f13.net

List'em, jerks!

(will send a list off to Funcom after a week or two)

The voice acting in the quests I've done so far. Even though the smith has to, by RPG law, be scottish.

1. The attacks feel like attacks. Sure, it's intangible, but compare it to "good" feeling guns in a game (like COD4) vs. bad feeling guns (like Halo).
2. Love the facial and body tattoos and scars. Would love to see the ability to place that shit and recolor though.

The areas, buildings, dungeons and landmarks all feel like they have been crafted by legitimately creative artists.  There is life to the zones instead of just putting generic temple_03 on flat brown land surface at coordinates 230,749.  Most MMOs are just a lot of space with trees and rocks put in as fillers but this game has really well crafted and well thought out areas.

The racial features on the face custimization screen at char gen. I like how with each race, there are certain fixed set of bone structure types that can't be manipulated past a certain point. Aquilonians for instance, are going to have some form of aquiline nose. That took imagination.

Biggest like for me... besides some of the player/npc models.  The graphics are awesome.

So far there's not much for me to keep me playing, other than seeing if the game opens up more.  I burned through to 20 last night to get our guild name and then finished the SP mode this afternoon.  I'm hoping the class opens up more, more abilities and more stuff to do.  Unfortunately crafting doesn't even come til 40?  I think. 

1. This game is not afraid of shying away from adult content, without trying to use adult content to a fault.
2. Voice acting.
3. The entire Tortage story is the best arc I have ever seen in an MMO. It approaches the better single player RPGs. I may be able to explain this better later, but for now I would say that the adult themes in its story help the suspension of disbelief. Too often I roll my eyes at rpg objectives because they are watered down enough to be in a disney movie. "Kill X Pirates" does not do it for me, even if you tell me the nasty pirates have been pillaging and looting up and down the coast. Show me a mother character who can evoke the proper emotion after losing her last child to the pirates. THAT will dial me in. It takes good writing, good voice acting, and a good arc. AOC is the best so far.

The world design and aesthetics so far (haven't left Tortage yet) are excellent.  The pacing and writing in the night stage so far is pretty damn good and there are some moments where the action just flows perfectly.

Games plays well, feels smooth and responsive.  The combat like Schild said 'feels' right.

Pretty impressed so far, I had a lot of hope for this game whilst trying not to have too much hope and I haven't been dissapointed for a change.

I've done nothing but quests after leaving tortage (early level 19 to 25), played 4 hours, gotten 6 levels. I'm wondering where the quests stop?

melee combat - hitting the target with a few side shots to shit his shields to set him up for a combo attack which he'll then be weak to.
massively overpowered demologist and their long-range, high-power fire esssplosions.  play em now, they'll be nerfed eventually.  And I don't even have a succubus yet.

Oh I forgot a good one.  Thanks so much for just accepting the fact that people will use websites to find out how to do the quests and marking the actual quest objective locations on the map.  Xs for one off things and big shaded areas telling us where to find a certain type of mob.  I hate having to run around the whole map to find a specific type of alligator to kill.

Awesome.

I like the Combat Rose and I like how no one is around in the morning and it runs loads better. 

I am a follower of the Combat Rose too! Every time I mention it I get a wide range of different "Uh..?", so I thought I was alone here...  *does the secret handshake*

EDIT: broken English

Yea, the combat rose is fucking awesome.

I don't even know what you are talking about. 'Splain?

Interface -> Hud -> Enable combat rose.

It's really worth playing with the combat rose enabled.  I think it makes the game more exciting.  I'm hoping that if/when we get ui mods or more options, I can move it where it's more comfortable for me. 

What's so great about the combat rose? 

It's fun?

Good comments above - the zone construction is just amazing.

Smaller items of interest:

1.  Party member bars fade out when out of casting range as a healer.  Nice Nice.
2.  Collision detection.  Makes for a challenge moving in and out of melee range when in party.
3.  Races.  It's a tribute to the game that 3 variations of humans actually feel and look different.
4.  Climbing.
5.  The European/ international flavor to the game. 

Chicks are hot in this game. I'm tempted to mangina it.

You should.  We should make Bat Country a girl guild.  Call it Bat Cuntry.

That is both awesome and horrible.  I think I approve.

