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My favourite of the three was History of Violence, which got largely overlooked due to an inexplicable NC17 rating.

On the other hand I'm running out of stuff to watch as well. Stuck with 80s and 90s TV series'.

What the fuck is up with Gulps sig?

A History of Violence

WTF is wrong with you?

WTF is wrong with you?

WTF is wrong with you?

That movie sucked so fucking badly. Oh my god. It was pure shit. The story was meh. The acting was meh. The only decent part of the movie was how they would just randomly throw in sex scenes. The bad guy at the end was laughable. The entire movie... could... have... taken... about... an... hour.... less.... if.... every.... one... didn't.... talk... like.... this.

Seriously, tell me what was good, or even decent in this movie?

He's basically trying too hard to be Kubrick.

Yep, Cronenberg is a psycho. I've watched about 4 of his movies and they all have come off like he's trying to make an artistic point, but it's fails to achieve any sort of real poignancy. That, and some of movies just show how messed up his mind is, but not in a good way like Kubrick. He's basically trying too hard to be Kubrick.

ExistenZ was probably his best, imo. It was about games though so it sort of made more sense to me.

You're shitting me right?

The Fly is a classic horror movie and like John Carpenter's The Thing, is a case of a remake that is far superior to the original.
Videodrome is almost prophetic in its underlying message and was way ahead of its time.
ExistenZ is basically Videodrome 2 and has a very similiar underlying message.
Scanners at least is a great guilty pleasure movie.
The Dead Zone is one of the better Stephen King adaptions out there.
Now through in Dead Ringers, Crash (for some people), and Spider and you have a man whose work is 100X more interesting and subversive than most film makers out there.

A History of Violence was ok. I found the story simplistic but that wasn't his fault. I also feel it was a commercial movie he made to finance more pet projects. I consider it disappointing by Cronenberg standards.

But seriously dude, if you don't recognize good film making when you see it just shut the fuck up and don't spout from your ass.

Naked Lunch is ridiculously bizarre, and hardly anyone could argue that it's pretty perverted. I walked away thinking that the director was a sicko.

Hate Cronenberg all you want, but at least say something that makes sense. Kubrick made two thriller and/or horror films that were nothing like Cronenberg films either in content or just sense of cinematographic scope. One was a Stephen King book and the other a study in dystopia and delinquency (which was a Burgess story, not Kubrick's).

Kubrick is also the guy who gave us Spartacus, Paths of Glory, 2001, and Barry Lyndon. A string of epic or period films that outnumber anything that dabbled with horror or psychosis. Cronenberg hasn't done anything resembling an epic.

Cronenberg has cited Samuel Beckett and William Burroughs as his main influences, and if you had firsthand familiarity with them, you would see that he's robbing them. Not Kubrick.

Yes, Cronenberg is sick and twisted, but not because of that movie. That's all Burroughs there, Cronenberg just gave it cinematic form. I'm not a huge fan of his stuff, but what he did with that work was pretty good.

One is considered to be among the best horror films of all-time. The other is The Dead Zone.

Heh. Fair enough. Dead Zone isn't on my list of Cronenberg favorites.

Highlander (there were no sequels in my mind)

El Espinazo del Diablo

Huh? He's never done one thing that has touched upon Cronenberg's themes. If anything, Tsukamoto is the latter day Cronenberg.

I have had Netflix for about 4 years now and I have honestly reached a point where I am having a hard time finding movies that I haven't seen that look good.

Does anyone have any good recommendations.


I mean I rented The Marine I need help people.

K-PAX is a stretch. I put it in the same sort of schlocky guilty pleasure bin as Hearts in Atlantis.

I tossed Invader Zim on my list and just got done watching the last disc.  Goddamn funny and bizarre cartoon.  I'll recommend that if you're man enough to admit to watching 'kiddie stuff.'

Also, if you saw the Christmas episode, you might remember one of the kids asking the snowman a question like "What is Zim's motivation anyways?  Why does he want to conquer the world so badly?  What does he have to gain, or to lose?"  The snowman lifts the kid by the head and slides him underneath the bed.  That question was, word for word, what a Nickelodeon exec asked during one of the passes on that episode.

Because it's like asking what the Coyote's motivation is in trying to catch the Roadrunner.  What does he have to gain or to lose?

What ?  It's not like that at all.  The Coyote is thin as hell :  He wants a meal.

It's the same question as : The Brain wishes to take over the world.  Why ?

It's pointless.  The answer's 'because'.

So Rotten Tomatoes recently ran a special on the Top 100 worst rated movies of all time. Its kind of entertaining to see how many of them I actually bought the dvd for (three). Some things were obvious, like Uwe Boll having three movies in the top 35, but there were a few suprises, like having around ten movies rated lower than Battlefield Earth (one of the ones I own).

I'm sure Uwe considers it a victory that he didn't get first place (he got second).

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/features/special/2007/wotw/ (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/features/special/2007/wotw/)

I'd toss in Tim Allen and his satanic cohort Martin Short, but yeah.

