First "The Body", now "The Impaler"?

[Shockeye]

'Vampyre' candidate supports impaling criminals

The Associated Press - Thursday, January 12, 2006

One gubernatorial candidate in Minnesota is giving a whole new meaning to the "dark side" of politics.

A man who calls himself a satanic priest plans to run for governor on a 13-point platform that includes the public impaling of terrorists at the state Capitol building.

Jonathon Sharkey, also known as "The Impaler", plans to launch his gubernatorial campaign on - when else? - Friday the 13th. He'll make the announcement in Princeton.

"I'm going to be totally open and honest," said the 41-year-old leader of the "Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party."

"Unlike other candidates, I'm not going to hide my evil side," he said.

In Minnesota, anyone who pays the $300 filing fee can get on the gubernatorial ballot and it seems that every year a few eccentric candidates make the rounds.

Sharkey raises the bar. For one thing, he told the Star Tribune in an e-mail that he drinks blood.

Including the impaling of terrorists, rapists, drug dealers and other criminals, Sharkey's platform includes emphasis on education, tax breaks for farmers and better benefits for veterans.

Sharkey said he worships Lucifer and, while he says he has nothing against Christians, he calls the "Christian God the Father" his "mortal enemy."

Sharkey said he was injured during a parachute jump with the Army in 1982 and receives veterans' disability benefits.

He has not yet registered as a gubernatorial candidate, but he has already filed as a candidate for the 2008 presidential election.

[kaid]

HAHAH oh goody I get to mock my mother some more. She thought she was safe after they got rid of jesse "the mind" ventura.

Kaid

[Shockeye]

Here's his website and here is a picture of him.

[WayAbvPar]

I found another picture of him-

[Shockeye]

That's too harsh WAP. I think he could probably do a better job than most career politicians. I'd vote for him if I still lived up there.

[tazelbain]

Are they evil tax-breaks for farmers?

[Shockeye]

Are they evil tax-breaks for farmers?

I bet he'd go so far as to put frickin' lasers on the cows.

[Shockeye]

Interview with the Vampyre

[schild]

lol@intervyew.

[TheTijuanaBrass]

I'd really have to hear why he prefers impaling before immolation or other types of burning before I could vote for him. And I must say that his position on the protextion of innocents leave me wary.

[Nevermore]

And now his wife is in the news.

[Shockeye]

That's it. We need these people as posters on f13.

[Ironwood]

I was assuming we did.


Incidentally, 'witch-hunt' ?  That's awful.

[HaemishM]

And now his wife is in the news.

Maybe the school board found her cooking blog with the "Hansel Cookies" recipe.

[Yegolev]

“They are appalled at what I am,

lolzers

[Shockeye]

Dumbass.

'Vampyre' candidate is jailed on warrants

Indiana seeks long-shot Sharkey on warrants Associated Press

Posted on Wed, Feb. 01, 2006

MILACA, Minn. — A fringe candidate for Minnesota governor who played up his satanic side — and pledged public impalement for terrorists — wound up behind bars Tuesday thanks to a sharp-eyed sheriff's dispatcher.

Jonathon Sharkey, 41, of Princeton was arrested Monday night on two felony counts from Indiana, said Mike Smith, the Mille Lacs County jail administrator. One warrant was for escape, another for stalking.

Sharkey launched his gubernatorial campaign last month under the banner of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans party. His platform includes an emphasis on education, tax breaks for farmers and better benefits for veterans, but he also said he favored impaling certain wrongdoers in front of the state Capitol.

Mille Lacs County Sheriff Brent Lindgren said a dispatcher making routine warrant queries discovered Sharkey's warrants. Lindgren said the dispatcher had seen news stories about Sharkey's campaign and recognized the name on the warrant — Rocky Flash — as a name Sharkey had used as a professional wrestler.

Princeton police arrested Sharkey without incident, Lindgren said. Sharkey remained in jail Tuesday pending extradition proceedings.

Roger Rayl, a spokesman in the Marion County, Ind., prosecutor's office, confirmed outstanding warrants for Sharkey but didn't immediately have details on the cases.

Sharkey has formed a campaign committee for governor, but actual filing doesn't occur until July.

[Sky]

One warrant was for escape, another for stalking.

Well of course. He's a VAMPIRE (hint to the undead: sometimes Y, but not now). I bet he escape was when he fled jail by turning into a bat.

[Llava]

omg a dual wielding governor

pwn

[Strazos]

Pfft, he's trying to dual wield with a bastard sword, what a nub.

[Murgos]

Dude, he's wearing a blanket.  That's gotta be newbie armor.

[Strazos]

It's +2 AC Gothic Cloth Armor.

It's an upgrade from the skivvies you start with. Costs 3cp.

[HaemishM]

It certainly looks like it was crafted by a n00b.

[Roac]

It certainly looks like it was crafted by a n00b.

Replica piece, which is useless for actual use.  Isn't balanced/weighted right, and steel quality isn't where it needs to be.  He's like those blubies that sat at Tram bank showing off their pretty but impractical gear and who are afraid to step out back because they know they'd get their asses kicked.

[Yegolev]

He was once a wrestler?  Gold.