f13.net

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZIt20emgLY

New Will Smith vehicle.  Man and son crash-land on Earth, 1,000 years after humans abandoned it.  (Hey, call it the sequel to Oblivion!)

It's Shyamalan though so it could suck terribly.

1000 years to re-evolve saber-tooth tigers?

TWIST ENDING! THEY ARE IN THE PAST, NOT THE FUTURE!
(I have not watched the trailer)

:facepalm:

It's Shyamalan the twist is the trailer is acutally the movie.

That looks about right.

Ugh, looks terrible.

Does Will Smith ever age?

No.  Dick Clark passed his Quickening on to him to protect it from Seacrest.

You made me blow soda through my nose. I hate you.

Oh, I was going to go with the painting in the closet theory, but I like your answer better.

 :grin:  My work here is done.

That's exactly what I thought.

If it wasn't ShamalamaTWISTDONG and Will Smith's kid, I might be interested.

EDIT: Because was and wasn't aren't the same thing.

twist: father or son is dead, or father is son in past, or something dead brain in vat. 

I sincerly hope that Jayden and Willow Smith go full on Whitney Houston and die while Will Smith and what's her name are still alive. Neither of those kids should have a show business career. Also, that just looked stupid and boring. Like Outlander but with trees instead of Vikings.

Why the hate for the dude's children?

Karate kid remake.

twist is the film won't suck balls?

I liked the Karate Kid Remake.

Except it wasn't fucking karate.

Bovvered? I liked it too - more than the original.

Quite :  My liking it was entirely by using the benchmark of 'Hey, remember how the original sucked balls' coupled with 'Jackie Chan - He's Fucking Awesome'.

I didn't think the Smith clone was that bad. 

It was a shameless grab at a fanbase and sense of nostalgia to make a buck.  It had nothing to do with the original beyond "kid gets bullied, fights back" which could be nearly any movie.  What's next, Roots: Starring Hugh Grant?

I would see that!

"Your name is Toby!"

"Well, actually you see that is not entirely correct, my given name is actually uh, Kunta Kinte"

"Oh, I see, you would like me to use, uh, the name Toby instead. Sorry, sorry, didn't understand that at first. Um, is that something you normally ask of people? I, uh, I, uh, just want to get some sense of what's, um, a guest here ought to be doing. Toby, is it, then. Right. Well, I, uh, frightfully sorry about this, really I am, but I think, if you don't--if you don't--that is, mind, I'd just as soon be Kunta Kinte. Sorry!"

Gold.

I don't think Will Smith is any better an actor than his kids. He plays the same character, regardless the movie, with the same exact expressions and vocal incantation style no matter the movie --  be it Independence Day or Pursuit of Happyness. I think his career apex was Fresh Prince days, yet he continues to rake in superstar loot as primo megastar actor and now director/producer.

And fuck him especially for the travesty that was *I Robot*.

You probably haven't seen "Where the Day Takes You" (admittedly, a small part) or "Six Degrees of Separation", then.

Eh, I like Will Smith, and this movie looks OK.  I really don't get how every animal on earth could have evolved into human hating murder machines in 1,000 years, but maybe its explained (or part of the twist).  Still, at the very least, it could be a good survival adventure story to watch (nothing amazing mind you).  I agree it has a decent probability of being horrible or really boring due to the name attached to the director, but I saw nothing in that trailer that made me hate it.

Why would a spacesuit be designed with glider wings? That bothered me.

Will Smiths performance in "I, Robot" was enjoyable and solid. Its not his fault that the story didn't make a lick of sense and was a total screw around from the book.

The number of "superstar" actors that are not playing the same effective character in every movie is an extremely small list. And even the ones with the skill/range to play something different end up doing similar things in each character. Some of the "best" actors are hacks who play the same character 99% of the time.

Spacesuits don't necessarily have to be designed strictly for vacuum.

I just get a very star trek technomagic vibe which oddly enough I only accept in the trek universe.

Also do we see will smith get blown out of the ship in the wreck in the beginning? I am thinking he actually dies in that scene nd any other scene they are together is a flashback, does the trailer actually show will on the planet in the present?

Wut ?

Sorry. Temorary Nerdgasm. Had my shots now and am over it.

Maybe he has been dead the whole time and it is just a recording / virtual reality device / AI ?

I still have not seen the trailer.

Again, I'm going with 'Wut ?'

Is this the thread where people are just going to post spectacularly wrong shit ?

It was an almost exact remake of the Original except for being set Not In America.  Bullies, Mentor with a troubled past, Stepfather, Mom issues, Bullying*, Childhood sweetheart chasing, Learning to get along, Honor, Fighting, smart ass moves, Wax on and Off, Montage, Fucking Psychopathic Karate Instructor with Real, Real Fucking Issues.

I don't know what the fuck you people are even saying anymore.  It's like you're in the Wood asking where the fuck the trees are.


*I like Bullying.