Whatever the terms of the Faustian bargain Tim Allen seems to have made with the forces of darkness, they must have been satisfied with the release of "Zoom." Imagine, if you will, a "comedy" about youthful superheroes whose training is shepherded by a washed-up old character named Captain Zoom (played, with an appropriate lack of conviction, by Allen). Courteney Cox, who must have been tricked into the role, and Chevy Chase, who must have some horrendous gambling debts, are also inexplicably involved; the whole thing is set to grueling new songs from Smash Mouth, who had to have taken at least six days away from playing bar mitzvahs and supermarket grand openings to record the soundtrack.

I mistakenly deleted my post twice before finally getting a draft to work; Tim Allen was on the list and I omitted him. He is an assclown, and Galaxy Quest succeeded despite him, not because of him.

Tim Allen was in Galaxy Quest. He may not be a great actor, but that was a great movie.

Somebody mentioned Night Watch (http://imdb.com/title/tt0403358/) already.

The trailer for Day Watch (http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/daywatch/trailera/) is out.  :-D

Flash Gordon.

Somebody mentioned Night Watch (http://imdb.com/title/tt0403358/) already.

The trailer for Day Watch (http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/daywatch/trailera/) is out.  :-D

Fuck. Logan's Run WAS silly, that was its charm. And we already had a remake, it was called the Island and it fucking sucked.

Ah, I can't even remember the last time I did a kickarse article, but having watched 'Logan's Run' again last weekend, I felt I had to do one. If you're unfamiliar with the film, it's an unappreciated 1976 classic of science fiction starring Michael York and Jenny Agutter. I'll just translate that for the youth of today; It stars the bloke who plays 'Basil Exposition' in the Austin Powers films and some boobs.

So, why would living in the fictional society of Logan's Run kick fucking arse?

1. Hedonistic lifestyle

"Mankind lives only for pleasure," reads the little blurb at the beginning. "The only drawback is that you have to die at 30."

Suits me! Think about this, people. We're constantly told in boring women's magazines and Pepsi adverts that the average person spends 99.9% of their life doing stuff they hate, and only some really small amount of time having fun. So tell me, would you rather be bored for 80 years or having endless fun for 30? Let's face it, your life would have made exactly the same impact on the world either way, bitch bitch. But imagine being on holiday for your whole life! On holiday in some combination shopping mall / theme park / whore pit! Any time you feel like a good shag, just press a button and out pops a willing partner! The only drawback I can see with that is that you'll only be of the heterosexual age of consent for 14 of your thirty years, but then again, they probably don't police that sort of thing much.

2. No-one over thirty

Yeah, who needs a bunch of miserable old scrotes whining about their arthritis and how much their menopause hurts? At a stroke this society has eliminated undue expense on the care of the elderly and the universal embarrassment that comes out of the male mid-life crisis. Of course, you could argue that they'd be missing out on the wisdom and intelligence that comes with age, but who needs that when all you do all day is waste time, eat and fuck? Leave the young hipsters to their fun, oldies! Your place is at that weird ceremony where everyone wears Jason masks and gets randomly blown to bits. But if you really do selfishly think that you deserve to be inflicted on later generations, you could always make a run for it.

3. You could always make a run for it

One wonders why those future policeman are so successful in killing 'runners', when they collectively have the marksmanship of an avocado. With a little avocado hat. At the beginning of the film when Basil Exposition and his psycho mate are chasing that bloke, they keep missing and shooting the floor, before cornering the poor sod and shooting the wall behind him about six times before the guy dies of exasperation. Then, of course, when you're on the run, you have to throw in your lot with the Resistance, who will probably threaten you with long penis-shaped spears which spunk little puffs of smoke in your face. Then you have to get past that robot fuckwit... you know, perhaps death would be whole lot less complicated. More restful, too.

4. Everyone has to wear the same thing

At last! No more hours spent in front of the wardrobe trying to decide whether or not to go out in my trenchcoat! Everyone just wears the same fruity brightly-coloured garment depending on how old you are. Fashion arseholes would no longer exist! Fashion shows in which empty-headed blank-faced plastic-skinned models strut up and down wearing bits of cellophane and fur stapled together will be no more! And Calvin Klein! Calvin Klein will have to eat shit pie and like it! Any world in which shit pie passes the lips of Calvin Klein gets a thumbs up in my book.

5. No families

The concept of 'family' is eradicated; all children are raised by the state. What does this mean? Well, it means you have to cook your own turkey on Christmas day, but on the other hand, you don't have to buy anyone any presents.

6. Jenny Agutter's tits

Or as I like to call them, 'Percy' and 'Horace'.

WHY IT WOULDN'T KICK ARSE TO BE A CHARACTER IN THE FILM 'LOGAN'S RUN'

1. Dodgy programming

So, the master computer that runs the city assigns Basil Exposition to track down this 'sanctuary' place where all the over-30s have been running off to, then he comes back at the end and tells the computer that no such place exists, whereupon the computer crashes and the entire city explodes violently. You know, my old C64 used to do exactly the same thing, except it used the phrase 'Syntax Error' and DIDN'T cause any explosions whatsoever. You'd have thought by the year 2247 that computer programmers would have been able to faze out the 'blow up the world' error. Hey, maybe Bill Gates was the founder of this new society (nerd humour). Makes a change from the blue screen of death, I suppose (more nerd humour).