The look of the items/clothing/armor. This is how a fantasy setting should look (granted, I'm a little bias towards Howard's vision already, but hey). Ancient and realistic. I get tired of the Tolkien/Arthurian/D&D motif in games like Daoc or EQ. And don't care all that much for the cartoony/outlandish look of Warhammer or Warcraft.

edit: Also, no elves. Or dwarves. Or orcs. Or what the fuck ever.

I love how your first attack when drawing your weapons is different than the rest.

I spent almost the same amount of time tweaking my characters' looks in creation as I've done in CoH (almost). Good job, Funcom.

Now I'm crashing. Time to actually play tomorrow.  :uhrr:

Small tip:, equipment on vender's, and in the world, have different looks but the same stats. So basically, if its a "Tattered" hood, there is also a Tattered circlet with the same stats, so it comes down to personal aesthetic choices. I am currently in the habit of buying everything, and putting together an outfit that i like with he options.

I do wish they had a "Dress up room" like option..but, ah, i bet it comes in time.

Somthing elese that really impressed me, and i am glad they did it.

The bank, your auctions, and your mail. ALL IN ONE FUCKING WINDOW! Funcom +1.

After level 20, at no point should you be wearing any vendor trash. Also, around level 30, named items start dropping. Even from random bosses. With names tied to the boss you killed.

Yeah, i know. at the lower levels however, money comes easy, and vendor stuff is cheep and good. I just really appreciate that i CAN dress like some cloth wearing noble, or a hooded bandit, or something in between with out worrying about stats. It just makes me wonder about the options in look we shall see with crafting ETC..

Well, at level 37, I look like Eqyptian Royalty short of a stupid hat with a sphinx on it or some other equally silly shit. All green highlighted, purple and gold robey/kilty shit. And it's all incredibly useful. And matched without any effort from myself. Props to them for making sure things worked out. Though I might've picked it all subconciously because my brain works like a woman's when it comes to MMOG clothing. I wore padded over composite in SWG for the longest time. In other words, take my opinion of the clothing with a grain of salt.

After a full night what I like....

-Combat is great and has that schild approved "feel"
-Graphics is amazing and runs really well on my midrange pc.
-The quest journal/maps is great and works well
-Voice acting is terrific
-Quests are interesting and make you think/explore (Ok, very little but compared to most MMO's)
-Mature content (not mentioning the fatalities but the quest content that is "dark")
-Environment/graphics is lush and looks really well. At the beach I was captivated by the water, at the volcano I was looking at the lava flow.
-Attention to detail, I was sure I put an arrow into the back of that NPC's head and indeed it was there after death.
-Class focus, there's some great details/mechanics to a ranger that separates it from its archtypes. (only speaking of the ranger and tempest so far, excuse the abused ones)
-Rewarding play styles, if you complete your combo's and preform good tactics you get an overpowered class feel.
-Solid client. It's cludgy as hell in some area's but for 5+hrs straight the memory consumption was in line, and no crashes
-Server backend! Someone deserves a medal for their database and network infrastructure design. I had zero disconnects, no lag, no problems accessing the servers all night, no noticeable server lag or processing (On deathwhisper that was full with queue's in primetime).
-Night time quests are an interesting way to instance that's fun so far.
-Character customization (from feats/skills/appearance)

Thats it for now, now for the bad parts (http://forums.f13.net/index.php?topic=13197.msg452300#msg452300).

I was a bone armor, or No armor kinda guy. I liked snappy clothing.

Is that why the guild leader title is "Madam"?

No, that's why you're a trollop.

Well, I hope you like your hos in chainmail, cuz that's what you're gonna get.

Combat. Definitely like combat.  :heart:

This morning I started up a Herald of Xotli. Slamming bad guys, watching them fly, then running up and breathing fire into their faces made me happy on a level that probably needs therapy.

Oh, the game looks rather nice, too.

But combat. Oh sweet glorious combat, how I adore thee.

Yes. The combat. WAR is fucked if they are using the old EQ/WoW system. Every future MMO needs this combat. Say goodbye to /assist forever!

/assist has no place in a pvp game.  Doing away with it is a very wise move.

I like the combat system, but as a Guardian (needing to hit multiple mobs at once) I turned off auto target and auto facing.  It's SO much easier now.

You going to join the AOC party?

If Schild makes it to the end game, I will.  Any game, particularly an MMO, that can keep him hooked that long deserves at least some attention.   

