f13.net

...The Rock.

Not very excited about that.

http://www.empireonline.co.uk/site/news/newsstory.asp?news_id=15991

Lets hope Spyhunter doesnt have any problems, then maybe we wont have to see the Rock as the Doom Marine.

I never quite got the attraction for making video games into movies. I mean, a good video game provides a similar experience to watching a good, involving movie, but different. But the stories are usually interesting mostly because you are interacting with them, not necessarily because of any great narrative. The story enhances the interaction. Take the same paper-thin plots and put them in movies, and you remove what makes the stories special, the interaction. And in most cases, video game based movies suck much ass.

As for Doom, the story wasn't even paper thin... it was one badly written sentence that provided an excuse for blowing shit up. Even the Rock can't make that interesting for an hour and a half without something else in there, most of which will probably offend the fanbois of the game who thought this was a good idea.

Given the paper thin plots of your standard summer movie, DOOM might be a cinematic treat.  Particularly if The Rock blows up a LOT of stuff.

omfg. best movie evar.

we're talking about Goof Troop 3 right?

Maybe we see their version of those red floating balls that spit lightning, and the Chewbacca's that spit fireballs, and, uh, the flaming skulls.  YEAH!

I guess it depends on what they aim for.  Non-stop action with bad dialogue, and arguing about the color of keys, = bad movie.  If they go for a horror thriller with some action in it, that may end up having a plot worth viewing.

Pretty sure they'll climax the movie at the wall-demon that spits other demons and has that head on a spike inside its brain.  Maybe it'll even be in the movie, at the end.

They can probably make a better action movie out of the Quake universe, than out of Doom.  That one can at least be scifi (more believable nowadays), and can have a save humanity from aliens plot, which usually goes well with an action genre.

Am I the only one here who read the novels based on DOOM?  They weren't that bad, really.  There were 4 of them, iirc, titled after the chapters of the game.   They were written by Dafydd Ab Hugh and Brad Linaweaver.  Amazon has listings for books 1, 3, and 4... A friend of mine had all of them.

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Alkiera

I read the first two.

Number 1 was pretty bad.  Because it basically had to follow the plot of the first game, which was basically killing one thing after another, and there weren't really any other characters.   It got pretty repetitive.

Number 2 was a lot better, because the writers completely departed from the plot and basically created their own offshoot of the Doomiverse with the guy on Earth and a bunch of new characters who were part of the human resistance.  It was more interesting and actually had some creativity to it, so at least the series was going in the right direction.

Bruce

I seem to recall he somehow got hooked up with a group from the Mormon church, as they had some kind of huge underground bunker/fortress thing in Salt Lake City that had withstood the attack, and the only other major force on the north american continent was a similar bunker controlled by the IRS.

Silly, but at least somewhat interesting.  And even the parts on the moons there was eventually one additional character, some woman he'd known from a previous combat engagement and he catches up with her, they fight the evil together for awhile.

Anyhow, if they go more of that route, and less of the 'how bad can we out-F/X Doom 3' route, it might not be too bad.

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Alkiera

They should have made Ash the main character.  That would have made for a fun movie.

The Rock, Doom: oh, moot dreck.

Ash should be the main character in every movie involving a gun, chainsaw, random killing and/or any evil.

Hell, if they want me to go see Episode III in theaters, they need to put Ash in it.

So...

Doom_Movie = Total_Recall - Plot - Usable_Actors + ((Aliens + Tunnels + Big_Guns + Blood) * Shitload);

...?

Total Recall only being in the equation due the Mars thing. That is if I remember correctly that Doom happened on Mars. It's not like I give a crap if it did or not.

Actually Total Recall included aliens, tunnels, big guns, and blood.

Duke Nukem would have been a much better lead character imo. But the movie wouldn't come out in our lifetimes.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Dafydd Ab Hugh is a writing pseudonym that Peter David often uses on genre novels, so I'm not surprised if those were good.

Not like they'll actually use that plot or anything. I'm pretty sure it'll be blood, guns, tentacles and mugging.

I know Peter David.  Peter David is a friend of mine.  Dafydd Ab Hugh is not Peter David.  The rumor probably got started when Dafydd referenced one of Peter's Star Trek novels in one of his own.

