f13.net

It's almost September, yet speculation on the release date for the Wii is still as much fun as being pantsless in Tijuana.

Here's some bullshit from GameStop, albeit very interesting bullshit, sorted by release date:

10/1
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption

10/2
SpongeBob Squarepants: Subtitle
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Elebits w/bonus

10/24
GT Pro Series

10/30
Blitz: The League

10/31
Dragon Ball Z: Bukkake

11/1
Grim Adventures of B&M
Cars
Need for Speed: Carbon
Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles: The Chrystal Beavers
The Ant Bully
Tony Hawk's Enormous Wallet
Trauma Center: Second Opinion
Legend of Zelda: You Know What
Super Smash Bros.: Brawl
Red Steel
Dragon Quest Swords: Subtitle
Metal Slug Anthology
Marvel Ultimate Alliance w/bonus

11/7
Call of Duty 3 w/bonus¹

11/10
Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz

11/14
Rayman: Raving Rabbids
Happy Feet
Madden NFL 07
Far Cry
Monster Truck
Open Season
Blazing Angels: Subtitle

11/15
Super Mario Galaxy⁵

12/1
Super Mario Galaxy⁵
Wii Sports
Fire Emblem
Sonic Wildfire¹
Pilotwings
Project Hammer²
Wii Sports Airplane
Excite Truck
Rampage: Total Destruction

3/6
Medal of Honor: Airborne

3/30
Sadness
Necro-Nesia
Disaster: Day of Crisis
Meet the Robinsons
SD Gundam G Breaker Jingleheimerschmidt
Sengoku Action
Duck Hunt
Final Furlong³
Super Swing Golf Pangya
Resident Evil Wii⁴
Wii Music
WarioWare: Smooth Moves

6/30
Ping Ping

Wow, crazy.  Best Buy is somewhat more conservative:
11/3
Red Steel
Legend of Zelda: Maybe Working Title
Trauma Center: Second Opinion
Cars
Medal of Honor: Airborne
Blitz: The League
Super Smash Bros.: Brawl
Wii Sports
Super Mario Galaxy

11/16
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
Marvel Ultimate Alliance

11/17
Need for Speed: Carbon
Excite Truck
WarioWare: Smooth Moves
Tony Hawk's Enormous Wallet
Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz
Elebits
Rayman: Raving Rabbids
Sonic Wildfire¹
Dragon Quest Swords: Subtitle
Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers
Madden NFL 07
SpongeBob Squarepants: Subtitle
Metal Slug Anthology

I leave any discussion of the actual dates to the Peanut Gallery.  Fun!

¹ Lies.
² I refuse to type out all those capital letters and periods.
³ Caution: Horses.
⁴ Caution: Not Resident Evil 5.
⁵ I just report it, folks.

Judging by your Avatar and obvious interest in all things Nintendo, what are the plans for Zelda?  I remember hearing once that they will be releasing a version for the GC that looked pretty nifty and then a second for the Wii later.

What's up with that? (I seriously want to know.)

I know, the Wii Stuff thread is a mess.  It does have the stream-of-consciousness thing going so there might be a nugget in there.  Supposedly both versions will hit at the same time, but honestly I can't remember if that is still true.  Mostly because I'll be getting the Wii version and have not been paying attention.  I'll poke around and see what I can find, but any difference in release date will likely be minimal.

Is that the actual name? That's awesome.
:-o

I guess I should have mentioned that I made up some of the names.  It's just too easy, and some of these are huge.  Also, the first time I saw Crysal Bearers it looked like Crystal Beavers, and I suddenly turned into Leslie Nielsen.

What?

Your made up titles are so witty!

Does Excite Truck sound like the dumbest name ever to anyone besides me? Hell, the premise is stupid.

I don't know what Necro-Nesia is, other than another badly-named survival-horror game, but it's listed on the ElectrogameStoppique site.  E3 hands-on at GameSpit:
http://www.gamespot.com/wii/action/necronesia/news.html?sid=6150629&mode=previews

The full name of the second one is "Disney's Meet the Robinsons", presumably a movie tie-in.  Move along.

I didn't make up any entire entries, I just modified names of real titles.  I figured no one gave a shit what the next Tony Hawk subtitle is, so I spiced it up a bit.  This is supposed to be a fiesta, you know.

Excite Truck is obviously the sequel to Excite Bike, which doesn't make it less dumb.  They should have just recycled Excite Bike since you really can't change the rotational speed of a truck while flying through the air.

Sadly, no.  Spongebob is funny, but not game-funny.  The real subtitle is "Creature From The Krusty Krab", and that's a lot of typing.  It seems to be a sort of 3D over-the-shoulder shootemup, maybe a 3D R-Type, except of course not as cool.

Necro-nesia is from Spike. They recently did a game I really enjoyed, Shinobido. Which is coming out here with the same name I believe - it has deadly sushi in it. Also, they're making Way of the Samurai Online, which should be good stuff as it's for the 360. This would be the first survival horror they've made though, so we'll see how it goes.

Shinobido sounds like it involves horny ninja.

I can not confirm or deny that.