f13.net

Fatass traps tourists in cave with her girth (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/6225301.stm).

Ok, so I am not a skinny bastard like Haemish, but how fucking fat do you have to be to BLOCK A FUCKING CAVE?

My guess is 3 bills easy. Judging by how many people told her not to do it, she's probably the type of hugely fat chick who hates it when people try to tell her that her weight is a problem. Guess what chica, once you've blocked a cave, you have officially graduated to the level where only the highest eschelon of morons can continue to live in denial about their own fat ass.

It was probably a particularly narrow gap in a cave, but still, she lacked the wisdom to realize that she couldn't get through it. 

That story would have been so much better with a picture of the obstruction in progress.

If this chair (http://news.yahoo.com/photo/061219/ids_photos_ts/r3739968269.jpg) were a cave she wouldn't make it.

Did someone move this? I swear I started it in Useless News...could just be residual effects from my raucous rockin' New Year's Eve.

I'll bet good money that's an American waiting in Heathrow.

Saved!

For some reason this reminds me of the exit in Upper Guk which was just wide enough to fit a fatty (Ogre) through and in the early days of EQ on my server saw usage as a griefing tactic.

Mooooo...

Yaaaagdsgsdf.

I could eat pizza every meal for three months and I wouldn't have an ass like that. 

/backontopic
I've got a normal athletic build and I've been through parts of touristy caves where I baaarely fit.  She wasn't necessarily a whale.   

Don't worry, the UK is doing it's best to catch up (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/1170787.stm).

Whoa.

I've actually been to that very cave system several years ago. They don't take you down the really narrow parts for the normal tour (which is what I did due to time constraints), so she had to have signed up for the expensive go-everywhere tour. The normal part is very open, kind of like going to any cavern system set up for tourists.

I don't remember specifically how tight the smaller parts were, but I recall something about the smaller ones being something like a 17" clearance. Or maybe it was 170 meters long. It's been a while.

England.  Here we die before we get too fat.

This story would have been so much better if it ended in cannibalism like the monsters in that movie the Descent.

As somebody whose new years resolution is to lose 40-60 pounds (a resolution I expect will take at least 2 years) this is great news to me.  In failing that goal, I'd be kicking the bucket at 65 instead of 74ish.

I don't think I'm in danger of blocking any caves though.  The lady in question was probably morbidly obese.  Also, unlike me, she apparently didn't have claustrophobia.  She might now, though!

In any case, the world's sweet tooth is beginning to catch up to it.  A lot of it probably has to do with our more sedentary activities (like sitting on a computer all day).  We should come up with better food technology to combat this.

Couldn't find a picture of the "Tunnel of Love" that she was caught in, but it was probably something like this (http://www.cangocaves.co.za/tours/images/adv2.htm).

I find it vaguely unsettling that the cave she got stuck in was the Tunnel of Love.

It wasn't a cave obstruction, it was a birth complication.