f13.net

I'm sure someone has beaten me to this but I thought I'd at least post the new "trailer". 

http://www.transformersmovie.com/ (http://www.transformersmovie.com/)

New ?

It might be new to the Internet -- it's the same teaser they are showing in movie theaters at the moment.

This movie is going to bite ass. Much like the TMNT movie.

Do you enjoy stomping on peoples' nostalgic dreams?

Why do you CONSTANTLY force me to look stuff up?

They fear what would happen were you not distracted.

One day I'll kick your genitals up into your throat so your voice isn't so annoying. Just for that comment.

Go ninja, go ninja, go! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXrAqeAMyho)

Which TMNT movie ?

And, as ever, I hope you're wrong.

What makes any of you think this incarnation of the Transformers is a good idea? I mean, go back and watch the cartoon. It was great when we were little but it's total shit now. I can't even be nostalgic enough to BELIEVE it's decent.

As for the Turtles, Ironwood, they're making an all CGI thing. There's a clip floating around somewhere. But really, if they aren't going to do the prehistoric shit, they should just stay away from the franchise. The first Turtles movie - I think - is still the best superhero flick Ever Made.

Oh, and I'm so not wrong here. But I'll at least go see the Turtles movie. The Transformers thing is just gonna be balls.

Michael Bay. 

Yah, it's gonna suck.

This is going to be so, so incredibly bad.  Knowing that it's Michael Bay should be evidence enough, but that trailer pretty much secured it.

oh and the sky on "Mars" sure looks earthlike.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/teenagemutantninjaturtles/ (http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/teenagemutantninjaturtles/)


BTW, I didn't know the Transformers trailer was released, it wasn't here in my podunk town.  Sorry.  I just want to be a part of dees community and corntribute!1!!

Sigh.

Go check the TMNT thread in comics.  Then check when my reply was.  I know all about the new one and whatnot.   My question to Schild was 'which TMNT film' not 'what TMNT film'.

As to Transformers, it's well overdue and I hope for the best.

However, it's M. Bay.  It's going to suck.  Probably just as much as Pearl Harbor.  That doesn't stop me from hope.  It's the quintessential human delusion, dontcha know.


And I was asking if this was a new Transformers trailer.  It's not.  I'm fairly sure we had a thread about this too.  Or possibly that was Corp.  Who fucking knows anymore.

Forgive me, I'm not sleeping.

:nda:

I'll just send you PM's before I post any more okay IW, that way you can approve or disapprove right up front.

(http://www.kleenex.com/us/products/everyday/images/upright/M_white.jpg)

Let me save you the time :  I'll disapprove.  That's just me.

I wouldn't let it stop you posting.

Was I the only kid who didn't even really like the Transformers?

I mean, it was okay, I guess.  I had a couple toys.  But really, I never got into the show.  The guys in the Thundercats had swords, whips, nunchucks... not any pussy laser gun.

Course, rewatching Thundercats now that I'm a (mostly) adult is painful.

I was never huge into Transformers....more of a TMNT/Ghostbusters kid myself.

I still love transformers, at least the old ones.  I love them because they are something and then they're something else.  It's like magic.  I consider myself a transformer, you know. 

Gotta give props to whoever wrote that first Transformers cartoon movie. I don't think I've seen any other franchise or story destroy 90% of it's characters in one hit. Wow, drama! That takes guts.

G.I. Joe only killed off Duke and Cobra Commander, I think.

Wheeljack missing half his face.  Ratchet falling backwards, full of holes, smoke pouring out his mouth. Kickback's head crushed.  Prime, cut deep and still trying to get up.  Starscream disintegrated.  Ultra Magnus pulled apart.

The Transformers Movie was the best thing ever.  It was like Overfiend for Children.

Duke didn't die. He just took a massive snake in the chest and was in the hospital until the end of the movie.  It was quite lame.

I still remember Transformers as being the first movie I heard "damn" and "shit" in.  It was awesome for a 12 year old.

From what I've heard that trailer has nothing to do with the movie when it comes to looks. That was just another teaser video.

I remember watching the transformers movie and thinking "wow, they finally figured out how to turn the safteys off!"

Even worse news.

