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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Topic: Maybe a NY resolution to lose some weight is in order? 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: Maybe a NY resolution to lose some weight is in order?  (Read 4314 times)
WayAbvPar
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on: January 02, 2007, 12:51:34 PM

Fatass traps tourists in cave with her girth.

Ok, so I am not a skinny bastard like Haemish, but how fucking fat do you have to be to BLOCK A FUCKING CAVE?

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
Paelos
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Error 404: Title not found.


Reply #1 on: January 02, 2007, 02:02:50 PM

My guess is 3 bills easy. Judging by how many people told her not to do it, she's probably the type of hugely fat chick who hates it when people try to tell her that her weight is a problem. Guess what chica, once you've blocked a cave, you have officially graduated to the level where only the highest eschelon of morons can continue to live in denial about their own fat ass.

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geldonyetich
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Reply #2 on: January 02, 2007, 03:28:36 PM

It was probably a particularly narrow gap in a cave, but still, she lacked the wisdom to realize that she couldn't get through it. 

That story would have been so much better with a picture of the obstruction in progress.

Krakrok
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Reply #3 on: January 02, 2007, 03:41:51 PM

If this chair were a cave she wouldn't make it.
WayAbvPar
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Reply #4 on: January 02, 2007, 04:11:50 PM

Did someone move this? I swear I started it in Useless News...could just be residual effects from my raucous rockin' New Year's Eve.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
Nebu
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Reply #5 on: January 02, 2007, 04:26:31 PM

If this chair were a cave she wouldn't make it.

I'll bet good money that's an American waiting in Heathrow.

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Murgos
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Reply #6 on: January 02, 2007, 04:46:54 PM

If this chair were a cave she wouldn't make it.

Saved!

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Trippy
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Reply #7 on: January 02, 2007, 04:51:46 PM

For some reason this reminds me of the exit in Upper Guk which was just wide enough to fit a fatty (Ogre) through and in the early days of EQ on my server saw usage as a griefing tactic.
Strazos
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Reply #8 on: January 02, 2007, 06:43:30 PM

Mooooo...

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Raging Turtle
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Reply #9 on: January 02, 2007, 07:34:49 PM

If this chair were a cave she wouldn't make it.

Yaaaagdsgsdf.

I could eat pizza every meal for three months and I wouldn't have an ass like that. 

/backontopic
I've got a normal athletic build and I've been through parts of touristy caves where I baaarely fit.  She wasn't necessarily a whale.   
« Last Edit: January 02, 2007, 07:36:28 PM by Raging Turtle »
WindupAtheist
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Badicalthon


Reply #10 on: January 03, 2007, 12:31:41 AM

If this chair were a cave she wouldn't make it.

I'll bet good money that's an American waiting in Heathrow.

Don't worry, the UK is doing it's best to catch up.

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Yoru
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Reply #11 on: January 03, 2007, 12:32:06 AM

Whoa.

I've actually been to that very cave system several years ago. They don't take you down the really narrow parts for the normal tour (which is what I did due to time constraints), so she had to have signed up for the expensive go-everywhere tour. The normal part is very open, kind of like going to any cavern system set up for tourists.

I don't remember specifically how tight the smaller parts were, but I recall something about the smaller ones being something like a 17" clearance. Or maybe it was 170 meters long. It's been a while.
Ironwood
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Reply #12 on: January 03, 2007, 12:40:00 AM

If this chair were a cave she wouldn't make it.

I'll bet good money that's an American waiting in Heathrow.

Don't worry, the UK is doing it's best to catch up.

England.  Here we die before we get too fat.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Riggswolfe
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Reply #13 on: January 03, 2007, 07:33:30 AM

This story would have been so much better if it ended in cannibalism like the monsters in that movie the Descent.

"We live in a country, where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest, Yoko Ono was standing right next to him and not one fucking bullet! Explain that to me! Explain that to me, God! Explain it to me, God!" - Denis Leary summing up my feelings about the nature of the universe.
geldonyetich
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Reply #14 on: January 03, 2007, 12:09:02 PM

Quote
It estimated that each person whose death is directly linked to an obesity related condition, loses nine years of life.
As somebody whose new years resolution is to lose 40-60 pounds (a resolution I expect will take at least 2 years) this is great news to me.  In failing that goal, I'd be kicking the bucket at 65 instead of 74ish.

I don't think I'm in danger of blocking any caves though.  The lady in question was probably morbidly obese.  Also, unlike me, she apparently didn't have claustrophobia.  She might now, though!

In any case, the world's sweet tooth is beginning to catch up to it.  A lot of it probably has to do with our more sedentary activities (like sitting on a computer all day).  We should come up with better food technology to combat this.

geldonyetich
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Reply #15 on: January 03, 2007, 12:14:38 PM

Couldn't find a picture of the "Tunnel of Love" that she was caught in, but it was probably something like this.

HaemishM
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Reply #16 on: January 03, 2007, 12:15:08 PM

I find it vaguely unsettling that the cave she got stuck in was the Tunnel of Love.

geldonyetich
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Reply #17 on: January 03, 2007, 12:23:10 PM

It wasn't a cave obstruction, it was a birth complication.

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