.  They also seemed to have cast a wide net on cooking tastes and styles. 

Damn, I love this stupid show.

[Trippy]

And a guy who never went to cooking school.

[Nebu]

And a guy who never went to cooking school.

That I can understand.  Experience can be the great equalizer... but sticking a student in with seasoned vets seems like a tough road. 

[Trippy]

Additionally, Fabio also works as William Shatner's private chef.

[Azaroth]

Awesome. I'm glad I saw this thread or I'd have missed it.

[NiX]

Ookii makes sure we never miss the good stuff.

[Signe]

Ookii is lovely.

[Trippy]

is not Ookii

[Signe]

I always get the two of you confused due to your blinding ginger hairs.

[Ookii]

Ookii isn't Trippy, I am.

[Signe]

[Azaroth]

I hope apple salad guy doesn't go.

[Azaroth]

Oh apple salad guy. 

Initially I was voting for him because I actually kind of wanted to try the apple salad. Which is more than I could say about whatever the hell the girl had made.

Then he just kept sucking so bad, you kind of had to want him to pull through. I suppose I was also hoping that the culinary student thing would become a good story, and secretly hoping before the show started that he was some sort of young student genius.

Then salmon on gluey black rice noodles w/ soy sauce.

Oh, apple salad guy. That's something my unimaginative ass would make home alone on a Tuesday night.

[Trippy]

Dang they let the cute one go first

[Trippy]

Then salmon on gluey black rice noodles w/ soy sauce.

Oh, apple salad guy. That's something my unimaginative ass would make home alone on a Tuesday night.

I'm kind of biased cause I've eaten a ton of it in my life but holy moley salmon, any way you cook it, is not Chinese food.

[Azaroth]

Dang they let the cute one go first

Women and gay guys everywhere are pissed.

But he was actually the second. Which makes me feel a bit sorry for that girl, because she won't really be remembered. Even as the "first to go". She just sorta got there, and then they were like "So hey, turn the fuck around then".

[Trippy]

Dang they let the cute one go first

Women and gay guys everywhere are pissed.

But he was actually the second. Which makes me feel a bit sorry for that girl, because she won't really be remembered. Even as the "first to go". She just sorta got there, and then they were like "So hey, turn the fuck around then".

No you silly goose I did mean the girl. And she had the Easy-Bake oven too!

[Azaroth]

Oh. She was considered "the cute one"?

Yikes. I suppose.

I guess there's a serious lack of straight men doing the casting.

[Trippy]

Oh. She was considered "the cute one"?

Yikes. I suppose.

I guess there's a serious lack of straight men doing the casting.

The women are "meh" this year but I thought she was the cutest of the lot. They need another one like Casey

[schild]

Casey

/drool

[schild]

Jesus Christ. Jeff is the long-faced twin of Chase on House.

[schild]

It's 8AM and I have nothing to do.

So here's my thoughts 20 minutes in:
1. Redhead deserved to go.
2. Regionally themed dishes are lame as shit when they go out of the way to get people from varying places around the world.
3. So we've had obvious male winning and female winning series. Now it's stacked on "the rainbow team" or whatever they said. Interesting. Ok, not really. Just an observation.
4. Absolutely no one in this season has shown the fight of previous winners. And they need to stop bringing middle-aged mothers on the show, that's laughable to me. Even if they're good.
5. Also, too many unlikable douchebags. I do not have hopes for this season.

6. Carla is a jackhob. What a goddamn weirdo. I hope her spirit guides tell her to shut the fuck up.
7. Listening to these people talk, it's fucking infuriating - it's like they're the most unexperimental bunch of chefs. And I don't mean they should be arrogant fucks who freeze apples and throw them against the wall to make apple sauce, I mean - who the fuck hasn't eaten russian food or seen an indian isle in a grocery store. OMG THE SPICES I'M OVERWHELMED. Get outta here with that shit. ENTERTAIN ME DAMNIT.

[Nebu]

Two of the least experienced people get kicked first (ages 23 and 21).  When tossed into the deep end, it's generally going to be the people that have learned by doing that will shine.  I'm hoping that the Hawaiian guy from Vegas does well.  He seems like a talented and humble guy. 

As for last night, I'm surprised they didn't kick the 40 year old restaurant owner... if you can't cook something properly after 20 years of cooking experience, you may not be a Top Chef.  At least the 21 year old has some long-term promise.  I think his inexperience hurt him when having to leave his comfort zone.  I guess he could have done like Ilan and just make everything the same and claim it was "his style". 

Looks like we may get some drama from the Euros. 

