Pages: [1] 
|
 |
|
 Author
|
Topic: The revolution has begun (Read 2822 times)
|
Righ
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6542
Teaching the world Google-fu one broken dream at a time.
|
|
The camera adds a thousand barrels. - Steven Colbert
|
|
|
Oban
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4662
|
Two things popped out: fell from the first-floor terrace Head first or directly on his spiked fence? One approach has been to train bands of larger, more ferocious langur monkeys to go after the smaller groups of Rhesus macaques.  Seriously, hasn't anyone taught them not to listen to the consultants? |
Palin 2012 : Let's go out with a bang!
|
|
|
Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
|
What? It's a great idea. Then, once the langur monkeys take-over, they can train chimps with knives to kick them out. Then we move on to orangutans with guns.. then gorillas with sniper rifles. It's fool proof I tell you!
|
The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
|
|
|
Miasma
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5283
Stopgap Measure
|
Our top story, the population of parasitic tree lizards has exploded,
and local citizens couldn't be happier! It seems the rapacious
reptiles have developed a taste for the common pigeon, also known as
the feathered rat, or the gutterbird. For the first time, citizens
need not fear harassment by flocks of chattering disease-bags.
Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're
overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese
needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous
type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around,
the gorillas simply freeze to death.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Phildo
|
They used that same gag in the Clerks animated series.
|
|
|
|
|
Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
|
Ironically, I think this problem can be solved if they hire some overseas consultants. One or two guys from Alabama can educate them in the fine art of leaving bowls of antifreeze out, or spiking dog food with D-CON, or the tried-and-true sitting on the porch with a .22 rifle.
|
Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
|
|
|
voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
|
I still like the Fight Monkey With Monkey approach. God this is really funneh.
|
|
|
|
Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
|
Humans are at the top of the monkey-chain, so it's best to skip the middle-men if you ask me.
|
Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
|
|
|
Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075
Error 404: Title not found.
|
Every animal is sacred until it starts shitting in your house, stealing your food, and killing your leaders.
|
CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
|
|
|
|
Polysorbate80
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2044
|
Every animal is sacred until it starts shitting in your house, stealing your food, and killing your leaders.
Wouldn't that one kinda balance out the other two, though? |
“Why the fuck would you ... ?” is like 80% of the conversation with Poly — Chimpy
|
|
|
Simond
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6742
|
There's a Dwarf Fortress joke in this story somewhere, I just know it!
|
"You're really a good person, aren't you? So, there's no path for you to take here. Go home. This isn't a place for someone like you."
|
|
|
Miasma
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5283
Stopgap Measure
|
|
|
|
|
|
Nerf
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2421
The Presence of Your Vehicle Has Been Documented
|
I wonder if thats a valid defense to prosecution here in Texas, I've got a few people I wouldn't mind shooting. Err, I mean, I think I saw a monkey next to do that guy that screwed me out of 100grr..yea..a monkey.. |
|
|
|
|
|
Pages: [1] 
|
|
|
 |
