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Title: Soccer Moms in Deadwood Post by: voodoolily on September 12, 2006, 09:37:06 AM McSweeney's today cracked my shit up. (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2006/9/12roy.html)
Quote AN OVERHEARD CONVERSATION AT THE SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD POOL, IF THE SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD POOL WERE IN DEADWOOD. BY KARI ANNE ROY - - - - MOM 1: Fucking Homeowners Association cocksuckers. Are they so slow in the ass-fucking cerebrum as to not allow a goddamned simple, commonplace, gullet-pleasing peanut-fucking-butter sandwich on the premises of their fucking pool patio? MOM 2: Fucking power-hungry vulturine twats is what they are, that Homeowners Association you speak of. MOM 1: I mean, fuck me if I'm gonna take the three angelic fucking spawn of my hooch and force them to hunker their tiny selves down in the back of the sweltering cocksucking Odyssey just to masticate a PB&J and imbibe some goddamned Mott's. Fuck. MOM 2: Want I should write a letter to the HOA fuckers and invite them to a civil fucking sit-down where we can discuss this fucking asinine and irritating issue face to face? MOM 1: Fuck no. It wouldn't do any good. I doubt any of the fuckers can read. MOM2: Well, shit, Tiffany, let's just divvy up the sandwiches among our sweet fucking runts and see what happens. Hunter's gone all asshole from hunger-induced madness of the brain, already. MOM 1: Indeed, Jennifer. Let's buck the fucking antiquated "system" of HOA whores trying to prevent ants and the like from invading the fucking pool area. Ants I can abso-fucking-lutely deal with. Insane children? Jesus Christ on a bike, that shit is impossible to manage. MOM 2: KIDS! FUCKING LUNCHTIME! MOM 1: DON'T FORGET TO WASH YOUR GODDAMNED HANDS! Title: Re: Soccer Moms in Deadwood Post by: WayAbvPar on September 12, 2006, 10:16:33 AM Al Swearengen is a role model for all. That reminds me- I need to purchase a knife.
Title: Re: Soccer Moms in Deadwood Post by: Dren on September 13, 2006, 06:35:19 AM I never watch Deadwood. I take it they use a lot of profanity?
Title: Re: Soccer Moms in Deadwood Post by: HaemishM on September 13, 2006, 07:51:50 AM They make profanity into a gourmet meal. Then they shove it down your throat before kicking you in the nuts.
Title: Re: Soccer Moms in Deadwood Post by: Morfiend on September 13, 2006, 03:50:48 PM My mother is a nice little english lady and she absolutly loves this show. She went to one of my cousens weddings recently back in the UK, and during the reception when everyone was having dinner she casually dropped "Cocksucker". My imediat family thought it was hilarious. The rest of the people in the wedding where horrified.
Title: Re: Soccer Moms in Deadwood Post by: Yegolev on September 14, 2006, 12:10:25 PM My mother is a nice little english lady and she absolutly loves this show. She went to one of my cousens weddings recently back in the UK, and during the reception when everyone was having dinner she casually dropped "Cocksucker". My imediat family thought it was hilarious. The rest of the people in the wedding where horrified. Awesome. |