TomKat's baby (aka TomKitty) is going to Hell

[Trippy]

Cruise: Baby Won't Have Catholic Baptism

Katie Holmes was raised a Catholic, but, says fiance Tom Cruise, their soon-to-arrive baby will not have a Catholic baptism.

"No," Cruise tells Diane Sawyer in an interview on ABC's "Primetime," airing Friday, 9 p.m. EDT. "No, I mean you can be Catholic and be a Scientologist. You can be Jewish and be a Scientologist. But we're just Scientologists."

[Sky]

That's the most sensible thing I've heard about Cruise or Scientology.

Luckily, I've been dunked in the magic pond that will save me from burning in eternal torment.

[Signe]

My mother's family parish wouldn't baptise me because they felt my name was pagan or some nonsense.  They only relented when my grandfather threatened to stop giving them 15% of his annual income.  They compromised... give me an acceptable middle name and they would do it.

So you see just how important baptism is!  There's money at steak!

[Shockeye]

My mother's family parish wouldn't baptise me because they felt my name was pagan or some nonsense.

If they'd known back then how you'd turn out they would've skipped the baptism and gone straight to the sacrifice.

[Surlyboi]

My mother's family parish wouldn't baptise me because they felt my name was pagan or some nonsense.  They only relented when my grandfather threatened to stop giving them 15% of his annual income.  They compromised... give me an acceptable middle name and they would do it.

So you see just how important baptism is!  There's money at steak!

Mmmm...steak...

[Miasma]

I'm pretty sure you just wind up in Limbo if you don't get baptised, not hell.

Besides, that baby is going to be a thetan-free level 58 Sceintologist and therefore immortal so he/she doesn't have to worry about any afterlife, suckers.

[Lantyssa]

So you see just how important baptism is!  There's money at steak!

I became a godless heathen because they got me wet.  No money for them.

Now I am also hungry.  Thanks.

[TheWalrus]

I became a godless heathen because they got me wet. 

Ahem.