Christ has been among us for 44 years

[Gutboy Barrelhouse]

Yep it's true, and he made some movies too.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007030603,00.html


And leader David Miscavige believes that in future, Cruise, 44, will be worshipped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness of the religion.

A source close to the actor, who has risen to one of the church’s top levels, said: “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure.

[stray]

If anyone from the 20th century should be "deified" (and I am NOT saying they should), it should be Gandhi, MLK, and Einstein. I mean....At least they did something worth talking about. Tom Cruise is such a waste of time --- Even for a cult.

Hell, as far as shallow entertainers turned demigods go, Elvis still takes the cake.

[Nebu]

I smell someone fishing for a BIG donation to the church of scientology!

[Merusk]

Cruise as Christ, eh.

So who volunteers to martyr him? 

[Roac]

A source close to the actor, who has risen to one of the church’s top levels, said: “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure.

It's modern day so crosses are out.  Hey, we could send him to Guantanimo.  Or maybe Iraq.  Either sounds like great cannidates for the bloody death of a religious zealot.  Is there some official process they need to enter to submit themselves as considered?  I just hope it doesn't include reality programming.

[geldonyetich]

I'm feeling more optimistic upon hearing Tom Cruise is the best thing Scientology has going for it.

[Riggswolfe]

I was going to make a smart-ass "Then kill him like Christ" comment but one of the people posting comments on that article already did it for me:

Cruise 'is Christ' of Scientology
Tom Cruise may well be the Messiah.... But this is the test - -flog him to within an inch of his life and then hang him on a cross until his lungs collapse and he is very dead (pierce his lungs with a spear so we know his lungs have filled up with water - scientifically prove he is dead beyond a shadow of a doubt), then bury him in a cave sealed with a huge boulder cutting off the air supply, just in case, and armed guards to do away with any monkey business from his followers...
    Then if he comes back from the dead, says he is the messiah, ascends on a cloud into heaven in front of 300 amazed people who then spread through the world and multiply to form a new religion that ultimately becomes the underpinning philosophy of the majority of the civilised world for centuries, well, give him the gold BluePeter messiah badge....

So yeah, I volunteer to help martyr him. I'd pay money to see Tom have to carry his cross up the Hollywood Hills and be crucified right below the Hollywood sign.

[Signe]

That would take ages.  Let's hurry and just staple him to the Y.  We can taunt him at our leisure.

[Murgos]

I'm not sure what's more disturbing, the crying christ smiley with the crown of thorns and blood spraying out or the smiley Longinus with the big shit eating grin.

[dusematic]

He HAS made some pretty sweet movies though.

[Strazos]

From the man with a Cruise-centered avatar.

[dusematic]

Natch.

[tazelbain]

That makes Suri the Holy Grail.

[Strazos]

I thought the Da Vinci Code told us that Mary Magdalene was the Grail. So, that being the case, Katie Holmes is actually the Holy Grail.


...eww.

[tazelbain]

Learn to read, noob.

[dusematic]

The Da Vinci Code stipulated that the last scion was the holy grail.

[Lt.Dan]

I thought scientology was all about the aliens in our souls and not the second coming Jesu Christi?

[Signe]

That's right.  Scientology is all about the aliens and Christianity is all about the vagina.

[dusematic]

I thought scientology was all about the aliens in our souls and not the second coming Jesu Christi?

Yes.  Miscaivage is just pandering to The Tom's ego.

[tazelbain]

The Da Vinci Code stipulated that the last scion was the holy grail.

Not only that, but MM couldn't have Royal Blood.  She was not a descendant of Jesus.

On April 18, 2006 Katie gave birth to a baby girl named Suri. Cruise stated that the name derives from the Hebrew word for "princess", which language experts say is not correct. [15] (See also Sarah.) She is the first child for Holmes and third for Cruise, who (as previously mentioned) has two adopted children with Nicole Kidman.[17]

And Sarah was the Scion's name in DVC, creepy.

[WayAbvPar]

That's right.  Scientology is all about the aliens and Christianity is all about the vagina.

I think you may have mistaken a church for a pr0n theatre. If not, I wanna go with you some Sunday. I will wear my best raincoat and socks.

[sinij]

Le art. We need to add this smiley to boards standard set.