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Author Topic: He was the "World's Most Kosher MC".  (Read 1047 times)
Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668

Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...


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on: July 15, 2005, 01:30:18 PM

Quote from: JEWCY
Converting 50 Shekel
Aviad Cohen, aka rapper 50 Shekel, saw the light after watching "The Passion of the Christ." Now, the proselytizing New Jew for Jesus and self proclaimed "World's Most Kosher MC" has thrown the Jewish hipster and surrounding blogworld into a tizzy with his conversion to Christianity.
 
by Jewcy Staff



Aviad Cohen, who achieved modest success as Jewish rapper 50 Shekel, saw the light after watching "The Passion of the Christ" and became a "New Jew" for Jesus.

The one-hit wonder, parody hip-hop wannabe rose to quasi-fame within the Jewish community with his novelty act of ripping Eminem protege 50 Cent's "In Da Club" and converting it to "In Da Shul."

Cohen, a.k.a. 50, did inspired performances at Orthodox schools, synagogues, Kosher Club parties and, of course, wore an oversized silver Star of David around his neck, typically posing with a lazily cocked index finger pointing gangsta-style and belting out the following immortal rhyme:

When I daven up front, you see me shuckle with my cuz
When I pray pretty deep, it's me and G-d up above
Ladies hear I'm in L.A., now they wanna call me up
When I shpiel like Eminem, the Jews show me love.

Shek, an Israeli-born Brooklynite of Persian and eastern European descent, gloried in the love of the Yidden for a while. But the tribe grew restless when he proved unable to emulate the success of his blacker and richer near-namesake.

But eventually the love was lost when 50 went searching for greener pastures, fearing no evil, neglecting in the meantime to tell his record company and promoters that the erstwhile advocate of Jew Pride had embraced Jesus after a DVD-induced epiphany.

As he reports on his newly Christianized website, referring to the Good Lord in familial Hebrew: "Abba did what Abba does... He delivered... me out of the fleshly world and into His arms of salvation."

50 Shekel there witnesses his love for Jesus, comparing his own life to that of his newly discovered savior on his new homepage with an apparently self-referential quote from the New Testament: "If you were of the world, the world would love its own. But because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, for that reason the world hates you... now they have both seen and have hated both Me and My Father, but... that the word might be filled which was written in their Torah, 'They hated me without a cause." - John 15:19.

The "They" appears to refer to dem God-forsakin' Christ-killin' Jews.

Yup, those Judases betrayed Shek as they betrayed his Savior some two thousand years before. "I would not be surprised if there were slanderings towards my name and character at Shabbos tables this weekend when only not too long ago, many of you were singing my 'In Da Shul' song at your Shabbos tables, giving me props for being someone who was honestly Jewin something nice and clean with the little resources that I had to Jew something that had never been done before in a cool-n-hip way that kids can finally grasp and relate to more than just another dated 'oy yoy yoy' song that they are embarassed to bump in their iPod, car or at parties. Used to know a little now I know a lot. Now I really know where I came from. Challelujah!"

Shek tells the glorious tale about how he saw the light one fine Sabbath on the upper west side when the spirit moved him to violate the Holy Day and cop a disk at Best Buy. And not just any ole disk...

"Was anybody looking? I was in my black Gianfranco Ferre Shabbos suit. Nah, no Jews here, they're all eating gefilte fish and horseradish; it's appetizer time at Shabbos lunch tables. I know the driedel [sic] drill. Back to the flick. What was the big falafel fuss about this movie? What's the big spiel deal? Prior to this day all I could hear was The Passion was anti-Semitic, gave a bad name to Jews, it will inciting hatred towards Jews and so on."

Shekel pulled a trick used by every teenager out to buy a porn mag or a pack of condoms. "I grabbed a copy of Agent Cody Banks on DVD as well, which I also bought, so I could cover up the copy of The Passion on DVD when I went to pay for it. I went up to the register lady, slowly put the two DVDs on the table. I remember, slowwwwllly placing it on the table. As if I was in some sort of "Top Secret" mission, slipping someone money in exchange for a piece of secret and valuable information, or as if it was some hush\-hush money for drugs exchanged, like in a Miami Vice episode.

