f13.net

http://www.kcra.com/holidays/10467838/detail.html (http://www.kcra.com/holidays/10467838/detail.html)


A few really big things jump out at me about this article. One, a mother wants her 12 year old arrested for opening a gift. Two, the mother in question is 27, meaning she was only 15 when she had this kid. And probably the most disturbing of them all, the great-grandmother is 63. Notice I said great, as in three generations ahead of this 12 year old child. Simple math tells us that this elderly woman was a great-grandmother at the old age of 51, and a simple grandmother at the tender age of 36. Seriously, a 36 year old grandmother. My mind boggles.

I had a great grandmother until I was 5, I think she was 92.

I didn't know my great grandmother. My dad is relatively old compared to other parents (I'm 29, he's 66). Grandmother just died, she was in her late 80's.

Anyways....

I don't know. I'm finding myself uncharacteristically thinking that such odd behavior might be a good thing for this kid. Even if the cops feel it's a joke themselves, it could do some good to scare the little brat by spending some time in a jail cell. Make him feel like he's in real deep shit, even though he probably isn't.

It's better than beating him at least.......Which is what my parents would have done. Heh.

On the other hand, it's a totally insane to do, and reeks of parental incompetence on a staggering level. She can't expect the police to do her job.....Even if the idea is kind of appealing.

Yeah, love my state.  Anyway, I think they key part of the article was this:


They're poking fun with the title, but it doesn't sound like this kid is someone you want to meet.  I doubt it's as much her wanting the cops to do her job for her, but her trying to do something to get some sense into him before they *will* do her job for her and haul his ass away for real. 

Didn't we have a story in here about a parent who arrested the son to 'teach him a lesson' and he got shanked in the pen ?

That was a giggle.

Yes, as per usual though there's no mention of a father or father figure at all in this story on any front. It's pretty obvious by the age alone that this is a single mother. Want to take a bet on how many of the three women involved in this issue: mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother were single mothers? History repeating itself and all that. It just doesn't work well for raising well-adjusted children, especially males.

Are you saying that single parenthood is hard, or that women are somehow inadequate? It sounds like the latter, but before you get flamed to a cinder, I figure I'd offer you an opportunity to clarify.

Only at parenting?

What it sounds like is this family has an inherited condition called teh stupids.

I'll start the flames. In the name of my single mother who busted her ass to raise me properly: fuck off, monkey boy. You don't need a penis+vagina to raise a well-adjusted kid, no matter what religion may tell you. You need nurturing people of any combination. I thought better of you, Paelos.

Thats the spirit! On other hand you are significantly undermining your own argument by presenting yourself as an example of well-adjusted individual.

Ok, poking fun at Sky/Engels aside. It is not a causation relationship, being single mother does not necessary mean bad parent. It is correlation - among single mothers bad parenting much more prevalent than in 'traditional families'. Additionally there is much to be said about 'gender appropriate model', if you read TFA it mentions single *male* kid in a household with multiple females.

Indeed.  Someone who calls the cops when little Timmy finds his christmas presents early probably isn't the kind of person who is nurturing and busts their ass. 

You don't call the cops on family members, not if you have anything resembling a functional family. 


That is pretty f'ed up.

"Did you take a cookie out of the jar, Timmy?"
"No mom."
"Really?  Let's see how that story holds up downtown."



On a different note, this is why you don't give children Christmas presents three weeks early.  Even good kids have trouble being disciplined enough to resist temptation.

It's not uncommon -- according to the officers I've talked to -- for kids to get arrested for car theft for taking the family car. Most of the time the parents actually thought it was stolen, the kid spends a few hours in jail until it's straightened out. A few parents know the kid has the car and deliberately reports it stolen, and the police find that a real pain in the ass unless the kid already has something of a record. (In those cases, they're happy to make life fucking miserable for the kid in the fond hopes that he'll act right just to avoid the cops).

Obviously this is a little beyond that.

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v21/sun_sea_sand/rofl%20laughs/rofl-doggie.jpg)

Nice try, but I'm not the fundy nutball you think I am. I'm saying single parent (male or female), doesn't trump two parents (in any combination of genders). The idea is purely economical and logical. Two can carry the substantial burden of child rearing better than one in simple terms. Two men living together doesn't make me feel icky, and I really could care less as long as children who would otherwise have no love find it somewhere. My personal beliefs of morality don't trump the logic of a necessary family unit. So to you, I politely say, fuck off as well.

I do think males in society need male figures, otherwise they search for them. I think this has been a problem where I live in Atlanta, a highly black cultural city, where the men are being raised by combinations of mostly women. Where are these young boys going to find male role models? Brothers? Gangs? Teachers? Who is the mentor for telling you how the real man acts when the "real man" left? In the Atlanta metro area, single mother families are more prevelevent than married couple families with kids. http://atlanta.areaconnect.com/statistics.htm (http://atlanta.areaconnect.com/statistics.htm).

It's not impossible to raise a well-adjusted child in a single parent home at all. It's hard as shit though, and there is a correlation to the trends repeating themselves when that happens.

