f13.net

Okay, if one of the admins wants he can move all the food talk from Stray's Big Win thread over here. Otherwise, we can talk about food and exchange recipes. Yay!

To begin, I'll discuss the current holder of my "Best Dinner EVAR" award, which I made for Sauced's brother's birthday last spring.

Menu:

Venison tenderloin en croute with oyster mushroom duxelle
Pan-roasted herbed new potatoes (with fresh thyme and marjoram from the garden)
Sauteed mustard greens with orange zest and bacon
Mocha-walnut cake with whipped cream

I made all of these from scratch (except the puff pastry dough for the en croute - seriously, who has the time?), and it was delightful. Sauced's brother Joe is a chef and so I like to bring my A game when he and the fam come over for dinner.

How do you cook knowing a professional chef is coming over?  That's like pressure and stuff.  I'm surprised you don't just say fuck it and order pizza.   :-D

I started to merge the threads, then lost interest. Only a couple of actual recipes in the original anyway.


As long as you don't advocate putting ketchup in macaroni and cheese or other culinary crimes against humanity, this should be a fun thread. On the bleu cheese vibe, here is a yummy one my wife makes (some in the fridge now, as a matter of fact)-

 1 medium head green cabbage, cored and shredded by hand or in a food processor
 2 medium carrots, shredded
 1/4 cup finely chopped sweet white onion
 1/2 cup cider vinegar
 3 tablespoons sugar
 Salt
 1/2 cup mayonnaise
 1/2 cup sour cream
 1/3 cup crumbled mild blue cheese
 Freshly ground pepper to taste
In a large bowl, place cabbage, carrots and onion. In small saucepan, stir vinegar, sugar and 1 teaspoon salt. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Pour over cabbage, toss well and let stand 15 minutes.

Drain cabbage well in a colander; return to bowl.

Add mayonnaise, sour cream, blue cheese, and salt and pepper to taste. Toss to mix. Cover and refrigerate at least 30 minutes before serving. Makes 8 to 10 servings.


Not sure if this is her exact recipe, but it looks close. Yummy stuff.

Cooking is something I've loved to do since I was a kid. I used to pretend I was sick in middle school so I could stay home and practice my souffles. I've been afraid that doing it professionally would ruin my love for it, though. However! Sauced and I are planning to open a B&B when we retire (hopefully at around age 50), like in Happiness of the Katakuris.  :lol:

Joe (the bro) and I love talking shop. We planned the menu for last Christmas and the two of us prepared a five course dinner for 20 people (none of whom I was actually related to). It was hell of fun. We made:

Osso bucco (his recipe)
Gnocchi with white truffle cream sauce (his recipe, my seasoning additions)
Acorn squash stuffed with pecans, apples and pears with orange-bourbon sauce and gorgonzola (my recipe)
Citrus-zested haricots-verts (my recipe)
Hazelnut-maple torte for dessert (his pastry chef buddy hooked us up)

I feel like there was something else, too, but needless to say it was the most awesomest fancy-pants Christmas dinner ever.

(Then, because I'm such a cheapskate, I saved all the veal bones and made veal demi at home later)

Yay, FOOD!

I love cole slaw, The Jesus. The one my mom made was very similar, but instead of sour cream and blue cheese, she added apples and raisins. (and no onions or carrots). I've since started adding finely minced broccoli to mine.

I'm more of a German cole slaw guy.  Mmmm.  Come to think of it, I like German potato salad better than the mayonaisse stuff too.

My initial recipe is very simple, but it gets gourmet results.

1 New York Strip steak (preferrably prime grade)
Coarse Salt and Pepper or other steak seasonings
Butter
Gorgonzola crumbles

Season steak and grill as desired and remove
Have melted butter ready (microwave)
Spoon melted butter over hot steak
Sprinkle gorgonzola crumbles over steak
Serve.

By the way, I think is saw WayAbvPar on Battlefield 2 last night. I play as "OldHurty".

Was I laying in a pool of my own blood and innards? That is my usual pose.

You mean sauerkraut?  :wink:

German potato salad kicks ass. Vinegar ist gut.

Mmm....butter and cheese on red meeeeeaaaat. I made hamburgers the other day that were pretty kickass.

Season ground beef (get the kind with 15% fat, not the uber-lean kind) with kosher salt, fresh cracked pepper and a splash of Worcestershire sauce. Mix and form patties, but do not overwork the meat! Note: I like to make huge burgers, so I use about 1/2-3/4 cup of meat per patty, and then press em' into patties that are about 1/2" thick and 6" across. They always shrink up when you cook 'em anyway.
Fold four pieces of bacon in half lengthwise so they form a "v", and cook until chewy-crispy in a saute pan over med-high heat. Remove and set on paper towels to drain. Do not drain fat from pan.
Add about a cup of sliced mushrooms and about a half cup of minced onions to the bacon fat and cook for about 10-15 minutes until browned. Remove from pan and set aside with bacon.
Cook patties to desired doneness, and on final flip add sliced cheese (med cheddar is good for this)
On bun smear a little mayo, dijon and barbeque sauce on one side, and guacamole on the other. Add lettuce and tomato if you want. Stack the bacon and sauteed mushrooms and onions on the burger and prepare to have your toes curl. This recipe makes two burgers.

If you wanna do this with ground turkey and turkey bacon instead, it's pretty much just as good, but you'll hafta add a little butter for cooking the onions and mushrooms.

Nice. I had something almost identical to that my first 4th BBQ (went to 3).

I do love the burgers cooked at home.  Going to be sad I don't get to take my grill to MD.

I have some recipies for some kick ass Lebanese meals from my mom and grandma, but lack the enthusiasm to post them.

Not at the moment I saw you. I was too busy running off to lay down in my own pool of blood. I am cannon fodder on a lot of servers, and I have a slight lifetime death vs. kill deficiti. C 'est la mort.

I'd post some stuff in here, but I'm more greasy spoon cook than chef. Looks like more gourmet fare than I can stomach :P Actually, I used to cook more complicated stuff when I had a live-in girlfriend, but I stopped that shit years ago. Hopefully the new girl doesn't turn into a bitter nag so she can move in at some point and I can fatten her up.

Example of my crude yumminess: We had some nice kebabs for the 4th. Marinated some chicken chunks in my house dressing (basically an italian dressing with various spicies). Chopped up some bell peppers (red and yellow) and vidalia onions. Skewer them as follows: red pepper/onion/garlic clove/chicken/yellow pepper/onion/garlic clove/chicken/etc. Had steak the same way a week ago.

I'm all about simple recipes that are based on the flavor of the ingredients, without adding too much to the basic flavors. Except maybe heat, love me some jalapeno.

I'm gruntzilla, but I tend to avoid pools of my own blood. Because my body parts are plastered against the wall, nicely out of the gore.

My brother is a gourmet chef, who used to have a star in the Guide Michelin - I make better pizza than him, and he admits it ;-)
(so the answer to your question is: Find one thing your really good at and keep working on it... I'm also beginning to surpass him in breadmaking)

What are these "recipes" you speak of?  I'm generally of the "add things till it tastes good" school of cooking.   :rock:  Of course, most of what I make at home is either salad, soup, or stirfry... making baked goods up as you go along doesn't work quite as well.   :|  And I've tried to avoid baked goods lately, since I tend to gain weight very quickly when I'm on a baking kick.  Mmm... pie...

Don't make me ask my mother for recipes, or else I'll automatically win.

Even food in expensive restaraunts, both in the US and abroad, don't measure up to what I can get at home for free.

pwnage

Go wave your mother's kitchen-peen somewhere else.

Heh, I always wanted to write a cookbook that tells people how to do that (add things til they taste good). I want to call the book Cooking From the Hip (instead of "shooting from the hip", not "how to cook from someone who's hip"). It'd basically teach people how to shop properly and how to taste, basic skills and flavor combos from various culinary regions (e.g. love Chinese? Always have soy sauce, hoisin sauce, sesame oil and garlic in your cupboard, and keep a knob of ginger in your freezer). It would allow the inexperienced chef to basically whip up some magic from whatever dregs they have in their kitchen. And it'd also focus on how being a cheapskate can be the best thing that ever happened to your palate. I've become such a food snob since I started making my own stocks a coupla years ago. It makes a huge difference when you taste jambalaya made with homemade shrimp stock compared to canned chicken broth.

(Edit: one caveat to this, though, is that I always have a freezer bag of shrimp shells or half a roasted chicken carcass in my freezer which takes up a lot of room)

Baking I never got very much into, except for biscuits and cornbread. You're right, no experimentation really possible unless you have a degree in chemistry. I have diddled a little with using different substances to leaven my cornbread (like sour cream instead of buttermilk, but trying to match pH to react with baking soda is hard), with mixed results. Sour cream actually made a very dense, somewhat tough cornbread, which was too bad. I usually just stick with the recipe and add a combo of milk, melted butter and half 'n' half instead of buttermilk (which I never buy). You can try adding wheat germ to your baked goods. Since it's very high in fibre it reduces the number of net carbs in the dish, and makes you feel full longer (so you don't carbo load and crash, which may be one of my favorite hobbies).

Tonight I'm making a big lasagne with hot Italian sausage, a bunch of cheese and veggies (sun dried tomatoes, olives, mushrooms, spinach and brocolli). Rainy weather makes me jones for casseroles like you wouldn't believe.

Somebody already beat you to it (though I don't know if the book is any good):

How to Cook Without a Book : Recipes and Techniques Every Cook Should Know by Heart (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0767902793/qid=1120865264/sr=1-2/ref=sr_1_2/104-5532048-2070366?v=glance&s=books)

Chili Verde--

Start with:

* 2-3 pounds of pork (I generally use pork steak)
* 1 entire bulb of garlic, smashed and chopped ('cuz individual cloves are for pussies)
* 1/2 yellow onion, chopped

Cook pork in a large pot over medium-high heat; once fat has cooked off, drain and add garlic and onions. Continue cooking until meat is browned and garlic/onion carmelize.

Turn heat down to medium or medium-low, add 4 1/2 cups of water, and simmer covered for ~40 minutes (or until pork is tender.)  You can do this part in a pressure-cooker if you want it extra-tender, but it takes forever to cook this as it is, and it's kinda overkill.

While that's cooking, combine in a pot or pan:

* 1 jalapeno, finely chopped
* 1 7-oz can diced green chilis
* 1 stick celery, finely chopped
* 6-8 tomatillos, finely chopped (or use the smushy ones from a can, if you can't get fresh)
* 2 anaheim peppers, finely chopped
* juice from one lime, fresh-squeezed
* (optional) some parsley, if the smell of the garlic is freaking you out.  Also cilantro if you like, but goddamn, I hate that stuff...
* spices--this is the hard part, I measure by taste--chili powder, cumin, and oregano.  Heavier on the chili powder, medium on the cumin, lighter on the oregano; that's the closesr I can get.  Experiment, eh?

Add a little oil and cook over low heat for a few minutes.

Dump the veggies into the pot with the meat and simmer covered over medium-low heat, stirring occasionally.  Takes approximately 20-30 minutes to blend nicely, which is about the same time it takes to cook up some refried beans and some yellow or Mexican rice.  I use Vigo's, comes in foil packets, but pick one you like (or go nuts and make your own).

Mix yourself up a burrito with the chili verde, beans, rice and your choice of cheese, and pig out.

Yummers!

Hey, Stray, if you pop in, can you get you're mom's recipe for Pad Thai? I want a real Thai recipe, not the stuff I keep finding on teh intarweb recipe indexes. Tell her to not dumb it down, and give the Thai names of ingredients if necessary (I know what Nuoc Cham is (although that's Vietnamese)). I've got the curries nailed to the floor, and my peanut sauce is pretty good, but I haven't found a good Pad Thai recipe yet.

Edit: Hey, while we're at it, if any of you come from ethnic backgrounds, can you pass any yo mama recipes this way? I'm pretty white bread and the only German thing my grandma ever made was apfel kuchen.

Those bastards!

"I shoulda gotten a pah-ent!" (you know which commercial I'm talking about? Hilarious!)

Leave the broccoli out, and I will be down for dinner- sounds fantastic. Why people like to cook broccoli is beyond me. It tastes delicious raw; apply any heat to it at all and it starts to taste and smell as if it just spent 12 hours in Lance Armstrong's Spandex during a vigorous mountain climbing leg. Same with cauliflower- raw is yummy, while cooked it tastes like asscrack casserole.

Cauliflower takes on amazing depths of sweetness and earthiness if you toss it in a little olive oil and sprinkle it with salt and crushed garlic, then roast it for 30 minutes. Not mushy, not all asscracky. Broccolli I usually leave al dente so it stay bright and crisp.

It actually can be quite good on the grill with a bit of lemon juice.

On the set of the Tenacious D movie. (http://media.themoviebox.net/movies/TenaciousD/SetVisit/index.html)

I hate recipes.

I'm sure she never gets shit about that name.

Just because I am an amazing cook. A recipe from my treasure trove of recipes:  :rock:


Serves 4-6 Depending

Ingredients Needed:

1/2 pound Mussels (Cleaned and Scrubbed, and if they are open before you use them, throw those away)
1/4 pound Sturdy Fish (Red Snapper, Mullet, Sea Bass)
1/4 pound Calamari (Squid, Stupids - Make sure it is well cleaned)
1/4 pound littleneck clams (In their shells is fine, the same applies here as did to mussels)
2 cups of a fresh tomato sauce (You can make this sauce very simply. Crushed Tomato, 2 cans, crushed fresh garlic, basil, 2 tsps of olive oil heated in a pan just so, and then jarred. This will be the best sauce you have ever had. Stop with the CANNED stuff.)
1 small red onion
1 cup of fresh, chopped tomato
1 1/2 cups of a good white wine (Use only what you would actually drink)
2 tsps Crushed Red Pepper Flakes
Fresh Parsley and 2 cloves of garlic.
1 pound of Linguini


Now comes the fun part.
On MODERATE heat

In a sauce pan, combine olive oil, red onion, red pepper flakes and 2 garlic cloves, minced until they are soft. Once soft, add tomato sauce, wine, crushed tomato until it comes to a boil, then add the sturdy fish and calamari. Cook for two minutes. Add Clams in their shells and Mussels, cover and cook until the clams and mussels open.

Once the Linguini is cooked to Al Dente and drained, put it into a large serving bowl and simply cover pasta with the Zuppa di pesce (Fish soup) and sprinkle fresh parsley.

Enjoy.

Here's a nice pasta salad to bring to your Summer potlucks. I don't remember which cookbook I got this from.

Pasta with Smoked Salmon and Fresh Dill

Serves 6 - 8

1 pound pasta bow ties (farfalle)
2 cloves garlic
1 red bell pepper, julienned
1 yellow bell pepper, julienned
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
6 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 pound smoked salmon, cut in strips (see Other Choices)
1/3 cup chopped fresh parsley
1/3 cup chopped fresh dill
coarsely ground black pepper

Optional Ingredients

2 tablespoons sour cream or heavy cream
2-4 tablespoons capers
1 small red onion, chopped
freshly grated Parmesan cheese


1. Bring a large pot of water to boil. Add pasta and cook until tender. Drain immediately. Transfer pasta to a large mixing bowl.

2. While the pasta is cooking, make the dressing. Place garlic and half of 1 red pepper in a blender or in a food processor fitted with a steel blade; pulse until chunky.

3. Add mustard, vinegar, and lemon juice, and process until combined. Gradually add olive oil and sour cream or heavy cream, if desired.

4. Pour dressing over pasta. Add salmon, peppers, parsley, dill, and, if desired, capers and red onion. Mix together.

5. Add pepper to taste. Top with parmesan, if desired.


Other Choices

This dish is particularly good if you grill the smoked salmon. Grill the salmon on an open flame for about 2 minutes on each side. After grilling, you can wrap salmon in aluminum foil and refrigerate up to a day in advance. Slice the fish into strips just before you're ready to use it.


Cooking Notes

• I prefer the smoked salmon from "gourmet" grocery stores like Draeger's in the San Francisco Bay Area. The packaged smoked salmon you get from your typical supermarket like Safeway is usually not so good.
• You don't need to use so much olive oil in the dressing (I usually use 2 tablespoons.) since it coats fine even if you don't make it a real emulsified vinaigrette. You should probably use at least a little since it helps smooth out the taste of the dressing.
• I don't use any of the optional ingredients since the dish is plenty tasty without them, though someday I might try adding the capers and red onion.
• I usually leave out the parsley. It doesn't really add any flavor so it's mostly just for color which you already get from the dill.
• I'm not sure why the receipe only uses the red bell pepper in the dressing. It might be because red pepper flecks show up better on the pasta than yellow pepper flecks. However, I like having equal amounts of the julienned peppers in the dish so I use both in the dressing (1/4 of each).
• It helps to let the dish sit for a while (like in the refrigerator) before serving to allow the ingredients to blend together; the dressing, especially, mellows out with time.
• Be careful cutting the smoked salmon -- it's slippery!

Surlyboi's pan-seared tuna with wasabi-ginger glaze

4 6 oz. fresh Ahi tuna steaks, about 3/4-inch thick

vegetable oil

sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

8 Tbsp. cold unsalted butter

3 scallions, thinly sliced

1-2 Tbsp. fresh lime juice

3 Tbsp. soy sauce

1-2 Tbsp. prepared wasabi

1-2 Tbsp. grated ginger

Brush tuna steaks on both sides with the oil and season with salt and pepper.

Combine the butter, onion, lime juice, soy sauce, ginger and wasabi in a small pan.

Heat a heavy, nonstick frying pan over high heat. Place the tuna in the pan and sear until crispy and brown. Turn over and sear the other side. Be careful not to overcook the tuna. It’s best rare to medium rare.

While the tuna is cooking, heat the butter mixture over low heat, stirring constantly until smooth and emulsified.

Serve the tuna immediately, drenched with the glaze in a bowl over a bed of soba or udon noodles and a random field green like baby spinach or arugula.

A couple winners in here already, going to have to print some of this.

Oysters on the Grill:

Rinse and then throw a bunch of fresh oysters, in the shell, on to the BBQ at med/high heat (depending how hot your grill gets)

Melt butter in a small pot, and sautee some onions, green onions, or scallions in it. Whatever you got.

When the oysters start to crack open, grab em off and shuck open the shell (careful - hot water) Put back on the grill in the half-shell.

Add a splash of the butter mixture, and then one tablespoon of tequila on each. Let it spill over and catch flame. Flambe a few seconds then blow out. Add a splash of Tobasco sauce. Cook based on how slimy you like your oysters, adding more butter and tequilla as needed to keep emfrom drying out.

Ritz and Nutella.

1 can of Nutella
Random number of Ritz crackers

Spread Nutella on Ritz crackers.

Enjoy.

Just from the Stray bingo/cheese thread:

1 baguette
1 package roquefort
1 or 2 pears
1 package walnuts or pecans (if they're whole, break them up some)

Slice the baguette at an angle producing 1/2" to 1" thick sllices.
Slice the pear thin. Perhaps sprinkle it with lemon juice to prevent it from browning.
Toast each side of the bread for maybe a couple minutes in a broiler.
Place 1 slice of pear on each bread slice.
Top bread slice with crumbled roquefort.
Top bread slice with walnut or pecan crumbles.
Place in broiler until chese is melted or bread top is golden brown.

Serve as an appetizer or as part of the main course.  Tastes like it's about 200x times harder to make than it actually is. 

I don't have them here nor memorized, but if I get a chance I'll post the following recipes: my mom's enchilladas and also a pork taco recipe that kicks all kinda ass.  Both somewhat easy to make.

I found a great recipe for ribs baked in an oven if you don't have access to a big enough grill to BBQ them properly. I got this from Alton Brown (from the Food Network) and modified the rub slightly. Note: These are not BBQ ribs since BBQ implies smoke.

2 whole slabs pork baby back ribs

Dry Rub:
8 tablespoons light brown sugar, tightly packed
3 tablespoons kosher salt
1 tablespoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon Tony Chachere's Original Cajun Seasoning
1/2 teaspoon jalapeno seasoning
1/2 teaspoon Old Bay Seasoning
1/2 teaspoon rubbed thyme
1/2 teaspoon onion powder

Braising Liquid:
1 cup white wine
2 tablespoons white wine vinegar
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon honey
2 cloves garlic, chopped

Preheat oven to 250 degrees.

In a bowl, combine all dry ingredients and mix well. Place each slab of baby back ribs on a piece of heavy-duty aluminum foil, shiny side down. (Try to use the extra wide foil. If you use the standard size, you'll probably need to use 2 pieces folded together to form one wide piece. Unfortunately this could lead to leaks...) Sprinkle each side generously with the dry rub. Get all the sides and edges covered well. You don't have to put as much on the underside of the ribs. Pat the dry rub into the meat. Fold the foil up around the ribs and bring the two edges together over the ribs, then fold it over to seal it up. Roll the two ends up to seal that. Refrigerate the ribs for a minimum of 1 hour (I usually refrigerate overnight).

In a microwavable container, combine all ingredients for the braising liquid (Make sure you use good wine: "If you won't drink it, don't cook with it.") Microwave on high for 1 minute.

Place the ribs in the foil on a baking sheet. Open one end of the foil on each slab. You'll want it to look like a big silver mouth bass sitting on the sheet with its mouth open. Pour half of the braising liquid into each foil packet. Tilt the baking sheet in order to equally distribute the braising liquid. Braise the ribs in the oven for 2 1/2 hours. You'll need to open the foil and check the meat to make sure its tender enough.

Take the ribs out of the oven and get a medium saucepot out. Pick up one set of ribs (careful, its hot as hell) and set it on top of the pot so the middle sags a little into the saucepan. Using some kitchen scissors or a knife, make a small slit in the bottom of the foil so the braising liquid drains into the pot. Put the ribs (still in the foil) back on the baking sheet and do the same for the other set of ribs.

Reduce the braising liquid over heat by half or until of a thick syrup consistency. Still on the baking sheet, unwrap the foil to expose the top of the ribs. Brush a good coating of the glaze onto the ribs (don't use all the glaze). Place under the broiler just until the glaze caramelizes lightly. This takes no time at all (less than 30 secs) so watch carefully. Slice each slab into 2 rib bone portions. Place the remaining hot glaze into a bowl and toss the rib portions in the glaze.

Best served with beer and a bib.

Easily one of the top 5 coolest nerds of all time. I :heart: Good Eats.

My favorite non-cookbook book about food:

On Food and Cooking (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0684800012/qid=1121112709/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/102-0298250-8360104)

An amazing book, very interesting.

Me too. AB is my #1 Celebrity Crush


I'm halfway through this one. An excellent read. What Einstein Told His Cook (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/sim-explorer/explore-items/-/0393011836/0/101/1/none/purchase/ref%3Dpd%5Fsxp%5Fr0/104-5532048-2070366) is also very good, as I've mentioned a few times before.

My French friends are in town this week. They brought some amazing wine. I made my famous quesadillas for dinner. This can be prepared on the stove or on the grill. I prefer it on the grill, but it started raining, so there that is. Recipe follows:

Chicken, Nectarine and Gorgonzola Quesadillas (Serves 4 for dinner, or 8-10 as appies)

The Guts:
1 lb. boneless skinless chicken titties (if you're grilling, leave whole; if cooking stovetop slice into very thin strips)
3 nectarines (medium sized), pitted and sliced very thin (~1/8" thick)
1 lb. gorgonzola, sliced very thin
8 burrito-sized tortillas

The Sauce:
1/3 cup olive oil
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1 tsp dijon mustard
1 tbsp fig preserves or honey
1 tbsp black truffle oil (optional - if you don't have it use olive oil, but you can get it pretty cheap at Trader Joe's)
1-2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp fresh basil, chiffonade (that means finely sliced into shreds - stack 4 or 5 leaves and roll like a cigar, then finely slice crosswise)
fat pinch kosher salt (or sea salt, but kosh is better)
several cracks of pepper

I know that sounds like a lot of ingredients, but the flavor isn't too busy, I promise. Whisk dressing in medium-sized bowl until emulsified. Reserve a coupla tbsps of the dressing for drizzling. Marinate chicken in the rest of dressing while you slice the nectarines and gorg.

If grilling, place nectarines on foil that's been sprayed with Pam or sommat to avoid a huge pain in your ass. Place over high heat and grill until nectarines begin to caramelize. If cooking indoors, spray baking sheet and broil until caramelized (a little browned on top). I do this while the chicken is cooking.

Grill chicken over med-high heat until done (use the "hand trick" - touch your ring finger to your thumb and with your other hand feel the fleshy part of your thumb. Feel how hard it feels? That's hpw your chicken breast should feel when it's done. This trick is great for grilling all meat - index finger to thumb is rare, middle finger is med-rare, ring finger is medium and pinky is well done). Slice cooked breast very thin and drizzle with some of the reserved marinade, and mix to coat. If cooking indoors, saute pre-sliced chicken over med-high heat until browned.

