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July 31, 2025, 01:01:10 PM

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Quote from: NY Post

NUN SNUBS HUG, GETS SLUGGED

By PHILIP MESSING

March 1, 2005 -- A Harlem nun may think twice about being a good Samaritan after a drunken man allegedly beat her up when she returned his lost keys, but then wouldn't accept a hug in thanks.

The bizarre incident unfolded early Sunday in front of a bodega on Pleasant Avenue.

According to police, a drunken Steven Feliciano, 22, had lost his keys near a bus stop. Stephany Velez picked up the keys and found Feliciano inside the bodega.

He was so happy to have his keys back that he attempted to hug and kiss Velez. Police said they believe his affection was genuine, but the nun was not interested in such an inebriated display of gratitude.

After Velez pulled away, an offended Feliciano chased her out of the bodega, screaming, "You bitch!" police said.

She headed for a pay phone to call cops, but Feliciano caught up with her, allegedly striking her twice in the head and knocking her down.

She suffered lacerations and an injured nose.

Feliciano fled into a nearby housing project and was arrested two hours later. He was charged with assault.

Who doesn't want to demonstrate physical affection to someone in a wimple? Those things are almost as hot as burqas.

The guy beat up a nun? Drunk or not that never seems like a good idea.

He's lucky she didn't kill him with her yardstick. :( Nuns bring back scary memories. They have no legs, you know.

A few months ago, something similar happened to a woman who happened to be riding in the same train car as me.

This indigent man, reeking of B.O. and old wine, boarded the train. If Batshit Insane were a deity, this bum was definitely his avatar. The car was crowded with people going home from work and such, amplifying this guy's stellar aroma. When the train started moving, the bum wobbled from the sudden momentum and dropped a small book. It looked like a pocket thesaurus, but the cover was faded. What in hell he was doing with it is anyone's guess. In fact, I don't even know how he got onto the train, since you have to pay to even enter the stations.

Anyway, this woman leaned down (no small feat in a cramped car) to pick up the book and handed it back to the bum. The bum then tried to hug her in a drunken parody of gratitude or lechery (wasn't quite sure which), she refused, and then all hell broke loose. He started jabbering about the end of the world while flailing his arms around. He aimed quite a few blows at the woman, connecting once or twice. He then started hitting people around him, though it could have been that other people were just collateral damage due to the crowding. Lots of people in the car tried to physically restrain the bum, but he was so oily they kept losing their grip. I was like 10 feet away from this while it's going on, helping to pull the woman through the crowd away from this stark raving lunatic.

When the train came to the next station, a bunch of us shoved him out the open door onto the platform, and somebody called the police. The woman was fine, a few bruises but not badly hurt.

I have so many strange bum stories now that I think about it .... sheesh San Francisco is an interesting place.

A bum tried to steal my hat on the subway in Atlanta. So I took it off and sat on it. He was not pleased, but moved along.

I gave a drunk beggar a bag of fresh roasted chestnuts in South Philadelphia once... right across the face. He touched me.

Every time I take the Speedline into Philadelphia, the same fat guy says he lost all his money and asks us for some on our way home...Every time, same guy...heh.