Remember that kickass Transformers PS2 game that looked and played so great it looked more like a 360 game than a PS2 title?
Well, those developers won't be doing the game for this new movie. 

Apparently Mr Bay decided to fund his own game studio so we not only can have his shitty movies, but shitty games to go along with it, as opposed to just EA Acclaiming things up.

I consider you more of a Go-Bot.

NECRO!

Keeping in mind that, if nothing else, Bay knows how to cut a fucking teaser, check this out.

http://uk.promotions.yahoo.com/transformers/ (http://uk.promotions.yahoo.com/transformers/)

Full screen doesn't work on Intel Macs, for some stupid reason.

Needs more Transformers.

I'm afraid to say that I liked the hoverbike scenes in the Island. Michael Bay has an eye for hiring good action choreographers.

Yeah, I'm still not going to give him any credit.

[EDIT]

Ah wait, Bay didn't even direct the Island. Good on me.

[EDIT]

Damn. Yeah, he did.

Because it wants to install some silly proprietary video player, even on a PC.

I didn't even play with Transformers when I was a kid.

Having said that, I'll definitely be seeing this movie. If nothing else, it will disappoint me just like every other movie I go to.

Yikes, you're depressing me. The film industry is not the game industry. There are so many great movies always coming out it's impossible to even keep up with them.

For new ones, go see the Departed or the Borat flick, for example.

I've been swimming in good games all year. What the hell are you babbling about?

Michael Bay.  This is Michael Bay.  This will suck as bad as the Godzilla movie with Matthew Brodderick.

Relatively speaking, that is. The film industry, in my mind, is terrific. US and otherwise. There's so much good stuff I don't even bother with bitching about the bad.

2006 was a good year for games though, I'll admit. It's just that my last few PC purchases have made me particularly gloomy.

Get a console or two. There's just so much out there I want to buy and want to play but reality keeps me from doing so.

Kind of like the film industry.  Lots of good stuff.  Not enough time/money/commitment to experience it all.  Same with books.  It's too easy to be entertained nowadays (for me at least). 

Best I expect out of this movie is to be entertained in the Terminator III kind of way.  There will be some interesting scenes inbetween large swathes of pure suckage.

I might sit in the movie theatre parking lot this year just to see what sort of person goes to see "Black Christmas" ON Christmas day!

I saw Borat. It was good, but not nearly as good as it was hyped to be. I never got around to seeing Departed.

I rarely go to the movies nowadays anyway....too fucking expensive for about 2 hours of Possible enjoyment. I have other things to do.

No arguments here. That's where 90% of where my fun in gaming has been the past 3 years.

Even so, and this was my only point, there are enough shitty games out there as to shape my general impression of the industry as negative. I don't view the film industry in quite the same way. There really isn't a gap in good new releases with films like there are with games. There are many slumps even during "good" gaming years.


Then again, it could be about tastes and prejudice. I can enjoy any genre of film. Mindless blockbuster action, historical drama, two people talking in a white room, even the sappiest kind of chick flicks. I don't care. Just as long as they're good on a general artistic level.

I can be biased towards some game genres though -- or even burned out on ones I like. Closing myself out could be the source of me going through so many dry periods. There could be a shitload more good games than I'm willing to admit. Who knows..


Anyways...Sorry for the rant. That's probably more than I needed to explain.

Oh God, that's awful.

Wait of them looked kinda like a red and blue truck.... yeah my nostalgia should be kicking in any minute  :roll:

Fuck Michael Bay

I tend to be very forgiving of movies, so I'll probably be going to see it either way, but... are they really trying to make Transformers into a taut, suspenseful thriller?  I seem to recall a lot less of this brooding, "Oh, my dear God," humans standing in awe as their fragile world is destroyed around them, oh the humanity, etc. etc., and more of the "Look, it's Megatron, pewpew" kind of thing when I recall the cartoon.

The cartoon was barely more than a vehicle to sell toys.  I'm guessing the movie will barely be more than a vehicle of product placement with lots of eye candy and spectacle.  Michael Bay's last movie I saw(The Island) was less than shit, so I'll probably see this should I be alive in July.

God damn this movie looks awful.