Assemble quesadillas: Onto grill or large pan (med to med-high heat) place tortilla, then sliced cheese, then nectarine slices, then chicken, and top with second tortilla. You should be mentally dividing the fillings into fourths so you have enough for all quesadillas. When crispy and browned on the underside CAREFULLY flip without losing your fillings. Pans work good for this because you can just place your hand on top and flip the whole pan, then gently slide the quesadilla back to the pan.

When all of them are done, cut each one into fourths (if for dinner) or eighths (if appies). Drizzle a few drops of remaining dressing on each. Serve with a green salad and a crisp white wine.

BTW - the dressing recipe above is my catch-all marinade/salad dressing. If using with red meat, blackstrap molasses, fresh rosemary and juniper berries are a nice addition. This dressing goes wonderfully with other veined cheeses, pears and walnuts too. Fidget with it to your tastes. I like mine a little on the sweet side, so I usually nudge a little more figs or berries into it. You can drizzle a little creme fraiche with it and it looks wunderbra.

Good Eats is the reason why I miss cable.

Myself, I'm sort of a not-really-cook who struggles to make things like shepard's pies.

For me, this is High Cooking:

Take a very good quality chili, optimally non-sodium.

Mix in plentiful amounts of fritos corn chips.

Add grated cheese, be it cheddar or pepper jack or whatever, to taste.

I think we should have an Alton Brown appreciation thread.

I second that emotion.

(http://www.lanl.gov/orgs/pa/newsbulletin/images/Brown_Alton_fish.jpg)

Meeeee-ow!

You want some really impressive recipies, follow this link:

http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/knudsen2/1.html

When I get out to AZ there's a bunch of recipes from Just Hungry (http://www.justhungry.com/) I'd like to make.

Lucky for you that it will likely be hot enough to cook them all on the sidewalk  :-D

Beef Wellington a la voodoolily (I call this dish "beef tenderloin en croute ("on croot") with oyster mushroom duxelle". Sounds better.)

Background information: This recipe is written as though the reader is a complete novice. No, I don't think you're stupid, I just want to make sure you do this right and get the results you want. I made this with venison and wild oyster mushrooms that I foraged, which made it awesome. Conversely, I used store-bought puff pastry instead of making pastry dough to save myself some effort. I like my beef medium-rare, and this is certainly the best way to serve venison (or buffalo), which is a leaner meat and prone to toughness if cooked much longer. It's important to brown the meat before you put it into the pastry because you can give the meat a chance to "rest" which will minimize the juices leaking all out into the pastry making it soggy. Joy of Cooking skips this step, but it's imperative that you obey me here. Also, by the time the pastry is golden brown and delicious, the meat will be perfect and not bloody or tough. Get the best wild mushrooms you can get to make this dish really special, but if you can't find 'em, portabellas or cremini will work fine."En croute" is French for "in a crust", I think, and duxelle is a traditional mushroom paste commonly used in crepes.

Serve with a petite syrah or a nice shiraz.

Step 1: make the duxelle

8 oz mushrooms, cleaned
1.5 tbsp butter
1 tsp olive oil
2 tsps finely minced shallots
1 tbsp dry sherry or Madiera, or a dry red wine if that's all you have
1/4 cup heavy cream
S&P to taste
pinch nutmeg

Mince the fuck out of the mushrooms until they're practically a fine powder (if you have a food processor you're golden). Squeeze small handfuls (1/4 cup at a time) to get all the moisture out of 'em to extract the bitter juices. They'll be in a solid lump if you've done it right. Heat butter and oil in a medium skillet over medium-high heat until the foam subsides. Add shallots and cook for a minute or two. Add mushrooms and cook, stirring often until they've begun to brown, 5 or 6 minutes. Add sherry and cook until completely evaporated. Turn off stove and add cream, S&P and nutmeg. Set aside to cool. If you can afford it, you can add a few ounces of foie gras to this mixture which will likely lead to you getting oral sex from the person you're serving this to.

Step 2: prepare beef

1 center-cut filet of beef or chateaubriand (or 1 venison tenderloin), trimmed of fat and tendony thingies
salt and pepper to taste
2 tsps olive oil

In a pan large enough to accomodate the beef, heat the olive oil over medium-high heat. Salt and pepper the beef, and gently lay the meat in the pan. The point here is to get a nice sear and some browing (maillard) on the meat before you put it in the pastry. After a minute, using tongs, roll the beef and repeat until browned on all sides (including the two ends). Remove meat with tongs and set on a large plate to rest for 10 minutes. DO NOT RINSE OUT PAN. You'll use it later, and you want all the yummy brown bits that the French call "fond" for the sauce.

Step 3: Assembly

1 package puff pastry sheets, thawed
1 large egg
1 tbsp water
1 tbsp milk

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Whisk egg, water and milk together into an eggwash. Set aside. Lay out pastry dough on a large baking sheet that's been lined with parchment (or lightly grease the baking sheet). Spread the duxelle onto the meat to make a layer about 1/4" thick that completely surrounds the meat. Fold the pastry gently up and around the meat, wrapping into a neat little package. Trim any excess dough. Roll the package so the seam side is down, and then brush lightly with the egg wash. With a toothpick or skewer, artfully poke two or three evenly-spaced holes in the top of the pastry to allow steam to vent. Slide the masterpiece into the oven and bake until the crust is golden, about 35 minutes.

If you really must ruin your meat by cooking it past medium-rare, then just loosely lay some foil on top when it's brown and finish until a meat thermometer reads the following temperatures:

120-125 for rare
125-130 for medium rare
135-140 for medium

But please, for the love of god, do not cook it past medium or you'll have a big old mess when you try to slice it, and you will not get the oral sex. You shouldn't have to use foil if you're only going to medium-rare or rare. Let sit, uncovered, for 15 to 20 minutes.

Step 4: The Sauce

You should make this while the meat is in the oven, so everything will be done at once.

1 cup beef stock (or broth)
1/2 cup red wine
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1 tsp peppercorns
1 tsp juniper berries
1 tsp allspice berries
4 or 5 cloves
1" piece of cinnamon stick
salt to taste

Heat a small pan (not the one you used to brown the beef) over medium-high heat. Place the spices in the dry pan and kinda shake the pan like you're making popcorn until the spices start to relase their wonderful fragrances. Remove pan from heat and place the meat-browning pan on the burner that's still turned on. Deglaze the pan by stirring the red wine into it, scraping with a wooden spoon and stirring to dissolve all that good stuff. Add the juice from the rested meat, the stock, balsamic and toasted spices and simmer until liquid is reduced by about half. It should be somewhat thick and syrupy. Salt to taste. Strain out spices with a fine-mesh sieve, through cheesecloth or through a coffee filter if that's all you have. This sauce is awesome as a pan gravy for any red meat, by the way.

*    *    *
Slice wellington into inch-thick slices. Drizzle sauce into a puddle near the slices, or however you think it'll look awesome.

Recommended side dishes:
pan-fried new potatoes with parsley
green beans with citrus zest

Make side dishes while the wellington is baking/resting.

Potatoes: boil while wellington is baking, and then finish while it's resting
Figure about two baby potatoes per person. I like Yukon gold, but any small white potato is fine. Peel a strip of the skin of so there's a ring of peeled potato around the middle, with just the tender skin on the ends. Place potatoes in a pot of cold, salted water and bring to boil. Cook the potatoes until fork tender, then strain. Melt a fat pat of butter in a pan until it starts to foam, and add potatoes. Brown on all sides, and sprinkle with fresh minced parley when serving. Crack a little pepper on that shit.

Green beans: cook when wellington is resting
Trim ends off beans, and blanch in boiling water just until they turn bright green. Shock in a bath of ice water to stop cooking. Melt some butter and saute beans for about 3 minutes, basically until they're tender. Add S&P, and sprinkle with fresh orange or lemon zest. To get zest, just use the fine part of a cheese grater (or obviously if you have a microplane zester use it), grating off only the outer, colored part of the rind.

Bon appetit!

You definitely need your own adult cooking show.


Sounds really damned good, btw.

I say, front page it :p

Edit: First add estimated cook time and maybe price/person and then frontpage it.

How very Iron Chef of you.

I have no idea how much a chateaubriand costs (I used venison tenderloin that my dad gave me), but the rest of the groceries, not including wine, should be around ten quid. The recipe serves 6-8, so including the beef (maybe $20?), it's less than ten bucks a person, right? This also assumes you have things like olive oil already in your kitchen. Buy the spices in the bulk section, so you don't end up dropping 5 bucks for a jar of juniper berries. Most newer grocery stores have a bulk herbs and spices section.

I think it took me about an hour to make everything, including prep time, give or take maybe 10-15 minutes. Start thawing the pastry about two hours before you start, or just pop it in the fridge the night before.

voodoolily for the fucking win!

I really am so happy that it turned out well, Mr. Hat. But the sauce came out a little too vinegary? You can always add more beef stock while it's simmering, or right before service (I mean RIGHT before) whisk in a pat of butter. But I'd recommend simply adding more stock and simmer the fuck out of it 'til it's syrupy.

As per a point Mr. Hat made, if you can't find juniper and allspice berries, you can sub a long sprig of fresh rosemary for the juniper and just leave the allspice berries out (although they really are nice if you can get 'em). Just add the rosemary in one piece to the liquid (don't put it in the pan with the other spices to toast).

*   *   *

Sauced and I were at an art opening last night that had the jankiest cracker and sliced apple spread, with $3/bottle wine. It was our friend's show, and I guess the lack of food became an issue at the last minute. I jokingly told them that I'll cater their next opening, but then Sauced and I got to talking and we're thinking "why the fuck not?" So if any of you know people in the catering business who could give me some advice, I am giving very serious consideration to giving it a go on my own.

Just remember that your skills at math is more important than your skills at cooking if you want to make money doing this.

Buying the right amount of ingredients and calculating your prices, so that you actually make money is the hardest part of being a head chef (or running a catering business).

-----
Now I've always been tougt that searing meat should be done at high heat - thet rules out the use of olive oil since it has too low a smoke point (your hero Alton Brown is with me on this).

Anyway, the Joy of Cooking leaves out that part, because it's a myth that you can seal in juices by searing. Searing is done because the maillard adds great taste. This is something that cooks have known for ages and that the recent fad in mixing cooking with science has actually proven to be true. The part about not overcooking the meat in your (otherwise great recipe) is what keeps the juices in - stop the process at the magic moment and let the meat rest and the juices will stay.
Some of the food science guys have taken to making steaks by grilling them on low low heat (50 degrees celcius I think) for several hours instead - the result is pure magic.

My point for pre-browning the meat is that you can let it rest before it gets thrown into the pastry, and so you don't have to overcook the pastry to get the meat done. It's not so much a sear as it is a parcooking. Also, cooking expensive meat over high heat is risky business, and I rarely go above the medium-high/high threshold, no matter what I cook.

FTR, I never said that searing seals in the juices - I said it gains a nice maillard and that resting it before it goes in the pastry minimizes juice leakage. I always end up with a few tablespoons of juice whenever I rest any meat (except fish, but that's another show), and it's better to put it in sauce than to sog up your puff. AB isn't always right, either. I disagree with him about plenty. But I still think he's nifty.  :-)

Well, then just stick to my comments above the line.

There's a lot af nasty logistics going into cooking to make money instead of cooking to make friends.
You have a good taste in food, and if you want to make swanky food for high end catering (which I suppose a gallery opening could well demand) this goes double.
I've seen the profit margins on some of the really expensive places with Guide Michelin mentions... there isn't much room for mistakes in that world.


Fast food - that's where the gold lies.

Luckily since I grew up on the gubment cheese I know how to make most stuff from scratch (e.g., demi glace, stocks, etc.) using scraps. Also, most of what I make is pretty cheap and easy (not labor- or cost-intensive). Factor in ability to do SE Asian cuisine (the cheapest by far) and willingness to do everything myself and I hoping I have something.

But like you said, I'm not really worried about whether or not I can pull it off, it's the business end of things that's daunting.

Remember the key to overcharging for food: silver dollar-sized portions with some stupid design made with dribbled sauce. Bingo, $100/plate!

Gourmet restaurants and chefs bug me. Just make the food and pile it as high as possible, thanks :)

Pfft.  Yes, and down with a Natty Light, right? *gag* *barf*

I like gourmet restaurants.  I like good food presentation.  Yes, I'm one of those people.  I'm somewhat with you on portion size; too little food pisses me off.   Nothing like spending 40 bucks on a dish and you're through the main part in 5 bites.   But too much food can be just as bad if it's presented in a way that makes the meal look ultimately unapetizing.  I see this a lot with thick cuts of meat ("here's your HALF A PIG, sir, would you like some crushed pepper?"), rice dishes,  and Italian dishes.

The best places I've been too around here all seem to have the same thing in common.  Enough food just to fill me up but not make me feel over full, good but not overly artsy or complicated presentation, side dishes that blend well with the meal but don't distract from it, and prices that are somewhat reasonable for the quality of food. I rarely end up taking any of it home in a doggy bag, but I never leave wishing I had gotten more.  This mostly works with bistros and mediterranean/greek food places around here.

That's why I really like the whole "small plates" movement here. A small plate of pasta $5-6, a beet salad $6 or 7, a leg of duck confit with chive mashed potatoes $10-12, you can eat a 3 or 4 course meal for 20 bucks and still have room for dessert! I always have such a hard time deciding what to get anyway, since I love food like boys love pr0n. Sauced is usually game to share with me, unless there's steak (which he'll order 9 times outta 10), then I'm left to my own devices on what to pick.

And Sky, sometimes you take a regular down-home dish like jambalaya, and you give it a little love (home-made prawn stock, good smoked sausage and a few squirts of liquid smoke; corn bread baked in cast rion with bacon fat and fresh corn and jalapenos) and you've created art. That's what gourmet means to me. For me, sometimes presentation simply means a good shred of sharp cheddar and a few drops of Tabasco. Or a pretty bowl. It doesn't need to be all verticality and red pepper roulis with a chiffonade of kefir lime leaf.

I wouldn't pay $.06 for a beet salad. GodDAMN those things are nasty. I could just sprinkle a handful of topsoil on my greens and get the same taste.

OTOH, I am down with some jambalaya. One of my all time favorite dishes.

Heathen.

If it's true gourmet restaurant (and not some gimmicky trendy place designed to fleeces celebrities and oil millionaires), that stuff was immensely expensive to make and a lot of high paid specialists took part in the preparation. In addition to this, you will have enough courses (usually between 5 and 9) to make sure you're absolutely full afterwards. I've eaten in enough of these places to know (usually others pay for me).
The sad part is that done right, the profit made on a true gourmet meal is much less than what a McDonalds make on the same time.

I LOVE sweet, earthy little nuggets of joy that are beets. But if they sit in the fridge too long they do get nasty fibrous and bitter. But all roasted little golden beets with figgy honey dressing and goat cheese? YUM.

I can now never eat anything ever prepared in your kitchen on the off chance that it spent time near a beet. That sucks!

Don't worry, the bright magenta stains usually give it away. I've never cooked a beet that wasn't obviously a beet.

I would come over and eat at your house.  Like, nightly.



Oh, and btw, all the ingrediants I bought plus 2 bottles of 6 dollar wine ran me $100 bucks.

Not too bad since that fucking meat came out BEAUTIFUL.  OTH it sucks for left overs for some reason.

This is some useful stuff.











You know, if I actually cared to cook.

I didn't comment on the kind of food served, rather the presentation. (in the Natty beer thread I did utter my distaste for all things Natty).

The restaurants I tend to eat in will fill you up with great food for $5-10/plate. That matters to someone who works in the public sector for peanuts. But I'll give you the point on multiple courses, that's not a bad idea (if a bit expensive).

Voodoolil, I totally agree with your definition of gourmet, really, though I don't call it that. It's just the term I snagged for the foppish 'artiste' type chefs. Me? I'm a cook, not a chef ;) I was actually quite close to attending culinary school, but gave up the idea after being a short order cook, too much pressure imo, and my timing leaves a lot to be desired (as in timing dishes for a table of eight while also timing dishes for eight other tables...).

But I gotta echo the beet hate. Maybe I've never had them prepared properly, it's a holdover hate from my parents.

I was goofing off in the kitchen last night and made something yummy. Here it is:

Pork loin chops with ginger and roasted grapes
Roasted ducati squash stuffed with apples, walnuts and gorgonzola (I know, I use it all the time but it's one of my favs)
Sauteed mustard greens with bacon and orange zest

Loin chops:
2 pork loin chops (1" thick, about 3" across)
1 tbsp grated fresh ginger
2 small handfuls seedless grapes, chopped coarsely
1/4 c finely minced onion
1/4 c white wine (I keep a bottle of cheapish stuff on top of the fridge for cooking, but NEVER use cooking wine)
kosher salt/black pepper
olive oil

Preheat oven to 350. In a medium saucier (with oven-proof handle!), heat 1 tsp olive oil over med-med high heat (I set it in between med and med high). S&P the chops, rub the ginger on top and lay them in the pan ginger-side up. Shake the pan periodically, and when the chops shake loose that means they have some good maillard and can be flipped. After about 3 minutes of cooking on the other side, deglaze the pan with the wine and dump the grapes and onions on top of the chops. Place pan in oven to pan-roast for about ten minutes or so. I do the finger test to check doneness:

Touch your index finger to your thumb like you're doing the "okay" sign. With your other hand, feel the meat of your thumb. That is what medium-rare feels like. The middle finger to thumb feels like medium, ring finger is medium-well and pinky is well done (or overcooked). This is a handy trick if you're grilling and/or don't want to lose all the meat's juices by piercing it with a thermometer.

Remove from oven when done to your liking and let rest in the pan for five minutes. Plate chops/grapes and drizzle with pan sauce. Le art!

Ducati squash:
These are cute little striped, torpedo-shaped Italian squash but this also works perfectly with acorn squash as a main dish.


1 ducati squash, halved lengthwise and seeded. Roast in 350 degree oven for 45 minutes.

1 tbsp. butter
1 firm, tart apple (like Fuji), cored, peeled and diced into 1/4" dice
1/3 c chopped walnuts or pecans
2 tsp. brown sugar
1/4 c orange juice or apple juice
pinch salt and nutmeg, fatter pinch cinnamon
hearty glug of bourbon or whiskey if you have it
2 tsp. gorgonzola crumbles

Melt butter in small saucier over medium heat. Add apple and saute, stirring often, for five minutes. Add walnuts, brown sugar, oj, seasonings and bourbon and stir. What the hell, take a swig of the bourbon for yourself. You're cooking dinner, so you've earned it. Continue to cook for five more minutes. Spoon into roasted squash halves and sprinkle gorg crumbles on top. Finish roasting in oven for ten minutes. Perfect fall accompanyment to pretty much any meat dish.

Greens:

1 bunch mustard greens (or other bitter greens) stemmed, washed and chopped coarsely
1 slice bacon, chopped finely
1/4 c minced onion
zest from 1 orange
fatty pinch kosher salt
small splash apple cider vinegar

Saute bacon and onions in a large saucepan (that has a fitting lid) over medium-high heat. Stir frequently. When bacon begins to brown add greens and salt and put on the lid. In five minutes (when they begin to wilt) flip the greens with some tongs and turn the heat off. In another minute they should be wilted but still bright green and al dente. Strain out that bitter brownish-green juice in the bottom of the pan and return the greens, adding the zest and the vinegar. Toss to coat. Bon appetit! This is awesome with blackened salmon and cornbread, or pretty much anything. I thought it was good with last night's meal because the other two dishes were on the sweet side, and this balanced the meal out nicely.

mmmm... especially the greens.  I could live on things like mustard greens and rapini.  I'm going try those pork chops sometime soon, too.

I've been making a lot of greens lately since my girlfriend is health conscious (whatever that means, heh). But I like all kinds of food, so it's no big deal to make something 'healthy'.

Ideally I'd make greens in bacon grease, too, but I've been using some evoo to simmer my garlic and diced cherry peppers. Then I toss in spinach greens and let them simmer down to the 'al dente' phase. Strain the juice and use as a bed for the main meal.

Made some chicken florentine the other night and put that over the greens, worked out great. Her favorite, my first attempt. I'd rather be lucky than good ;)

You fail Rachael Ray!

She makes me punchy and stabby. Not sure why, but I just wanna punch her in the face.

I go from wanting to shag her to wanting to choke her and back again every 10 seconds or so. She is really irritating, but there is some quality there that I find appealing somehow. Maybe it is just that she cooks!  :evil:

It's okay, WAP. Just say it - you want to hate-fuck her.

Hehe. There was a study in Playboy (IIRC) once about men's sexual proclivities- 58% of men admitted to having sex with women they actively disliked. I was amazed that the number was so low!

Who? I only know her through comments you folks have made here. Evoo = extra virgin olive oil.

Rachael Ray calls it EVOO and then explains what the acronym means on 99% of her shows. It is really annoying.

Yeah, sorta defeats the purpose of having an acronym. Also, EVOO is four syllables, whereas "olive oil" is just three. I don't bother saying "extra virgin", cuz that's just a given.

Two syllables! E-VOO!

Which Hamburger Helper flavor do you reccommend?  Should I add fresh Dill to that?

That's me.  My cooking journey began when I started having friends over for beer on Friday nights.  I got drunk one night and started throwing stuff together, and it turned out pretty good.  The hot wings I ended up with were 10 times better than the shit we were getting from a local pizza joint, and less than a quarter of the price.  I'll post the recipe to show that simple things can be good too.

12 chicken wings.
Montreal Steak Seasoning (you can use the Spicy kind for what we call Hellfire Wings, at your own risk.)
Lousianna Hotsauce

Dip wings in water.  Season both sides.  Stick in the oven at 375 degrees for an hour.  Ranch or Bleu cheese dressing, and/or honey is optional.

I've been told you can make buffalo sauce by melting butter in a pot of louisiana hotsauce.  I tried this once but used too much butter.  Maybe I'll wing it some more in the future until it turns out good, unless somebody already knows the secret and wants to share...

Maybe I'll post my Uber Ramen recipe later.

Use unsalted butter.

Makes better wings. You get the taste of the butter sans salt lick.

Welcome back, SuperPopTart! I am making a putanesca tonight. Our house reeks of crab today because I made crab and roasted corn risotto last night. Some friends of ours went crabbing and gave us a dungeoness crab that had a carapace 10 inches across! After cleaning it and making crab stock, the house is stank. That is all. Oh, the risotto rocked.

Risotto is like manna from Heaven.

sho nuff. I make it about once a week. Last night's was awesome except that dissecting a whole crab is SO not worth it.

I like salt lick, but I need to get the ratio right.  Actually, I used margerine, maybe that's what went wrong.

/bitchslap

what the fuck are you doing in my thread? get the fuck out!

Montreal Steak Seasoning is good on everything.  It's a staple in my hamburgers, along with Worcestercestercestershire and sometimes a secret ingredient.  The secret ingredient could be almost anything, but I am partial to cinnamon or garlic.

Now let's get back to talking about Rachel Ray prone on a countertop and covered with EVOO.

Thank you little VDL, I really wasn't gone so much as lurking.


Risotto = Evil.

And for all of you Rachel Ray humpers/lovers...

(http://photos23.flickr.com/26163010_8e7c1c2c10.jpg)

Ok, I like her now! I should watch more tv, I guess.
I feel the best 'stock' wing sauce is butter melted into Frank's Red Hot. No recipe, just to taste. Put the hot sauce in a pot, warm it, melt in some butter until it tastes right (I love that part). Then toss in the fried wings (did someone bake those wings? FOR SHAME) and toss until coated.

I'm something of a wing cunnysewer, living relatively close to Buffalo, I've enjoyed them my whole life. I've also worked in my share of pizza joints. I remember when I first moved to California and we tried to order wings with our pizza. The place was all "Wings? What the hell are you talking about?" "Chicken wings, you know, hot sauce?" "Try KFC!" I shoulda opened a REAL pizza joint on the spot.

This is a food thread.  You're supposed to hit people over the head with a pan, or whatever the gourmet equivalent is.

/rolling pin

Is cunnysewer a historical typo?  It's intentional right?

I don't fuck around with frenchy words, sorry.

Any opportunity you have to incorporate sewer into a french word is golden.

(http://blogsimages.skynet.be/images/000/059/109_nigella-lawson-pictures-02.jpg)

>


(http://photos23.flickr.com/26163010_8e7c1c2c10.jpg)


And for honourable mention, this is the real swedish Chef (you yanks can catch her on PBS - she's very cute)

(http://gfx.dagbladet.no/pub/artikkel/4/44/442/442093/tvXtina.jpg)

HERESY!!!
(http://www.toughpigs.com/images/recastswedishchef.jpg)

!!!

