f13.net

The teaser trailer for this was released today. I don't think the video is gameplay footage unless the game is all about slow pans of cheerleaders' anatomy. It looks like BB2 rendered footage. No idea if it's simply mobile BB or if they've tried to resurrect that shitty team manager game from a couple of years ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kb1j3vitJL4

Holy shit, stick a fork in it, we;re done here. It's a lane game like that terrible Storm of Vengeance 40k app.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9kCc74_xFw

 :ye_gods:

Who in the fuck is paying money for this shit?

My computer's in it's death throes so I'm desperate for fun phone games, and in a fit of madness decided to give this a shot.

I have no idea what the hell I'm doing.  I mean, I'm not exactly the Napoleon of Blood Bowl, but I at least understand the basics.  This game?  No idea.  At all.

As far as I can tell:

• The computer starts out each match with specific players in a specific formation
• The player pulls five players from their bench and drops them on to the field.  Where or why or what the strategy is, I have NO idea.
• You then select one player and hand them the ball.  If the player with the ball is knocked over, you lose, so this player will probably be standing in the back doing nothing.
• You click start and the game play starts.  And now I have no idea what the hell I'm looking at.  Your players wander around with no discernable strategy or goal, kind of randomly brawling with enemy players.  Everyone has a health bar and if you kill the entire enemy team, you win by KO.  Or, you can wait for one of your players to randomly wander in to the end zone and pass to them to win by touchdown.

Like I said, you automatically lose if your ball carrier is knocked down once, so it's usually a matter of seeing if your four players can beat up their five while your ball carrier cringes in the corner.  If there's any way to influence play, it's obscure.  If you tap a player, your ball carrier will just pass the ball to them, so it's not like you can give orders to players or anything.  If you tap the ball carrier, they'll just make for the end zone and probably get knocked down because the field is only five squares wide so just two standing enemies can clothesline the whole thing and your runner doesn't seem smart enough to avoid enemies.  You either wait for your players to KO the entire enemy team and have no input for the entire round, or you hope that one of your players happens to randomly wander in to the opposing end zone so you can pass to them and instantly win the game.

Balance seems rough.  There are five teams (humans, orcs, dwarfs, skaven, and woodies) and I was planning on going skaven initially, but every game seems to devolve in to a brawl, so it seems like heavier teams are way, way better.  Since the field is only five tiles wide, there's not much room to sneak a runner past the opposing line even if there was a way to order the player to do that which there isn't as far as I can see.  But in addition to that, the players are all lifted from the tabletop Blood Bowl game, but since the game is 100% brawl, there's no reason to not just take a team full of bruisers.  I haven't seen any limit on special player counts, so I don't see why you wouldn't just field a dwarf team full of deathrollers and slayers if you had them unlocked.  There are still runners and things, but I don't see a reason to take them since you need to have KOed half the enemy team in order to have any room to move.  Throwers are really puzzling to me, as well.  Any player can make a 100% perfect pass to any other player (including deathrollers), so not sure why you'd field a piece that trades paper thin armor for being able to dump the ball faster.

The client, predictably, is pretty loopy as well.  I got the daily login bonus twice in one day and three or four of the "daily" bonus chests.  There's no way to customize your team or anything, so at the start of every single match I have to page through my human and orc teams to get to my dwarves and then sift through the heap of useless linemen and runners to try to ID my actual fieldable characters (not that this is easy when the players names and roles are not shown, just a tiny icon of their face, and it gets really difficult trying to remember if this beard with a football helmet means "blocker" or "runner").  It just locked up on me as I was checking my roster to type this (a tutorial popup that won't go away) so there's that, too.

UGH.

That is not a good phone game. Try umm Puzzle and Dragons or Soccer Spirits or something

So, you are saying that it is a game completely dependent on RNG.

 :oh_i_see:

Yes, I'm bitter.