I notice you guys are mostly harping on her parenting skills and how much of an over-reaction it was to call the cops but still, the most important part of the whole story was the end:


The kid has issues and they sound like they're getting worse. Basically, she's taking the scared straight route with him and reading between the lines I think the Christmas present thing was basically the straw that broke the camel's back.


It's not like the kid opened it and was sitting on the couch playing. He totally disregarded her wishes that it remain unopened and then lied about where it was. Combine that with his other behavior and what I get from this story is a mother that has clued in to the possibility that unless she takes drastic action her son's life is going to be one of crime and violence. She's trying to stop the kid, I don't think he respects her or any other member of the household and she probably feels overwhelmed. Doing it now, when he's 12, is better than waiting until he is in his teens.

Of course, the only real lesson the kid has learned is that when he gets arrested by cops it's not really a big deal to him and he gets lots of attention.

The trouble I have with a lot of Useless News posts is that they lack a certain level of detail.

Maybe said 12 year old was a genuinely nasty juvenile delinquent for whom a visit by the cops was fully deserved.

Or, as I'm sure the mom would say, "You'd understand if you were his mother!"

Maybe reading the article wasn't enough.  Nor was blocking it off the first time I quoted it.


He's a juvenile, so records can't be checked, leaving little way to verify her statement.  Without reason to think she'd lie about such detail, it seems he is a genuinely nasty juvenile.  And this is at twelve years old.

Twelve and thinking it's ok to hit a cop? Cop Beatdown: Taser Edition V.12 years old!

Yeah, he's 12. That's still in the age gap where you can take all their shit away to teach them a lesson. Granted I never punched a cop, but my big punishment was taking away every gaming console in the house when i was a kid. Also, we were never allowed TV's in our rooms as kids, just books. I liked that one looking back. If I wanted to get away from the annoying issues with my parents I had to entertain myself with reading or nothing.

Remember, kids don't have rights, you can search their rooms. Don't treat them like adults!  :evil:

I don't want to go too far second guessing the mother because I don't know the history, but yeah, hopefully she's already gone down the road of grounding/punnishment.  My initial reaction was in wondering why a kid like this needs to get a game system anyway.  Opened it early, and it's an indication of a deeper issue?  Ok, it goes back to the store.  You really do get a lump of coal this year. 

Then again, my sister was a serious hellion, but still didn't and wouldn't have hit a cop. 

No TV's in rooms Paelos? Heh, that's a far stretch that what we should be talking about here.

This kid needs some shaking up, for sure, but he doesn't need to be Amish either.


I should admit one thing about myself though... I stole my dad's truck at around 14, and then to top it off, pulled a prank by having one of my friends point a capgun outside the window at another group of friends in front of a supermarket. They didn't realize it was us, and they, along with the whole parking lot went into a panic. Almost immediately, the cops were out on a hunt for me. I ended up getting surrounded, gave up, etc..

Long story short, my dad left me in jail. It was a good thing in retrospect. I had been let off the hook for worst things prior to that.

Shit, I'm 32 and I still haven't (and hopefully never will) gotten around to even being a father.

As to this mother...  Maybe if she weren't ghetto trash (and her preceding forebears) her kid would have a chance, but as it is, nope.  This kid will end up in a penitentiary and probably spend most of his life there.  Furthermore, parents need to discipline their kids not with "time outs" and other mamby pampby bullshit, but with ass whoopings.  Act like a jackass in the supermarket?  My mother had no compunction about whooping my little ass and embarrassing the holy hell out of me in public.  Later on when I was too big for my mother Dad was always around to scare the shit out of me.

Parenting is about love and a healthy dose of fear.  We're fucking up our children by ignoring that last part.

So uh...Stray....WTF were you thinking? I don't know how you even conceive some of the shit you've done when you were young.

I had the truck, heard some friends were at a nearby store.....Happened to have this cap gun on me. 2+2 = Fun

And y'know, it was fun for a second there.  :-P It was hilarious seeing my buddies run like a bunch of little girls.

Wasn't so fun having a real gun pointed at my head though. Makes me shudder when I think "what if one of those cops got nervous" and just pulled the trigger. That shit happens all the time. Wasn't fun sitting on a rubber bed that stank of piss. Wasn't fun having to do community service for a year (at a dog murdering pound of all places).

I'm curious as to how the notion that stealing your parents' truck (probably without their consent or a license) pops into your head as being a good idea.

Oh, that part.

Yeah, that's completely stupid. I was a fucked up kid. I took my parents' cars a lot. What can I say? And I'm not bragging here (please don't mistake me), but I did far worse than that. Like, being involved with real guns and real assaults.

So it's kind of funny that my most dramatic encounter with police was due to a cap gun.

I should also point out that my back looks like the back of Jesus. I don't think physical punishment really taught me the value of things, people, and the future very much. There are better ways to open the eyes of a kid (authortarian and otherwise).

There could be some good things about a little physical reinforcement, of course, but when people "cherish" the idea, and value fear and dread, I like to say that they're full of shit. More than likely, you'll just create a hard ass, a menace, or both.