Try some lemon pepper sometime.  When grilling burgers I use Lemon Pepper, lemon Juice and garlic salt on the burgers. The sauces I use as toppings in place of ketchup or mustard (or with depending on how sloppy a burger I want)

I like to mix chopped green olives and anchovies into my burger meat for that nicoise flave.

I don't make hamburgers, I make mini-meatloafs. Not 'Bob's got mantits' meatloaf. Nice chunks of cheese, onion and jalapeno style.

I once met Nigella Lawson shopping for food at a supermarket in London. Not as much of a bitch as I thought she'd be.

That said, my recipe for grilled salmon with cucumber and chili pepper salad.

Take one or two large cucumbers and slice them thinly into a bowl, add wine vinegar (or, if you're feeling Asian, rice wine vinegar) Chop up some dill and add it to the mixture Chop up a couple of red peppers for flavor and mix the ingredients together, letting the cucumbers get soft and foldy.

Meanwhile, grill the salmon on its side (to keep the skin crispy and intact) for a few minutes until it is slightly pink. Then, remove from the grill and place skin side up on a baking sheet and cook at medium heat until done to your satisfaction.

Then, on a plate, lay out a bed of the cucumber/pepper/dill mixture on a plate, lay the salmon on top. Enjoy.

*tastes*

Hmm. Needs a pinch of salt and sugar.

I make a cucumber salad just like that but with sesame seeds added for that JPN thang.

Grill those peppers while you're grillin'!

A handy trick I learned from reading MArtha Stweart Living: rub a slice of raw potato on the grill before grilling fish and it won't stick and flake apart when you try to flip it.

Surlyboi's recipe is very Scandinavian. Prolly be good with a little yogurt too. Did anyone ever eat at the salad bar at Ikea? The yummiest selection of pickled/dressed fish you can imagine. But your belches taste NAS-TAY for the rest of the day.

Heh.  Learned the same thing from a recent Field & Stream magazine.  Still waiting to try it out though; what I catch typically gets turned into fish tacos or ceviche.

Speaking of which...

Beer-Battered Baja Style fish tacos

It's debatable whether or not batter-fried fish is 'authentico'... most places on both sides of the border make it this way but some of the better ones don't.  One thing's for sure, heath-concerns aside, beer-battered fish is a 'can't miss' even for most people who say they don't like fish.  Nuff said.

Choosing the fish: 
Fresh is always best.  If you grab a box of Gorton's out of the frozen section you lose.  If you get it from the store, stick with stuff labled 'rock cod', 'rockfish', 'pacific cod', 'red snapper', 'sea bass', 'grouper' halibut, flounder, sole, etc.  You want a basic non-oily whitemeat fish.  Mackerels, jacks, tunas are all out as are shark, swordfish.  Avoid anything that says 'seasoned' or has obnoxious looking orange pepper sprinkled on it.  Let your nose be your guide; fresh fish should not stink.

For the fixins you'll want:

• soft, uncooked tortillas (corn preferrably; if flour they should be small.  If you grab a box of pre-formed Ortegas you lose.)
• onion, diced
• tomato, diced
• cabbage, finely sliced (green, not purple; and don't try and substitute lettuce)
• cilantro, minced
• your favorite hot sauce and/or salsa
• a lime or a lemon (or two)
• mayonaise
• plain yogurt  (just trust me on these last two for now)

Preparing the beer-batter:
Beer!  Plus flour or pancake batter.  You don't need a lot of either.  Take some of your flour/batter and stir in and mix some beer until you have a fairly thin consistency... thinner than you'd use for pancakes say (If you were going to make beer batter pancakes that is).  Put some more of the (dry) flour or batter in a large plastic bag.  Check for holes and leaks or double/triple wall it.  We're thinking plastic grocery bag sized here or similar.  (If you have some Old Bay type seasoning you wish to use, mix it in with the liquid and dry batter to taste.)

Preparing the fish:
Rinse your fish thoroughly under the sink just before cooking; not much sooner.  Check for and remove bones.  Rather than 'cube' the fish, think 'rectangle'; carve fillets into sections roughly pinky to thumb sized.  Take your homemade 'fish sticks' and place them in the bag with the dry flour.  Shake until pieces are well coated.  Get your frying pan ready.  Small pan, inch deep with vegetable oil (not olive!), med-high heat.  Have your beer batter in a small flat-bottomed dish or pan; add the fish.  Coat well, don't leave in for long.  Put in hot oil carefully.  Use tongs to turn pieces over after a minute or two.  It's hard to over-cook fish like this but avoid leaving in too long, they should not be overly dark and hardened.  Take a piece or two out and slice through to make sure they're not under-done.  When fish opaques and firms up (isn't clear and mushy) it's done.  Cook the fish (and tortillas) after all the rest of the spread is ready or else keep warm in low heat oven, etc.  Something to bear in mind as you prepare the fish and tortillas; you cannot have too many paper towels on hand.

Preparing the tortillas:
Probably best if you use a separate frying pan for the tortillas if you're going to fry them.  A little lower heat for these, a lot less oil.  Fried tortillas don't take long; do up a bunch, blot them with paper towels and stick them someplace warm or just prepare right before eating.  If you don't want them fried the next best ways to heat them up are to use a dry skillet -or- place a few in a paper sack and microwave for 20 seconds.


Preparing the white sauce:
Perhaps the most essential component to a great fish taco as well as the least understood.  Yes, equal parts mayo and plain yogurt (plus a healthy squeeze of lime and maybe a dash of tabasco or seasoning... mmm!) is the basis for 'white sauce'.  Should pour slowly off a spoon when blended; add more lime juice as needed.  Have this as well as the onion, tomato, cabbage, cilantro, hot sauce, etc. ready as you finish frying your fish and tortillas.  Apply the white sauce liberally to the mound of fried fish and fixins on your tortilla.  Use two hands to keep it all inside as long as possible; devour quickly.

Sabrosa!

Mmm...I'm in the mood for fish now.

We don't like breaded/battered stuff, maybe I'll give it a shot like a chimichanga, wrapping it up burrito style with some cheese and deep frying the whole thing...

My damn deep fryer broke beyond repair this time, though :(

I've never owned a deep fryer.

I'm gonna have to add that to my list sooner or later. I long for the chance to create my own Truck Stop Burritos (Y'know, the "yellow" kind? Mmmm..).

Damnit now I want fish too.. and the wife hates seafood.  I curse you all for while you're eating well I'll have to settle for a can of tuna.

The potato thing does work, by the way...

My girlfriend's allergic to fish, so no beer battered fish tacos for me. The recipe is great though.

Here's another contribution:

Very, very delicious party dip:

1 small plastic tub of French Onion dip
1 packet of taco seasoning

Mix and serve with chips

Holy shit that is pure genius.  I am doing this as a snack tonight!

Another dip that sounds like vomit but is surprisingly delicious:

plain or vanilla yogurt and brown sugar.

Tastes like caramel sauce when you dip apple slices in it.

They have this as a dessert in the middle east, or something like it I should say.  Looks disgusting (you poke a hole in the bottom, flip it over, and let it ooze together before consuming), but damn it was tastilicious.

Did you ever eat something called "ozzie (sp?)" in the middle east? It's like a Spanish tortilla (which is really like an omelette) with lotsa chopped herbs and pine nuts in it. I wanna learn how to make it for the next time I make a mezza.

I have had everything from raw goat testicles (not cool) to chilled brains (never did find out from which animal).  My rule of thumb became no meat products after a few months of being in the region.  One thing that is delicious is a schwarma.  I think I lived on them about a month straight! 

Also the Turks have KILLER food and the best produce I have ever ate.  I recommend people stop by Greece or Turkey if they are ever in that part of the world! 

Yeah, Greeks and Turks make my favorite meals and dishes.

Luckily, I have a couple of friends, both lifelong Greek cooks, who can serve it up. Plus, a family friend who's even better than them (with pastries especially).

No need to travel a couple thousand miles to get it (not that that would be a bad thing either).

I have never had Turkish cuisine. I make a decent tagine once in awhile, but that's Moroccan. I love butter, honey and cheese. God bless the Mediterranean.

Thats awesome.  Closest Turkish resteraunts I know of are up in DC.  Lamacun is pure heaven.  I would marry for it.

There's a lot of crossover between Turkish and Greek cuisine.  Meatball dishes are popular, as is lamb, eggplant and yogurt.  You'll find parsley, dill, mint, cinnamon and/or cumin in many dishes.  Garlic, olives and olive oil are staples.  Pilafs and Kababs are famously Turkish, and some regions of Greece use a lot of pasta.  And of course there's various Baklavas for dessert.  There's many, many different types of Baklava actually; my favorite includes pistachios and isn't as cloyingly sweet as some you'll find in lesser restaurants.

If any of that sounds good to you, you'll find something you like out of Greek/Turkish cuisine.  I grew up on Greek food but alas, most of the recipies my grandparents made were lost when they passed on.  Been able to find similar recipies in cookbooks but doesn't really taste the same.  Still good, just not what I grew up on.  There's a surprising amount of regional variances in Greek cooking for such a small country, most of what you'll find in restaurants and cookbooks is Athenian.  If I can get the family versions of soutzoukakia (a type of meatball) or yuvarelakia (a rice meatball) to taste right, I'll post up recipies.

Thank you!! I asked Stray to get his Gramma's pad thai recipe, but he's been a no-show. I want everyone's gramma's recipes.

I already cook with a lot of the ingredients you mentioned, especially cumin seeds and cinnamon.

Err....You did?

Anyways, I've never once spoken or met my Grandma, so umm....Fat chance on that.

My Mom is the one where I get the Thai food from, and she's half Cambodian (my Grandma is full Cambodian btw) --- So it's not all Thai either.

Grandma on my Dad's side is Danish. I'll give you a recipe for....Danishes....If you want?  :roll:  :wink:

Stray's one uh them there halfbreeds.

Can we poke him with a stick?  :-D

Man, I'm like a quadbreed. No wait, a quintbreed. A real mutt. If you saw me, you couldn't help but think to yourself

"See, now there's the future of the human race!"

Umm...For better or worse.

No! That can't be! I was supposed to be the future of the human race!

Same boat as you, actually. We're not totally sure of all the crossbreeding that went on among my ancestors, but the biggies are Japanese, African American, Greek and Native American.

I like to think of myself as a product of genetic engineering.  :-)

Gimme some Cambodian recipes then, Future of the Human Race!

Dry Potato Curry  (From the Poonah/New Delhi region of India)

Ingredients:

Mustard Seeds.  (Black preferred, yellow okay)
4-6 teaspoons Curry Powder (I use about 3 HOT and 2-3 mild) Bolsts
    brand is the best. But any INDIAN style from the local grocery will work.
    Or for the best find a local indian spice store.
1-2 teaspoons Ground Coriander
1-3 teaspoons Ground Cumin seeds
1-2 teaspoons Tumeric
2-3 Tablespoons  Salt
1 Medium Onion DICED
2-3 cloves garlic minced, or 1-1.5 teaspoons garlic powder.  FRESH is
    BEST!!!
3-6 Tablespoons olive oil. (Regular vege oil will work.  Olive just
    gives it that something special)
5-6 medium to large potatoes DICED
2 Limes

Steps:

1. DICE the potatoes and onions, MINCE the garlic.

2. Put mustard seeds in the frying pan, covering about 2/3 of the pan
bottom in a single layer.

3. Turn the heat on medium and cover the pan.  The mustard seeds will
start popping like popcorn.

4. Shake the pan lightly while the seeds are popping. This should last
about 2-4 minutes.

5. Remove from heat after the seeds are pretty much done popping.

6. Add 3 Tablespoons oil, curry powder, cumin, tumeric, salt, and the
onion and garlic to the pan and mix it up. The consistency should be
pasty.

7. Return to heat and cook for about 2 minutes.  The onion will turn
translucent.

8. Throw in the potatoes and mix WELL. Add more oil/salt as needed.
It's best to layer the potatoes, about 1/3rd of the pan deep, and add some salt, then layer and add salt.

9. Cook for about 30-90 minutes turning every 5-10 minutes depending on
your stove. Basically you are looking for the biggest pieces of potato to be
cooked.

10. Right before serving cut the 2 limes in half and squeeze the juice
into the pan, and mix lightly.

Don't be afraid to taste test and increase amounts of the spices to your
liking.  I usually end up using slightly more cumin and curry powder
then mentioned above.  And salt is very important.

The final product should have a slightly salty taste followed closely by
a slightly sour twang from the lime, fading into a warm glowing from the
curry.  The curry should not be the absolute first thing you taste.  It
should kind of "creep" up on you.

To be honest, it'll take some effort. My Mom can speak English and has a little bit of Education, but she doesn't really write or read much of anything. She definitely doesn't have recipes written down or anything -- They're all in her head.

She made some Thai chicken and curry over the past weekend, and my God, it was good. If I could get the recipe for that, you'd be set (I'm sure you could Google something up though. Online recipes couldn't be that much different).

Is anyone making Thanksgiving dinner at their house? This year's menu at casa de voodoolily and Sauced:

Roasted turkey (brined overnight with red wine, oranges, kosher salt, pepper corns and fresh rosemary)
Savory bread pudding (instead of stuffing)
Sweet potatoes au gratin with candied walnuts
Haricots vert in an onion-y, shallot-y bechamel (that's "green bean casserole" for the non-Francophiles)
My grandma's old celery-cheese casserole (never made it before, but it's all gooey and cheesy with water chestnuts and celery)
Cranberry chutney with tripel sec and orange zest
I kinda wanna make glazed carrots again, but maybe too much sweet beta carotene goodness already
fresh bread from the Breadman

dessert: chai-spiced (fresh ginger, vanilla bean, allspice berries, cinnamon stick and black pepper corns) creme brulee with caramelized apples
(last year I made a sharp cheddar-apple pie with crumb topping and no one ate any  :cry:)

Happy Holidays!

I'm going to make a couple loaves of bread, plus a couple extra to make into bread crumbs for stuffing. Plus some garlic mashed pertaters. Eating at mom's, she usually does the basics, I'm just bringing a couple things. We don't do none of that there fancy eatin'. ;)

Dump the icky waterchestnut casserole for some good old fashioned mashed potatoes to dump your turkey gravy on, and it sounds like you have a winner. Au gratin sweet potatoes is something I've never thought of. Tradition here is usually mashed yams with marshmallows melted on top instead.

Oh, there will be mashed potatoes.

I can't believe I forgot to put mashed potatoes. I guess it's kinda like turkey (not a holiday without it).

I am ridiculously hyped for Thanksgiving this year for some reason. I want a giant plate full of dark meat piled on stuffing covered in gravy. And then an angioplasty.

Eww, dark meat.  Glad my family is half filled with Mexicans or no one would eat that fatty crap. 

Turkey, stuffing, pie, football. Rinse, repeat. Then I get to go watch Arizona crush Arizona State's bowl hopes the next day.  Perfect.

I have some Mexican friends and have been served goat at a Quinceanera, so I don't think they have the last word on palatable cuisine  :-D

Goat probably tastes better than dark meat.  But Mexicans think all sorts of disgusting crap is tasty, like tripe or pecan pie.

Tripe or Pecan Pie? Eh?

I really don't care for the white meat on a Turkey, too dry. No matter how juicy the bird is overall, the breast meat allways leaves that drymouth feeling.

I'm the guy that sits there and munches on the legs like its some big medieval banquet or something.

So I wanted to say thanks to you Yanks for having your Thanksgiving a month late, as it just means a free Holiday for me in November (as most of our customers are American).

The white meat's not dry if you brine the turkey first! Soak the bird in a salt-sugar water solution overnight (be sure and RINSE before you cook the bird). Perfect, succulent, shreddable goodness every time.

Going to switch gears to some German style food.  :)

This is easy to cook in a Crockpot or dutch oven.

What ya need:

Sauerkraut (fresh preferably from the fridge section or canned)
bratwurst (at least 6 uncooked)
granny smith green apples (1 large)
one white onion (1 large)
one purple onion (1 large)
brown sugar
apple cider vinegar
beer (1 dark wheat beer)
bacon (1/2 package)

1.  Cut the purple and white onion in half, place half of each onion in skillet with bacon (1/2 of the package), add 2 tablespoons of brown sugar and 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar.  Cook till onions are clear and a nice sauce is present.

2.  Place half of the sauerkraut on the bottom of your slow cooker or dutch oven.

3.  Core the granny smith green apple (the tarter the better), cut up and place half on top of the sauerkraut, save the other half.

4.  Place bratwurst on top of kraut.

5.  Poor onions and bacon sauce on top of brats.

6.  Layer the rest apples and then kraut on top of brats.

7.  Pour 1 bottle of dark wheat beer on top of kraut.

8.  Add 2 more tablespoons of brown sugar and applecider vinegar

9.  Cook till the brats are done and it smells wonderful!  (or like ass...one of the gals at work description, "god it smells like ass, but taste so good!")

You can swap out the meat (spare ribs, pot roast, etc...) or grill the meat first and add it to the mix, makes for some great eating!

(http://www.f13.net/images/necro.jpg)

NECRO!!!

btw, LOVE the new Necro Warning, schild.

Salmon with mango-avocado salsa (I serve with grilled polenta triangles).

For Salsa:
Whisk in a bowl:
zest and juice from 2 limes
2 T Thai sweet chili sauce or honey
2 T rice vinegar
1/4 c olive oil
fat pinch kosher salt
1/4 tsp nutmeg (or 10 scrapes off a whole nutmeg)

add:
2 mangoes (I prefer the "champagne" or Filipino mangoes for flavor), filleted and diced
2 avocadoes, diced
1 habanero pepper, seeded and minced
1 cup chopped cilantro
1/2 shallot minced, or 2 T finely minced red onion

fiddle with the salsa a bit until it has the right balance of salty, sweet and citrusy by adding more salt, honey or lime juice/rice vinegar.

Salmon:
grill or pan-fry it.

Spoon salsa over salmon and salad greens. If serving with polenta, put some on the polenta too.

Polenta:

Easy polenta: buy one of those tubes of polenta and slice it into 1/2" thick slices. Brush with oil and either grill or bake until the edges get crispy.

Fancy polenta: bring a cup of chicken stock with a splash of milk to a boil. Slowly drizzle in corn meal, stirring constantly, until it looks like pudding. Lower heat to Low and stir until thick like grits (or polenta). Add 1/2 c frozen corn kernels and mix well. Spread out on a non-stick pan or tray to 1/2" thickness and set aside in freezer for 15 mintues to firm up. Cut into triangles or squares or whatever and cook as above.

I can't make the necro gif appear :( I think I'm borken.

Is that a new line from Ikea?  :-P

HOLY necropost.

They need to come up with a new term for threads this old...there definitely won't be much left after it has been decomposing for this long :p

(http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/eat.gif)

Look!  Signe is going to eat this undead threads braaaiiinnnnns.

See what happens when you resurrect dead threads?  The zombies start salivating.

I made some great kebabs this weekend, cooked out for my mother. Although I can't stop calling them ke-bAAbs since watching an episode of the Conchords.

I forget the actual recipe, I grabbed it from my girlfriend's Weight Watchers cookbook, which has some great stuff. It was a Korean recipe, and I had to make a ton of changes because the only place I could get groceries was stupid walmart. So...chipotle + adobo for chipotle paste, skirt for flank (tenderer but hard to skewer), etc. Ginger, scallions, garlic, honey, sugar, soy sauce, cider vinegar, chipotle paste for the marinade. Marinade two hours, skewer, grill. Boil and reduce the remaining marinade and pour over finished kebabs.

Also made something out of Batali's nascar cookbook, pork scallopini skewers. Pound out pork loins (scaring the hell out of mom's kitties!), salt and pepper. Fill with a pat of butter, capers, parsley, parmesan/reggiano, maybe something else I'm forgetting, roll up and skewer, grill.

Grilled some red bell peppers, remove skin, serve plain. Nice balance to the spicy meats (I got heavy-handed with the pepper on the pork, but I like it that way). Also served some brocolli with chipotle/cumin butter to complete the smoky flavored meal.\

Good times.

Fuh.  I'm rather minimalist these days.

Tilapia.  Kosher salt.  Black pepper (grind it yourself, slacker).  Heat pan, mediumish.  Add olive oil.  Add fish.
Another pan.  Heat not as mediumish.  Tiny bit of oil.  Tortilla.  Fold it in half when you take it out.
Combine both when done.

I was on vacation :) I'm much more minimalist for everyday cooking. A bit less than you, though, Yeg.

I do that partly because I have to fight my wife's rigorous adherance to the recipe as if it was federal law code, also I can't keep every spice ever made in my cabinets.  Also I want to hurry up with the cooking.  I made something she picked out once and just left out some stuff I did not have, like dill and mustard seed, and she was perturbed.  She did admit that it was tasty.

I am fairly encouraged by my recent salt+pepper run (the salt+pepper steaks were a huge hit with Killjoy), but something else I did that turned out pretty nice was cedar-plank salmon.  I had, fortunately, slathered on a protective coating of (forgotten) sauce since my grill turned the plank to ash except for directly underneath the fish.  The sauce carbonized but the fish was fine.  I might give that a try with just salt+pepper if I can figure out how to do it without incinerating the fish.

I'd be screwed if I had to follow recipes rigidly. I'm always substituting things (aka forgetting to buy them). Or I take one recipe and then see how many ways I can bend it around in a week, alter a white wine sauce to red wine, make a pork dish with chicken, etc.

Did you soak the plank in water for a couple of hours first?  Also, don't put the plank directly over the fire/coals.

Soaked for at least one hour, but my grill is rather overpowered.  Where would I be putting the plank?

Somewhere constant.

Seriously? It takes the strength of every fibre of my being not to tell you where you should put the plank.  :-D

If this is a gas grill, fire up one side/set of burners only and put the fish-laden wood over the part that's not lit and/or tone down the gas control if it's still burning the plank to ash.  For charcoal ones, just move the charcoal to one side and put the food on the other.  You may need to rotate the planks during cooking in this scenario since one side will be closer to direct radiated heat, but you'll be able to avoid turning the plank to cinders.  Vary the proximity to the coals/fire if it's not cooking fast enough or too fast.

Genius in its simplicity.

Also: Har har.  And VDL was funnier.

I WIN.

Chipotle recipe you like?  We're getting hammered by global warming in Texas - last time I saw this much rainfall in the Lower Continental Bison Drainoff was the Isla Del Sol Lake Titicaca failure of 0981 CE.  My garden is growing like Seattle in July - I can't compost peppers fast enough.

I almost wouldn't mind a hurricane right now.  The rain would slow down as the bands pass over. :|

If I had a surplus of peppers (I wish!!) I would prolly just roast and freeze them in ziplocks. If you roast then stick them in a bowl with a lid for a few minutes, the steam helps the plastic-y skins just slide off, and then you can pull the stem and seeds out and you have lovely roasted peppers ready for any soup or sauce!

VDL's reference to her Wellington recipie on page two in another thread made me go back and reread this whole thing. I'm suddenly oddly intrigued by Jimbo's slow cooker brat/kraut/apple/bacon monstrosity on page four. Thing is, I can't figure out how you are meant to cook it exactly. Slowcooker style over several hours, or on high for a shorter stretch? I have a fear of cooking brats wrong and having them explode over my kitchen.

That's what lids are for!

You shouldn't be cooking kids anyways, no matter how unruly they get.

Well, there goes my mental image of you as the wicked witch of the west.  :|

One does not have to be under a predetermined age to be considered a brat.  :-P

Who wants to eat an old brat?  They are tough and have no juice.

Porchetta or dago pork roast

1 can black olives
garlic ( i like a lot)
rosemary

Toss in blender until it is a paste and coat 1 pork roast. Bake as usual and enjoy the most juicy piece of pork ever.

Will spin your head around if you do a skinned chicken. But skinning a whole chicken is a bother and a half. Oh well...Who said good food was easy... Double extra bonus points if you stuff the chicken with fennel root ( well it ain't a root but you know what I mean... not the seed)

If you are ever temped to roast lamb please remember this recipe.

/thread

Ugh. Olives. Black. Olives. Ugh.

I am betting you do not tan worth a shit.

You don't need the olives if you don't want them.  We never did.  My mother would make porchetta as a special dish for family gatherings now and then.  She always used a boned suckling pig, which a lot of Italians insist on, and she would roll it so the herbs cook inside the pig.  It really does make a big difference.  She used a bit of fennel, peperoncino, rosemary, salt, pepper, nutmeg, and corriander and rubbed olive oil into the skin to make it crunchy.  If you have an outdoor kitchen (my grandmother did) you can spit roast which is lovely.  It's so tender it literally melts in your mouth.  You serve it between bread like a sandwich. 