If you don't believe me, believe my other friend, Lawrence Watt-Evans:
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&safe=off&selm=33536f23.32741231%40news.clark.net

Bruce

Doesn't falsify the equation, since it'll include tons more than Total Recall itself. And I think it were mutants and not aliens.

Total recall had only mutants in it. They talked about alien artifacts. It had no big guns, kthx.

Doom trailer (http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/doom.html)

Interest FPS sequence in the movie. Might be entertaining.

Heh, yeah, I like that shot.  Plus BFG and chainsaw - classic.  Rental maybe.

Their guns had flashlights built right in, I always knew that someday the genius who invented the plasma based weapon would be able to glue one on somewhere.

The first person shots were really odd, I don't think they will work out well, might be a little surreal if viewing it on an imax screen though.

Apparently they're saying that the "demons" are created via genetic experimentation rather than by inadvertantly opening gates to Hell?  Bah.

Doom 3 and RoE actually did an okay job of fleshing out the original paper-thin story, what with the PDA logs and the Martian artifacts and the mad scientist who makes a pact with Hell - it was very engaging as B-movie plots go.  Seems a shame to toss that out and just make this a Resident Evil clone.

I think hell is still in there.
Plus the heavy-smoking announcer uses the tag line "All hell breaks loose".

I usually hate these kinds of mindless action movies but for some reason that Rock guy can make them entertaining.  I can't take him seriously, I don't think he takes himself seriously, and that makes a dumb movie watchable.

Agreed.  Plus he doesn't take himself seriously at all if you've seen interviews with him.  He admits he's an entertainer and he was there in wrestling and now movies to do just that.  He's not there to be into the 'art' or the culture, he's there to have a good time and make sure his audience does as well.  Plus, he's actually pretty damn smart and entertaining just on his own. 

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/99/99okent.phtml

Just watched the trailer.  Retarded.  Looks like exactly what I expected when I first heard "Doom movie" complete with Limp Bizkit soundtrack.

Checked the trailer... no, looks like a clone of the Resident Evil movie.  Martian archaeological digs and teleportation research weren't exciting enough hooks, so they just made it about EVIL GENETIC RESEARCH OMG like every other goddamn movie in the past five years.

I stand by my "Bah".  If you're going to make a shitty video game license movie, at least base it on the right video game.  They probably wussed out because they were afraid the religious right would boycott a movie that included "Hell" in it.

HOW DARE YOU AFFIRM OUR MYTHOLOGY!

Maybe "Hell" is just misunderstood. Bad case of global warming or something.

Satan endorses air conditioning.  'Coolant fucks up the ozone layer.

"No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater than central air."

I pretty much instantly discounted this movie the instant I read that the "demons" are now mutants.

You can't fucking call it Doom without there being demons from hell. Jesus.

Was the plot from Doom 3 too good or something?

No, but it wasn't written by a union guy, so they had to scrap it.

The first trailer I saw looked retarded. This one had a certain Uwe Boll sensibility to it. As in, it wasn't just retarded, it was actually offensive to my rational faculties. The FPS sequences were completely shitty and stupid. There's no reason, no good goddamn reason to do that. It is just as bad as adding sequences directly from the game into the movie as in "House of the Dead." It's a movie, not a video game, with its own visual vocabulary. This is the video game movie that will prove making movies based on video games is another retarded Hollywood idea.

The first thing you learn in the "Be A Movie Executive" class at the YMCA is to latch onto existing IP.  When in doubt, refer to Rule #1.

Which makes the trend of video game movies even more puzzling, considering most video game IP has the market penetration of fuckall. I mean, when a wild crazy successful video game only sells something like 1 million copies, how is that in anyway good IP for branching out into other mass market media? Comic books, even novels, I can understand. Movies, with bazillion dollar budgets? Even as a branding exercise, it just sounds retarded.

I suppose that makes perfect sense, since Hollywood is full of retarded suits anyway.

You'll note that Rule #1 does not contain the adjective "good" prefixed to "IP".  The conversation goes like this:

Uwe: Got an idea for a movie.  Durka-durr.
Suit: This better not tank like your last one.
Uwe: It's based on a classic game that has sold millions of copies.  Durka-durr.
Suit: How many blank checkbooks do you need?