I saw a female demonologist wandering around and her succubus pet was actually male.  I think that's a nice touch.

It was completely outweighed by how terribly buggy the quests in the Khopshef pyramid are though...

I've been bitching enough lately, so here's while I'm playing:

- Interesting classes.  It's nice enough just to have a lack of generic naming.  Most of the classes appeal to me in some way.  Hasn't been that case in a while.
- Fun combat.  AoE melee damage from directional strikes. Combos.  Shielding (although this does remind me a little of AC2's "hit them while they're flashing")
- Fatalities never get old, especially if you're using an edged weapon or flinging fire at someone.
- Specifically designed solo portions of the game.  The rest I've played is also very solo friendly.  I'm sure this may change, everyone seems to fuck up with this initially. However, the solo night instances are just something that I've always wanted in a MMO.  Something that's just about me and my character development.  Also, a nice way to get away from the charming community for a while.
- Environment.  The house in Bubshur (sp) is an amazing Lovecraft inspired crawl into the depths. This game is taking me back a little to EQ zone design where some places specifically have no rails and danger can be found.  I'm liking the darkness they've crafted into parts of this world.  I seriously needed a break from WoW's dungeon design where function and encounter design take the forefront and coherence and overall justice to the theme are tossed by the wayside.
-The promise of something different.  This, however, is where I became part of the problem.  I paid for something I knew was not finished and was likely to involve me quitting in a huff over "the state of the game".  I wanted something different, and new.. and for once it doesn't feel like I'm playing WoW's retarded cousin.

I like the game.  I seriously hope they fix the broken shit in a reasonable time frame.

I'm seconding this. A few more points I'd like to add :

-The zones are awesome. This goes under the Environment, but stuff like Tortage, Conalls Valley and Stygia are just fantastic. I'm just lvl 35 at the moment, but I hope this trend continues.
-Animations and less level restrictive PvP. Meaning a skilled lvl 30 can kill a lvl 40 player.

Posted today:


I'm not sure I like the bit where he says it's not a "promise".  Hopefully, that doesn't mean what it says and is just some sort of Norwegian flubberubbery.  This game will not survive months and years unless the PROMISE to fix those things!

Ok, so the CRM person is Glen Swan. I'm going to rip him an asshole. Thx.

UI AND FIELD OF THE DEAD ARE NOT FUCKING IMPORTANT YOU COCKMONGLER.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Ok, yea, I'm going to get faded on percocet and get to writing later. Sigh. Assholes.

Unfortunate that they made it to the second step, tripped, and landed on their own dicks.

Although the complaints about the UI and chat colours on the AoC Offal Forum are prolific, they should know that what is going to ultimately cost them subscribers are the technical and hardware issues, tradepost guys and all that necessary crap you absolutely need to have.  It's good that they acknowledge their customers, but a post like that makes you wonder if they're just telling the trolls and people who whingers what they want to hear.  I don't think this will shut anyone up, though.

A professional-looking UI is pretty important, imho... and it's not likely that people who work on UI issues are the same people that work on performance improvements or content additions, so I don't really get the problem there.

It doesn't matter who is saying what. It matters what the CRM says to the players. Nothing else. Just that. If he says UI colors and not the fact socketing a gem puts you in a crash loop, schild gets angry. VERY ANGRY.

OK, that is a fair point, I wasn't really noticing the lack of "shit that is just plain broke-dick" on that list.

Wasn't there some funcom post that described crafting as "in a state of complete chaos?"  That's some, uh, honesty right there.

Not good enough. I'm going to show them what complete chaos looks like.

Tarib still doesn't get it. Better than the original post, but I'm still ANGERERERRERERRRRY.

In lieu of a wordy post pointing out why this game rocks, I instead offer a video clip in which you will find  interactive combat, well scripted events, a touch of the mature and, of course, a volcanic eruption from which I must escape having just replaced the sacrificial virgin's blood with that of a whore. 

Did I mention enraged cannibalistic slaves? 

Apparently you can make this shit up. (http://files.filefront.com/AoC+Volcanomp4/;10368218;/fileinfo.html)

The combat system in this game addresses a long standing problem in the genre.  I think that aspiration alone will be the standard to which future mmos are held.  It is a step in the right direction that has been ignored by other more prominent and less interesting titles. 