[edit] Yeah, I just offered up myself as anecdotal evidence to counter "R. Lee Ermey's Rules for Parenting" (read: Big Gulp).  :evil:

I'm not saying it works 100% of the time, my brother is walking, talking evidence of that.  A complete hellion who got the same discipline I did, but he just had a compulsion to get caught.  We pulled the same bullshit, but I covered my tracks.  I am saying that a healthy respect (or fear, whichever you prefer) can go a long way to making a kid think, "Is doing this really worth my old man using his ninja-belt wielding skills against me"?  And my old man had one of those funky 1970's era wide, thick leather belts.  Not fun.

Fair enough. I had a reverse situation. My brother wasn't much of a fuckup, I guess (well...kinda.....hmm....no, I won't get into that).

When you put it that way though, yeah, it makes a little more sense.

Have you ever considered that perhaps your father was into BSM and enjoyed spanking you with that belt? Maybe your mother too, while you boys were away at the scouts camp.

Why are you trying to get banned by posting stupid offensive shit in the middle of the night in random threads?

(http://parkwayreststop.blogspot.com/booze.jpg)

I guess this is your take on drunk dialing?

I think the worst part is that this kid is getting a Gameboy Advance as a Christmas gift in 2006.

It's fun enough. Some people need to spare all the money they can.

Actually, the worst part about getting punished by my dad wasn't being smacked with the belt.  It was being made to go get said belt from my parents room so he could administer the beating.  I think the anticipation of being punished was meaner.

My brothers and I were all spanked as children.  We'd start crying and raising a fuss inside a store and wouldn't settle down?  Mom gave us a reason to be making noise.  Of course, my dad went overboard with my middle brother a few times (as in, put a body sized hole in the hallway wall once from pushing my brother into it), but then again, this brother moved out at 18 and never looked back either.  He was the problem child of the family.

I think back and while I thought we were all horribly abused when I was a child (dad's so mean and all that), I can't really find anything wrong with my childhood and being punished.  We learned there were consequences to our actions and we'd sometimes have to pay the price.  Hell, I used to enjoy shoplifting small items like jewelry from the local Woolworth's after school (Catholic school with mean nuns at that).  Luckily I never got caught.  But the kid in this story is 12 already, it's almost too late now to try to turn him around, especially if he's already got a history like that.  She missed out on disciplining him when he was younger.
 
Of course, there is also the revenge aspect of it too when you get older.  Like the last time my mom ever took me and my youngest brother grocery shopping with her during the holidays.  I was home from college (freshman/sophmore year I think) and my youngest bro was in high school.  Crowded store, Saturday morning (hell in itself) and some other lady was there with her two kids, boy about 10ish, younger girl.  The boy was being a whiney brat and we just watched this going on while shopping.  Then my bro and I started imitating the kid, and when we came upon the Nestle Quik with the Go-Bots special offer (hey, it was the 80s), we really got into it.  Imagine having your two kids, college age and high school age, trailing you through the aisles of the grocery store going "Mommy, mommy!  I want Gooooo-Bots!  Mommy!  Can I have some Goooo-Bots!"   Repeatedly.  In loud and extremely whiney voices.  Throughout the rest of the whole store. 

Revenge is sweet.  Although, my mom does still threaten us with her wooden spoons.

My mom was the mean one (she grew up fighting snakes in the sticks...Thailand...I can't really blame her that much). My Dad, the GI, was tame in comparison.

I think the only reason my brother didn't turn out bad was because he had an outlet for frustration (me). I had to find other ways.

In the end, I resent him more than I do my parents. I get along with my parents greatly these days actually.

I hear total assholes make bad parents also.

Its all hump and dump for me, so chances somebody nice like you will be rising my kids. You will do good job, I'm not worried.

Wake up, Sinij, it's time to go to school...

(http://www.tintagelweb.co.uk/images/Tintagel%20Photos/1977Primary%20School.jpg)
Bottom row, second from the right ?

Fuck.  I wrote that thinking "Hm, maybe I should point out in the post that it's a joke with an intentionally callous and arrogant tone.  But then that would ruin the humor.  Besides, this is f13, they should get it."

Dammit, Stray.

I often run into that misunderstanding when I joke about Columbine. They were always talking about how those kids were always playing Doom and I made a joke about them being pissed they had such shitty computers they could only play Doom.

Now see, I get that stuff. But then, sarcasm is kind of my thing.

Unfortunately, sarcasm tends to either annoy, or pass over the head, of most people.  :|

You rang ?

Sorry 'bout that Llava.

I've known plenty of people who think that way though. It was hard to tell you were joking.

Agreed, but green ruins the funny now.  :-(

But I'm a very reasonable person, so if I post something that sounds entirely unreasonable, chances are I'm joking.  Unless I'm not.  Try reading it both ways and see which rings truer.  Out loud.

Me and my friends were real ass holes when were younger, there's nobody I know of which I hang/hanged out with which I can think of being physically abused by their parents. Is this sort of stuff common in the states? I'm under the impression that it's at least very rare in Sweden.

Asshole is a state of mind and life-long pursuit.

It's more common (in the US) than the media cares to acknowledge.