The karate kid

 :facepalm:

In other words, if they had just called it the Kung fu Kid no-one would have complained. I think people actually expect some actual Karate in the movie if its,you know, in the title.

And apparently even the literature they had when filming the thing called it the Kung fu kid and they called it the kung fu kid on the set.

It's a valid complaint. I have that same problem with a lot of Terry Gilliam films. I was so let down after going to see "Twelve Monkeys" and not seeing any monkeys in it and "Brazil" had nothing to do with either the country or the nuts.  I don't recall anybody getting their kit off for a meal in "Naked Lunch" - although I've never been sober while watching it so may not remember -  and don't even start on that not-actually-a-monster-movie, "The Squid and The Whale".

 :oh_i_see:

Sure, and I'll bet you would have been happy if a batman movie didn't contain batman, the life of Pi was about someone else, The perfect storm was about a nice summer day.

Look it's Asian, kung-fu, karate.... all Asian culture is interchangeable right? I mean who cares?  :oh_i_see:

Ok, yes, it should've been technically called "The Kung Fu Kid" but jesus tapdancing christ, if that's your biggest objection to the fucking movie you need to chill the fuck out.

It was a pretty big deal in Asia.  :awesome_for_real:

I'm actually curious how it did in china and japan respectively cause the title sort of gives them both the finger. 

Also the title is beyond stupid but what really annoys me about it is it is the most blatant example of hollywood laziness.  Not only is it not a new property but the story is nearly the exact same AND on top of that they couldn't ever bother to change the fucking title which has zero fucking bearing on the movie. Think about this a moment, please recognize the stupidity of a movie called "The karate kid"  THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH KARATE.

Well I dont knwo about Japan but the chinese version was altered.

http://shandongxifu.wordpress.com/2010/07/24/chinese-censoring-of-the-karate-kid/

That's kinda neat how they can do that. A little editing and it's a different movie.

I saw the trailer for this with (I swear) at least two or three other apocalyptic movie trailers before The Hobbit.

It didn't look terribly interesting, and I'm not likely to see it.

That is pretty clever. And in fact it sounds like one of those edits made it closer to the original one:

"There is some verbal intimidation, but they only fight him after he flirts with the love interest and throws dirty water on them"

Sounds like the halloween dance in the original where Danny flirted with the blond (wasn't she one of their girlfriends) and the put the hose over the bathroom stall of one of the cobra-kai. That led to the chase and beat down and Miyagi reveal.

Oh, on topic: After Earth, yawn, whatevs.

Saw this movie this weekend with my son. It's not an action movie. It's more of a coming of age story for his son. I called it realistic action in the sense that the things that happen to the kid were fairly believable and that if they threw too much more at him, he probably would not have survived.

If you're squeamish about someone doing first aid on their own bleeding leg, you may want to look away when Cypher has to do that to himself.

Other than that, it was interesting and kept me involved.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/06/03/showbiz/celebrity-news-gossip/after-earth-box-office-ew/


Does not seem to have been a movie to deliberately go see.  :ye_gods:

Yikes, currently at 12% on rotten tomatoes.  That's not a good sign....

While I didn't see it and likely won't, I'd guess it's so low because it's Shamalamadingdong. The Internet hates him - so it's probably about twice that good if you factor that in. So 24% instead of 12%.  :why_so_serious:

Several of the reviews I read described it as Jaiden Smith's "Friday".

It's one of his rare movies where there is no twist. I guess it helps that Will Smith wrote the story. It's pretty straightforward. The only thing that was really missing from the movie was music. Most of the music was so sparsely used that the action on the screen didn't have as much impact as it should have.

I hope you mean this Friday (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0) and not this Friday. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxduMVVnrvU)

So let's say I'm Will Smith, one of the last guys about whom there is still some reason to think I can open a movie strong just because I'm in it. Let's say I want to pair up with my kid and give him a big gift so I get good Father's Day cards.

So:

a) Why do I go get M. Night Shyamalan to be my director? Why? Nobody likes him anymore and he clearly has skill issues. He guarantees a lot of hostility.
b) Why do I play an unsympathetic asshole in my movie? It's not my strength, I don't need to prove myself as an actor, unless we're working through real dad-son issues here.
c) Why do I fuck with Scientology-themed stuff unless I'm a Scientologist? Which I've been denying.

I like Will Smith, but in the trailers when he clearly and correctly pronounces 'Earth' he lost me.  :oh_i_see:

Cults do weird things to people.

(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/868747/042697-tom-cruise.jpg)

Recent interviews suggest that there was some of this at play.

It is funny you see the same thing happen in the movie but then his dad is the only other one left alive on the ship when it lands. The only sense I can make of it is one of the crew looks just like his dad and when the mask is on they just look the same.

I didn't know Shyamalan was involved in this, but it explains my instinctive dislike at watching the trailer. At least the marketing execs finally realized that slapping on "From the director of The Sixth Sense" was scaring away more moviegoers than it was attracting.