Interesting, your evil priestess was broken. For me, she animated bowing down and then emptying the vial into the lava.

Just wondering, is your jump animation broken too? (Works fine for me, but I've seen other folks complain).

I like that I've said "Woah!" more times playing AoC than any other game.  They really nailed alot of the little things that add a certain flavor.

In the high-res version, you can see the priestess pouring out the blood, but she doesn't move anywhere.  I had my suspicion that she should have done ... something.

You missed the most obvious bug - my  :pedobear: Shaman's skin is stained blue because just before this video, a Heretic killed me with a lightening spell.  When I rezzed, I was a blue as Violet Beauregarde.

I think my jump animation works, although it is funny looking.  Since this is the Like thread, I'll just say that I like it when bugs aren't show-stoppers.  The only show-stopper I've seen so far was an important quest NPC not being in the location that they should have in an instance.  It happened a couple of times, requiring me to exit the instance and re-enter.  Blue skin and animations that don't trigger I can deal with.


This game has, more than once, reduced me to a giggling idiot.  Its nice to have fun while playing a fantasy mmo, and Funcom brought the fun.

The one thing everyone seems to like in the combat system. But if you have lag does the combat system get a whole lot less fun? (anyone knwying from australia?)

According to the appropriate threads on overclockers.com.au and whirlpool.net.au, ping times are roundabout 300ms or so, which is pretty respectable, and noone is complaining about laggy combat.  Complaints are pretty much the same as what people are saying here.

The Tortage story line is pretty damn cool especially when you get different pieces of it depending on what archetype you play. It's not quite enough to completely negate the repetitiveness of it, but it does help a bit. Rogues, so far, have the coolest bit, imo.

Don't know if it has been mentioned here yet, but the swimming animation is the best of any game released to date.

Also, you can go off the rails and explore geometry quite a bit in some places. Don't confine yourself to the roads.

I'm a mountain climbing fiend. My shoes have tank treads. I can go over ANYTHING.

This game is closer to Oblivion than to WoW.

Yes, that is cool and something I've actually missed since games like EQ and AC.  I've found some interesting paths just in places like White Sands.

I've wandered around and found a couple of interesting places not associated with any quest I've had and I've found a few unusual bosses, but so far, I haven't found anything interesting to do in any of those interesting places and the bosses, for the most part, don't drop anything at all.

Agree, two ape bosses and a tiger boss (which is a Junlge Book homage) in White Sands, and a snake boss in the harbor cave.  They all drop nada.  This word "boss", I don't think it means what funcom thinks it means.

I really like the arena in the tarantia noble district, even if it is a bit buggy.

Those are mostly the ones I'm talking about.  I haven't found a quest associated with them, either, though maybe there is for some class I've not tried yet or I just somehow missed the quest giver.  I've out-leveled them with my main, in any case. 

Of the 3 most important things to me that are problematic with the game, Itemization pre level-40 is #2. 1 and 3 will be divulged most certainly later.

Same here - I did every quest in Tortage that I could find, all the way to the end, and I don't know what the scoop is one those bosses.  My gut says that someone in funcom likes the concept of bosses/rare spawns just out in the wild waiting to be found by explorers, but the itemization just isn't fully baked yet.

Something else that makes me think this is the case are the gorilla's in the very first part of the game.  At first they didn't drop banannas, now they do (I'm not sure if there was a patch between when they didn't, and when they started to).  So it seems that loot isn't done yet.

I noticed that as well and came to the same conclusion. Ye gods I hope we're right.

I haven't had a banana since beta, dammit!  (http://www.realitybbqforums.com/images/smilies/bananadead3.gif)

I got a banana on my newest toon.

Has anyone tried roof jumping in Tortage yet? I spent 20 minutes trying to get up on a roof with no success. Got close a few times using spirnt and jump.

Collision detection. Awesome.

Agree, the collision detection is awesome.  My friend started doing this thing where he'd sprint in front of me, then stutter-step.  Pretty soon I'd start to dodge his stutter-step as a way not to be slowed down.

Now we are into full-blown conan-nascar racing within zone instances to the exit point.  Makes me laugh like hell each and every time.

If we all stand in front of the doorway, can we effectively grief people by blocking their way?

Do it with your war mammoths.