Unfortunately, most people don't have ovens that'll hold a suckling pig so Hal's version... or something in between... is a good alternative.  Stuffing the roast with the herbs, however, really does make it taste incredibly wonderlicious.

Black olives are good.  Kalamata olives are awesome.

He is an Italian Jew. As far as he's concerned, olive is the color of his skin, not a food.  :wink:

I have been jonesing for bibimbop (Korean rice bowl) a lot lately, and have cooked it twice this week already. Since I am lucky enough to live near a Korean grocery w/deli case, I can cheat a little and buy kimchee and pickled bellflower root already prepared, so the rest is incredibly easy.

Bibimbop (instructional only)

Cook some sticky rice. Saute some veg - I use zucchini because my garden is asploding with it, bean sprouts, and a combo of onion/green onion. Mushrooms are also nice. Saute each veg separately to maintain the integrity of each flavor. Season each with some combination of soy sauce, garlic, ginger, sesame oil/seeds, rice vinegar and mirin (sweet cooking wine). Grill or saute some bulgogi (thinly sliced steak marinated in ginger, soy sauce and sesame oil - Korean store and/or Trader Joe's sells this beef already seasoned. You can also use pork).

Put sticky rice in a good-sized bowl. Top with kimchee, bellflower (sometimes labeled by its Latin name Platycodon), sauteed veg, bulgogi and a blob of gochu jang (it's like chili sesame miso paste and is amazingly tasty). Then top it all with an egg fried over easy. The yolk will run into the hot rice and make yummy little nuggets of golden goo.

You can make this vegetarian by simply omitting the bulgogi. Koreans typically make bibimbop as a way to use up leftovers.

The word bellflower (http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=Bellflower,+Los+Angeles,+California,+United+States&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=43.578243,87.714844&ie=UTF8&cd=1&mpnum=0&ll=33.882672,-118.122253&spn=0.089639,0.171318&t=k&z=13&iwloc=addr&om=1) still makes me quake at times.

I was going to say that that dish sounds a lot like a generic leftover dish I'd make :) I'm no chef, but I can make some ....good eats!

Not to derail, but...

Hey! (http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=South+Gate,+California,+United+States&ie=UTF8&ll=33.962156,-118.200531&spn=0.136112,0.252342&t=h&z=12&iwloc=addr&om=1) At least there you were bordered by Downey and Cerritos instead of Lynwood and Huntington Park :(.

I tried out something on a whim tonight that turned out rather kickass.

Fried apple wontons.

Take two of your favorite apple (med. to large size), I prefer granny smith or Fiji, I used the Fijis this time. Anyway, take the apples, cut out the core or use a handy core-er. Then slice them super thin. Take those slices and chop them down into bits. In a medium saucepan, melt 2 tbsp of butter, then add in about a handfull (two TBSP? no idea) of brown sugar. Blend that well, then add in your apple pieces. Over medium heat, stir it all to coat the apples, then add a splash of apple juice,also sprinkle in some ground cinnamon. Cook that until the apples are medium soft (not pie filling soft, but not hard), then let it cool a bit. Break out some wonton wrappers, use a spoon to fill them, and fold them per the instructions on the package. Drop the wontons into hot oil and fry them. This shouldn't take more than two minutes at most, so be careful, burning them == teh suck.

I did not use confectioner's sugar/powdered sugar to top them, but that would have ruled.

Did you get that recipe from the Pocket Pie episode of Good Eats?

btw, I just ate some stellar crab cake burgers which I made from scratch!!

Crab Cake Burgers with Remoulade (serves 2 hungry mofos)

Make the remoulade first.

Remoulade:

3 egg yolks
2 tbsp lemon juice or white wine vinegar (but you'll need the lemon anyway for the zest, so pony up)
1 tsp lemon zest
fat pinch kosher salt
crack pepper
1 tsp dijon mustard
~1 1/2 c olive oil


Whisk together all but the olive oil. Then, while whisking, slowly drizzle in the oil. Whisk these ingredients in a stainless steel, glass or ceramic bowl (NOT aluminum or copper). Also, you can totally use a whisk, but after 5 minutes your arms will hurt and you'll bust out the electric mixer. You want it pretty creamy and emulsified, but it will not resemble store-bought mayo yet, more like salad dressing. STOP when it is pretty creamy and silky-looking with a nice golden sheen. Now nestle the bowl over a pot of boiling water and whisk constantly until it reaches the nice mayo-ey thickness. You have just made a classic Zabaione. This is one of the great French sauces and can be easily turned into a number of sauces. To turn it into Remoulade, add the following ingredients:

1 tbsp capers, drained, rinsed and chopped
2 tbsp minced parsley
1 tbsp minced cornichons or dill pickle
2 cloves garlic, minced
pinch sweet chili flake
pinch sugar
what the hell, a little more lemon zest if you think it needs it
S&P to taste
 
Stir it together and this is god on your crab cake burger. It is also amazing dip for french fries, fried calamari, or instead of mayo in tuna salad. Fuck, you can eat it with a spoon if you're not watching your cholesterol.

If you are an ig'nunt, lazy sonnofabitch then just use mayo with the lemon juice, herbs and other chunky bits.

Crab Cakes:

2 cups lump dungeness crab meat (which I picked clean MYSELF!!)
1 egg
2 tbsp minced shallot
1/2 tsp lemon zest
2 tbsp minced parsely
2 tbsp + 1/2 c cracker crumbs (just take some leftover crackers and blitz them in the Magimix)
pinch kosher salt
cracks o' pepper
pinch of chili flake (I use Korean sweet chili flake)
1/3 c veg oil (or some other mild oil that can withstand high temps like peanut or canola)

Mix all ingredients (except the 1/2 c of cracker crumbs) gently in a bowl with a fork, breaking up the larger lumps of crab into flakes. Divide into two. Form into nice fat patties ~1 inch thick and ~4 inches in diameter. Coat in the 1/2 c of crackers crumbs and fry in a medium saucier, 4 minutes on each side until golden brown.  I use a lid to partially cover the pan, minimizing oil spatter and ensuring the patties are thoroughly heated in the middle.

Place patty on toased wheat bun that has been generously slathered with remoulade, and top with nice baby greens. You got served, motherfucker.


btw, the remoulade is only good for two days, kept fridged. Eat it up!

No, I was buzzed and thinking that it would be nice to eat a McDonald's apple pie without the transfats.

I haven't kept up with Good Eats in a long time. Believe it or not, sometimes I just get good ideas. That are apparently not really revolutionary. Either way, I had tasty fried apple snacks, so go me.

One of my best friend's mothers, a good ole southern girl (you know, makes enough food for 50 people at a 6 person dinner) makes what is quite possibly the most delicious, and deadly snack of all time. This stuff is pure artery cement..

1 pound Philly cream cheese
2 cans Hormel Chili with beans
1 pound of grated fresh Colby

Cover the bottom of a 2 inch baking pan with the cream cheese. Top cream cheese with the Hormel chili. Top it all off with the grated Colby. Heat in oven at 350 until cheese has melted. The best nacho dip on the planet.

Serve with white tortilla chips and an angioplasty.

Just made a good, fairly simple and quick pasta this weekend. It was actually better left over than it was fresh but I'm often strange that way...

Ingredients:
1 whole roasted chicken
1 lb farfalle (bowtie) pasta
8 oz baby bella mushrooms (pre-sliced)
2 fresh summer/yellow squash
Olive Oil
Lipton Herb & Garlic soup mix (http://www.amazon.com/Lipton-Recipe-Secrets-Savory-Garlic/dp/B0004M29IA)
Chopped garlic
Other Italian herbs and seasoning as desired


If you wanted you could roast your own chicken but thats way too time consuming so I just bought one of those $5 jobs from the grocery store that they roast every few hours. I saw them just coming out of the roaster and they smelled good which gave me the idea for the recipe.

Shred the chicken and separate the meat from all the bones and other nasty stuff. I also removed the skin and any fat to at least try and make it slightly healthier. That's the longest part and takes 5-10 minutes to do by hand.

At the same time you're shredding the chicken get your pasta water going and get the pasta started.

When there's about 5-6 minutes left on the pasta take the mushrooms and chop the squash and throw those in a pan. Add the chopped garlic and a good bit of olive oil. Add about 1/4 of the packet of soup mix. Cook over medium heat until the veggies just start to soften (3-4 minutes max), you don't want them to be mushy. Add the chicken and leave it on the heat just until everything is nice and hot.

Drain your pasta, add some more olive oil to the pasta and the rest of the packet of soup mix. Mix in your chicken, mushroom and squash mixture. Salt to taste and serve with grated Parmesan, Romano or whichever cheese you prefer.

Total prep time about 20 minutes.

This makes enough for my wife and I to get two dinners and a single lunch out of it. It is also fairly high in the stuff to pasta ratio. When making dishes like this I like my pasta vs. stuff ratio to be about 1:1. My wife usually likes more pasta but since I was cooking I get to decide. You could probably use 2 lbs of pasta and the same amount of stuff and it would come out ok and stretch a lot further.

I destroyed the competition at our library bake sale with Cook's Illustrated thick-n-chewy chocolate chip cookie recipe. Apparently it wasn't a competition. I was told that repeatedly as I smugly pointed out how much better my cookies were and how they sold out in less than an hour. But I won.

Actually, we all won because they were amazingly good cookies. I joined the CI website earlier this year, it's cool. Recipes, reviews (not sponsored by ads), and you can make favorites lists of recipes and articles. Then you can go to your favorites and tick the checkboxes next to what you want to make for dinner, click the Shopping List link and it'll spit out a printer-friendly list of ingredients to take to the store after work. Love it.

I'm tempted to quit getting it monthly and just buying the year in hardback.

Pasta Salad

2 boxes Orzo pasta
2 bunches Asparagus
1 jar roasted red pepper or 1 red pepper so roasted and peeled
1 jar nonpareil capers
2 4 oz jars marinated artichoke hearts
1/4 cup pitted kalamata olives
1 cup grape tomatoes
2 tbl finely chopped flat-leaf parsley
1 tbl finely chopped fresh tarragon
2 tbl finely chopped fresh basil
6 tbl Hellman's Mayo
3 tbl good Dijon mustard
1 tsp fresh ground black pepper
fine sea salt to taste

Cook the orzo to al dente per box instructions with plenty (2 tbl minimum) of salt in the water.  Stir for the first few mins or clumps will form. Drain pasta and cool in ice water bath while stirring.  Drain very well again.

Trim the cut ends of the asparagus and cook to tender but not mushy.  Usually takes 12-15 min in microwave while submerged in salted water.  Shock in ice water, drain, and cut in 1/2 inch lengths.

Mince red peppers, olives, capers, and herbs.  Add to your largest mixing bowl with the mayo, mustard, herbs and pepper.  Stir to make a dressing.  Mix in pasta and asparagus.  Taste for seasoning.  Remember it will be served cold so more salt is needed than at room temp.  Stir in drained artichoke hearts and halved grape tomatoes.  Leave in fridge for an hour or 3 to meld and chill.  Before serving check seasoning again and add more mustard, salt, and pepper as necessary and even more mayo to get a creamier result.

Recipe can easily be halved as it makes alot.

orly? with 2 BOXES of orzo??

That's what she said.

Been getting lots of great veggies, my local supermarket is finally supporting local farms, posting where the veggies are coming from, it's incredible. Tough to get to our farmer's market on lunch the one day a week it's open, so this is a cool move. I do get some from a stand I know about, too. Fresh veggies grown locally make it almost too easy to make great recipes.

I made an easy little throw-together, wish we could get fresh avocado around here, one thing I miss since I've moved back.

Take some fresh tomato and avocado, dice into a bowl. Squirt some lime juice over it (squeezed of course) and grind some pepper and salt into it. We've been using it for tortilla chips, burrito toppings (I generically call anything in a tortilla shell a burrito), burger toppings. Just good stuff.

And omg the fresh long hots from this one farm are reeeeaally good and hot. Perfect for me, lots of peppery flavor to them. But nobody I cook for can handle them :(

We have been supping on hell of fresh produce from the garden, plus all the goodness coming from the farms. These are the tastiest of days.

I just entered this recipe into a little contest. Full details at bloggy-blog.

Smoky Green Curry Seafood Chowder

(http://voodooandsauce.com/chowder_blackbowl_resize.jpg)

Ingredients (broken out into steps of prep):
1 medium-sized Asian eggplant, mandolined or sliced very thin (on the bias)
2 c chopped fresh tomatoes (canned would work in a pinch if drained)
2 tbsp olive oil
1 jalapeno, seeded and minced
3 small, mild green chilis such as fresh pepperoncini
1 small onion, diced
1 shallot, minced (about 3 tbsp)
3 or 4 cloves garlic, minced
3" piece of ginger (the younger the better), julienned
1/2 c chopped baby haricots verts (or other tender green bean)

1 tsp coriander seed
1/2 tsp caraway seed
1/2 tsp cumin seed
1/4 tsp garam masala
coupla fat pinches kosher salt
6 or 7 cracks pepper

5 c fumet or fish stock
3 or 4 squirts fish sauce (nam pla)
1 can (13.5 oz) coconut milk
1 cup chopped fresh basil (reserve a few sprigs for garnish)
1/2 c chopped fresh cilantro, stems and all (reserve a few sprigs for garnish)
1/2 tsp red chili flake (I like the Korean kind, which is a little sweeter)
juice and zest from half a lime

1 tin (3.66 oz) smoked mussels, drained
1 lb mild white fish fillets (such as halibut, flounder, tilapia, etc.), cut into bite-sized cubes
8 baby octopus or squid, cleaned, tentacles left whole and bodies cut into bite-sized pieces
12 or 15 medium-sized prawns (~8 oz), peeled and deveined with tails intact


Heat oven to 350F. Spread thinly-sliced eggplant in a single layer on two lightly-oiled cookie sheets (or on a silpat on top of the cookie sheet). Spread tomatoes into glass or ceramic baking dish in an even layer. Roast eggplant for 15 minutes until browned and a bit crispy. Peel eggplant off while still hot and set aside. Roast toms for an additional 15 minutes (30 minutes total) until slightly browned, sticky and slumpy. You can kick the heat up a bit after the eggplant comes out if you want to expedite this step.

In a large, heavy-bottomed soup pot, heat the olive oil over medium-high heat. Saute the jalapenos, pepperoncini, onions, shallots, garlic, ginger and haricots verts for 5 minutes, stirring with a wooden spoon (important utensil for home cooking). While this is happening, heat a small pan over medium heat and toast the coriander, caraway and cumin seed until fragrant. Remove from heat and grind in mortar and pestle or spice grinder until you get a fine powder. Add ground spices and garam masala to sauteeing veg, and add salt and pepper.

When veg is beginning to get a little golden, add fumet, fish sauce and coconut milk. Drop heat to medium-low and stir. Add basil, coriander, chili flake and the lime zest/juice. Simmer for like 10 minutes. Add the eggplant and tomatoes, smoked mussels and the fish, and simmer another 10 minutes or so, until the veg is al dente and the fish is looking opaque. Avoid stirring too much here so you don't break up the fish. Add the octopus and prawns, and turn off the heat. The latent heat will cook the octopus and prawns without overdoing it.

Ladle into warm bowls and top with sprigs of basil and cilantro (or chop the sprigs up and sprinkle on top). Serve with crusty baguette (not as weird as you'd think; since Vietnam was colonized by the French they learned some nice baking skills from them). Enjoy with a nice Pinot Gris (we have great ones in Oregon), which compliments the seafood and cuts the spiciness.

MMMMM.  MMMM.  MMMMMMMM.  I can't say it enough.  MMM.  MMMMMMMMMM.

The lamb in the other forum looks delish, too.  It's not always easy to find a nice bit of lamb and it's Righ's favourite. 

I love lamb. It's got that "I'm a little baby who eats thistle and clover" taste that you just can't get from beef or pork. It satisfies my cravings for game-y meat when it's too early for venison.

Ship me a few quarts of that chowder!

As for lamb, I am not a huge fan. A little gamey for my sensitive palate. Slap it in a gyro, however, and I will wolf it down. Althought I would eat nearly anything if you slathered enough tzatziki on it.

VDL I love the fact that you enjoy venison. Doe or button buck meat is very good. Tenderloin medalions from a doe are great. I raised 2 girls on Bambi burgers and love the fact that you are connected to where the meat comes from and that wild meat can be very tasty. Happy trails to you.

Hey vlily, do you know how to break animals and whatnot? Or, do you just send your game out to be butchered?

What the hell.

I don't do any hunting myself, so I don't have to worry about it. My dad sends it off to a dude who dispatches the animal and makes pepperoni with the scraps. I've butchered fish and rabbits, but that's about it.

What? I cut meat. I don't think it's so far off for a gourmet chef to do his/her own cutting.\

Applause for truly epitomizing "Useless Conversation" though. ;)

I am not sure if this has been asked or not but let me share some thoughts about harvesting meat from hunting.

In this order:

1) Slit its throat, be humane, it may be unconconus, if it is kill it as quickly and humanly as you can. Any way you want the blood out of the body.
 
2) Slit open the belly hopefully without breaking the membrane but get the guts out of there and on the ground. I will reach up in to the chest and grab all I can.

3) If it is warm and running water is near get the body in the water. If it is freezing cold worry less about this. If it is some where inbeween it kinda depends where water is. In Tennessee bow season starts in August and i have been known to drag a doe miles to get the body chilled.

The gamy taste kinda equals spoiled meat. These steps will reduce spoilage as best you can. Will it taste like beef? No, but it will be less gamy if you do this than if you do not.

Some thoughts about weapons.  Guns kill by shock.  Bows kill by loss of blood pressure. Bows have very limited range. Bow season is safer for you than gun season. Any way getting the groceries with a stick and a string feels kinda cool.

My thoughts in the woods? If I do not believe I can kill it I do not shoot. There is a lot to be said for observing wildlife and I do not want to wound. If I strike I want to harvest if I am not sure I do not pull back my bow.

Actually I think the gaminess is a combination of their diet and the adrenaline coursing through the muscle in the last moments of its life. A red wine-juniper reduction goes nicely with it.

WHY IZ THIZ THRED BERRIED??

I remember we had a little conversation about rice cookers a while back, here's recommendations from an article at cooksillustrated.com:

This is dangerous ground here, some people are going to tell you to buy the zojirushi (ME!) because they have one and it's SO EASY AND AWESOME, others are going to eschew such fancy rice cookers for those cheap pieces of shit at Target, while the last third of internet dweller will be elitist and frugal and claim that their old-fashioned-cooked-rice is not only cheaper, it will always be tastier.

My recommendation is to buy a rice cooker that has more technology in it than your car and costs as much as a cheap cellphone.  You'll have it for years and years and it will churn out perfect rice for you everytime.

Well, that's why I listed the article findings. I can post the rest of the article if you'd like :) Cook's Illustrated isn't supported by advertising, so it's a fairly unbiased place to find ratings. Me, I use the stove if it matters (a risotto) and the microwave if it doesn't (rice for burritos).

I'm cooking up the secret negro sauce again, hopefully I won't burn it this time.

It's a pilfered recipe, if it turns out to be as awesome as it was hyped I'll post recipe back here in a few hours.

Also, chicken kiev chilling in the fridge.  If I don't fuck it up, and it's actually tasty, I'll post up the recipe.

The fuck is secret negro sauce.

*1 Large can of Tomato juice, and two 11.5oz soda can sized ones, unsalted, if you can get it.
*6 Quarts of apple cider vinegar.
*1 Lb. salt.
*1/2 Lb. black pepper.
*2 Tsp. cayenne pepper.
*4 Tbsp. ground clove.
*8 Tsp. ground allspice.
*4 Lb. brown sugar.

Bring to a boil, and then let simmer at LEAST 6 hours, you'll want about a 1/3 reduction when it's finished.
Be careful not to scorch it, you'll ruin the entire batch (what I did last time)

I'll throw up the recipe for the chicken kiev I cooked tonight if anyone wants it, was fucking phenominal.

So secret negro sauce is just barbecue sauce.

I don't think it's "secret" once you've posted the recipe.  Making it... negro sauce?   :grin:

The secret is apparently knowing when it's done.  I was told 6 hours, 27 hours later, the vinegar still hadn't fully cooked off, but I was sick of the house smelling like vinegar and figured that was as good as it would get.  Doesn't really make a great "sauce" tho, its far too thin, does make an excellent marinade tho.  We did some chicken breasts/steaks in it and they came out great.  Not chicken kiev great, but still pretty fucking good.

My vote still goes to Lea&Perrins BBQ sauce tho, oh how I wish I could still find that stuff, best bbq sauce EVAR!

I use their Worchester sauce in red meats often.  I've never tried their BBQ sauce or sauce for chicken, though.  If I can get some, I'll give it a go.

FAQ (http://www.leaperrins.com/contacts.php#qg)

Never tried the bold and spicy, the stuff im talking about is really sweet, but still has that BBQ sauce tang.  Unfortunately, I havn't seen a bottle of it in ~5 years, Albertsons was the only store who carried it, and they shut down all their San Antonio stores.  Of course, now that I'm up in DFW, and have Albertsons again, I can't find the stuff  :heartbreak:.

It used to come in a glass bottle with a paper wrapper, and is soooo good.

Just called, they discontinued all of their BBQ sauces.  Fucking bastards.

My blog is the new recipe thread, but here's my favorite pork recipe:

2 Pork loin chops, 1" thick
1 slice bacon (streaky bacon, for those of you on the other side of the pond), cut into little bits
1 tbsp butter
1 granny smith apple, peeled, cored and sliced
1/2 small onion, sliced thinly
2 tsp chopped dried apricots or golden raisins (may be omitted if you find cooked raisins evil)
1/4 c bourbon or whiskey
1/4 c apple juice (you can use water)
S&P

Preheat oven to 350. In a medium-sized, oven-proof skillet, melt butter over medium heat. Add bacon and cook for a few minutes until bacon is browned. Add pork chops and brown on both sides for just 2 or 3 minutes. Remove pork chops from pan and set aside. Add apple, onion and apricots to pan, and saute for a few minutes until apple and onion softens a bit and starts to brown. Deglaze pan with bourbon and apple juice. Add a pinch of salt and a coupla cracks of pepper. Return pork chops to pan and spoon some of the liquid and appley mix on top of the chops. Put the whole thing in the oven for like 10 or 15 minutes, until chops are cooked to medium (using the touch test or a meat thermometer reading 145 degrees in the center of the chop, but you really should just learn the touch test).

This is really tasty with spaetzle or some other buttered noodles, a nice green salad with pears and blue cheese, and a crisp white wine.

Upstate NY has tons of apple orchards. This year I finally (!!) found the love triangle that is apples (and cider) + onions + pork. How the hell did I miss that one??

VDL's Sexy Pear Foccia was a HUGE hit at my sister's house!  Why is this thread not a sticky?  We always eventually end up here.  (http://www.sheknows.com/graphics/emoticons/cooking.gif)

After I knocked everyone out last year, I cut the menu down big time this year. Last year it was like someone released a nerve agent into the house, the chairs and sofas were littered with unconscious bodies. This year I kept it to prime rib, mashed potatoes and a salad (which I ignored). With a red wine pan gravy with mushrooms that I almost ignored even though it rocked.

Prime rib came out perfect, but for some reason even though I rested it before cutting, it drained like a motherfucker and about half the cut was dry. Nobody else seems to notice or care, but I get pissed when things don't work out perfectly.

Yay! Glad it worked. So easy, so delish.

I made potroast, and since I didn't have an extra 2 hours to let it braise, it was a wee bit dry for my taste. But with similar accoutrement of mashed potatoes with veal demiglace/red wine pan gravy, roasted heirloom carrots and baby parsnips, and a nice green salad with roasted golden beets, granny smith apples and shaved parmiggiano regiano (and a white balsamic-dijon dressing), everything was pretty tasty.

The toughest thing for me is cooking at my mom's house. She doesn't really cook, so I have to try and bring my whole mise en place, and I always forget shit or don't have enough time for proper prep. My apartment kitchen sucks, but it's functional. Can't wait to get a house and host xmas myself. Even having to do the dishes is worth having so much less hassle making the meal imo.

My local market finally got in some good parm/reg and I've been gnawing on a big hunk of it every time I open the fridge.

Bacon-Wrapped Shrimp
Serves 4 to 6

You will need about 25 sturdy toothpicks for this recipe.

4   ounces bacon (4 slices)
1/4   teaspoon table salt
1/8   teaspoon ground black pepper
Pinch cayenne pepper
24   extra-large shrimp (1 pound), peeled and deveined
2   tablespoons minced fresh chives
1. Adjust an oven rack 6 inches from the broiler element and heat the broiler. Line a broiler-pan bottom with foil and cover with the slotted broiler-pan top.