[schild]

We're not going to get drama from the Euros. We're going to get drama from the bigoted stupid cracker from NY.

[schild]

Scratch that, the Hawaiian might be inspired and talented.

Of course, being the closest thing to Asian on the show he has the best chance anyway.  If he was gay, he'd be a lock-in.

[Trippy]

2. Regionally themed dishes are lame as shit when they go out of the way to get people from varying places around the world.

It definitely gave some people like Leah a huge advantage having actually cooked in the country they were making the food of. On the other hand it showed that some people like Gene are able to accurately recreate the flavors of food they've only tasted once or a few times. So it kind of worked both ways.

3. So we've had obvious male winning and female winning series. Now it's stacked on "the rainbow team" or whatever they said. Interesting. Ok, not really. Just an observation.

Those two aren't going to come close to winning.

4. Absolutely no one in this season has shown the fight of previous winners.

I think it's kind of too soon to tell that. Also, you don't have to be a Hung to win the competition as Stephanie showed last year.

6. Carla is a jackhob. What a goddamn weirdo. I hope her spirit guides tell her to shut the fuck up.

Yes she is. She's on the show just for her personality.

[schild]

I think it's kind of too soon to tell that. Also, you don't have to be a Hung to win the competition as Stephanie showed last year.

And that was a shame, wasn't it? In all seriousness though - and this isn't a sexist thing - last year was basically "hay, a woman is winning, deal with it." The outcome was probably decided before the show even started. They need to keep both male and female viewer demographics.

Yes she is. She's on the show just for her personality.

I should try out for top chef and tell them that I'm fueled by the heart of a tiger the soul of the american auto industry.

Seriously, her eyes freak me out, she needs to go away.

[Xerapis]

Goddammit!

~sigh~

Now I have no idea who to cheer for...I can't believe the cute gay guy got sent home first. I also can't believe the cute gay guy had no clue how to cook fucking Asian food.

I'm so disappointed in my people.

[Signe]

The cute gay guy was really really adorable.  The guy that he had to go against was mocking him a bit because he was so naive and so honest about what he was doing.  I could have punched him in the junk!  Though I guess it was true in a way that you should keep what you're doing to yourself.  Anyway, the end when he hugged that last guy it was so sweet.  The Nazi looking guy from Finland seems very accomplished.  He has that typical Euro arrogance I see in a lot of chefs, for some reason.  He shares that with the bloke who is Captain Kirk's personal chef, but I've not been so impressed with Fabio.  Stupid name for someone who's not on the cover of a Barbara Cartland book.  I predict a lot of whining this season.   

[HaemishM]

Jesus Christ. Jeff is the long-faced twin of Chase on House.

He is SO metro it hurts. I want to punch his face just to break up the pretty.

The student and the cute one, though? They had to go. I mean, shit, she tosses together a salad with absolutely no thought in it, and he tries to cook Asian food badly. Yeah, salmon is not Asian food no matter how well you cook the noodles underneath it.

EDIT: Also, yes Carla, Ms. Spirit Guide... WTF? I swear, she looks like Bil Cosby, if the Cos was an anorexic tranny.

[Signe]

I know he had to go but he was so adorable.  Adorable boys are just adorable!  Spirit guide lady is nutty looking.  I'm not sure whether she'll end up cool or not.  First impression wasn't great, but I'm always wrong about this sort of thing at the start.  I kind of like the guy from Hawaii who has all those tats.  I thought he was going to be a jerk at the start of the show, but I warmed up.  He's tough and still kind of sensitive.  I also sort of liked the big guy whose name is Richard, I think.  (I might be getting this one confused with someone else)

Also, my biggest laugh of the episode was when the man in the beginning was talking and actually said, "I was screwed up the ass" and they didn't edit that out.  Excellent.

[Trippy]

The student and the cute one, though? They had to go. I mean, shit, she tosses together a salad with absolutely no thought in it, and he tries to cook Asian food badly. Yeah, salmon is not Asian food no matter how well you cook the noodles underneath it.

Japan eats tons of salmon -- it's just not a Chinese thing.

[schild]

The student and the cute one, though? They had to go. I mean, shit, she tosses together a salad with absolutely no thought in it, and he tries to cook Asian food badly. Yeah, salmon is not Asian food no matter how well you cook the noodles underneath it.

Japan eats tons of salmon -- it's just not a Chinese thing.

Not the way he prepared it, at least not that I've ever seen in a japanese restaurant. Probably would've been ok if he's seared it at really really high heat and cooked just a bit of it - though other fish would've made a better choice (tuna fucker! god that guy made me angry) - or bought sushigrade salmon. He had no clue what he was doing is really the end result.