Have you used a trader recently? Don't be the first in line.  :mob:

I haven't been playing lately and I probably won't be for a while.  I'll probably log in to f13 sporadically, too, though I've been forgetting and leaving myself logged in to whatever the last thing I looked at was.  I'm having family issues and all sorts of awful stuff happening so I've been in a bit flaky and forgetful.  I'm looking forward to finding new and amusing ways to grief people, though.

I'm sorry to hear that.  :sad:

 :crying_panda:

*hugs for Signe*

The best thing about this game is the combat.  It's fun - comparable to City of Heroes combat rather than WoW combat.  I don't know why - more active, maybe?  Feels powerful off the bat?

(Except those hell levels of bear shaman that is).

The game is very pretty.

Oh, absolutely.  If they get the item system figured out that might make a close second though, it looks like they are right on the verge of random style Diablo loot.  I've killed a bunch of the same outdoor Bosses on White Sands Isle and I keep getting different 'random' green drops from them.

Now, if they would break things out of the bag so that you just get the big fountain of shinies on a kill...

I like the combat, too.  It gives my fingers something to keep them awake.  People make the mistake of just mashing buttons and then they complain about it.  If you pay attention, the combat is good fun. 

I have my combo's organized by direction so I can more easily match em up to what direction there is the least shielding.  Not hitting the 2 or 3 stacked shield area makes a HUGE (I think I've seen up to 5x) difference.

Also, just because a combo has been replaced by a higher level one doesn't make it worthless.  Stick 'em on the secondary bar and use them while waiting for cool-downs, they will still do more damage than hitting a combo against a heavily shielded side.  They aren't on the same timer, at least not that I've seen.

Make sure you pay attention to the 'additional attacks' part as well, a combo that does 2Mid + 3UL means it does a total of 5 attacks two to the middle and three to the left.  If you know your combos then you can play around with making the mob stack his shields on one side opening him up for a big attack elsewhere.

Also, just hitting the attack keys can do decent damage as well, if you are short of stamina or only have combos for shielded areas.

It pays to know, and have the rhythm of the weapon you are using. Spamming = death. In most cases, X2 in PvP.

All the stuns and knockbacks for the powers of the same name seem to share a timer.  Regular combos do not.  I need to test with my life-leech combos to see if they stack or replace one another, as I don't recall having two icons up.  (Not saying much, as I'm too busy having fun whacking foozles to notice most of the time.)

Newer rank ability's will auto replace the old in your bars.

Huh? The 2 and 3 are the hotkey that mid/UL are assigned to, unless it also does Q and E extra attacks on LL and LR.

I keep hearing about missing content at higher levels, but I respectfully disagree. It's not that there are less quests, more like they give less XP compared to what you need to level up, hence the feeling of lot less to do.
Sure there are a few zones that badly needs more stuff to do (Eiglophian Mountains!), but on the other hand we have a cool and rich zone as the Atzel's Approach (60 - 70) and the extremely content-rich Keshatta (70 - 80). Keshatta in particular has an insane amount of quests, and that's weird because thanks to fast respawn (which is in my opinion lacking in the first 60 levels) it's easier to level up from 70 to 80 than from 50 to 60.
While the PvE content is far from being finished, I was expecting desertification, while the two above mentioned zones are definitely cool and full of things to do and see, not to mention dungeons.

And I like it, so to stay on topic:

Things I like = Atzel's and Keshatta, level 60+ and 70+ zones.

I had to grind out about four levels in the fifties but since I like the combat it wasn't a huge chore.  The cannibal caves is a pretty sweet grinding spot in the low to mid fifties since it is a private instance with really fast respawn.  I probably wouldn't have needed to grind out quite so many levels if I had traveled all over the world to do the group quests but it's a pain in the ass.  Cistern's main boss is on a one hour respawn timer even though the damn instance is public so kill stealing gets brutal.  There are also quests in each resource area for an instance which scale 40-80 but I only did one.

Thunder river is beautiful.

Falconeer can you tell me if I should start in Aztel's or Thunder river now that I just got level 60?  Or do you just bounce back and forth once you run out of level appropriate quests?

Miasma, I'd say that you can safely work your way in Thunder River up to lev 64 - 65, doing all the quests you can get save for the Group ones (inside prison). Eastern side of the map, with the mercenaries, is an XP mine. Western side isn't that good if you ask me, too many minions. As you hit 65-ish and you are almost out of quests go to Atzel's. You'll find a gazillion of quests (some as low as 60 but still heavy on XP rewards) and insane respawn rates, which means more deaths but faster leveling if you can deal with it or you have friends.

