To the perspective candidate!

[NiX]

Just got this e-mail to my job hunting account, I edited nothing but my full name out:

Dear Jon,

Thanks to the Worko Polis job site I got an opportunity to look thought your resume.

SeoGalaxy, Inc. is pleased to offer you a position of an advertising agent.
My name is Fred Stanley, and I work as a recruiter with SeoGalaxy, Inc. and my responsibilities include hiring and training new company’s employees.

We are glad to offer you a great opportunity of working within the industry of online advertising and developing new skills in creation of attractive ads, experiencing your communicative and creative skills in online marketing.

This position is meant for an intelligent, responsible candidate who is really willing to take the initiative and devote his or her time and skills to fulfilling job duties in a quality manner.

We are not looking for easy ways and orient our business to a steady and effective performance of services. And in today's world many people can comfortably arrange their work from home offices. And most of the duties of the advertising agent position with our company, you can perform successfully staying at home.

Hard work and patience will be the best assistant to work with us. The training is provided to every new employee, but a successful candidate must have excellent skills of computer literacy and be able to use standard software package, as well as to be creative in the course of job performing.

We provide free training and do not require any money from candidates.

Priorities of the company are innovative advertising creation and achieving the top among the market competitors.

Brief job description and responsibilities of the advertising agent include:

- Creation of ads, the key phrases for search optimization.

- Placing ads in major advertising resources, on web boards and forums;

- Looking for web resources (boards, catalogues, forums) to place ads;

- Sending e-mail notifications to our clients;
- Adding the addresses of companies in the business catalogues in semi-automatical mode;

- Communication with clients via e-mail regarding services provided by our company, in cases when our service representative is not available. (Customer care is required occasionally)


We are ready to offer you:

- Stable salary; (1955 CAD every 2 weeks)
- Flexible work schedule

- System of bonuses(8-10K CAD per year)

- Great opportunity to travel on business, in cases when orders are significant and can warrant an essential profit.

We pay salary to our employees every two weeks. We pay bonuses at the end of every working week.

I am totally ready to provide you with more detailed information regarding our company, your work responsibilities and schedule as soon as I receive your interest note. It would be great if you could attach your Word-format resume to your reply e-mail for more detailed study and adding it to our data-base.
I would be glad to provide you with my business mail after the first contact from your side.

Thanks for attention.
Fred Stanley.

[Khaldun]

Translation:

We're running out of Indians here in Hyderabad who can help place spamlinks in blog comment fields. You too can earn a couple of dollars a week!

[NiX]

I like that the company is based out of India and they happen to have a recruiter named FRED STANLEY.

[Murgos]

You know how things like Amway are really a big pyramid scheme?

This gives me a great idea.  I'll spam every account on monster with a form letter:

Dear SoAndSo,

After extensive research I have chosen you to help fill an open position as senior sales representative for Murgos Industries.  Etc...

And then if they reply sign them up with Amway with me as their sponsor.   I can automate the whole thing, never lift a finger and make $$$.   

[Sky]

Reply in Emails From An Asshole form.

Mr. Fred Stanley,

I thank you so much for the opportunity to work for your company, but I'm puzzled as to why you think I want to work from home. Obviously you've never met my wife, she's an obnoxious bitch. That's why I'm looking for a job in the first place: to get out of the house! Also, if you could pay me cash in small, unmarked, non-sequential bills, that'd be a big help. In addition, I know you value my job performering, so you won't mind advancing me the first year's salary.

Thanks,
Nixel

[NiX]

[K9]

 

[sidereal]

semi-automatical mode

Wasn't that a Nine Inch Nails song?

[Tale]

My perspective is there are prospective candidates who would fall for it :(

[Murgos]

semi-automatical mode

Wasn't that a Nine Inch Nails song?

I think it was called semi-anatomical node...

[NiX]

Good morning Jon. Our job is not available more. Sorry. Good luck. Fred Stanley.