The Transformers are supposed to transform from vehicles into robots. The robot forms are supposed to look like transformed vehicles, kind of boxy and with recognizable vehicle parts. Instead these things just look like completely generic CGI robots. I mean Optimus Prime looks like a fucking truck standing upright and Soundwave looks like a tape recorder with legs. Is this really a difficult concept?

The tone of the movie looks like typical Bay schlock, it is supposed to look really dramatic but it's just Michael Bay corny bullshit. The man doesn't have a dramatic bone in his body.

It's the robot mode that's totally, totally fucking me off.  It's all organic and shitty.

There's some stuff floating around the net that shows you what the toys will look like (which, alas, shows you directly what the movie robots will look like).  It's totally, totally asstastic.  Megatron looks like he was grown in a vat.  Real 'War of The Worlds' stuff.

As pointed out, these robots SHOULD resemble the 'other' forms they take.

I think it might be a good 'robots beat the shite out of each other' movie, but it's NOT going to be Transformers.

There is only ONE Transformers movie.*  It's got celebs like Leonard Nimoy, Orson Wells, Judd Nelson and Robert Stack, a song by Weird Al and awesome robot vs robot fight scenes.  It's the ONLY Transformers movie there is, much like Highlander.

*And it's now out on a 20th anniversary DVD, whee x-mas.

Lol, Judd Nelson ;)

The Transformers cartoon is unique in that it might be the only kid's cartoon that slaughtered 90% of the characters. Mostly the good guys too.

Only when it came to the Movie.  The Movie was a bloodbath.

Yeah, I kept noticing that and thinking "maybe they aren't done transforming?" If that's their look, it's sucktistic. It's fucking Transformers. They already look cool, just make the shit look alive and you are golden.

Michael Bay really is an assclown of the highest order. He took a great first half of a movie and turned it into "Kill Boromir" while not letting Scarlett Johansen show off her jublies. The man should be flayed, or have his ball license revoked.

EDIT: Are these the toys you mean (http://www.tfw2005.com/boards/showthread.php?t=108437)? Optimus Prime with a flame job.

WHAT... THE... FUCK?

Did he suddenly turn gay along with having parts that do not look like they work together at all?

Why take a property that has dozens of recognizable, well-done character designs and change them all? I will never understand why Hollywood constantly does this sort of thing. Just make a CGI Megatron, Prime and Soundwave and call it a day. Why throw out years of what is essentially pre-production work?

Yup.  And now you've re-linked that, you'll notice they were IN the trailer looking like that.

It's gonna suck.  And that's not something I usually say...

I dont know, while nostalgia is "good" and all that, I for one am going to reserve my opinion untill after i see the movie in action to decide if I would rather have the rose coloured glasses back on or not.

I mean, yes, the cartoons had your classic, obviously recognizable figures. Optimus looks signifigantly like a semi truck who just stood up, and Soundwave looks like someone just twisted a Tape deck around like a rubix cube.  While that may have worked swimmingly for its intended audience (5 to 8 year old kids), can you HONESTLY say you would be impressed / Intimidated by a similar transformation in the modern day?

I mean, think about it.  The blocky, chunky look of most of your Cartoon Transformers was likely a DIRECT reflection of the fact that the toy tech at the time only allowed for such basic, blocky transforming toys.

I personally think the much more Fluid Robotic look of the movie figures fits what I would expect from a Highly advanced, transforming robot.

I would not be afraid of something that looks like a retarded Lego Bionicle Buttbaby.  Disgusted, yeah.  Frightened?  Not so much.

Exactly.

Needs more pewpew and Stan Bush, less awe and Bionicle.  I want Transformers who look at least vaguely like the Transformers, kicking the shit out each other to a noisy rock score.

Jings (http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/transformers.html)

Normally you bring relevant topics to my attention.  What gives?

Eh ?

The rationalizations quoted for making Bumblebee into a Camaro instead of a Beetle are so transparent.

Why can't people in the movie industry just say outright that "Company X paid us a bunch of money to use only their products, so we had to change the entire concept of x/y/z to fit into their idea of which of their products they want advertised".

And ya, this movie will most likely suck, but I will probably still see it based on nostalgia alone.

