f13.net

f

goddammit

?

https://diabloimmortal.com/en-us/

Diablo red shirt guy.

https://clips.twitch.tv/PunchyImpossibleCoyoteYouWHY

F

D2R would have been ideal. D4 would have been fine. This.... :uhrr: :ye_gods: :uhrr: :oh_i_see:

F

Jesus Fucking Christ on a rocket skate.  Who the fuck thinks a goddamn fucking mobile game is at all what people fucking want.

I mean, I was not holding out a whole lot of hope, but I was ready to be intrigued by a D2 remake or D4.

F

Fuck sakes, this looks like nothing more than a reskin of Netease's Crusaders of Light.

F this hot garbage.

Almost 100% certain that is exactly what it is.

Not surprised in the least; there's too much money in mobile games for this not to happen.

Game will likely be shit, but they won't care.

Unfortunately, yes. Everybody is hating on this (me included) and yet it'll bring them so much money which is pretty much all they have to care for. Sigh.

So the mobile games market basically is following spammer logic now? Doesn't matter how shitty it is if it is cheap enough to produce and distribute -- even if .001 percent buy it it's made money.

Now? That has been the mobile gaming industry's MO for at least 5 years.

I realize this means exactly jack shit, but the YT trailer sitting at 9k likes and 290k dislikes has to mean something to the D teams, right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtSmAwpVHsA

Looks like everyone here is a misogynistic asshole for not liking Diablo going mobile. :oh_i_see:  And also racist.  One of us.

F

Edit:  ROFL look at all the "games journalists" coming out of the woodwork to suck Blizzard's cock.  Knew that would happen.  Can't risk being denied that exclusive interview or alpha preview.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Blizzard/comments/9tspjk/if_you_dont_like_diablo_immortal_youre_apparently/

sigh

i'm on some of their mailing lists, excuse me

You know something left the realm of Social Justice, of which I proudly consider myself a member, and fell head first into the pit of infinite idiocy when not even I want to defend it.

I CANNOT see these people's point. This seems stupid beyond recognition.

That was some cringey stuff, on the plus side fucking Keaunu Reeves nailed it  :drill:

https://medium.com/@schild_23338/diablo-immortal-or-how-to-read-a-room-eb2484934c34

I decided to go this route instead.

Thanks for that. It felt good.

Huh. TIL that I didn't much care for mobile games because I'm a toxic male who noticed that women liked to play on their phones.

And I thought it was because, not that long ago when I started to get into mobile games a couple of single player games I was invested in got screwed by some trademark sell off and disappeared off my phone/tablet.

Also, when I'm not at home I'm really busy with no time to play on a phone, and when I'm at home I have access to consoles/PCs. But really having it drilled into me that I couldn't guarantee even a relatively new single player game would last long enough for me to get tired of soured me on the whole platform.

Not that any of that has anything to do with Diablo.

Carry on.

"Do you guys not have phones?"

... amazing they thought this would be warmly received at Blizzcon, and then double down on screwing up.

(good article too)

I do like the repeated weird defense of "Blizzard/Activision owns Diablo, so they can do whatever they want with it".

Of course they can. And the owner of my local golf course can cover the fairways knee deep in dog shit if he wants. He owns the place.

What's weird about gaming is a surprising number of gamer would, metaphorically, go wade knee deep through shit to play golf rather than move to another course. Because they're "fans" of that course.

Might be more apt if they flattened all the terrain and paved it with asphalt and still called it the same great place to play.

Us: “It’s a parking lot.”
Them: “Do you not have cars?”

I don't even like Diablo or Diablo-style ARPG's. I've never played more than a few minutes of any of them without getting bored. And even I could see this was a HUGE fucking waste of time. Why would you take one of the most well-loved, successful PC game franchises ever and make a fucking MOBILE PHONE game out of it without also announcing something that was tailored for your fans who are PC gamers? Did you think they wouldn't shit bricks over this? Hell, even if you just announced an HD remake of 1 or 2, even if you hadn't been working on it at all, just "yep, we're doing this!" you'd have had hordes of fans singing your praises rather than calling you out for the money-grubbing cunts you've become.

Get the fuck off the internet.

i wrote another thing but its not as good because everyone here already agrees and also the topic is stupid

Neither factor ever held anyone back before.

I came across a “diablo how to read a room” meme last night on imgur, so you’ve got that going for you. It was crappy and unfunny so I didn’t bother sharing. The message got through at least a little bit to the base.

Just one? I've seen a shit ton so far. And I didn't even know what it was about but figured Blizzard stepped on their collective dicks with this game.

I can't be bothered, but I found this: https://imgur.com/gallery/H6BbaHy

Analysis: https://www.reddit.com/r/Diablo/comments/9tzn9i/something_you_should_know_about_netease/

"the price of Netease pork is very expensive"

LOL, I had to Google that and indeed Netease is raising pigs:

https://technode.com/2017/10/28/netease-black-pig-farm/

It's very expensive cause the pigs are apparently being raised with much much higher standards.

As for the monetization stuff, the way that's setup doesn't have to be the same across regions.  E.g. Maple Story 2 in Korea is horribly "pay to play" (beyond even "pay to win") but the global version only has a few P2W features like some potions.

Just popping my head in to say I went and played the Diablo Immortal demo at BlizzCon (no line to get in to try it, strangely).

Core combat-wise, it seems totally servicable. Control scheme felt similar to phone MOBAs such as Arena of Valor. It was very directed and didn't basically let you interact with any part of the UI, so you just ran through a shared area with other players, ran to a 'dungeon', when you hit the dungeon door you got a UI popup that said "Waiting for players... 1/4" and then other players in the demo area filled out all the slots.

You then fought a boss with some dodging mechanics and such that felt mildly similar to something like a Diablo 3 Baal, and the demo was over.

There were item drops, but it was very much just shown in the Diablo 3 console style, where you pick it up and you get green up arrows if it's better, and it gives you a convenient thing to tap on to equip it.

All of this is to say I didn't see anything inherently wrong with what they immediately presented, but as anyone who gives a shit about ARPGs knows, this is all just the tip of the iceberg - the metagame and the loot chase is paramount to anything else you do, and they didn't show that at ALL.

There is definitely high reason to be suspicious of NetEase, as I'm pretty sure I played the other game they ripped the Immortals UI from and it was a cashgrab nightmare, but I think they intentionally JUST showed the combat loop so they could technically go "See? Plays just like a Diablo game!" - to which you the only response is "on this totally surface level, yeah, TECHNICALLY".

The saddest thing about this bullshit is how much fucking money it's going to make them.

All this makes me want to punch somebody but I don't know why.  Or who.

Good job there, Schild.

I also just got blocked by David Milner. Ah well.  :oh_i_see:

Yeah, I don't care much about Diablo (*ducks), but that was a great read anyway.