Bear Shaman rez animation is win.

i caught some of the conan movie on one of the hbos a few nights ago and the fighting looked so similar to the combat in game it was impressive.

Walking through a resource zone, and seeing a mob "Damsel in Distress" I approach, she turns into "Fennestra the Deceiver" and attacks me.

This is the kind of shit that makes me smile, and be glad I bought the game.

I liked that too, he even says "I can't believe you fell for that".

Yeah, I hate to do that "me too" thing, but seriously, I love the damsel in distress thing and the bear shaman rez animation a lot. Game is plenty of neat, cool, beautiful things like this. As soon as the bug fog will be gone, hopefully everyone will notice.

I am having my first siege tonight, and hoping 45 days of mini-gaming and open field PvP will pay off somehow. Kinda exciting, it makes my ShadowBane gland tingle.

On topic: I am liking the PvP combat in all its forms, hitting and killing is totally satisfying and collision detection adds a layer of goodness that you just can't explain with words.


P.S: Isn't it nice to necro a post about the good things of Conan when looks like everything has turned to catshit already?

If you're the attacker, the only way you can win is if you destroy ALL the buildings first before the keep.  If the keep is destroyed before you do that you lose.

I defended my guilds BK the other day, and it was a lot of fun.

I am geuinely curious to hear about your siege experience.

Quick one (I'll elaborate later): siege experience = AWFUL performance for almost everyone. Damn, Funcom relly like to push their subscribers/supporters hard  :uhrr:

So, that turned to catshit also? heh.

Well no, it has potential  :grin:

I like the Map having arrows pointing to the NPCs.

The click on the X or area to highlight my quest is also cool.

Seperate Inventory tabs for Stuff, Resources and Quest stuff.

Mounts that can kick people off cliffs.

Character models that look hot.

Some of the dialogue is pretty amusing enough to make me finish my coffee before reading. (that guy at the end of the dungeon where you kill all the creepy statues, for example).

Not rellying on gear so much (yet). I'd rather get on with the fun of playing than stressing over getting purple titled gear.

Flexibility of grouping. So far it's seemed to work out well without worrying too much about whether the tank is tank specced, or not. Just about every group so far has been doable.

Not a revolutionary game, but at least stepping in the right direction for me.

So, does anyone here still like this game, or am I alone now?  I typically can't stand pvp, but I ended up migrating all my characters over to Cimmeria, because it makes the game feel more alive, and the overall level of dickishness is much lower than your typical pvp server.

As to things I like, I enjoyed the rationale behind how the resurrection points work, and why you end up there when you die.  The shift that happens to you at your level 60 destiny quest is also reflected in the game world, if you take a look at the rez points from that point onward.

I like it, just not playing ATM. Its needs work, and i am having fun Duoing with my girl in LOTRO.

I like it, though I'm a little burned out and taking a break.  My free time has been really low the last few weeks, and I'm taking advantage of the EQ2 "give you all expansions for a one month sub" deal with what time I do have.

I like it theres just nothing to do at 80 yet, and my crafted armor is so op i feel like i have to wear it and it looks like ass.

Still liking and playing a lot. Leveling up a 3rd character (never did anything like this since Shadowbane superfast leveling servers) thanks to buddy keys and very easy powerleveling techniques.

Still waiting for the PvP patch and some real action, but the occasional Border Kingdom mayhem and the promises of things to come are more than enough to keep me and my friends hooked.

Hmm.... this is tough :P i like to sit on my horse and kick unsuspecting victims off bridges and ledges :)

I wanted to like it, really I did. But in comparison with a certain other not-yet-published game that I cannot speak further of  :nda: even the "evolutionary" features of AoC aren't very impressive. It's otherwise a cookie-cutter design in an industry where the cookies have long since been cut by a very competent team of designers. What people want is something other than cookies. If you're making cookies, they'd better be fucking fantastic cookies, and AoC's aren't. They're average with a bit of weird vaguely interesting flavor and then every fourth cookie has lard or smoked fish or some fucking shit in them and then the assholes that sold you the cookies tell you to shut the fuck up and eat your lutefisk already.