2. Slice each piece of bacon lengthwise into two long, thin strips, then cut each strip into three short pieces (you should have a total of 24 bacon pieces). Spread the bacon pieces out over four layers of paper towels on a microwave-safe plate. Cover with two more layers of paper towels. Microwave on high until the bacon fat begins to melt but the bacon is still pliable, about 1 1/2 minutes.

3. Meanwhile, toss the salt, pepper, and cayenne together in a small bowl, then sprinkle over the shrimp.

4. Wrap a piece of microwaved bacon around the middle of each shrimp and place on the broiler-pan top, pinning the bacon ends underneath the shrimp. Broil until the shrimp are pink and the edges of the bacon are brown, spinning the broiler pan around halfway through cooking, about 3 1/2 minutes. Skewer the shrimp and bacon with toothpicks and transfer to a serving platter. Sprinkle with the chives before serving.

Just lifted this from a cooksillustrated email. They never steer me wrong, though...and the food of the week appears to be bacon. Well, except for baconsaltboy   :awesome_for_real:

Ok one of the interns I just hired was doing the Right Thing by kissing the Boss's Ass. (ugh please)  But I get this bag (well oiled at the base) of Honest Ta Gawd Down on the Farm Pig Just Got Slaughtered Cracklins.  I ate a few (the first hit is free) and immediately decided my tongue is no longer my friend.  Can this stuff be cooked with?  Soups haves got to be ummm on the table.

Someone please make garlic bread using bacon salt and tell me if it's any good. 

Thank you in advance.

PS  Also, is it nice on popcorn?

I don't even understand the words you just said.

I bet if you could get bacon salt in crunchy flake form it would be amazing. It would also prolly be really good on pancakes or maple fudge.

My sister had a couple of people over for dinner the other night.  She wanted to make your Sexy Pear Foccia but was running late so she made it with one of thoe Boboli (?) pizza crusts.  Everyone nearly fainted with orgasmic joy joy.  Your bread is a hit everywhere. 

Yay! I made some more the other night too. I think a little prosciutto would be tasty on it.

I bet the pear and prosciutto would be really nice together.  Maybe one with prosciutto and Asiago cheese.  We can make anything with a bit of dough and what ever is in the fridge! 

A question:

So I just had a Sauce Gribiche that came with some Pate Maison I ordered, to me it looked and tasted like a lemony tartar sauce.  I looked it up online and apparently a Sauce Gribiche is similar to Tartar Sauce but its ingredients aren't supposed to be fully emulsified (as opposed to the fully emulsified sauce I had, as well as the Gribiche recipes online do not contain lemon).  Is this true?

They probably made it in a blender instead of by hand (ending up with a fully emulsified sauce), using lemon instead of vinegar for acid balance and then stirred in the cornichons at the end. Technically, I wouldn't call the sauce they gave you gribiche, but they prolly figured no one would know the difference (and gribiche sounds so much better than the tartar sauce they actually did serve you).

Where is this recipe?

I looked for it in this thread and using te search but did not find. I don't eat sweets myself, but it sounds like something the wife would like, and appreciate it if I made it for her as a surprise.

Just a note. BEEF JERKY TIME. Got some cure and spices for xmas, bought a roast and butchered it up into jerky strips. Made the first batch last night, mesquite.

First batch lasted a couple hours as I gnawed on it while playing EQ2 and chasing with various Ales. A couple leftover JW Dundee IPA which weren't bad at all, I've shied away from IPAs and Pale Ales in general from a couple bad experiences. Maybe I'm getting a more evolved tongue. Also had a Long Trail Harvest Ale and a scrumdiculously good Ommegang Dubbel (I'm halfway through the 4-pack I'm hoarding).

Anyway, I've got 3 more lbs of meat to dry. My goal is to dry enough in one night that there is some left over the next day.

Oh, I emailed the recipe to Signe. You just use store-bought pizza dough (NOT par-baked pizza crust - hasta be raw dough) rolled out 1/2" thick, spread on thinly-sliced pears and wee sprigs of fresh rosemary, and I like to add blue cheese crumbles. Then give the whole thing a drizzle of olive oil and a pinch of good sea salt. Bake at 425 for 8 minutes or until golden brown.

Easy peasy. Perfect light supper with a green salad (if you add the prosciutto).

(http://bp0.blogger.com/_uVSUPK950uU/Rx08lT385PI/AAAAAAAAAGc/4gKHs6FFKM8/s400/DSCN0898.JPG)

What are you using for spices?

I've got a fair amount of deer meat from the two I killed last weekend and am pretty well tempted to try it myself.  If I screw it up, I've still got plenty left to use in other ways (deer burgers, deer spaghetti, roast, etc)....

Love me some bambi :drool:

Ooh! I'm making some venison chorizo this weekend! Since I don't have a smoker I'm keeping it fresh and will hafta cook it, but it'll be a good use of all the bambi stew meat in my freezer.

Meh, I usually whip together my own pizza dough unless I'm being lazy in which case I just top a boboli (redpack petite diced, well drained + fresh chopped basil + mozz, mebbe some pepperoni = a quickie for n evening after a hard day of work). I guess I should get back in the habit of using the store dough for lazy nights, I got super lazy  :grin: The key imo is the fresh basil, it's never the same without it.

Tempted to give the pear pie a spin...

For jerky spices: http://shop.himtnjerky.com/online/product.php?productid=74&cat=248&page=1 Let it cure for 24 hours per 1/4" thickness.

(http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/kitchen/blog/mario_cupcakes.jpg) (http://www.aldenteblog.com/2008/01/crazy-for-cupca.html)

omg are those cuppy cakes? I need to eat those!!  :awesome_for_real:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/hello_naomi/

(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2329/2210569000_2112344183_m.jpg) (http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2130/1752384725_349aaa4468_m.jpg)

(http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1126/1470259931_05a74d4788_m.jpg) (http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1072/1353875804_2cebf0b1be_m.jpg)

(http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1097/1273806728_4aef7311e1_m.jpg)

NOM NOM NOM NOM

Sky reads kotaku lol.

3 continents agree this recipie rocks :

Shavnir's world famous meatballs :

Start off with some ground beef, mix in a couple tbsp of minced onions.  You're going to want to dice up half an onion for this anyways.  Add in some oats to help hold the meatballs together.  Brown 'em in a skillet, use some oil if you don't want cleanup to be hell then take them off the heat.

At the same time combine these ingredients :

1 c. water
1 c. ketchup
3 T Worcestershire sauce
3 T Sugar
3 T Vinegar
3 T diced onions (told ya)

It should be noted I usually make between a double and a triple batch of this sauce.  Mix well on medium heat, add meatballs in as they're finished browning and let simmer and simmer and simmer.  I usually allow it to simmer for about an hour but once I had three hours and it was to die for.  Let simmer until a proper thickness (and until your kitchen smells of the sauce).  Serve on some noodles or something, the meatballs are actually just there to supplement the sauce.

Sky has an amazon plog.

Not a snack, but I can't find where V was talking about her ducks..

Anyhow, I totally change my opinion on that. Some friends brought back some after a week of hunting. Not fat at all (I suppose last time I ate duck it was farm raised). One batch was marinated in some soy/garlic heavy type of sauce (forgot the name), but another batch was soaking in this raspberry/chipotle sauce (omg good shit!). We put em on the grill like doves, wrapped in jalapenos, cream cheese, and bacon.

I think the duck thing was in Useless Vids.  Sauced and I are making cassoulet this weekend, so I'll be picking up some duck too! But mine will be simmered in duck fat for 2 hours.  :drill:

Use that raspberry/chipotle sauce sometime, and just grill them. Seriously.

I love the sweet/spicy thang, so maybe I will!

Not to completely derail, anyone into bread baking?  :awesome_for_real:

I'm totally gonna learn to bake this year! I have resources... why do you ask?

Ah missed the post.  For some odd reason I have gotten myself interesting in baking, I'm just starting out but was wondering about some of the more trickier things (Keeping and creating a viable starter, creating steam for better crusts without destroying your oven in the process).

My main problem is I'm on a diet where I can't eat bread so I can't taste any of it, I managed to bake 3 Banana Breads (didn't have time to make something with yeast) without eating any, but I dare not bake a Gingerbread lest my hands and mouth move involuntarily.

A diet without bread. Insanity I tell you. More carbs means more energy for exercise means more weight loss.

Sorry about the derail though. I know shit about baking.

Fuck sake Joshua. Why are you taking diet advice from Eric?! Any diet that has you eliminate an entire food group is not scientifically sound. You can eat anything you want while losing weight, you just can't eat shitloads of it all the time! Fuck. FUCK.

edit - you know i only use real names when I'm serious.  :x

Listen to Heather.

Thank you, Ken.

It's Kenny actually. Whether I like it or not.. Apparently, I'm not uptight enough to be a Ken.

Having dabbled in bread a bit let me throw a few things at ya.

King Arthur Flour. They got a web presence. Check it out. You may be able to buy at your local store.

Get a stone for your oven. The temp can not be to high for baking.

A bread machine kneads like nothing else. They bake like a toaster oven. So, The best thing is mix and kneed in a good bread machine (zo) and bake in a murderously hot  oven with a thick stone.

The afore mentioned king Aurthur flour sells a white whole wheat flour. If you haven't try ed it and your are inclined to the whole wheat sort of stuff I would encourage you to give it a go. The taste is not like the red whole wheat.

All in my opinion and I could be wrong and Yadda, Yadda.

Proof your yeast and happy trails to ya.

King Arthur flour is good. And we have a stone that just lives in our oven.

21 pounds down in 3 and a half weeks, anyway when we go to GDC I'm off the diet for dinner, so we'll see how much weight I gain when I introduce carbs and dairy back into my eatings.

I'm making a whole wheat bread from my King Arthur cookbook right now, if it turns out good I'll post it for inquiring minds.

No dairy either? You really are insane.  :-P

Grats on the 21 lbs though.

If you're gonna be touring/walking around a lot for GDC, the carbs won't be bad for you at all. That's what they're good for.

Going back for a minute to the raspberry/chipotle and soy/garlic stuff. Funny. Saturday night we had chicken burritos with a raspberry/chipotle salsa (zomg need to make fresh, store bought is meh) and last night we had chicken marinated in soy/garlic. Had a soy/lime based sauce with onion, bell pepper and garlic (the pantry special), though I overdid the lime zest a bit. Over some nice mellow wild rice cooked in stock with some buttery soft onion.

Temperature is why even with a pizza stone, homemade pizza is never as good as stuff cooked in a good pizza oven or a good wood stove.

Diet, pfft. I'm lifting again.  :drill:

wild rice was what was missing from that duck meal... Kept telling my friends that, but they insisted on mashed potatoes.

Did you ever post the recipe for this raspberry and chipotle concoction?

I meant I needed to make it fresh because the store-bought version we had was a tease. Decent taste, but the texture was awful. I don't have a recipe.

Not sure about the texture of what we used.. It was just a marinade.

I made a smoky blackberry glaze for lamb ribs once. I just cooked down a pint of pureed/strained blackberries with a few drops of liquid smoke, a spoonful of honey and a half spoonful of molasses, a dribble of balsamic and some salt and pepper to taste. Simmer in a pan until sticky. Brush on the protein of your choosing.

Things like this don't need a recipe, just a palate. "Raspberry-chipotle" is evocative enough that you should be able to just add a little chipotle en adobo to some raspberries and puree to a smooth rouille. Then strain out the seeds and chipotle skin, pressing with a wooden spoon or rubber spatula through a fine-mesh sieve. It will invariable need a little sweet and a little acid, like all good marinades - a bit of honey and some lime juice or red wine vinegar would be nice. DONE.

Alas that requires risk and creativity when it comes to cooking, I like my recipes with my instructions telling me exactly what to do.  I assume this is the same as when one is a child and they don't want to leave the safety of the training wheels on their bike.

Anyway it doesn't matter because if I made it nobody would eat it.  I wish I was baking bread though right now, I should get a job at a bakery.

Are you saying you still have training wheels on your bike?  :uhrr:

We just got in a new recipe book by donation that I like for newer cooks. It enforces the fact that most basic recipes can be tweaked into different dishes once you know the basics. I think it could be taken much further, maybe we should write one! Anyway, it'll take a basic chicken sauté and give you 6 variations of it.

http://www.amazon.com/How-Cook-Everything-Simple-Recipes/dp/0471789186

And I also saw this one linked, might be good for a beginner:
http://www.amazon.com/How-Cook-Everything-Mark-Bittman/dp/076456756X

The talk about breads reminded me of Steingarten:
http://www.amazon.com/Man-Who-Ate-Everything/dp/0375702024

How to Cook Everything should be a required gift for anyone graduating college. It really is a great first cookbook.

I'm trying your focaccia recipie tonight. Thanks for the ideas :)

So I made Cinammon-Raisin bread on Sunday, Conchas (or Pan Dulce, I guess it has a couple names) on Tuesday, and today I'm planning on making Zucchini bread.

All I can think about is baking.

Planked porterhouse steak

1 porterhouse steak, 2 inches thick
2 cups mashed potatoes
1/4 cup melted butter
salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
6 slices lime

Procure a porterhouse steak of fine-grained texture, bright red in color and marbled with fat.  Trim off the excess fat and wipe with a clean cloth.  Heat a wire broiler, grease it with some of the fat, and broil the steak over a hot charcoal fire for 3 minutes on each side.  Take a well-seasoned oak plank which has never been washed but which has been kept scrupulously clean by being scraped with a dull knife and wiped with good olive oil.  Lay the steak on the plank, surround with a border of fluffy mashed potatoes, and put in a 450° oven.  After 9 minutes, brush the potatoes over with the melted butter and salt and pepper the steak.  Return to the oven for 5 minutes, remove, paint with butter, sprinkle with the parsley, garnish with the slices of lime, and serve at once.

---

Had to substitute sirloin for the porterhouse, a cast-iron stovetop grill for the charcoal fire, and a baking sheet for the oak plank.  Still turned out pretty well.

(http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/1565/steakin1.jpg)

Goign by memory on what I made for dinner last night. Doesn't really match up in complexity with some of the Wellingtons and Pear Foccacia type things typically in this thread, but I thought it might apeal to those like me that want easy and good tasting food.

Take 2 slices Proscuito Ham, spice with lemmon pepper or something similar and basil, fresh if you have it. Add half of one Chicken breast sliced in to two fillets on to each, add salt, add several pieces baby spinach, and finally top with a slice of creamy Havarti. Roll up and hold together with a toothpick or skewer.

You want to steam the rolls. I dont have a big steamer, so I put my vegie steamer in to my wok. Put the rolls in a small flat bowl, and drizzle with about 1/4 cup chicken broth. Put the boll in the steamer over boiling water and cover. Takes about 7 minutes to cook through.

Fast, fancy looking, and really tasty.

Ahhh beef. I'm saving up my red meat for super bowl sliders, but dang that steak looks hell of naughty.

I made some really good slaw last night. I call it:

Rocket Slaw
Chiffonade just means to stack (as with leaves) and slice sliver-thin. Kohlrabi tastes a bit like a mild radish, which makes sence since it is a brassica. So is the rocket. The pepperiness of the kohlrabi and rocket are balanced nicely by the sweet tang of the dressing.

1 kohlrabi, mandolined, then stacked and chiffonade
1 bunch rocket (aka arugula) chiffonade
1/4 c chiffonade Italian parsely
2 tbsp dried cranberries
2 tbsp chopped roasted nuts of your choice - almonds are nice

Slaw dressing
like a tbsp or two low-fat mayo
1 tbsp good German sweet-hot mustard
2 tbsp heavy whipping cream
1/4-1/2 c white balsamic vinegar (or other mild, sweet vinegar - rice or champagne would be nice)
1 tbsp sugar
fat pich salt
cracks pepper

Combine veg in a bowl. In a mixing cup combine dressing ingredients. Drizzle over slaw. This would prolly be awesome on a classed-up shrimp po' boy.

If you aren't eating bread, who are you baking for, Ookii? 

To whomever will eat it.  Mostly at work, though I'll start dumping more on the Schild so he can bring it to work.

 :hello_thar:

Speaking of. I'm out of bread.

Make something I can eat, THX.

The Conchas were a big hit at work, I'm sure people liked them over at GD as well.

I can make Blueberry bread tonight if requested.

Don't post anymore!  You are BINARY!

Whole wheat? I'll take a loaf. It needs to be bready though. Not cake.

Oh, speaking of. Can't you just make white bread in a jiffy? I can eat that too.

Yeah that aint happening then, if it involves yeast it waits until the weekend.

Unless you want to learn how to make bread  :awesome_for_real:

CAN'T YOU SEE HE IS BAKING AS FAST AS HE CAN!!!

Bacon candy (http://www.aldenteblog.com/2008/02/im-a-lucky-girl.html)

Yummeh, sugar-coated bacony goodness.

(http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/1636/beerbreadresizebz3.jpg)

I called in sick to work and made bread!  Its hydration is mostly comprised of beer too!  :drill:

And Pizza the other day:

(http://img128.imageshack.us/img128/3231/dannypizzaep3.jpg)

I'd sauté the mushrooms. I have a thing about raw or canned mushrooms on pizza, though. And I make incredibly tasty sauteed mushrooms.

I need to start taking pictures. VL is a scourge on the cooks here  :awesome_for_real:

Sunday night I made meatballs with a real simple sauce, according to a Cook's Illustrated cookbook (THE CI cookbook, The New Best Recipe). Called for an interesting mixture, mostly how I've always made meatballs but instead of bread crumbs, it calls for fresh bread (pulsed in the food proc, which I don't have, so minced by knife) soaked in buttermilk. However, instead of buttermilk you can sub in 3 parts plain yogurt to 1 part milk to thin, mash it together and let sit for 10 min, then mash into a paste. Mix the paste into the meatball mix (seasonings, yolk, etc).

Had a bunch of mix leftover, so I made a meat sauce last night of my own devising, leftover special. Brown the meat, remove to warm plate. Heat olive oil and saute red & green bell peppers (had no onion or garlic  :ye_gods: ). Drop in some seasonings and let them bloom for a few seconds. Dump in a can of diced tomatoes (redpack with basil) and a wee can of tomato paste to thicken the juice from the diced ones. Add 1/4 of the meat back in and simmer down. Then add in the rest of the meat and some fresh basil, stir until meat is completely integrated into the sauce. Served over fusilli bucati, our new favorite pasta.

Those meatballs sound fussy. I use panko straight from the bag, and it works great. The meat sauce sounds nice, though.  :oh_i_see:

 Dicing the bread (we had some leftover buns) took a couple minutes, but then it's just dumping it in a bowl with the yogurt/milk mix. Sooo tender inside, and I crisped them up nice on the outside. Should try it once to see how you like it, and then incorporate what you will. I'm a recipe borg like that. There's some scientific reason the dairy products help keep the meat tender in the sauce and through cooking. Cut/paste of the original:

Classic Spaghetti and Meatballs
Published: January 1, 1998
Serves 4 to 6

This streamlined recipe can be on the table in under an hour.
INGREDIENTS

Meatballs
2    slices  white sandwich bread (crusts discarded), torn into small cubes
1/2    cup  buttermilk or 6 tablespoons plain yogurt thinned with 2 tablespoons sweet milk
3/4    pound  ground beef chuck ( or 1 pound if omitting ground pork below)
1/4    pound  ground pork (to be mixed with ground chuck)
1/4    cup  grated Parmesan cheese
2    tablespoons  minced fresh parsley leaves 
1    large egg yolk
1    small clove  garlic , minced (1 teaspoon)
3/4    teaspoon  table salt
Ground black pepper
vegetable oil for pan-frying (about 1 1/4 cups)

Simple Tomato Sauce
2    tablespoons  extra-virgin olive oil
1    teaspoon  minced garlic
1 can (28 ounces) crushed tomatoes
1    tablespoon  minced fresh basil leaves
Table salt and ground black pepper
1    pound  spaghetti
grated Parmesan cheese


See Illustrations Below: Making Meatballs

1. For the meatballs: Combine bread and buttermilk in small bowl, mashing occasionally with fork, until smooth paste forms, about 10 minutes.
2. Mix all meatball ingredients, including bread mixture and pepper to taste in medium bowl. Lightly form 3 tablespoons of mixture into 1 1/2-inch round meatballs; repeat with remaining mixture to form approximately 14 meatballs. (Compacting them can make the meatballs dense and hard. Can be placed on large plate, covered loosely with plastic wrap, and refrigerated for several hours.)
3. Bring 4 quarts of water to boil in large pot for cooking pasta.
4. Meanwhile, heat 1/4 -inch vegetable oil over medium-high heat in 10- or 11-inch sauté pan. When edge of meatball dipped in oil sizzles, add meatballs in single layer. Fry, turning several times, until nicely browned on all sides, about 10 minutes, regulating heat as needed to keep oil sizzling but not smoking. Transfer browned meatballs to paper towel--lined plate; set aside. Repeat, if necessary, with remaining meatballs.
5. For the sauce, discard oil in pan, leaving behind any browned bits. Add olive oil along with garlic; sauté, scraping up any browned bits, just until garlic is golden, about 30 seconds. Add tomatoes, bring to boil, and simmer gently until sauce thickens, about 10 minutes. Stir in basil; add salt and pepper to taste. Add meatballs and simmer, turning them occasionally, until heated through, about 5 minutes. Keep warm over low flame.
6. Meanwhile, add 1 tablespoon salt and pasta to boiling water. Cook until al dente, drain, and return to pot. Ladle several large spoonfuls of tomato sauce (without meatballs) over spaghetti and toss until noodles are well coated. Divide pasta among individual bowls and top each with a little more tomato sauce and 2 to 3 meatballs. Serve immediately with grated cheese passed separately.

That's the one from Cooks Illustrated.  I have that recipe.  That's so weird.  I only used it once, though.  I don't like their meatballs. 

You're not supposed to shove them down your shirt.

Shuddup, you!  I should have said... I like meatballs and meatloaf made with veal, lamb and pork, and it has to have onions in it.  I'm not so crazy about beef or mostly beef meatballs.  Sorry about the veal!   :ye_gods:

Busy bread weekend!

(http://img86.imageshack.us/img86/8418/breadswg5.jpg)

Whole Wheat Banana Bread, a nice Rustic Bread, a Whole Wheat Oatmeal Sandwich Loaf, and Bialys in the foreground.

And you don't eat any of that?    :ye_gods:

I used to bake lots.  All kinds of nice stuffs. Not so much anymore.  We bought a treadmill instead.  I think it probably suits us better.

Yah, that's crazy talk, Ooks. By the time you can eat it again, you'll have honed your craft, I guess.

I don't eat sweet, sugary, gooey things (especially if they're chocolate) so I can actually make or buy stuff like that for Righ and not be super tempted.  I'd have a much more difficult time avoiding those gorgeous breads!

Very nice texture to the crumb. You either used a bread machine or you worked at it. But nice job looks great and I am sure it tastes great.

Okay, this post is mostly  :awesome_for_real:, but while I was checking my gmail university account today, here's what I saw as a headline:

New Recipe: Spam Confetti Pasta! (http://www.recipesource.com/main-dishes/meat/pork/spam/00/rec0018.html)

Oh yeah. That's all kinds of good.

I was just talking to Sauced about how spam would prolly be good on a banh mi. We just watched the Hawaii episode of No Reservations.

Bad taste.  My apologies.

 :uhrr:

Did you mean to post that in the bacon thread?

No, but I should have. 

So we're having this gigantic potluck at work and I'm wondering what I should make.  Last week we had a picnic/bbq and I made this Thai grilled dessert I found on the intrawebs, a banana wrapped in sticky rice cooked in coconut milk and brown sugar, wrapped in a banna leaf and grilled until yummy.

I want something similar for the potluck, something exotic I can make that will:

- Taste good
- Look good

I'm trying to expand the horizons of my co-workers, people in Arizona rarely eat outside of their own ethnic groups (for the most part, it's a stereotype for godsakes).

Chocolate beignets with roasted banana ice cream!

Actually, that would be ruined in the heat. Bake some baguette and make some banh mi. You can slice them into 2-3" slices like one-a those giant hero sammiches. Everyone loves ham loaf and liver pâté! And the Latinos will at least recognize the jalapeños, cilantro and Maggi sauce. So will the Indians. It'll be a We Are the World love-in on bread!

typos edits

Eh I didn't really have sammiches in mind, I was thinking about Indian myself.

I'm partial to a spicy chana dal, myself.

Okay how about something that is flashy and yummy and which has a main protein that isn't lentils.

Chana dal is chick peas. But you could do some fish or chicken tikka, right? What's the thing where it's on the sizzling clay plate?

Don't ask me for a recipe, you'll hafta epicurious that shit.

Vindaloo!

Also, I've had a couple of successful meals.   One was champagne risotto (zomg so good).  The other I made quiche, crust and everything.

