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Topic: Now when my wife leaves me, it'll be like she never did. (Read 2491 times)
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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Accessories for Lonely MenNoam Toran designed eigth (concept) Accessories for Lonely Men that recreate some of the nice and bad aspects of a relationship. My favourite ones: During the night, the Sheet Stealer winds the bedclothes up into a tube attached to the side of the bed. Once woken by the cold, the sleeper can pull the sheet out again and reclaim it for himself. Once placed on the body, the steel finger of the Chest Hair Curler rotates gently, playing with his chest hair, while Shared Cigarette is intended to be used after a solitary sex act: it has two holes, one for cigarette, and the other for exhaling smoke. The rapid-fire Plate Thrower, on the other hand, is to be used in moments of high passion. The collection also includes a pair of cold feet like objects to place in the bed, an alarm clock that wakes you up by flicking a strand of hair across your face, and a device that expels breath-like bursts of warm air, to be placed on the pillow (picture above). All of them could work perfectly for Lonely Girls as well. I'll just pass on the Chest Hair Curler. |
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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If they really wanted one for the Lonely Girl they should make a "Boner Poker" that randomly pokes you in the thigh when you're sleeping.
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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If they really wanted one for the Lonely Girl they should make a "Boner Poker" that randomly pokes you in the thigh when you're sleeping.
That's not random, baby. |
Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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And it's not supposed to be the thigh.
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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What, is that thing a heat-seeking missile? When you're asleep it is still awake?
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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There's a reason men are said to think with their dicks.
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WayAbvPar
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If they really wanted one for the Lonely Girl they should make a "Boner Poker" that randomly pokes you in the thigh when you're sleeping.
You act as thought we have some control over this. They are nearly as big a mystery to men as they are women. We can't hope to control it- all we can try to do is contain it. |
When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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tazelbain
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6603
tazelbain
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Like the Hulk....
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"Me am play gods"
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Furiously
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7199
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Next thing you will tell me is you have never heard of deadly sperm buildup....
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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Another item for the Lonely person in general is soap that comes complete with its own dark 'n curlies.
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Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602
Rrava roves you rong time
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Personally, when jabbing my girlfriend with my genitals as if to say "Hey, look what I still have!" I usually aim for the lower back, just over the butt. I think over the years she's actually gone numb in that spot, as she doesn't seem to notice anymore. Or she pretends not to notice.
Ah, the wonder that is the male psyche. So complex, and yet, so very very even more complex.
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That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
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NiX
Wiki Admin
Posts: 7770
Locomotive Pandamonium
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What, is that thing a heat-seeking missile?
If you wear ice packs in certain areas the guidance gets thrown off. Make your you cover your eye's though! |
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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Ah, the subtlety of the Boner Poke. Personally, I'm kind of a fan, but my girlfriends complain.
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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GO FOR THE EYES, BOO!
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Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542
The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid
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Fear the Backstab!
"Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion
"Hell is other people." -Sartre
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