From the official movie (http://www.transformersmovie.com/main.html) site (news dated 20-Feb-2007)




So pretty much wearing their hearts on their sleeves about this - Transformers is, as we all knew, a marketing oppurtunity for GM. 

I'm off to eventize something.

^^^ While it is a GM marketing joyride, Bumblebee isn't allowed to be a VW Bug because VW are assholes and haven't let Hasbro or Takara make him into a Bug for some anti war toy bullshit reason or another.

Its why we never got an Alternators Bumblebee while many other car makers were happy to let Hasbro and Takara make stupidly detailed (and annoying to transform!) 1/24 scale cars.  Jeep, Toyota (Scion), Mazda, Ford, Chevy, Jaguar, Subaru...  but no V Dub.  Because they suck.  Germany: Stupid about videogames and about war toys.  Ruining fun via guilt complex!

Shame.  I always liked the vague irony of one of the most popular icons of 80s pop culture being a heroic robot, fighting the good fight, who could transform into a car originally built by Porsche and designed by one Herr A. Hitler.

At risk of being ported to Politics, I'm going to point out that at least the Germans have a reason to have a war complex. There are some countries that manage to have (just for example) a nipple complex without any historical justfication whatsoever.


Different folks are hypersensitive about different crap, it's probably democracy or some shit.


Personally I'm more disappointed about how the nipple complex has affected previous Micheal Bay films than about how Germany's war complex is going to affect Transformers (See Haemish's earlier point).

That new trailer looks like this might be a fun movie to go see. We'll see.

I might think so except for Michael Bay.  I like Van Helsing, though, so it's not outside the realm of possibility but I still remember how The Island worked out.

I liked Van Helsing, too, but not because it was cinematic art.  It was definately a popcorn flick.

Oh right, it's not Citizen Kane or Unforgiven by any means, but it is head-and-shoulders above The Island.

Um.  They were both shite.

Shitey shite McShite.

Join me next week on Film 2007 for further in depth reviews.

I have to agree with the Scot, Van Helsing was vomit inducing terrible.  It was like some sort of monster movie madlib filled in by a complete retard.  I can only imagine the discussion that preempted greenlighting that disaster.

Producer: Ok, my 11 year old son thinks it would be totally "sweet" if we could somehow get Dracula, Frankenstein, and a werewolf in the same movie.  Make it happen people. Consider that a double-dog dare.   And get that chick from Underworld in it.  I want her in a corset!

Edit: You are aware, however, that Michael Bay did not direct Van Helsing.

My hope for the film is that Spielberg was able to reign him in enough to make it at least decent.

Big Robots hitting each other.  How can he possibly fuck it up ?

Just expand the trailer another hour and you're golden.

(Yeah, yeah, I know, but leave me alone.  I can hope, can't I ?)

(http://imagesource.art.com/images/-/Abbott-And-Costello-Photograph-C10103908.jpeg)

  Your wish is my google.  (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0040068/)

Just on the violence. The Transformers all carry Walkie-Talkies instead of guns now    All humans are seen running away from explosions or jumping out with parachutes if they're flying.  :-P

I have no dobuts of the suckitude of this movie.

He gets a lot of well-deserved crap for that, but I think that was a special case with ET.  Spielberg has made plenty of violent and bloody movies the last 10 years.

Nonsense, that Schindlers List thingy was a laugh riot with Carebears and prancing Unicorns.

You are talking about someone that couldn't improve upon a idea stolen from an MST3K (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0655438/) episode.

And what age group were those aimed at?  IF TF is aimed at 20+ year-olds, ok then.  If not, then expect lots of explosions, but care taken to show that everyone's A-ok at the end.

Really, though, the guns thing still pisses me off more than enough.

Ya, it was the dude that directed/wrote the Mummy flicks.

In his defense, Micahel Bay did have 1 movie that was passable: The Rock.

But overall his movies are pretty much warmed over dog feces.

But the color in Armageddon was devine. I'd actually buy it if it was available on HD-DVD because it would be the perfect film to show off the greatness of the format.

