f13.net

Haggard now "completely heterosexual" (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070206/ap_on_re_us/haggard_sex_allegations;_ylt=AqEth5DmYhBMXvAlohS94g.s0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTA3OTB1amhuBHNlYwNtdHM-)

You know, that made me laugh so very much.

But it's not funny.

I disagree, the addition of "completely" is hysterical.

It amazes me that someone can spend so much time reading the Bible and still completely miss the message. 

I'd like to announce that I am once again in the closet.  Thank you.

No, its very funny.  I feel for someone with a sex addiction problem.  Haggard isn't someone.  He got his hand caught in the wrong cookie jar and is now saying the "Devil made me do it."

Umm...ok.

Remember, it's only gay if you're receiving.

Fundie-to-English translation: "Haggard now 'much pickier' about male hookers he frequents".

It is laughable.  And sad.

Maybe he'll figure it out when everything resurfaces in a few years and makes his life even more miserable.

Sadly, I've seen this kind of thing happen before in my childhood church. Not the gay thing, but the crazy odd affair thing. The minister of our 5000+ member church in a ritzy suburb of Dallas, TX got busted by the congregation having an affair with his secretary in the actual church building.

He was of course disgraced and removed, and left the city after a very one-sided settlement in favor of his wife, obviously. The sad part was that his son was my age, and I got to see first hand what it's like to watch someone completely lose respect for your father in one day. It made me think how horrible it would be to find something like that out about my father, and how socially devestating it was. I tried to rally around him as best I could, but children, regardless of church groupings, are still terribly cruel. He had to leave most of his old friends behind a year after the incident.

Your tale points out the real irony behind this; that Haggard claims to be 'completely heterosexual' isn't the issue. He was adulterous. That, however, doesn't seem to matter, since even if he had had a random gay encounter, that's somehow not really being unfaithful :P

Maybe the meth will help him stay straight.

Irony Overload.

A piece on cnn says Haggard is being run out of town also.  So the "healing" can begin.  Can't really feel sorry for him, if it had been someone else, he'd have done the same to them.

I guess it goes to show that people who live in glass houses should not fuck their gay massuse while doing meth.


or something

Hey, it worked in ancient greece.

Hey, he spent three weeks in rehab...if anything that's overkill!

Gay is much more addicting that drugs or alcohol.  It's why all the fundies are more concerned about their children catching it than dealing with other social issues.

I hear you can get it from flashy clothes and drinks with little hats now.

I thought they were part of the symptoms.

On the other hand. I do not think that I am gay.

(http://217.188.35.147/pics/de/members/6/212/1074900-3289.jpg)

You are still going to hell.

To me, the sad thing is that people can talk a good game about forgiveness, then something like that happens and it's "get out of town, ya worthless waste of humanity".

My definition of Christiantiy states that there is in fact no such thing as a worthless human being.  That's the real test of faith. God's easy. :)

Funny if you turn it around - could 3 weeks of intensive therapy make a straight man gay?

I'm guessing no.

I agree with you if the people involved want to be forgiven. The preacher in question didn't, and instead basically left his family to marry this other woman he was having an affair with. The son was left to basically hold his own with no father, and I'm sure his mother lost her trust in men and the church for a while if not ever. Sin has consequences, and they affect others around you as much as yourself in a lot of cases. Do we judge him and say he's a tossaway human being? No, but you don't make "right" the situation by marrying the woman you were having an affair with. At some point you have to own up to the fact you've done something horribly wrong to the people you were supposed to protect, and you have to make amends and reject your sins for forgiveness.

Your religion makes my head assplode.

http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/haggard_scared_straight (http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/haggard_scared_straight)

Or maybe if your religion had been more forgiving of him and accepted the fact that the 'new' woman made him (and her, she's a person too) happy the boy could have still held a good relationship with his father and the mom would have been able to move on to someone who appreciated her without the stigma of being a spurned woman ruining her life.  Because then, you know everyone might have been ok.

Whatever.

That may be the funniest thing the Onion has ever written. OMG.

I won't go into the point much further but not many groups accept extramarital affairs like that in their leaders without repercussions, churches or not. Also, the conclusion that everyone would be better off internally in the family is a stretch. Wounds like that don't heal well or easily without a lot of repentance. What you suggest is not accepting that you did something wrong, that's rationalizing it. If marriage holds so little value for the people (ie. oh well just do what makes you happy), it's just another moral slide I'm glad the church is trying to rally against.