Last weekend I made some home made biscuits, but I think I put too much sugar in, they came out way sweeter than I wanted (still good, but too sweet).  VDL you had a biscuit recipie you use right?  I've been combining the cold butter with the flour w/ a food processor since it seems the best way.

Anyone have any killer biscuit recipies?

I have some of them in my bread books at home, the only problem is they all call for this one specific brand of flour that makes the best biscuits.

I'm sure you could substitute with a flour of the same protein level though...

Protien level?   :awesome_for_real:

All I knows is you sifts the flour!

Yar, here you go (http://voodoolily.blogspot.com/2008/02/bela-lugosis-dead.html).

That's the stuff you sexy minx.

March 17th. While other people go out and get publicly shit-faced, I make stew. Guinness stew, easy-peasy style.

Got a great deal on a massive chuck roast, cleaned it up and diced into 1" chunks. Browned and thrown into slow-cooker. Sauteed mushrooms in butter, into cooker. Sauteed onions and garlic, into cooker. Worked up a roux and added thyme and chipotle (called for cayenne, the smoky aroma of the blooming chipotle was great). Added beef broth and guinness (two bottles!), thickened and dumped into cooker. Diced potatoes and added a bag or shredded carrot leftover from a salad. Simmer for hours until the meat falls apart.

At first I thought I may have added too much chipotle, but I think it's about perfect. Which means everyone else will be looking for a fire extinguisher. More for me!

That sounds really good, man.

Thanks! I had a recipe but decided it sucked and just threw it together like I usually do (seat of pants). I'd par-boil the potato chunks and carrot next time, the roots took forever to soften, though the potatoes ended up nice and creamy because I let it simmer an extra few hours.

Since everyone + brother was buying corned briskets, I nabbed one on the supah cheap. Going to clean out the slow cooker tonight and cook up the brisket for reubens on Thursday. I make a decent (basic, easy) reuben but need to come up with a better solution for the kraut. Store-bought bagged kraut is a big letdown when paired with a quality brisket, a nice mellow nutty swiss and fresh rye...pan-friend in butter, of course.

You could try a braised cabbage or just make a slaw (since a reuben has thousand island) with a remoulade instead of store-bought mayo. Adding a hit of vinegar to your slaw will wilt a bit, giving that kraut tooth to it.

My wife did a corned beef in the slow cooker on Sunday. She found some 'fresh' sauerkraut in the deli section of the local store that was actually quite decent. Some good rye (sliced on site for us) and swiss, a dollop of Newman's 1000 Island, and pop the whole thing into the panini press. Nirvana.

Made Ciabatta this weekend!

(http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/5184/ciabattare4.jpg)

(http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/4872/ciabattacrumbkz9.jpg)

Nom nom nom.

Grats! That looks really good.  I made Tabouleh but couldn't get the parsley as finely chopped as I wanted.

Ciabatta bread makes the bestest toast ever.

Ooks, start a fake blog just to post your pictures so I can post them on Tastespotting, k?

Currently eating the results of my first try at a recipie my Mom does for the holidays, and it turned out great so I thought I'd share. We'd always been a Mashed Yams/Sweet Potatoes with Marshmallows on top family until she found this recipie. It's on the simple side for a VDL thread, but hey, I'm still learning this whole cooking thing and figure there a people in a similar boat here.

Orange Flavoured Yams

2 or 3 average Yams - cubed
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
juice of one large orange
orange zest
1 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 teaspon vanilla
1 cup pecan bits or halves, lightly toasted

Mix the orange juice, zest, spices, vanilla and sugar in a bowl. Throw the yam cubes in the slow cooker, pour the mixture overtop, spoon in the butter in blobs. Cook on high for about two hours, mixing in the pecans at the last minute. Yummy.

Simple is best. This looks like my recipe for sweet potatoes. Even the pecans on top. You can speed this up by steaming the yams first (if you want to east this on a weeknight).

I like simple, too. My thing is to make simple recipes with the best ingredients I can get (my fiancee pokes me whenever Gordon Ramsey says that).

My biggest hurdle with food is trying new stuff. I love cheese, but it's not cheap and I don't want to waste money on some cheese that might be nasty. Not really much in the way of free tasting events in the area, last one I know of was a couple years ago and still didn't introduce me to anything new.

There's no such thing as nasty cheese.  :drill:

Trying new stuff isn't hard, just pick something up sometime and then Wiki it. See what other people do with it, then tweak it.

More bread!

(http://img59.imageshack.us/img59/4176/easypq2.jpg)

This one is super easy too, doesn't even need kneading!  :drill:

ooooh.  Scoop out the middle of that and make me something Mediterranean!

Ookii, please tell me that you've got an awesome recipe for chala and will have a batch whipped up for the Phoenix GTG, I havn't had good jewbread and hummus in over a year, and I'm jonesin.

I have recipes, haven't quite attempted that yet though.

I'll do it for you.

I suggest that people who want to eat veggies but hate them to read The Sneaky Chef to learn how to put veggie purees into tasty food.

Love that bread picture.  Anyone have some good bread recipes?

Now that I'm moving back to sea level, I bet I'll be able to bake bread again.   High altitude recipes are terrible.

Fucking awesome, if you have multiple recipes, try the ones that want a little bit of sugar first, I *think* that was what Chava did to make it so tasty.

I'll type out the recipe!

6.5 Cups All Purpose Flour
1.5 Tablespoons Instant Yeast
1.5 Tablespoons Salt
3 cups water

This is a unique recipe, you create a dough you can leave in the fridge for up to two weeks which allows you to rip off pieces whenever you feel like having a little bread.  This also means you have to have a 4 quart or so container you can store the dough that has some sort of ventilation as gases will accumulate which need to be vented (no screw on lids).  Basically:

Put the water in the container with the salt first and then the yeast.  Mix in the flour until it's all incorporated (no dry spots), usually I mix with a spoon and then dive in with my hands (make sure you wet your hands) to mix all the last little bits.  Leave the container out for two hours and then stick it in the fridge, apparently you can bake it if you want after the two hour mark, though I've only done it the next day.  When you want to bake the dough you sprinkle some flour on the surface of the dough, cut off a grapefruit sized piece with a knife, and start shaping it into a little perfect loaf.  Basically you stretch it out so it's flat, and then start tucking the dough underneath the non-floured surface to create surface tension on the floured surface, doing quarter turns as you go.  This will create a nice little loaf, it will look small but the oven spring for this formula is quite nice.  Leave it out for 40 minutes on a piece of parchment paper, 20 minutes in set your oven to 450.  It will help if you have a baking stone (I do, Super Saltillo unglazed quarry tiles from Lowes), but you could use the bottom side of a baking pan if you must.  Put your baking stone on the bottom or second from the bottom position of your oven.  Put another baking pan (one that you don't care about screwing up) below your baking stone, most people put it on the very bottom of the oven, I put mine on the bottom most rack position.  After the 40 minutes is up put the loaf with the parchment paper on the baking stone and put 1 cup of hot water from your tab into the baking pan (watch out, steam hurts!).  Bake for 30 minutes.

It creates a plain bread that compliments well, it's nothing incredibly special (apart from being incredibly cheap and easy to make) but most people won't know the difference.

Thanks Ookii.  I'm betting that I could mess with that recipe quite a bit by substituting other flours (i.e. mixing white and wheat) and adding other ingredients to taste.  I'm sick of the spongecake bread that seems so common in grocery stores.

You can mess with it but not too much, for instance I'm trying a batch right now that has 1/2 a cup of rye and 1/2 a cup of wheat instead of one of the cups of all purpose flour, I imagine more than that might alter the formula too much.

This bread is very doughy, so I would try it out first and make sure you'll like it.  If you want more airy bread you'll have to go the harder route, or try that NY Times recipe (or the Cooks Illustrated version which improves upon it apparently).

I'm a total Cooks Illustrated whore.

Just sayin'. Also, a baking stone is a must. I need to get to making more bread, but I make a mean pizza.

I saw an ep of Diners, Drive-Thrus and Dives last night that gave me a cool angle on corned beef brisket. They cut the brisket into big chunks (BIG chunks, 4-5 inches across) After the normal wet cooking, remove it to a big pot and dump in some stone-ground mustard and brown sugar, mix it around with your hands to cover all the chunks. Cover and pop in the oven to finish. Makes a nice looking outer glaze, I might leave off the cover to crisp it a bit.

And this is for CB they are just using in hash. I love that show, lots of good local twists on recipes.

The host pisses me off though.

I like Guy. Though he needs to stop calling stuff "money".

Guy "Fietti" is a douchebag.

I like diners, drive-ins, and dives. I think his cooking show is silly though.

(http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/1175/sourdoughxn4.jpg)

Sourdough  :drill:

You are a mega cunt.

I want to bake bread, but no one will eat it.

Sing it, sister.

Gordon Ramsay however is a god.

That is all.

I'll see your god and raise you a hottie.

He is hot..

However there is also Marco Pierre White..

I know he's older (I have a thing for older men) but he is sexy AND..he is an amazing cook. (http://www.showbizspy.com/story/images/marco-pierre-white-sbs-august-2007.jpg)

Oh mah gah yes he is smokin' hot. In his younger days he was drop-dead.

(http://i203.photobucket.com/albums/aa221/bluesy_uk/MarcoPW.jpg)

I love his "I don't give a shit" look.

And that hair. Drooling. :ye_gods:

I love Gordon Ramsey.  He's footballer cute where White is rock n' roll cute in his early years and Sicilian mafia cute now.  White seems to be a total whore who can be had by any pretty face.  I expect his Michelin inspectors were all women.  I think it's cool he has a Japanese manservant name Mr. Ishii.  He seems to go out with Tiffany from Eastenders now.   :ye_gods:

To me, the look in his his says "I'll fucking cut you." Rowr.

Ramsey is rough-and-tumble footballer cute, but it's very endearing to see him around his kids, too.

I still prefer Bourdain in a totally hetero way. Ramsay has stress issues and Pierre White dicks around on a farm because he's just so fucking special.

Bourdain makes me happy. I like the rougher looking, acting Chefs. Maybe it's the whole bad-boy thing.. dunno.

Has Anthony Bourdain ever had a restaurant?  I've heard him talk about several of his awards but none of them seem to be for cooking.  I think he's primarily a writer and television personality, no?

He was head chef at a restaurant but no, he's never had his own. He loves eating more than making. Also, he's better as a personality than the man behind the hotplate.

Nope, he was the Exec. Chef at Les Halles for about 20 years?


Editing to say I need someone to teach me how to properly bake bread - mine has never come out right. I hate those of you with bread baking ability.

I'm sure Gordon Ramsey has no time at all anymore to run a restaurant, either.  He does have a personality.  Most of the really popular chefs who move to TV have interesting personalities.  Well, except Jamie Oliver, who has to rely on being adorable (well, not so cute anymore).  Even his accent is fake.

WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS??!?!?

(http://www.crafterbation.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/finished-apron-1.jpg)

Nice stools, are they cherry?

If that's linoleum, it needs a scrubbing. If it's tiles, good god CLEAN THE GROUT.

U guyz R teh gaiz.

Wtf.  That looks like my house! 


....


/digs through wife's stuff.



On a side note:  I'm cooking BBQ tonight, but have nothing prepared, anyone want to make a suggestion?  Have a good recipe for grilled ceasar salad?  A meat?

This is not me, nor is it my house. My kitchen is way nicer than this.

Edit for Mr. Hat: if you can get started early, you should try my pulled pork sammiches with kohlrabi slaw (http://voodoolily.blogspot.com/2008/02/pulled-pork-sammies-with-kohlrabi-slaw.html).

Oh did you mean you're grilling tonight? Cuz grilling and barbecue are not the same thing.

Could be dark grout.  Good god, I hope it's dark grout.

VL are those countertops granite?

Dude I just told you that's not me and it's not my kitchen!

Now you have to take an actual picture of your kitchen. That's the only way to solve the problem.

Then why is that chick wearing your apron?

Does VDL seem like the Mama's Family Apron Wearing type?

Really?

And I think that floor is supposed to have the light/dark contrast.

Otherwise someone needs to call one of those maid-services-I-can't-remember-the-name-of-right-now.

Sorry, ya, grilling tonight, still had Bobby Flay on my mind.

So, any suggestions for grilling tonight?

Jesus Christ. That was a lot of fucking setup for the punchline.

Do a whole pork tenderloin (marinate in apple juice and kosher salt for an hour). Serve with grilled tomatoes and polenta cakes (buy a tube of polenta and slice it into 1/2" thick rounds, brush with balsamic vinaigrette and grill).

Edit: Rinse off the brine before cooking, and since the tenderloin comes in two parts, smear mango preserves on the middle and tie it into a log before grilling.

OMG. Just the very thought of grilled polenta makes me wee nipples hard. I think you and Sauced should move into my neighborhood and invite me over for lots of cookouts. I will bring the booze.

My mother made wonderful polenta when I was a kid.  She was an incredible cook.  By the way, it's peasant food.  Most Italian peasant food is kind of nice and comforting.

Posting this here, I desperately need a waffle iron.  The problem?  Waffle irons now adays suck donkeyballs.

-None of this round waffle shit
-None of this Belgian waffle shit
-Actually cooks waffles, you know so they aren't like limpdick leggo my eggo waffles?
-Doesn't suck
-Prefer removable irons for ease of cleaning
-Prefer big heavy and old school

Help me f13...

Do it. Do it nao. (http://www.amazon.com/Krups-FDD912-Expert-Waffle-Rotary/dp/B0000DBJRV/ref=pd_bbs_sr_9?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1209926481&sr=8-9)

I know absolutely nothing about that waffle iron. But it's half off, big, heavy, and has lots of good reviews.

I use the Special K waffles with red berries.  Crisply and yummy!   :awesome_for_real:

This unusual rotating waffle maker is sure to elicit admiration from brunch guests. Made of brushed stainless steel with black accents, the unit not only looks elegant but cooks professionally. After ladling the batter into the deep nonstick bottom plate, the top is firmly closed. After ten seconds, by means of the insulated handle, the waffle maker is rotated upside down and allowed to cook for the remainder of the required time (recipes and times are included in the user guide). The result: two perfect 1-1/4-inch-thick Belgium waffles, crisp on the outside, moist on the inside. A dial features variable browning settings, and two lights indicate when the waffle maker is on and when to add batter. Two curved fixed legs keep the maker upright and a drip tray fits between them to collect any batter overflow. A release button on the handle allows it to collapse for storage. Measuring 7-1/2 by 9-1/2 inches, the cook plates can be wiped clean or conveniently removed and placed in the dishwasher. With the handle collapsed, the waffle maker measures 13 by 8-1/2 by 9-1/2 inches and is covered by a one-year warranty. --Ann Bieri

Do not want.  This is the problem.  They dont make waffle irons that don't suck anymore, I have no idea why.

Dude, what the fuck is bad about a belgium waffle? They're goddamn delicious.

Also, that doesn't apply to you, you don't have brunch guests.

Gah, Belgian waffles aren't Belgian because of the iron, but because of the batter (leavened with yeast). Don't believe the hype.

Closed on the house, first purchase:

(http://images.lowes.com/product/047362/047362326805.jpg)

Happy now.

You got C3PO to hang out on your deck? Sweet!

So you bought a grill.

I must admit, I'm a little surprised and chagrined that you've opted for gas when charcoal gives superior flavor. Although I can respect a no mess-havin' 'cue.

More about quick meals after work. Going to get a charcoal grill down the line for tastier eats on the weekend.

And it's R2-BQ, not C-3PO!

Gratz on closing on the house!

I need good recipes for vegetable side dishes, beyond just steaming things. I prefer things that aren't soaked in fatty creams or cheeses, thus ruining the effect of eating a veggie in the first place, but moderation on the fats is fine. Mostly I'm looking for things that would go well with grilled steak, chicken, and fish.

Show me what you got.

Grats on the house Sky.  Time to sink nails in every wall... because you can. 

If you want something super-quick, easy, not amazingly fancy, but very, very delicious try this:

Baked Asparagus:
Preheat oven to 425
In a casserole dish, layer asparagus evenly without double-stacking.
Drizzle with approximately three tablespoons olive oil.
Sprinkle a blend of salt, pepper, and garlic (with a hint of basil if you're feeling frisky).
Bake twenty minutes.

Voila. I generally serve this as a bed for either mahi-mahi or halibut. I want people to focus on the fish on the plate, so I usually go with something not very fancy for the greens.

Cheers!

Grats on the house, Sky. Get ready for all sorts of bills you never knew existed as a renter  :sad_panda:

Were I to spend a king's ransom on an outdoor cooking device, I would definitely go here-

(http://img2.timeinc.net/toh/i/a/yard/grills-2-06.jpg)


Best steak of my life (restaurants included) came off of one of these in my buddy's back yard. They are amazing.

From my br0g, kohlrabi-arugula slaw (http://voodoolily.blogspot.com/2008/02/pulled-pork-sammies-with-kohlrabi-slaw.html) (I like to call it Rocket Slaw):

Hey VL I challenge you to create a healthy and nutritious meal for a family of four for less than 10 dollars.  You also have to shop for all you ingredients at Whole Foods.

Tilapia will be the main course. And then lettuce. Not sure about a starch.

I think for four you need to expand it to $15 :P

Someone watches too much Top Chef!

She came up with at least 4 meals while we were watching the show.

The dumbasses never hit the bulk bins!

One of my favourite summer things to make is Linguine with rapini, kale or any bitter green, really.  This week I'm going to try VDL's recipe with pancetta.  Yum.  Also, Righ likes this much better than pasta with tomato sauce.  I love bitter greens.  They're great in a salad with apples, citrus fruits, roasted pears, and pine nuts, too.   (http://www.realitybbqforums.com/images/smilies/hellskitchsmiley2.gif)

I love bitter greens too. I still have some rapini to use up. Maybe tonight? I was thinking of making a gratin of fennel and apple with some greens in there (to go with a pork loin chop and a parsnip puree).

Signe is the only person I know who actually cooks my recipes. Or claims to.

I will if you give me your big healthy meals for under 10 bucks recipes.

Though I wouldn't want Antonia's meal.

I also pass on the veggie ones or one that can be turned into veggie/fish recipes to my sister.  She's a really good cook.  I gave her your miso fish recipe and she makes the pear and rosemary focaccia as a side when ever she has company.  I hardly cook anything complicated anymore.  I can't eat most of it anyway.  But I do use a lot of your ideas, if not total recipes.  Sometimes you put together things I hadn't thought of before.  I used to bake a LOT but I've mostly given it up.  Poor Righ.  I can't eat most of what I used to cook anymore, anyway.

PS One of the spell checkermathingamajiggy's suggestions for focaccia is "cowcatcher". 

PPS  I love how you mix food with bugs on your blog, too. 

I like your recipies VDL, but they are usually a little beyond what I'm willing to try. If you want to throw a few "easy" ones up here - especially meat or pasta related, I'd be up for the challenge.

Oh, and parsnip free, preferably.

Don't give him any bacon recipes. 

Anybody have anything good for squash? I like it but have no idea what the hell to do with it.

That's a pretty open ended question. What kinda squash we talkin' about?

Spring rolls FTW.  I don't know why Dale didn't do this.  Sprouts, pea pods, and hell... shrimp is a possibility.  Fresh and tasty. 

Easy veggie dishes? Well I have a few. Fresh green beans sauteed with oregano with olive oil of course. Carrots with beer and dill. Not a lot of beer now. It would be OK if the beer dried up as it finished. Your guests will swear that you sugared the carrots there really sweet. Aspargus and scrambled eggs would be great right now. I of course will get some sauteed onion and garlic in there some how but I am a crazy dago so allowances must be made.

My mother used to make a lovely cold string bean salad with just salt, pepper, olive oil and a bit of fresh mint.  She also used mint and lemon in her iced tea.  I love summer food. 

Paelos - winter squash (acorn, delicata, etc.) roast and mash, stir into risotto; halve and scoop out seeds, stuff with sauteed apple, walnuts and a crumble of blue cheese. Summer squash: slice, grill, and eat as antipasti or on pasta (bite-sized pieces with penne in aglio olio).

Ooki - Any of my soup recipes (http://voodoolily.blogspot.com/search/label/Soup) fit the bill. My white bean, brat and chard soup recipe is <350 cals/serving (a fat, billing bowl), with 12.5 grams fat, 9 grams fiber and 22 grams protein. My big-ass pot of nabe would do it too (although a bit high in sodium).

Bunk - Easy, light supper: Red kale and potato tortilla
Serves 4 as a first course or two as a light dinner

1 fist-sized white or Yukon gold potato, scrubbed and diced
1 clove garlic, minced
2 tbsp minced shallot
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp fresh thyme
pinch red chili flake
3 tbsp julienned sun-dried tomatoes or chopped fresh ones
3 c kale shredded (2 or 3 leaves, destemmed)
4 eggs, lightly beaten (or 2 eggs and 1/2 egg white for a lighter, fluffier version)
1/3 c grated manchego

Preheat your oven to 350. Heat a little oil over medium heat in a medium-sized skillet. Saute the shallot for a minute and toss in the potatoes. Stir the potatoes around and add the garlic and seasonings. When the potato starts to stick to the pan add about a half cup of water and put a lid on it. Let it simmer in there until the potato softens up to your liking. Remove the lid and stir the starchy liquid around, and then add the tomato and kale. Stir this around until the kale wilts a bit. Give it some cracks of pepper and a pinch of salt.

Slowly pour the eggs over the top of the veggies, and let it sit in the hot pan for a minute until it begins to set up a bit. Then sprinkle the cheese over the top. Bake for like 10 minutes. Serve in wedges. I like mine with some toasted como. If you were to have this for dinner you could add a nice mixed green salad.

Sounds interesting actually. I often make omlettey variations for quick dinners, but they are typically more meat oriented. I don't think I've ever bought Kale, and I have no idea what Manchego cheese is like.

To Paelos - regarding squash - we Canadians like to pour maple syrup in them when we bake them.

I like to hollow out acorn squash and fill them with fresh cranberry sauce and bake them.

http://www.cooksillustrated.com/bookstore_detail.asp?PID=325

My diet these days consists of burgers and snappy grillers (http://www.hofmannsausage.com/products/ProductDetails.aspx?CategoryOfProductID=16&ProductID=110). Snappies are ground-up win in a casing. Kitchen is still based out of my apartment, so when we're at the house, it's meat from the grill with a side of meat from the grill.

Thanks for the kind sentiments, I'm amazingly happy these days and it's not even a particularly nice house (I don't make a lot of moolah), but it's a double lot and extra deep, and at the end of a dead-end. Nice and quiet.

Back to recipes! Maple syrup is the nectar of the gods.

I love greens. Chard is another favorite. Manchego is a semi-hard cheese that tastes a bit like Romano or parm. It's delicious in slices with a sliver of quince paste (available in a can in the Latino section of the grocery store).

I use it on various random things. I had a Sockeye fillet the other day, didn't know what to do with it. Decided to crush some walnuts I had, sprinkle em on top, and then doused it in maple syrup. BBQ'd it skin down til done, was really quite good.

I made maple bacon cupcake thingies, I hope they're good.  I'll know in a couple hours.  :oh_i_see:

It's been a couple hours. Are they good?

How about some cornbread muffins with maple syrup and bacon chunks mixed in? Someone make a batch and tell me if I have a winner.

They were OK. They had the consistency of muffins rather than cupcakes.


A thick maple/bacon dip would probably be more palatable.

I was thinking just corn muffins with bacon in them, split and served with a pat of butter and maple syrup on top (like a pancake).

Why spoil it with muffins?  :awesome_for_real:

That makes more sense. When are they going to be done?  :awesome_for_real:

Okay why don't we have like a Top Chef Live thread?

This is just wrong wrong wrong.

BTW: I was waiting for Nikki to kick the damn bucket on this season's show. She should have gone way before Sir Kiwi. I liked him.

The little hobbit - serial killer looking fella.

Paula Deen makes this amazing Corn Casserole..

It's high in fat and calories but in moderation it is so good.

It is chocolate concrete that you make in the fridge. 

Fancy kind:  (http://www.kerrsbakery.com/products/longlife/tiffin_slice.jpg)

Kind in most people's fridge:  (http://simmy.typepad.com/echoesofadream/images/2007/07/12/12julf_2.jpg)

Cadbury makes a chocolate tiffin bar but I never tasted it and I never see it in shops anymore. 

I'm not a tiffin person.

See, the top looks delicious.. the bottom looks more like a meat product. But thank you for the clarification. I've never seen it before today.

The freaky light brown colour in those pictures makes it look as if your recipe uses some kind of cocoa free chocolate.

In which case, no wonder.



5oz butter
5 tsp high quality cocoa or drinking chocolate - I use this (http://www.hotelchocolat.com/cid/PUREEUS890P62CES00L9146GGXN92NEB/Liquid-Chocolat--Classic-P360013US/)
3 tbsp syrup

Melt the above together.