You are saying that would, in fact, be a terrible movie?  You didn't like Freddy vs Jason, either, did you?  Someone said that Van Helsing wasn't realistic at all, to which my wife responded "Unlike any other movie with vampires, werewolves and Frankenstein's monster?"  I mean, really, just take off the monocle and top hat every now and then and have fun.  It was a ridiculous yet fun movie.  And it was better than The Island.

I know it wasn't Bay who did Van Helsing, but I do like to point out that he is directing Transformers because apparently many of you don't seem to understand what that means.  I predict there will be a highway chase scene where something heavy falls off of a semi and destroys many vehicles.  I would also predict PRODUCT PLACEMENT, but I like to think that would be a given.  I have not checked, but is Buscemi in this one?

Van Helsing would have been a much better movie if Kate Beckinsale was wearing a different top.

'

QFT. Van Helsing causes sterility in lab squirrels in even the smallest doses. It was a great (if campy) concept that was completely and utterly ruined by shitty acting, shitty CGI, shitty directing and general shittiness.

I'd have more fun if it weren't such a crappy movie.   :-D   Crappy movie that never rose above a crappy concept.  All that's my point really (I'm not advocating the realism aspect just to be clear). 

To watch Freddy v. Jason, I'd have to be able to stomach either of the franchises.  Just not a big horror movie fan (being a giant wuss when it comes to slasher flick gore doesn't help), save some that cross over on their actual movie merits.

Or no top at all.

There was a Decepticon who tore through a bus during a highway chase in the trailer.  Does that count?

Will somebody just please explain to me how my Beast Wars (Skorpinox) got mixed in with my regular Transformers?

Also the robots look cool as long as at least 66% of the movie has robots on the screen not a bunch of humans doing human shit I'll be satisfied.  Also Bay is a fucking dickhead.

Van Hellsing sucked balls but I get what Yegolev is saying.  Movies are hardly ever art, that isn't a fucking crime.  There are movies that are fun even if they are stupid and there are lots of 'splodey parts and shiney things (and boobies!).  This is not a bad thing.  People around here tend to be way too art faggy when it comes to cinema.

I am not so much art faggy about cinema as I am short on free time. I hate wasting it on something crappy. Like Van Helsing. I watched the first 5 minutes and turned it off. God it was bad.

I couldn't take my eyes off it. I kept thinking the red splotches on her blouse were her nipples...

I'm about the least art faggy you can find.  Fuck, I liked the new SW movies and Starship Troopers for Jebus' sake.  However Van Helsing pained me for some reason.  It takes a REALLY bad movie to make me wince, but that one did.  I still don't recall why, exactly.   But hey, if he enjoys it more power to him.

As to Scorpy, he was a late-era Transformer. (http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0704/)   Actually a Headmaster, but still early enough to not be purely "Beast Wars."  Plus he was a triple-changer to boot, ooooh, ahhh.

I think with Scorponok, he might be the new ravage, in that we're seeing his robot form there - he's a scorpion.  Christ knows what his other form is.  A Black and Decker Belt Sander or something...

A godawful robot (http://www.amazon.com/Hasbro-81105-Transformers-Deluxe-Scorponok/dp/B000M69MB0/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-9357123-1156944?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games&qid=1180107507&sr=8-1)

That's asbsolute wank.

What the fuck is that supposed to be? How would it even turn around?

The thing I don't get, is that they are super-concerned about not making the transformations change the physical scale of the robots in relation to the cars because they think it is too much for their audience to believe.

Hello! Their audience all grew up with a Walther p38 and a ghetto blaster turning into 15 foot tall robots, the audience would not bat an eye at that. So instead they made Megatron a stealth bomber, does that mean he is 3x the size of Optimus? My bet is that he won't be.

Not to mention that you already are suspending disbelief with the whole "alien robots turn into autmobiles" thing.

Machines with advanced AI isn't a hard concept.  Machines which change in mass and volume is. 

Mass changing is a problem (as if you could even tell in a movie), but volume is not.

I did Not Like the Transformers trailer.

Starscream alone makes it must watch, jets that turn into robots is just fucking cool stop being wet blanket douchebags I haven't been interested in a summer movie since Independence Day (prob not true but you  get my point).

I'll probably wait for the animated gifs. Going to moves is a CHORE.