Yeah, it's not the worldly view, and yeah it's tougher. However, I think the congregation would have been a lot more forgiving if he'd said, "I'm sorry, I messed up, please forgive me," just once. But instead we get the new American way of thinking that nothing is my fault, and I can rationalize all my problems away.

Better than you made your bed now lie in it and suffer for the next 50 years, old way of thinking.

Marriage is fine institution, very noble, but when it's an untenable relationship it's a damned miserable experience.  Has zero to do with rationalizing away responsibility and everything to do with not realizing that somethings just are mistakes and the sooner they are corrected the better everyone will be.

Totally agreed, and I'm not against divorce when two people can't make it work for the sake of sanity. I am against sleeping with someone else because you're unhappy. The rationalization isn't about the fact the relationship wasn't working. It's about the fact he was banging his secretary IN THE CHURCH, to top it off.

His wife was probably home...he couldn't very well do it there! And sex in the back of a Volkswagen isn't terribly comfortable, or so I am told.

At the risk of driving this thread to the Politics forum (which I avoid for my blood pressure's sake), my opinion is that it comes down to hating the sin while loving the sinner.  Jesus didn't say to forgive those who sin against you ONLY IF they ask for it, he said to just forgive them.


/agree.  This sounds like the definition of preemtive forgiveness to me.

On topic..  um... some people have said that the funniest word in the headline was "completely".  My favorite is "now".  "I used to be one of those homosexuals, but NOW I'm not."  See?  All it takes is some browbeating and national headlines, and he cleaned right up.

edit to quote Paelos more pertinently

It's on.

The now is funny I'll admit, but the completely is hysterical. Yes, hysterical. Why? Because it's like they don't even want to admit he was homosexual or bisexual before. No, he was just almost completely heterosexual, and that small gay part of him made him get it on with a male hooker. But it's gone now, he's passed it, like a kidney stone.

You mean well, and your points make logical sense, but you're wrong.

When regarding other believers Jesus said, "If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector."

That's a direct quote from scripture right before he says in relation to how often we should forgive, "No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!" He then goes into the parable of a man who begged for forgiveness from the king, but he wouldn't forgive a man who begged him to give him time on his debt.

The point is that you have to confess your sins before they can be forgiven by God. Man has similar steps to help lead people back into the flock. Some things, like adultery are expressly wrong, and you have to remind people about that fact. However, sometimes they don't listen to one person, a group, or an entire church. You can't accept people into the church who wish to continually sin and want to have everyone accept it. Perhaps you can forgive them, perhaps you can open your heart in the hopes for them, but you can NEVER accept that what they did had no consequences. Jesus teaches forgiveness, but it's not without consequence for actions.

Time after time, Jesus forgives people and tells them to sin no more. That's the point, you have to actually want to change. You can't just try to rationalize away your issues and never repent your sins. At it's heart, the only forgiveness that matters is between you and God, and I know from his teachings that he will never forgive you unless are repentant before him.

Assplode.

At least in the Catholic church its a deathtrap. Adultry is a sin, but also is divorce forbidden. So if you fall out of love you are shit out of luck. Loveless marriage till the end, which is ridiculous and unfair to the children as well. Thats not a healthy household to grow up in.

It was easier when the average person died around 30. It was almost guaranteed that "Til Death Us Part" wasn't THAT far away.

Maybe I'm just a cheap bastard, but one doesn't pay for gay sex if he isn't gay. It's a waste of money. What, was he trying to assfuck some guy just to decide whether he was gay or not? You don't pay a hooker for that. You pay a hooker for discretion.

Of course, this hooker wasn't a very good one, because he blew that whole discretion thing out of the water. I wonder if Haggard can get a refund.

THAT'S NOT ALL HE BLEW, EH ?  AM I RITE, HAY ?  RITE ?!!

LOL!!!!111.


 :|

See, I thought about going there, but didn't.

To quote a very old trope -- you pay the hooker to go away after.

Although I suspect that unless you are paying really well, you're not going to keep your gay meth-buddy hooker quiet when you go on TV loudly condemning him daily. You gotta pay extra for that shit.

For some reason, you seem to think that when I said forgiveness, I meant it as being equivalent to zero consequences.  I did not say that.

Yeah the more I look back on it, you were just using the original post I disagreed with in your own points. Touche.