Add

10oz shortbread biscuits - crushed.
Dried fruit and/or nuts to taste.

Line a tin with greaseproof paper, pour everything above into it and press down.

Melt some chocolate (at least 70% cocoa solids), pour on top of the other ingredients, then stick it all in the fridge.


While you wait for the tiffin to set, order more chocolate from the link above, because everything they produce is  :drill:

Oh wow.. "Estate Chocolate.."

Righ has had cravings for this for a couple weeks now after like 6 years.  Strange it came up.

My wife was making some cornbread to bring to her mom's house for Mother's Day and liked my idea. Unfortunately she forgot to pick up the bacon. Cornbread with maple syrup (instead of honey) was goddamned tasty, however. Look forward to adding in copious amounts of bacon.

You can always toast the cornbread and put the bacon on top. It'd stay crispier that way anyhows.

I second SPT's recommendation for a Top Chef thread. Schild will also give a nod, I'm sure of it.

Why doesn't one of you just create a thread? When did people start needing permission to create new topics?

haha I started looking around to see if there was already one and got sidetracked by the funny pictures thread.

(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3254/2502768117_3769931f6d.jpg)

Chrysanthemum salad with poached egg and warm bacon vinaigrette (http://voodoolily.blogspot.com/2008/05/chrysanthemum-salad-with-poached-egg.html)
Serves 2 for brunch or a light supper. Don't use an aluminum pan for this or else the vinegar you'll add will react with the pan and make everything taste tinny and "off".

~6 cups chrysanthemum leaves (this was a full typical produce-sized bag, after cleaning - sold in Asian markets as tong hao)
2 eggs
4 slices of bacon, minced
2 tbsp minced shallot
1 tsp lemon zest
1/4 c white wine vinegar
2 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp Dijon or spicy brown mustard
1/2 tsp minced thyme
S&P

Stem and scrupulously wash the greens, pinch off the large stems and shake the leaves out to dry (since I don't have a salad spinner, I invented a technique where I soak them in a sink of cold water, shaking them a bit to knock out the dirt, then strain and rinse again, then place a large bowl over the strainer and shake off the water).

Poach the eggs - simmer in hot water with a splash of vinegar until the whites set up. You don't want the water boiling or you'll end up with wispy whites like egg drop soup. I crack the eggs into a small bowl and then gently dip the bowl into the water and slide them out. Note that the photos clearly show that I overcooked mine ever-so-slightly. You want runny yolks. Mine were more like custard. Hey, nobody's perfect.

Render the bacon bits for a minute over medium-low heat, then add the shallot and lemon zest. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the bacon and shallot are browned and crispy. Add the lemon zest and juice, vinegar, mustard and thyme and whisk until emulsified. Salt and pepper (and more lemon or vinegar) to taste. Yes, you have just made salad dressing with bacon fat. You can thin this with a little olive oil if you want to make it healthier, but if you're eating salad with bacon and eggs on it, I'd say you've already given up.

Plate the leaves and top with poached egg, then dribble the bacon vinaigrette over the top. Add a crack of black pepper to finish. Serve with a crusty bread (we had poppyseed bialy) and prosecco (or leftover Domain Labbé).

You are first in a google search for "Domain Labbé"

http://www.google.com/search?q=Domain+Labb%C3%A9&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a (http://www.google.com/search?q=Domain+Labb%C3%A9&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a)

That means I probably fucked up the spelling.

(checking) Yeah, it's supposed to be Domaine Labbé. Sigh.

Also, I forgot to tell you to turn off the burner when you are whisking the salad dressing. Turn it off! And leave it off!

Sometimes I just gotta be me.

And leave the burner on..


Sometimes I leave the burner on for hours.


This is not a good thing.

VL I demand a vegetable curry recipe better than Mark's from Top Chef.

Just kind of a general thing I can throw whatever I want into.  Also you can't say you've already posted it on your blog.

And while we wait for VL to respond I'll amuse Signe:

50 Helpful Kitchen Tips!

1. For cleaning smelly hands after chopping onions or garlic, just rub them on a stainless steel spoon. The steel is supposed to absorb the odor.

2. Fresh coffee beans can also absorb nasty odors from your hands.

3. If you happen to over-salt a pot of soup, just drop in a peeled potato. The potato will absorb the excess salt.

4. When boiling eggs, add a pinch of salt to keep the shells from cracking.

5. Never put citrus fruits or tomatoes in the fridge. The low temperatures degrade the aroma and flavor of these persnickety fruits.

6. To clean cast iron cookwear, don’t use detergents. Just scrub them with salt and a clean, dry paper towel.

7. Will milk curdle if it is allowed to boil? It turns out that this age-old piece of wisdom isn’t true, after all. Milk that has been boiled is perfectly safe to consume.

8. To clean an electric kettle with calcium buildup on the heating element, boil a mixture of half white vinegar and half water, then empty.

9. When storing empty airtight containers, throw in a pinch of salt to keep them from getting stinky.

10. If you are making gravy and accidentally burn it, just pour it into a clean pan and continue cooking it. Add sugar a little at a time, tasting as you go to avoid over-sugaring it. The sugar will cancel out the burned taste.

11. Burned a pot of rice? Just place a piece of white bread on top of the rice for 5-10 minutes to draw out the burned flavor. Be careful not to scrape the burned pieces off of the bottom of the pan when serving the rice.

12. Before you chop chili peppers, rub a little vegetable oil into your hands and your skin won’t absorb the spicy chili oil.

13. If you aren’t sure how fresh your eggs are, place them in about four inches of water. Eggs that stay on the bottom are fresh. If only one end tips up, the egg is less fresh and should be used soon. If it floats, it’s past the fresh stage.

14. To banish ants from the kitchen, find out where they are coming in and cover the hole with petroleum jelly. Ants won’t trek through the jelly. If they are coming under a door, draw a line on the floor with chalk. The little bugs also won’t cross a line of chalk.

15. Before making popcorn on the stove or in an air popper, soak the kernels in water for 10 minutes. Drain the water, then pop as normal. The additional moisture helps the popcorn pop up quicker and fluffier with fewer “old maids.”

16. Don’t store your bananas in a bunch or in a fruit bowl with other fruits. Separate your bananas and place each in a different location. Bananas release gases which cause fruits (including other bananas) to ripen quickly. Separating them will keep them fresh longer.

17. To keep potatoes from budding in the bag, put an apple in with them.

18. If you manage to have some leftover wine at the end of the evening, freeze it in ice cube trays for easy addition to soups and sauces in the future.

19. To clean crevices and corners in vases and pitchers, fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets. The bubbles will do the scrubbing.

20. After boiling pasta or potatoes, cool the water and use it to water your house plants. The water contains nutrients that your plants will love.

21. When you clean your fish tank, the water you drain can also be used to water your house plants. The nitrogen and phosphorus in fish droppings make aquarium water a great fertilizer.

22. When defrosting meat from the freezer, pour some vinegar over it. Not only does it tenderize the meat; it will also bring down the freezing temperature of the meat and cause it to thaw quicker.

23. The substance in onions that causes your eyes to water is located in the root cluster of the onion. Cut this part out in a cone shape, with the largest part of the cone around the exterior root section.

24. Taking the top layer off of a onion can also reduce the amount of eye-watering misery.

25. Toothpaste is a great silver cleaner.

26. Baking soda isn’t as effective a deodorizer for the fridge as that baking soda company would like you to believe. Activated charcoal is much better at absorbing fridge and freezer odors.

27. Baking soda is an extremely effective cleaner, though. Use it with vinegar to deodorize drains and clean stovetops and sinks.

28. A favorite tip of thousands of grandmas: when you nick your finger while cutting veggies, wait until the bleeding stops and paint on a layer of clear nail polish. It will keep juices out of the wound and won’t fall off into the spaghetti sauce like a bandage.

29. The jury is still out on what to put in the bag of brown sugar to keep it from going hard: a slice of apple, a piece of bread, and a shard of a terra cotta pot have all been used.

30. Got a nasty invisible splinter from your kitchen tools? Put a piece of adhesive tape on the area and then pull it off to remove the splinter.

31. When you burn yourself in the kitchen, just spread mustard on the affected area. Leave it for a while and it will ease the pain and prevent blistering.

32. For aluminum pans that are looking dull, just boil some apple peels in them. This will brighten up the aluminum and make your house smell yummy.

33. To keep cookies fresh, savvy grannies like to put some crumpled-up tissue paper in the bottom of the cookie jar.

34. If your salt is clumping up, put a few grains of rice in with it to absorb excess moisture.

35. To clean fruit stains off of your fingers, rub them with a fresh, peeled potato. White vinegar can also do the trick.

36. Keep iceberg lettuce fresh in the fridge by wrapping it in a clean, dry paper towel and storing lettuce and paper towel in a sealed baggie in the fridge.

37. If your loaf of bread is starting to go stale, just put a piece of fresh celery in the bag and close it back up. For some reason, this restores a fresh taste and texture to the bread.

38. Always keep an aloe vera plant in your kitchen. It’s invaluable when you scrape your arm or burn your finger. Just break off a leaf and rub the gel from the inside on the injury.

39. When making a soup, sauce, or casserole that ends up too fatty or greasy, drop in an ice cube. The ice will attract the fat, which you can then scoop out.

40. To reuse cooking oil without tasting whatever was cooked in the oil previously, cook a 1/4″ piece of ginger in the oil. It will remove any remaining flavors and odors.

41. If your milk always goes bad before you can finish it, try adding a pinch of salt to the carton when you first open it. It will stay fresh days longer.

42. Water that has been boiled and allowed to cool will freeze faster than water from the tap. This comes in handy when you’re having a party and need ice pronto.

43. Remove tea or coffee stains from your fine china by mixing up a paste of baking soda, lemon juice, and cream of tartar. Rub it over the stains and they’ll come off easily.

44. If two drinking glasses become stuck together after stacking, it’s not impossible to unstick them. Just put ice in the inner glass and dunk the outer glass in warm water. The warm glass will expand and the cold glass will contract, making the glasses separate easily.

45. For splinters under the fingernail, soaking the affected finger in a bowl of milk with a piece of bread in it is said to draw out the splinter.

46. Did grandpa ever give you a drink of cola for an upset tummy? It turns out that this is actually a pretty effective remedy. The sugar and carbonation can soothe many tummy problems - but it can also exacerbate others.

47. Putting salty bacon on a boil is said to “draw the poison out” of boils.

48. To help old wooden drawers (without runners) open and close smoothly, rub a candle on the tracks.

49. A cotton ball soaked in white vinegar and applied to a fresh bruise will reduce the darkness of the bruise and help it disappear sooner.

50. Drinking cranberry juice and eating blueberries regularly will help stave off urinary tract infections.

Witchcraft!

Re: curry. It depends on if you want Indian or Thai curry. Which one?

Both!

Although I'd imagine Indian curry would be healthier eats than Thai curry, the latter I assume is made with coconut milk.

I know lots of those.  I have charcoal cans in my fridge and bananas all over the house!   :oh_i_see:

I almost scarred myself for life doing that.

Woke up in the morning, decided I wanted hangover curing ramen, put one of those pots with the copper colored bottom on the electric stove and set that shit to high to get some water boiling.  I wandered off to my room, started fucking w/ my computer, totally forgot about the pot+water+heat combo.  A fucking long time later it dawned on me.  I come into the kitchen, the water has evaporated and the pot smells funny.  I grab it and yank it off the stove...

Fucking molten metal starts pouring everywhere, it misses my leg by about 2 inches and completely melts one of the stove knobs.  I mean just piles of this quicksilver looking stuff.  That copper colored shit had completely melted and when I took it off the heat everything went to hell.  Scary stuff.

I usually prefer northern Indian food, so it's not much healthier. I'll post some curry for you later.

 :ye_gods: :ye_gods: :ye_gods:

I was wearing shorts too, it would have fused to my fucking leg by the looks of everything else it hit...   I'm sure that would have been unpleasant.

And I bet now you watch that shit like a hawk. I screwed up some soup when I was a little kid (like 10) doing the same thing and ever since I keep a keen eye on anything on the stove.

Some people only learn the hard way.

I'd also like to note I'm disappointed it's taking so long for this curry recipe, I hope the length of wait isn't in relation to the posting of pictures or anything else silly.

No, it's cuz I'm at work and don't have time to type up a whole recipe. I hafta make one up for you on the fly, y'know.

Yeah all I hear are excuses.

Look at this bread from Tastespotting, it hasn't even been kneaded properly!

(http://whatdidyoueat.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/05/18/img_4451.jpg)

Okay, I usually just dump curry powder and dhana jeera onto onions and cauliflower while they're sauteeing in butter, then I add salt and pepper, some chilis and a splash of cream. This works for sweet potato too. If you're using regular potato, dump some mustard seed in there too, and top with chopped cilantro. If you wanna do it from scratch, use a mortar and pestle on some cumin, cardamom and coriander seed, add some fenugreek and caraway seed and mash it up with grated turmeric and ginger root. Throw in some curry leaves and whack it good. Stir it into meted butter or stick it in a pot of lentils with carrot, potato and onion. I dunno.

For Thai, use your food processor to blend a bunch of cilantro (including the stems and washed roots), a jalapeño, a coupla cloves garlic and some roasted shallot, an inch each of peeled ginger and lemongrass stem and some lime juice and zest, add a tsp of shrimp paste and some palm sugar, and then a splash of fish sauce.  There. Easy enough? You can put this on eggplant and green beans with a splash of coconut for green curry.

Is the cream really necessary?

I don't know how to make southern Indian food.

Edit: You can make biryani without cream, just add some cashews and raisins. If you're looking for low-cal/fat food, I'd generally steer clear from Indian and Thai. Sorries!

Eh, thanks for trying.

Apparently this is win:

    *  1 tablespoon olive oil
    * 1 onion, chopped
    * 2 cloves crushed garlic
    * 2 1/2 tablespoons curry powder
    * 2 tablespoons tomato paste
    * 1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes
    * 1 cube vegetable bouillon
    * 1 (10 ounce) package frozen mixed vegetables
    * 1 1/2 cups water
    * salt and pepper to taste
    * 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro

DIRECTIONS

   1. In a large saucepan over medium-high, heat oil and saute onion, and garlic until golden. Stir in curry powder and tomato paste, cook 2 to 3 minutes.
   2. Stir in tomatoes, vegetable bouillon cube, mixed vegetables, water, salt and pepper to taste. Cook approximately 30 minutes until vegetables are well done (not crunchy). Sprinkle with fresh cilantro prior to serving.

I IM'd you a link to a similar recipe, but I guess that's not worky?

Also, if you're gonna phone it in with that many ingredients, you may as well just get Tasty Bite.

Oh I'm at work so I'm not on IM and I am not aware of this "Tasty Bite" that you describe.

I mean this one basically contains onions, garlic, curry power, tomato paste, tomatoes, veggie bouillon and vegetables.  I don't even need to have any fish sauce, shrimp paste, ginger, lemongrass, or roasted shallots!

 :awesome_for_real:

Here's a vegetarian Indian curry I made last week that was really nice. The sauce seems pretty versatile; we put it over cauliflower, sauteed beet greens, and zucchini. It uses milk instead of cream.

http://www.syvum.com/cgi/online/serve.cgi/recipes/srcpv12.tdf?0

Tasty Bite! (http://www.tastybite.com/) They have it at Trader Joe's (and many other regular grocery stores). Boil in a bag or microwave! Most are <300 cals/serving (a 10 oz. bag is two servings).

You said you wanted Thai curry too. Thai curry is extremely easy to make if you have an Asian grocery store near you. All you need is a good Thai curry paste, coconut milk, fish sauce, and possibly some chicken stock. Also coconut milk is good for you.

http://www.thaifoodandtravel.com/brands.html

That's the one thing we don't have down here, a Trader Joe's. I hear they are great stores.

(http://bp1.blogger.com/_uVSUPK950uU/SDI6VbfUO2I/AAAAAAAAApM/WUIXonhC7kA/s400/DSCN2836.jpg)

Shrimp roll with fresh-baked pain au levain, homemade mayo with fresh tarragon, thyme, fennel and parsley flowers; and home-grown baby heirloom lettuce and arugula

Respect the sandwich!

Do you have a recipe for a good mayo? Something maybe flavoured will dill or chive?

How the hell is coconut milk good for you? It's like 90% fat.

Yeah, it's one of the only plant forms of saturated fat, too, iirc.

Its fine.  Just don't drink like a liter of it.

Do you have Joy of Cooking? I just followed their directions for mayonnaise, then added finely, finely chopped herbs of my choosing (fennel, tarragon, thyme and parsley).

If you don't have it, it's basically 2 beaten egg yolks whipped with a slow, thin stream of oil until completely emulsified and aerated. You can do this by hand if you're a showoff or just use an electric beater or immersion blender. Then stir in a squirt of vinegar, a couple pinches of salt and a little spoon of Dijon mustard. Then add dill or chive.

I have some of my herb mayo left and was thinking of adding it to some soba with crab and maitake mushrooms. I bet it'd be great on some truffled French fries too. Oh goawwwawaood. :uhrr:

Actually no I don't, I just wing my recipes. It's how I come up with some really great dishes.  But tonight, I think I am going to try making the mayo because the one you described actually sounds lovely.

Did I mention I'm on my way to your home for dinner?

I'll bring the wine.

(http://bp3.blogger.com/_uVSUPK950uU/SDo-axzkBGI/AAAAAAAAArQ/mdx3fBASdug/s400/DSCN3061.JPG)

Cherry galettes with black pepper-Kirschwasser glaze
This would probably be great with Rainier cherries or even plums. I'm totally making them with plums in a few months. Makes 4 galettes.

Prepare the pastry dough:
1.5 c AP flour
2 pinches salt
3 tbsp sugar
8 tbsp (one stick) cold butter
~like 5 or 6 tbsp ice water

Whisk together the dry ingredients. In a food processor (or with a pastry cutter) cut the butter into the flour mixture until it resembles coarse meal with pea-sized nubs of butter. Sprinkle in the ice water and stir together (or pulse a couple times) until the dough starts to come together. Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and mush the dough together into a ball. Quarter the dough and wrap each in plastic wrap. Fridge for an hour or freezer for 20-30 minutes until the dough resembles modeling clay in texture.

Prepare the fruit:
2 oz. (an airline bottle) Kirschwasser
2 tbsp blood orange juice (or 1 tsp lemon juice)
2 tbsp Bokbunjajoo (or other cloying red booze - I guess sloe gin would work), or omit
2 tbsp sugar

Simmer down to a syrup (thick enough to be brushed without making pastry soggy).

~6 c bing cherries, pitted and halved (this was like 8 handfuls)
1/2 tsp fresh-ground black pepper
1 tbsp sugar
pinch Chinese 5 spice

Toss fruit together with other ingredients.

Pull the dough out of the chiller and turn out onto a lightly floured surface. Roll out as thin as is praticable - you should get each ball to about 10" in diameter. Arrange the cherries fastidiously all concave-up as pictured (you think I'm just being fussy, but this will be crucial for pooling the juice and glaze). Brush the glaze over the fruit and give each galette another crack of pepper. Fold over the edges of the dough rustically (if you want perfection then you'd be making a tarte and not a galette). Brush the dough with some milk or cream and sprinkle a pinch of sugar over the top.

Bake for 10 minutes, then brush more glaze over the fruit. Another ten minutes, and brush some glaze. Then bake another 5-10 more minutes or until the pastry is golden brown. Brush once more and cool on a rack. Serve warm with black walnut ice cream, thundershowers and Nude (http://threepints.net/mp3/03%20-%20Radiohead%20-%20Nude.MP3).

bump

I might have to try that with the cherries from our box this week. I have some kirschwasser I've been wanting to use up.

They're really easy. Once you get the cherries pitted you're looking at maybe 20 minutes of active time in the kitchen.

This is a technique I use all the time. Supermarkets always put out bananas that are not ripened and all green. I like bananas with no green color or taste at all, so I also buy one of the old dinged up bananas and lay it over the new ones (assuming I don't have old bananas at home). Instead of waiting days for my bananas to ripen, they usually ripen to edibility overnight. Just ditch the old banana before they ripen too much.

You can also use the ethylene gas emitted by ripe bananas to get your orchids to bloom.

Also if you peel bananas from the bottom you don't get strings.  They last longer if you wrap them in a towel and put them in the cupboard.  My aunt used to use bananas to make a face mask to make her freckles go away, too.  Smoking bananas is silly and doesn't make you stoned.

I read the post. I read the part about smoking bananas and being stoned. Then I looked at the poster and saw Signe. For some reason I laughed for quite a while. I may have had too much beer tonight.

I love cherries but I am slightly allergic to them. My immune system is a communist.

I wonder if grapes would be as delicious, or even perhaps raspberries.

Frozen grapes are wicked. I never had them and my fiancee had popped some in the freezer and I tasted win. Great summer snack.

I do the same with cherries. Food of the gods really.

I like to put chunks of pinapple in the freezer and then top them with some lite cool whip for a lighter dessert than ice cream.

I love roasted grapes. I make a warm chutney with them to go with pork chops.

This sounds like pure awesome as I love pineapple.  I'm so doing this tomorrow.

If I wasn't rolling sushi tonight I would so be doing this.

Tastespotting is back up!

Someone talk about food  :awesome_for_real:

I don't usually make many lamb meals in hot weather but I think I'm going to try THIS  (http://thursdaynightsmackdown.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/charred-lamb-plated-1.jpg)(or some variation) for the weekend:

(http://thursdaynightsmackdown.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/charred-lamb-plated-1.jpg)

It looks summery and has Righ's favourite meat.  I like an all in one dinner.  Of course, it all depends on if I can get a nice bit of lamb loin.  It's not always easy. 

Do you take the pits out and the stems off first?

Righ, can I borrow her for a week if the lamb course comes out alright? My GF plays AoC and Half Life, so its an even trade I figure.

Ooops.  I messed up my THIS (http://thursdaynightsmackdown.com/2008/06/19/charred-lamb-salad/)!  Anyway, I'm not a great cook and this meal looks very simple.  I bet you could even make it, Engels! The lamb is just grilled in a very very hot pan with salt and pepper.  The dressing for the julienne veggies seems simple enough, too.  However, Nevermore now has me obsessing on swordfish! 

The lamb dish is really pretty though, isn't it?  Geez, did anyone besides me and Ookii look at those gorgeous danish on Tastespotting?   :eat:  I bet Ookii can even make them, too!

Oh I just had the best BBQ I've had in awhile!  From one of the two best places in Phoenix!  Turns out it's only 5 minutes from where I work  :drill: :drill: :drill:

What place?

Stacy's Smokehouse

 
True, but eating Nutmeg will seriously mess you up...

I finally got around to bringing some more kitchen stuff over to the new house, so we ate a meal with actual veggies last night. Marinated some chicken in salad dressing we used on the salad and then grilled it up, sliced it and had a baby greens salad with a few assorted veggies. My fiancee is a heathen and doesn't like grilled peppers and onions, I've been living off brats with grilled veg when she's not around.

I feel there should be a petition to stop the cultivation of iceberg lettuce. Always so disappointing when we get a salad in a restaurant and it's loaded with big white iceberg ribs. Bleh.

Iceberg lettuce is a blight upon the culinary world.

Aw, c'mon! A wedge of iceberg with blue cheese dressing is the classic side to a plate of prime rib. It's classic! And it's high in folic acid just like any other lettuce. It's so crispy and sweet! Don't knock iceberg.

Ok, there are some applications. It's really good shredded due to the crispiness, too.

It's great on tacos and, although useless in any nutritional respect, a wedge of iceberg with tangy-sweet French dressing is wonderful. 

It's good on tacos and burgers (except when the fast food places stick a 2 inch thick main rib of it on your burger), but for salad I'd rather go right to baby spinach.

I prefer field greens for a salad. I like arugula.

Yeah, baby greens are where it's at for salad. Shaved chayote squash and kohlrabi are some things I've been playing with lately, too - they take wonderfully to Asian and Latin flavors.

Mmmm delicious weed salads  :grin:

Back when I was a grower, one of the strains we had was an extremely pungent indica. I would chop leaves into a garlic and butter sauce to serve with pasta, it was amazing. No buzz potential in it, really, just flavor. I miss cross-breeding and tracking traits over generations, lots of fun :(

I love all sorts of bitter greens, cooked and raw. 