I actually agree...I was never a transformers fan until I saw the first movie, and basically said 'Wtf?, is it always mass death with good & bad guys getting their asses blown off everywhere? Maybe I should watch a few more episodes..."

But yeah, the new movie's story direction will likely suck under Bay, but at least the special effects and battles/action may be worth watching on video (or perhaps even the big screen if Im bored enough).

Starship Troopers is the best worst acting movie Ive seen! In terms of entertainment value, it produces.....  :mrgreen: :wink:

I know this sounds weird, but if they had killed Denise Richards and let the blond girl with the nice tits survive Starship Troopers would have been 100% better IMO.

If you are referring to Dina Meyers, she was more of a redhead. And she was indeed smoking hot.

I love, love, love Starship Troopers, but that is only because I am both a Verhoeven fanboy and found Heinlein's version exceptionally tedious.

I concur.

No, you're 100% right.  Of course, the movie plays out like a 50's serial, so it was predestined that Diz would die and Carmen would wind up with Rico, despite being a horrible backstabbing bitch the entire film.

Being a Verhoven movie though you would have expected him (at that time having the most blatantly obvious breast fetish in filmmaking behind Russ Meyer) to make her take off her top.

Denise Richards playing on the skins team THEN dying would have made it 150% better.

That was really the thing that annoyed me the most about the movie, the whole movie is spent with her being so close to a reason to give the audience some gratuitous boobage then moves on. At the end I could not fathom how Verhoven could have not managed to put her topless in the film, it is like his damn calling card.

At that time she was very adamant about not being topless to further her carreer, since it was her first major film role.  I remember it being mentioned, because it was so odd that she was the only female you didn't do it for the film.  It also seems out of sorts that her next role was fucking Wild Things if that was her logic.  Then again, she's got 'crazy eyes' so YOU try and follow the logic.

Winner.

trailers are bad. they lack that...music or something to push it. if they even tried to remix the transformers theme i'd be a little bit hyped about it.
but all these explosions and bunch of running humans hardly excites me for a robot movie.

and i can't get over the fact the robot doesn't look that 'identifiable'

See, and that's why I can hardly stand to rewatch the movie even though I really dig on the not so subtle subtext of it all. (Especially considering the current political climate.) Dina Meyer's (thanks Abragado) character was 100X more interesting and likeable than Denise Richards. I mean, she joined the army because she was in love with Rico for god's sake! Denise Richards couldn't wait to fuck that other dude. When they crashed and the mother bug came out I was praying it would suck her brain out like it did to that dude. But no, Diz dies and Denise Richards lives.

Ruined the fucking movie. IMO, Denise Richards needed to disappear from the movie after they graduated high school and Dina Meyers needed to live.

Nope.  Redheaded tits needed to die because otherwise how could you tell that WAR IS BAD.

 :roll:

Her death was worth it just for so how gloriously over the top it was.

Isn't she dating David Spade now or something?  Isn't that punishment enough?

Did you want the mother bug to starve to death?

The Spaceships in ST were awesome tho.  Big fuck off Katana fleet type Dreadnaughts.

I loved 'em.

I just wanted to see them having a real space battle.

I seem to recall some people making disparaging remarks about the size or shape of her areola in this movie. I will agree though - she is a very attractive girl.

Let them drool over that worthless Denise Richards then.

Big Robots Fighting (http://www.virb.com/michaelbay/videos/13983) (in poor resolution Flash)

Needs much more pewpew.

And less rollerblading robots?

I can already see their next incarnation: "Transformers on Ice"

It's funny until you realize someone already beat Michael Fucking Bay to it.  And did it better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7d_9ltKR5Y

I'd totally forgotten about that advert.  There's another one with a dancing Transformer too somewhere (CBA2G)

EDIT: Yugoslavian Dancing Transformer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZmRWyRX3UI)

Dancing Citroen C4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4ckJFNkra8)

Dancing Citroen 2CV (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uDjH_LlJaY)

This is how the movie should have looked:

(http://www.risestudio.com/javier/devastator.jpg)
 (http://www.risestudio.com/javier/devastator.jpg)

This is 3-4 years old. I assume someone already posted it. (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9037940286700388608) But there it is again.

