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Topic: Get married... NOW! (Read 4492 times)
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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I'ts official. Married people live longer. I saw on the news last night (or I'd give a link) that unmarried people, especially men, are more likely to die before those who are married. Divorced people and those who are widowed, also mostly men, are in danger of a premature death, as well. So get married, you guys! Especially Schild, even though he's still very young. It just annoys me that there isn't anyone to nag him. He needs a good nagging and he doesn't always respond to my placeholdier naggery on AIM. (I'm just trying to prepare you for the long horror ahead called "life, my old son." Anyway... get married before you die. And those who are married, stay married or you'll die, too. Trust me... I'm a wife. If Gordon tried to divorce me, he'd die!  I can almost guarantee it. And those of you who, by some miracle, don't die... well, you'll wish you had. I can almost guarantee that, too.  And they say that the little piece of paper doesn't mean a thing. Ha! |
My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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So if married men live longer, what does that mean for polygamists?
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The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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Don't mess with me, Merusk. You KNOW what will happen. You'll die... I can almost guarantee it.
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Polysorbate80
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2044
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So if married men live longer, what does that mean for polygamists?
More than one wife to put up with? I don't know if they live longer, but I'll bet they spend the whole time begging for death. |
“Why the fuck would you ... ?” is like 80% of the conversation with Poly — Chimpy
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lamaros
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8021
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The unmarried are generaly more depressed too. Studies and all that.
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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I'm fine at least. It's my married friends that I feel sorry for.
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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You'll die... I can almost guarantee it.
All men die. Not all men get arrested and start yelling racially caustic remarks. X-thread reference! |
The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 32117
I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.
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I have to nag my girlfriend to nag me.
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Furiously
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7199
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I'ts official. Married people live longer. I saw on the news last night (or I'd give a link) that unmarried people, especially men, are more likely to die before those who are married. Divorced people and those who are widowed, also mostly men, are in danger of a premature death, as well.
I thought married men lived longer and married women had shorter lives....Lucky for us guys eh Signe? |
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WayAbvPar
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I'ts official. Married people live longer. I saw on the news last night (or I'd give a link) that unmarried people, especially men, are more likely to die before those who are married. Divorced people and those who are widowed, also mostly men, are in danger of a premature death, as well.
I thought married men lived longer and married women had shorter lives....Lucky for us guys eh Signe? Yeah, I can't wait to start nailing all that hot retirement home ass. |
When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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I'ts official. Married people live longer. I saw on the news last night (or I'd give a link) that unmarried people, especially men, are more likely to die before those who are married. Divorced people and those who are widowed, also mostly men, are in danger of a premature death, as well.
I thought married men lived longer and married women had shorter lives....Lucky for us guys eh Signe? Please stop rubbing it in that you're a bloke. I still shed a tear now and then. I don't know how you fooled me all that time. God, I have no "dar" of any kind at all. And perhaps married men do live longer than married women... but I have a plan.... |
My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848
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Sorry, I can't. |
Hahahaha! I'm really good at this!
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WayAbvPar
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Sure you can! You just need to steel yourself into accepting a loveless, sexless marriage. Hell, that is where they usually end up anyway! :-D
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When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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edlavallee
Terracotta Army
Posts: 495
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Men may live longer, but they wish they were dead...
Who wants those last years filled with incontinence, impotence and brittle bones anyway?
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Zipper Zee - space noob
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Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848
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Sure you can! You just need to steel yourself into accepting a loveless, sexless marriage. Hell, that is where they usually end up anyway! :-D
I fail to see how that will increase my life expectancy. |
Hahahaha! I'm really good at this!
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Furiously
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7199
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I think that comment right there added 5 more seconds. Excuse me while I go grab a smoke.
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WayAbvPar
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Sure you can! You just need to steel yourself into accepting a loveless, sexless marriage. Hell, that is where they usually end up anyway! :-D
I fail to see how that will increase my life expectancy. The actual time won't change, but it will feel like an eternity!  |
When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542
The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid
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Pfft, marriage...
Mother nature can keep those extra years. They come at the end anyway.
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Fear the Backstab!
"Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion
"Hell is other people." -Sartre
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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Married men live longer for the same reason that declawed housecats live longer: because the cat lady is always watching!
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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Righ
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6542
Teaching the world Google-fu one broken dream at a time.
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Pfft, marriage...
I think that's so cute. You're still scared of girl cooties. |
The camera adds a thousand barrels. - Steven Colbert
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Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542
The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid
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I'm not, but my investment portfolio is.
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Fear the Backstab!
"Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion
"Hell is other people." -Sartre
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edlavallee
Terracotta Army
Posts: 495
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How can you call your collection of McDonalds Happy Meal toys your investment portfolio?
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Zipper Zee - space noob
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Tale
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8567
sıɥʇ ǝʞıן sʞןɐʇ
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Tebonas
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6365
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My parents raised two children together without being married, who am I to break tradition? I gladly sacrifice a few years to honor my forefathers. I'm a loving son like that.
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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I love the cynical nature of the internet, as shown through the Google Ads that come up in a thread encouraging people to get married.
Ads like
"Find out why so many wives cheat"
"Unfaithful Husbands"
"Your relationship is over"
"Divorced People Meet"
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The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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bhodi
Moderator
Posts: 6817
No lie.
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I'm not sure marriage is such a good idea, just look at some of those AOL searches.. I particularly liked the couple that was both cheating on each other.
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Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542
The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid
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How can you call your collection of McDonalds Happy Meal toys your investment portfolio?
Hey, I have the first 12 Captain Planet comics too! I never said I was diversified. |
Fear the Backstab!
"Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion
"Hell is other people." -Sartre
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