Why can't I own a Canadian?

[NiX]

This is pretty old, but I found it funny and haven't seen it posted. Here's a piece from this funny letter to a radio Dr against gay marriage:

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

The rest of it is here.

[schild]

Unless you have an assload of snow that needs shoveling, I can't see a reason to own a Canadian. Well, maybe to gather maple for syrup. Or perhaps to fill out a hockey team.

Eh, how aboot that, I hit the triumvirate.

[Merusk]

Pam Anderson is Canadian.

That seems a good enough reason to me. (Well.. early Pam Anderson, nowadays not so much.)

Then again.. so is Celene Dion.  But they're a slave so what you do with them matters little.  So hey, yet another reason; Boxing-away bad artists fom the world view. 

[Sky]

The bible doth rocketh.

[Ironwood]

So which came first, this or the West Wing episode where Bartlett ripped into one of his Radio guests with this speech ??


Edit :  Never Mind.

October 2000 was not Dr. Laura's month. A few weeks after she issued her apology, a version of the "Letter to Dr. Laura" was incorporated into the 18 October episode of the political television drama The West Wing. In "The Midterms," President Bartlet used his own detailed knowledge of the Bible to make a Schlessinger-esque character named Jenna Jacobs look ridiculous.

[WindiaN]

we should definitely be able to own canadians, and the bible trumps all laws!

[squirrel]

Unless you have an assload of snow that needs shoveling, I can't see a reason to own a Canadian. Well, maybe to gather maple for syrup. Or perhaps to fill out a hockey team.

Eh, how aboot that, I hit the triumvirate.

Um well us Vancouverites make the best pot in the world? If ya like that kind of thing.

I'm willing to be rented or leased. Outright ownership is prohibited by the hoser hockey laws of 1989.

[SurfD]

If you are willing to pay for my Room / Board / Food / Medical / Internet and MMOG related expences, consider me for sale :P

[Llava]

I'm willing to have a Canadian buy me.

I offer monolingualism and a shocking ignorance of world events.

[Signe]

I call dibs on Squirrel but only if his cheeks are stuffed with BC bud. 

[Righ]

I'm willing to have a Canadian buy me.

I offer monolingualism and a shocking ignorance of world events.

You can catch terrible diseases from monolingus with hoors.

[Morfiend]

That makes me happy.

[Yegolev]

If you are willing to pay for my Room / Board / Food / Medical / Internet and MMOG related expences, consider me for sale :P

How about I let you take anything you find in my Box O' Medicine and you can make alts on any games I play (that allow alts)?  Plus $100 a week if you do my chores.