I gave her the money, looked around to make sure that no Jews could see that I'm buying The Passion. The DVDs were in da bag. Mission accomplished, but I wasn't up to the "get away" part just yet. I still had to pass through the Judaism jungle of NYC."

Alas, Shek had to deal with the UWS Vice Squad. "I exited the store, turned left to head for the subway to take me back home. An Orthodox man spotted me. I was in my Shabbos suit, holding a bag from Best Buy. He gave me a snotty, 'You're such a less of a Jew, I don't want to be seen with you, you are an embarrassment' look," he explains.

"I was on the subway, headed back to Queens. I came home to my apartment. Opened up the DVD. Popped it into my Apple Powerbook. Started the movie. HOLY SHABBBOS!!!! This movie is Jewish. Jesus is Jewish! His name is YESHUA? May neeshtana, ha layla ha zeh Wait! I thought this movie was supposed to be anti-Semitic. This is the coolest Jewish movie I have ever seen. The Pharisees look familiar -- similar to The Pharisees of today. The top Pharisee looks almost exactly like the Rabbi I swore to never deal with in NYC."

Of Shekel's passionate flashback about a traumatic Shabbos in that Rabbi's house we may return later, but for now, to the shattering climax of 50's movie rapture:

"After seeing The Passion, my mouth was wide open for about 20 minutes straight. I was shocked. 'Oh my God, Jesus was Yeshua. Jesus was the Messiah. Messiah is Moshiach, the Annointed One that we've been waiting for. This movie is not anti-Semitic. I have just fallen in love with God. I love being a Jew. Thank you Mel Gibson. You're a Catholic and you just unveiled to me our Moshiach. You just helped me totally understand that there is more to being a Jew than just driedels [sic] and latkes. So why do so many Jews hate you? They should be cheering you and your movie on! Mel Gibson has more matzoh balls than Steven Spielberg. After that, I went online to read the book of Matthew in The New Testament. Wow! Jewish! Legit!

"Thanks Mel, if not for God using you and your crew mightily for His purposes, I would have gone straight to eternal hell and would have never known what it really means to be true Jew. You have major matzoh balls to tell the most important true story to ever hit the silver screen. This is my #1 movie of all time and Mel Gibson is the most important director to ever emerge out of Hollywood."

Shekel slips into colloquial Hebrew, rhymin' to the gang: "Quote me chevreyyy: Jew pride is now pass, while walking in God's 'Truth is the only way.'"

If this were all not preposterous enough, 50 Shekel takes a few extra steps which suggests that he sees himself not only a homie of Jesus and Mel, but identifies with each.

Like Gibson he is the great artist and producer, persecuted by the scheming Jews and the Jewish Establishment.

Some have indeed speculated that just as Mel parlayed the resentment of the Jewish Establishment into a box office blockbuster, Shekel is trying to do the same, hyping his embrace of Christ to reach the broader base of lovers of the Jesus juice.

Support for the hype-theory can be found in the sheer silliness of some of his pro-Christian promotions like the "Reeses for Jesus" t-shirt which compares love of the Savior to a chocolate-and-peanutbutter-cup candy.

But even greater than Mel, if such a thing can be imagined, 50 is walking in the steps of Jesus, telling his personal tale of trial, suffering, redemption and ultimate resurrection as "The Passion of the Shek".

And of course he sees him betrayed by the Scribes and Pharisees for 30 shekels of silver. It's an old story, as old as Paul on the Damascus road. Nice Jewish boy turns to Jesus and turns on the Jews.

Keep the change.
WayAbvPar
Moderator
Posts: 19270


Reply #1 on: July 15, 2005, 01:33:30 PM

Quote
Quote from: JEWCY

I hope that is meant to be funny.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

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Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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