Have you ever needed a drink THIS badly?

[WayAbvPar]

Article

OWWIE! I can't even imagine the mindset that gets someone to this stage, for both the man and the woman. OTOH, I learned something today. Not something useful, but something.

Someone with more time and creativity needs to rewrite the Steve Perry tune 'Oh Sherrie' to make it match this.

[HaemishM]

How exactly does one come up with this procedure, then figure out the right amounts to do it in?

I mean, why not just do the old bum's way of soaking day-old bread in kerosene, smoothing over some peanut butter and going to town? Were the throat problems so bad he couldn't stand it that way?

"I'm gonna get licquered up tonight! Honey, get me the tube!"

[Nebu]

How exactly does one come up with this procedure, then figure out the right amounts to do it in?

Actually, using simple pharmacokinetics calculations you can come up with an approximate dosage given the assumed rate of absorbtion.  As I think about it, I assume that this was a rhetorical question and I now look like an idiot for answering it.

[Paelos]

As much fun as packing liquor into my ass sounds, I think i'll go with the conventional method of on the rocks. And btw, one would imagine that not swallowing would be a good time to kick that nasty drinking habit, not have your spouse pump you full of 3 liters of wine. Seriously. 3 LITERS! That's basically downing a full bottle of Carlo Rossi table wine, which isn't a good idea in your stomach, let alone your rectum.

[WayAbvPar]

That's basically downing a full bottle of Carlo Rossi table wine, which isn't a good idea in your stomach, let alone your rectum.

Rectum? It killed 'em!

[Calantus]

That is hilarious. I think when you start needing to shove alchohol up your ass to get a fix, you are far overdue for seeking help.

I can just imagine getting to the scene as a cop and asking wtf happened... how would one keep a straight face as she explained it?

[Signe]

I don't drink very much... maybe a glass of wine or a drink at dinner out once or twice a year... but I would consider smoking a cig with my butt to avoid tobacco breath.  I've cut down an enormous amount, but I just can't seem to make that final break.  It's to the point that my sense of taste and smell have returned and I can smell me again.  Bleah.  Just this morning I gargled until my mouth ached and I wash my hands raw everytime I cheat.

I'm so weak.  :(

[HaemishM]

How exactly does one come up with this procedure, then figure out the right amounts to do it in?

Actually, using simple pharmacokinetics calculations you can come up with an approximate dosage given the assumed rate of absorbtion.  As I think about it, I assume that this was a rhetorical question and I now look like an idiot for answering it.

Yes, that is correct. Of course, given that these two actually thought squirting booze up someone's backside was a good enough idea to repeat it, I don't imagine they could work out a fucking postal exam, much less simple pharmacokinetics calculations.

[Fargull]

I am not Jack's complete lack of suprise.

[Paelos]

simple pharmacokinetics calculations.

FLAGAN?

[stray]

Just this morning I gargled until my mouth ached and I wash my hands raw everytime I cheat.

I'm so weak.  :(

But did you wake up and gargle first?

What I mean is, the first thing I do when I wake up is light a cigarette -- it's top priority before anything else. It comes before I brush my teeth, gargle, clean up, or eat breakfast. I'll even light up before considering that I need to take a piss.

Don't feel bad, I'm pretty sure that I'm much weaker than you.

[Sky]

And now, for your moment of Zen:

I would consider smoking a cig with my butt to avoid tobacco breath.

[Hanzii]

I don't drink very much... maybe a glass of wine or a drink at dinner out once or twice a year... but I would consider smoking a cig with my butt to avoid tobacco breath. (

I once saw a lady who could do that.
... come to think of it, that wasn't her butt... and she was no lady.

[Paelos]

I started to think, wow this is headed somewhere bad now. Then I remembered the thread was about wine up the bum. There's really nothing good that comes of that anyway.

[schild]

Damn your Transmet avatar. I was about to make one. Sigh.

[Strazos]

I would like to thank the guy for peacefully removing himself from the gene pool, kthx.

[Samwise]

Good point, Straz... have the Darwin Awards folks been notified?  :)

[SurfD]

Not sure if that would qualify for a darwin.  Dosent the darwin awards require you remove yourself from the genepool without outside help? Since this guys wife did 90% of the work, I dont think it would count.  Maybe only an Honourary Darwin?

[Ookii]

Elliot in the Morning on DC101 (in DC for people who aren't in the know) was talking about it this morning, they even had a girl call up to talk about how she did it at a party.  Basically while they were talking to her Clear Channel apparently cut their broadcast for a couple minutes, and upon them returning to the air he proceeded to talk about how Clear Channel sucks balls and then eventually walked out or was fired.

I'm not sure if I really see this as a departure from the regular poop talk of the morning "shock jock", and why talking about poop is taboo while other much more risque subjects are allowed.

I believe awhile back they also had some conflict with the FCC for talking about colostomy bags, apparently you can't talk about them but repeatedly tell someone to "kill themself" as he did a couple days ago without any repercussion.

[Strazos]

Fuck Clear Channel and the FCC....

and while I'm at it, you can also fuck Political Correctness. I mean, if it's so "offensive," change the damn channel.

[ClydeJr]

"My husband told me he loved me more than anything in the world except for God," she said. "I'm not ashamed of my husband because I loved him, and I supported him 1,000 percent, whatever he wanted to do. That's the way he went out, and I'm sure that's the way he wanted to go out because he loved his enemas."

The wife is being charged with negilgent homicide. She says he gave himself the enema.

She said he paid $1,000 to study colonics at a school and corresponded with other enema users on the Internet. Not all of his enemas involved liquor, she said.

"He did coffee enemas, he did Castile soap, Ivory soap," she said. "He had enema recipes."

[Signe]

Yikes!  Google returned 96,600 results for "enema recipe".  Lots have to do with coffee.  Many are pervy and seem to be popular with men.  If you wait until you're in your 40s or 50s, you get to have a yearly colonoscopy, anyway.  Isn't that bad enough? 

[HaemishM]

See, I'd have never had the testicular fortitude to look up "enema recipes" on Google and actually click on any of the results.

Coffee? WTF?

[Signe]

Yes.  HUGE amount of recipes for coffee enemas.  I wonder what they taste like.

[Paelos]

Yes.  HUGE amount of recipes for coffee enemas.  I wonder what they taste like.

Thanks for raping my mind before lunch.

[MrHat]

Yes.  HUGE amount of recipes for coffee enemas.  I wonder what they taste like.

Going in or coming out?

*ducks*

[SirBruce]

Aren't you all glad I'm not posting in this thread?

Bruce

[HaemishM]

Yes, keep it up.