A buddy of mine made these at my last cookout over left over coals after grilling of the main dish was completed and they were a big hit:

Ingredients:

dozen large fresh jalapenos
1 block cream cheese
2 Tbs honey
1 package very thin breakfast bacon ( US style )
onion powder
garlic powder
Black pepper

Soften a block of cream cheese on the counter.  Add 2 Tbs honey, 1 tsp onion powder, 1/4 tsp garlic powder, and black pepper to taste.  Stir and let rest for 30 min.
Prep 12 jalapenos by cutting an isosceles triangle from the pepper with the short side along the stem end and running 80% of the way to the tip.  Retain the removed triangle of pepper.  Remove all seeds and membranes ( a small spoon works well ).  Fill the resulting pockets w/ the cheese mixture and and replace the triangle of pepper.  Wrap the entire pepper in a whole slice of the bacon and secure with a toothpick or skewer 3 or 4 peppers on a bamboo skewer.

Grill these slowly over indirect coals until bacon is crispy all over and the pepper has softened.  Took about 20 minutes.  Let them rest 5-10 minutes so you don't lava the inside of your mouth with the cheese.

I burned the shit out of my lip on a cheddar brat* a couple days ago. Luckily, I burn myself on things all the time, rapid application of frozen objects stopped any swelling and the blister was minimal and already gone. Didn't hurt at all. Yay damage avoidence (I must've saved vs lava)

* edit:

This:

(http://www.wernerswurst.com/images/DSCF1710_220px.jpg)

Not this:

(http://a595.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/38/l_b226d4b50d9d5b95d71cb3ae10449cd2.jpg)

Hehe.  Sky is funneh!

For VDL:

I go through periods of not eating red meat, sometimes no meat at all, just fruit, veg, pasta, fish, etc., too.  Especially in the summer.  I can go long periods without eating any sort of red meat at all and I've noticed that beef bothers my tummy more in the US than in the UK.  I must be used to that mad cow.  I usually pick up Wegman's salmon burgers, which are nice, but I'll try it with the panko (which I can also get from Wegmans). 

Summer is good here.  We're very close to Lancaster PA and those A-Mish people, so all the local farms have opened their roadside stands. 

I LOVE CORN SEASON MORE THAN CHRISTMAS!  (especially Silver Queen)

Corn season is what going outdoors is made of! I think next time I'll grill it, but I like the old-fashioned gramma way.  :awesome_for_real:

Here's another question for you homecooks out there.

I want to start trying to cook with beer, but I'm not sure of the best type of recipes to do that with outside of stews. Any other suggestions? Sauces? Batters? Just drinking it and drunkenly throwing items in a pan?

I like to make reductions of it, but I've had the most success doing this with ciders.

Beer is great for tempura batter, perfect for braising sausages/onions/apples/cabbage/pork chops (I know, German is so sur le nez, but it's done for a reason). It's also excellent in cheddar soup. I simmer ground beef in lager mixed with some tomato paste as the base for amazing sloppy joes.

Every now and then I wash my hair with flat beer. 

Pancakes. It's amazing how light and fluffy a little beer makes them.

Really?

Yeah, we used to have them in high school. My FFA chapter would have a big pancake breakfast at a pumpkin farm. A bunch of the dads would drag in this 20 foot trailer kitchen thing, and mix vats of pancake batter made up of little more than Coors and Bisquick. I've never had a fluffier pancake; they were really quite remarkable.

Awesome. Doing a search I found someone from my hometown with a recipe.
http://meloni-courtway.petaluma360.com/default.asp?item=524149

There are a bajillion beer pancake recipes.  It seems that nearly every one of them don't use milk at all, just beer, though sometimes flat beer. I might try them since I try and avoid dairy, mostly milk products, whenever I can. 

(http://www.shootonline.com/go/media/articles/WhiteGoldAxe_147e963d0e5c4b.jpg)
WHY DON'T YOU LIKE THE MILKY RIVER?!

Too much milk gives me tummy aches.  I also have a contact allergy to chocolate with high cocoa content.  No ice cream sundaes for me!  (http://www.realitybbqforums.com/images/smilies/1cry.gif)

There's always the classic beer can chicken. I actually have a frame specifically made to hold the chicken upright on the grill.

If you marinate yourself in enough beer, you won't give a shit how the chicken turns out. Pro tip.

That probably explains why I think I'm such a good grill cook.

Not really a recipe but I figure I'll ask here. I've got a cast iron pot with a ceramic coating, someone else was using it and left it on the hob with nothing in it for too long and now a couple of patches of the ceramic coating have cracked off. I've been applying a very light coating of oil to the patches to stop them rusting but was wondering if anyone here knew of a possible more permanent solution that would be cheaper than buying a new pot or maybe just some general care instructions for it. I'm guessing now that some it's chipped off the rest of the coating is going to slowly come off but I can't really afford to replace it with anything decent so  :?

I love those enameled iron pans. Lovelove. But I did that, too, with my first one. Cooked the shit out of the finish, cracked, scratched while cleaning, etc.

I threw it out and bought a new one for $40 at walmart. http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5716477 Not as nice as my original Lodge, but it's what they had in stock.

If it's a Le Creuset they might have a warranty or something, like a lifetime guarantee. Regardless, they might know what to do to fix it.

Slightly cheaper version but still good quality, thanks for reminding me about the warranty I'll dig up the receipt and see if there's any chance of getting it repaired/replaced. If not I guess I'll try and keep it lightly oiled so long as the ceramic doesn't start chipping off into my food or anything. Walmart's out as I don't think it would work out that cheap after factoring in flights to and from the States  :awesome_for_real:

Wouldn't ASDA have all the same crap as Walmart, only Brit-ier?

I've not been to an Asda in a while but I'm strongly under the impression they're just a supermarket. They sell cheap food but they're not like a Wal-Mart or Tesco.

I'm pretty sure they opened up ASDA/Walmart super stores after Walmart bought them.  I've never been in one so I don't know exactly what they sell but I know it's not limited to groceries.  I read there was a HUGE one in Liverpool, I think, not that I suggest anyone go to Liverpool.

One day I went to ASDA. I went to shoplift at ASDA. I got caught in ASDA, now I don't go back to ASDA! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4kBcm-ls8Y)

I love tastespotting.com

http://bakedperfection.blogspot.com/2008/06/cake-balls.html

I go there once every week or so and missed it when it was gone.  I find a lot of quick recipes there.

GF is out of town so I am going to town!

Extremely large russet potato lightly coated with oil, kosher salt and garlic powder is baking in the oven at 350.  In 30 minutes a whole ear of corn, wrapped in it's husk will join it for another 30 minutes at 350.

Once those come out I'll sear a 20 oz, dry aged, NY Strip, lightly coated with oil, salt and pepper in a preheated cast iron pan on both sides and then broil for 2-2.5 minutes a side (while still in the cast iron pan, whole thing goes under the broiler).

The potato is going to get topped with butter, salt and pepper, sour cream, fresh chives and paprika while the ear of corn will just get butter, salt and pepper and paprika.

For accompaniment I have broken out a nice 2003 Chianti Classico Toscana IGT that is currently taking the air.

I doubt if I will be able to get up for work on time in the morning, but I guess that's a price I am willing to pay...

Edit:  A little more on the wine because I was quite surprised by it.  2003 Ruffino Il Ducale.  I grabbed it on sale at Shaw's for $14.99, strong nose, quite a bit of the bottle in it so air it out a bit.  A strong musky odor with a very heavy overlay of vanilla and cracked pepper.  The color was a really dark ruby with a clear and very well defined meniscus line, the taste was smooth and heady, again vanilla and black pepper and a bit of blackberry with still quite a bit of tannin so it may be even better over the next year or two.  A very good 15 dollar bottle, highly recommended.

Why do you get so happy when she leaves? 

She's very careful about what I eat because her father has very bad health.  I don't really mind but, c'mon, I gotta live every now and then.

Well, you enjoy yourself, then!  I think it's very sweet that she worries about you, though.  Don't forget to empty the garbage so you don't get caught. 

Eating supper last night, my fiancee asked me what I had for lunch. I told her supper was my first meal. I sometimes forget to eat when I'm working on stuff. I then relented, saying I had a few bananas, some tortilla chips with salsa, and some mixed nuts for protein throughout the day as I worked. She said...that's eating :) Then she mumbled some comment about if it's not cooked on the grill it's not a meal or something  :oh_i_see:

We had grilled pork loins marinated in some DinoBBQ garlic sauce with some corn and red pepper with southwesty spices. Went together great.

Who helped you eat those five servings of beef?  :ye_gods:

Heathen! That's one serving, the way god intended.

Though you should bake it low and then finish in the scorching hot pan imo.

While you were doing that, I was sipping something from a more recent vintage. It had notes of caramel and vanilla with a slightly oaky aftertaste. It had a dark brown hew that shone a slight red when light hit it at the right angle. Sometimes almost orangish. I imagine it probably wouldn't be very good a year from now since the bottle had already been tapped. But hey, it only cost $1.15. And came with free refills.

It was Diet Coke.

In the good old days, we used to all pile in the car and cross the border to Blaine WA. Was a dive called Vista Pizza that served a 16oz Steak for $6.00 and a pitcher of beer for $5.00.

There is a man rule that applies to Murgos' situation: A chunk of meat equals a serving, regardless of size.

I ended up with about 1/3rd of it left over, I'm 220 and active, even so 1 & 1/4 pounds of steak, with trimmings, was too much.  God, it was a pretty cut of beef though, 2" thick, perfectly marbled, the anticipation of eating it was almost as good as the meal itself.

I put the cast iron frying pan under the broiler until the oven reached 500 degrees, then put the pan on high heat while I seared the steak.  2.5 minutes on a side once it went back under the broiler, it had a perfect golden brown crust with a just this side of blood red center.  It's no Ruth's Chris 1800 degree sear but it was about as good as I can get at home.

I've tried a lot of different ways of cooking a steak and so far this one is my favorite, yes even above grilling over a hickory wood fire.

I usually just sear both sides in hot grill pan, finish in 350 oven for 10 minutes (to warm the interior), pink and juicy interior. Such as:

(http://bp3.blogger.com/_uVSUPK950uU/SHmYHW-HZAI/AAAAAAAAA6c/-0l0gcDx_-U/s400/DSCN3733.jpg)

That is how all steaks should look.  it makes me cry whenever guests ask for me to cook one medium or worse.  i mean come on!   :uhrr:

Just tell them to get out.

Yes, that's a properly cooked steak.

I'm surprised the 350º oven didn't overcook the outer layers while cooking the inner layers. It always did for me, I'd end up with a band of grey or else the middle would be undercooked. I tried the Cook's Illustrated version and it came out perfect, like VL's. Many ways to skin a cat, so whatever works! Here's the one I've used to great success, for the spectators in the thread:
VL's certainly sounds easier and faster, I'll have to do more experimenting! :eat:

Murgos cooked his steak the Alton Brown way (http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_99_,00.html), which does come out quite nice.

I'll stick with a thin layer of charcoal, then chunks of hickory in the weber grill on the front porch. Nothing beats the smoky goodness of the outside with the still cold inside.

Plus, the smoke tends to drift over into the neighbors house. It's my way of paying them back for the mariachi music.

New grill idea:

(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/fail-owned-bbq-fail.jpg?w=500&h=383)

Even has a cooling rack up top!

Why is that fail?  Necessity is the mother of invention.  That's actually pretty clever.


Edit: I speel gud.

Until you burn your armpits trying to reach in and get that fryingpan.

So turn it upside down.  I can see myself doing that if I'm stuck on the side of the road waiting for a tow, and having nothing but a lighter and a container of jiffy pop.  It's a brilliant idea.

Should've removed the plastic, too. Otherwise, it isn't a horrible idea. I remember being at that level of primitive invention, about fifteen years ago.

Too bad you wouldn't be able to use it straight as a grill - the galvanization is not tasty and maybe a little poisonous.

What do they galvanize shopping carts with?

I never thought about it before, but there is so much I don't know about shopping carts!

Just wrap all the food up in aluminum foil.  It'll be fine!

Almost all steel mesh that is going to spend time outdoors, like that used in carts, is zinc galvanized.  At least in the Pacific NW.

It makes it tricky to find good materials to build a large grill for a 100lb pig.

I was wondering why she knew so much about the properties of shopping carts vis-a-vis taste.

What did you end up using?  A segment of wrought iron fencing with the paint sanded off?  Though I guess you could have just sandblasted the shopping cart...

Or dug a hole in the ground.  Or used a strong spit.

We wired together steel rebar (for the frame) and steel mesh (the kind used for framing concrete pouring), reinforced with hardwire cloth. We wired both sides with hose clamps. It looked like a medieval torture device.

(http://bp0.blogger.com/_uVSUPK950uU/SF6i-WLbQ9I/AAAAAAAAAzI/xciYW_33w9s/s400/DSCN3534.JPG)(http://bp0.blogger.com/_uVSUPK950uU/SF6n8L8cbAI/AAAAAAAAA0Y/ixVRXoAE91k/s400/DSCN3536.JPG)

What's something exciting I can do with a bunch of veggies (carrots, green peppers, peas, etc.) that is not one of the following:

1) Curry
2) Stir-Fry
3) Soup
4) Grilling
5) Nothing

Give them to homeless people.

Eat them.

Chili (yes, vegi chili is awesome!), pot pie, kabobs (sans peas), stew,or a roast?

Not bad, but I want more ideas!   :drill:

Chili was what I was going to post, but Soup covered it I thought. Use it for a crazy lasagna or pasta salad.

Potato salad!  :oh_i_see:

I see what you did there.

I'm a little late to the party here, but I'm pretty sure that one of the meat cutters I used to work with did whole pigs every year and found screens (much like the mesh) that are specially for roasting pigs. Not sure where he found them.

Nice setup there, VDL.


Oh, and if you're looking to do a whole pig, go watch last season's Top Chef (I think with four people left) while they are doing the whole pig. One of the female chefs butchers a pig perfectly, and it's a great example of how to do it correctly.

Also, the other three chefs do it completely wrong. You should be able to completely butcher a pig with a 12", 10", and 6" knife. The whole cleaver bit is ridiculous.

Veggie Kabobs sound like a winner to me. Are you completely against eating meat, or are you just trying to empty a fridge?



Edit: Risotto?

Primavera sauce.

Carrots and peas would make a nice addition to a white pasta sauce.

I have a lot of veggies and just wanted to figure out some other ways to cook 'em up without a whole lot of effort.  Right now I make them into curry, but I wanted to explore other options.

Taking any and all suggestions on what to do with fresh caught trout while camping.  So keep it short simple and sweet and not requiring 45 ingredients.

Thx.

Grilled with salt and pepper, with a twist of lemon.  Why ruin something that fresh with anything else!   :awesome_for_real:

Pan fried with Seasoned Salt. Douse the skin with it liberaly, and sprink a little inside it.

Evildrider is correct.

I can't help you on the peas & carrots, but you can make some pretty sweet fajitas with green peppers, squash and zuchinni.  Slice in strips and cook with some olive oil, chili powder, garlic powder and a pinch of cumin, wrap in tortilla with sour cream and salsa.  Add meat (chicken or beef) strips too if that's your thing.

Ok this is win.  Totally forgot about Fajitas.

How can you live in AZ and totally forget about fajitas?

I'd make a strata - thinly slice or mandoline veggies, layer them in a baking dish (sprinkling parm, chopped herbs and S&P between each layer), and then bake until browned and bubbly. You can also add a spoonful of bechamel between each layer to make it a gratin. Either are great with pasta.

VL's stratagratin needs more bacon and cheese variety. Then again, what doesn't? And some chicken. And cherry peppers.

I'm just lusting after taste after a bland lunch.

Is it cool to post other people's recipes in this thread? I ask because I've just this week found a breakfast recipe that works for me. I've been struggling with breakfasts for years because I need something healthier than croissants/bacon/eggs/sausages/fried stuff but cereal just doesn't do it for me.

For about 2 years now I've been having a huge bowl of fruit and yoghurt, which is nice and all but to get me through to lunchtime I have to eat a LOT of it. I mean enough of a LOT so that when Zebedee (yoghurt-seeking feline missile) comes to lick the yoghurt out of the bowl when I'm done she has to put both her front paws right into the bowl to reach the middle.

So anyway, got a Gordon Ramsey cookbook recently and he's got something he calls "Bircher muesli" in it which goes:

Put 200g of rolled oats in a bowl and add ~400ml semi-skimmed milk, leave in the fridge overnight. Stir in a grated apple and 150ml plain natural yoghurt. Add some fresh berries (blueberries and/or strawberries work really well for me, or whatever's on special offer in the supermarket), a few broken up walnuts and a teaspoon of runny honey if you like.

It's great, it's got all the fresh, fruity tastes I like but the oats give it a bit more oomph to get me through the morning. You do have to overcome the initial "wtf, it's cold porridge" thing though :p

Oats and blueberries will keep you alive for thousands of years. 

Easily one of my favorite breakfasts.

Muesili oats w/ stuff it in + fage 0% yogurt + some honey + blueberries + raspberries

It does take a big bowl, but it's so delicious.

Thousands?! Can they overcome three decades of sitting on my arse getting a monitor tan?

\o/

Possibly.  Look at Davros.  I think he is made up entirely of steel oats and blueberries.

I eat a bowl of kashi golean crunch with fage or plain fat-free yogurt and sliced banana or peach. it is the brekkie of champs.


mmmmm......champs. it got cold and rainy, and some cheesy, garlicky mashed taters sound just about right.

I don't even know what that is! It does sound like something Davros would have done to someone though.

That's what my fiancee eats, her mother was a nutritionist/school nurse. She's really helped me learn how to balance meals and recipes.

I eat the maple shredded wheats. MAPLE!  :drill: With extra maple syrup.

Granola bar and a diet soda.  I can provide the recipe if needed.

Is it really maple syrup, or is it high fructose corn syrup, or corn syrup?

I have gotten almost obsessed with looking at labels for that crap, and if found, putting it back on the shelf.

You gotta get the 100% Pure maple syrup. If you're paying less than $5 for a tiny bottle, be suspicious.

So, I invented a new thing that is amazing and delicious, and can actually be diet-friendly (if you use a low-fat milk instead of cream or half & half): roasted tomato bechamel!

Halve about a pound of not-too-watery tomatoes (or quarter them if they're large ones; I use heirloom grape tomatoes). Arrange in a baking dish and drizzle with a little olive oil and a crunch of kosher or sea salt. Roast at 400F for an hour. Deglaze the baking dish with some budget white wine, some stock, or a splash of milk and scrape off all the lovely browned bits.

Prepare a classic bechamel by making a roux (flour and butter, stir-saute until golden and fragrant) and whisk in milk or cream until creamy. Simmer and whisk, adding more milk as necessary to prevent it from turning to library paste. Add the tomatoes/liquid, stirring, and S&P to taste. A bit of nutmeg is also good.

This sauce made wonderful mac n chee, and I'm going to try it in a pot pie as well.

Wait, don't you mean natural  high fructose corn syrup?  :drill:



That sauce sounds really nice, I'll have to try that. And can someone explain to me (as a Brit) what kosher salt is? I know what kosher means but I've got a couple of American cook books that refer to it and they're clearly not saying to use kosher salt because they're Jewish or anything, so what's the diff? is it just big crunchy flakes like sea salt should be?

Yah know, i found that when spell checking, ...i'm now scared for humanity.

Definitely 100% maple syrup!

Had pork tenderloins + dry rub and some corn on the grill last night. Fast, easy, splendid.

I've been wanting to give your garden mac a go, Voodoo, but béchamel just a wee bit too dairy for me.  I can't handle all the milk these days.  I suppose it would still be okay using low fat milk or even non-dairy?  I've heard of vegans using almond milk but I've never tried it.  I've alwyas made full fat sauces in the past.  I already have some lovely little tasty tomatoes.  Also, congrats on your Arte y Pico award! 

Shucks, thanks.  :oh_i_see:

I always used skim milk for my bechamels, as they have almost always functioned as "dieter's alfredo" for me. This time I had some half & half in the fridge and used it, but even then I usually water half & half down with, uh, water. I don't think I'd use almond milk, but that's just because I hate vegans.


Kosher salt is just a coarse, uniodized salt (it's only called kosher salt in North America, in the UK it's called "koshering salt"). I use it because it's nice to keep in a little ramekin by the stove, I can just grab a pinch of it and the coarser grains seems to melt on the tongue more nicely. It's called kosher because it's used to make meats kosher (hence, "koshering" salt is more appropriate). But shit, friend, if you can get a box of Maldon for the price of a box of Morton's kosh, use it!

Nice one, thanks for the clarification. Maldon's is exactly what we have a jar of right next to the assorted peppercorns and mortar'n'pestle :p

Hi! I thought I'd post in here because you people at least sound like you know what you're talking about.

I am an absolute cooking newb. I thought it might be fun to at least learn how to cook a few things from a cookbook, nothing too terribly fancy.

How does one even go about starting to do this? My mom got me for christmas last year some America's Test Kitchen cookbook, which looks fairly straightforward.

Is it all pretty much trial and error?

It is for me.  The way I've learned to cook is by looking at recipes of others and adapting their core to new things.  With time, I've found taste profiles that I like and I try to adapt them to new situations.  I'm sure a cullinary expert would cringe at this though.   

The ATK book is probably a good start. Like my first cookbook, an ancient good housekeeping one, it has a lot of sidebars on prepping stuff. Once you get a feel for how to prep food, the main thing is judging doneness. It's all trial and error, but there is a lot you can do to make less error. Just try to learn from your mistakes, don't get discouraged by them.

I'm at the point where most of my mistakes are only known to me. If I don't point it out, people will just happily nom away. Last year I had three blunders I wouldn't let people eat. All were due to trying to make substitutions on the fly. One was a wine sauce that just came out so bad I couldn't save it, that's a real rarity, not sure how I even messed it up so bad :) (result: I took the fiancee out for dinner) Another was thanks to a spice rack I got for xmas, there was waaaay too much salt in one marinade mix and it fucking destroyed a pound of shrimp (luckily shrimp thaws and cooks fast, I just kept the sauce heated for a bit while I made more shrimp). The last one I actually did serve, it was an alfredo that didn't set properly and separated. Looked nasty and I was all bummed out, but the folks eating it (of course it had to be for a bunch of people) thought it was amazing. If I hadn't called it alfredo, they wouldn't have known.

I also watched a lot of cooking shows stoned out of my mind in the early nineties. Pasquale ftw!

I should probably upgrade my cable internet to actual cable TV, and just leave the cooking channel on in the background while i dinggratz, so maybe I'll subconsciously absorb things.

Just the opposite! This is how chefs cook (it's how I cook, anyway), and how new dishes and cuisines are discovered. Keep on wit' yo' bad self!

I think one good cookbook that everyone should own is the Joy of Cooking. It has great encyclopedic sections for if you want to learn all about the different cuts of meat, types of American fruit desserts, different spices, etc. It's great. And the recipes from your gramma's edition have been updated to the modern pantry (sadly, this often means less lard). It is written from Americans but has handy conversion charts if you wanna go metric with the recipes.


Heh, I was going with the Frugal Gourmet and Great Chefs of the World, but yeah, we're on the same page.

Right on - all good tips!

I think I need to pick something really, really simple from the ATK cookbook, and just work my way up from there. On a gradient, y'know?

Thanks, VL! One nice thing about working in the library:  I somehow missed Joy of Cooking, so I call it up in the catalog, we've got three copies on the shelf, I grabbed the newest one. Now I'm thinking I should go see how old the oldest one is :) And I studiously ignored the hundred interesting food books there. I need more time in the day!

I'm also an experimenter. Was it Graham Kerr who called recipes "springboards"? I forget who coined the term, but it has always stuck with me. I like to cook pretty close to recipes at times, to learn the way things are 'supposed' to be done, but once I have the basic idea down, I like to sub in my favorite ingredients, or more often, the stuff that's lurking in the fridge.

Starting simple is a very good idea, I've been cooking for years and don't really make anything complex. There are so many good simple things, why bother? :) Look through the book for something like mac and cheese or burgers. Once you've upgraded your basic recipes, it's easier to get more adventurous and you'll know your stove and oven better.

(I should post a pic of the shitty stove I have to deal with right now...I'm in a world of shit...thank odin for my grill)

If you ever watch "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares", Gordon preaches this to struggling restaraunt owners.  The best food is simply made from quality ingredients.  Don't get overly complex in the number of components... in cooking, less is more. 

Sadly, the homeowners association fines me $50 dollars if I grill on my patio. The grill itself is sitting under a tarp and is little more then an ashtray holder.

Fuck owning a condominium.

How much will they charge you to burn the whole place down?

Clearly the solution is to grill in the parking lot. Or maybe on the sidewalk, any place they don't have a rule yet. You can probably keep the association busy for years writing up new anti-grilling rules.

No idea, I am a safety-conscious griller! I dunno, though - I think they'd get suspicious if I started wheeling around my grill all over the place (that sounds like a line from a rap song).

Bolt some handlebars to it and tell them it's a bicycle.  That should fix em.