Does doing the robot count as breaking if you actually are a robot?

Hells yeah.

The movie's overdesigned globs-of-junk-in-humanoid-shape look terrible. It doesn't fucking matter whether or not the designs could actually transform - what matters is that they look like they could punch a mountain in space.

I got sent a link to the theme song for the movie.

It is horrid.

The only thing I can compare it to is the piece of crap Bond theme that Madonna did for the last Brosnan flick (whatever the hell the name of it was).

Die Another Day.  The Worst Bond Song and (IMO) the worst song ever.

You make me sad.

It is similar with the whole spoken half rappy kind of shit. Plus it has a really bad pseudo-thrash metal cyberpunk instrumental portion.

What ever happened to using simple orchestral theme songs or having a non-movie specific theme song anyway?

It'd be hard to top Lion's Transformers theme anyway.. but that sounds like they didn't even try. 

So far the 'this is going to be crap' prediction seems to be holding. I don't think I'll even Netflix this shit.

The novelization wasn't that bad actually.  Its popcorn movie though.  Lots of semifunny jokes and general dumb movie stuff.
But its got big fuckin robots kllling shit.

I just finished the first issue of the Transformers comic book movie adaptation. If the comic's story and dialogue is anything like the movie it's adapted from, it's going to blow such violent chunks that the back of the theater will be awash in bile.

The back of the theater will be the safest spot.  Liquids flow downhill and everyone faces forward.  I don't recommend sitting in the first row.

I dunno, I rather like the whole "Megatron is a Cthonian horror" angle the comics took.

That was about the only thing I liked, however.

I figure  most of you people will hate it. Most folks will have a good time and enjoy it. It'll make a ton of money, but less than they were expecting because what summer blockbuster really has legs anyway nowadays.

My son wants to see it. I'm sure it will be decent enough. I'm not expecting Bergman or Hitchcock. I  am expecting  explosions and CGI transformers with a modern vibe. You can't have your childhood raped if you consent.

The only summer blockbuster that has legs is the new Will Smith movie.

That comes out right before Christmas.

As someone wrote earlier, the robots themselves are weak.  Too much detail with not enough identifiable characteristics.

Also, Starscream looks like a fat-ass.  Jet fighter to wide-load bhudda-bot. 

That being said, I'll still have to go see it :(  Damn links to childhood.

Apparently Black Lab (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcQuXAf0cKc) decided the new theme sucked so much they would do a better one of their own.  It's a cover of the Lion song, with a few nods to the Vince DiCola score tossed in here and there.

And for shits and giggles, here's the movie trailer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fQ5YBcfhwo) put to the Lion version.

You know, I'm actually really happy now that I was totally obsessed with Nintendo, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Archie & The Gang as a kid.

Because this Transformers movie looks like dogshit. I think I own all of 4 transformer action figures, and they were given to me on my birthday each time simply because I was a kid and adults never EVER Think when buying presents for kids. Kids are easy to please. Though, the McDonalds toys were pretty cool (the tiny Transformers), I just never gave a shit about vehicles that turned into robots. Even back then it was lame to me.

But Turtles who stood upright kicking ass with classic ninja weapons named after famous artists made complete sense.

I'm pretty sure though, during the whole Transformers Thing in the 80s, I was mostly reading Archie. Weird.

Yeah, because the movies have been kind to the TMNT...

 :-o

You were a very advanced 4 year old, then... since Transformers peaked around 84/85.  Sure, they went on for a while but they were never as popular as those two years.

Christmas of 1984 was robot toy heaven.

Agreed.  I was that kid in the commercial freaking out after getting a robot for Xmas.  Except, you know, with a Transformer.

Forced my mother to take me to the movie :P

I got to see the movie with a friend wihout the 'rents around. This was awesome as it was 1) the first time that was allowed for me and 2) OMG they SWORE!

Was '84 the Voltron year too?  I got one of the 5-lions Voltrons one x-mas but I don't remember if it was then or later. 

I think '85 was the Voltron year. Though I could never convince my parents to buy me the Voltron stuff so it is hard to say.

I was the exact oppisite of Schild.  Walking talking campy Turtles?  Who gives a fuck?  The comics kick ass, but this TV show is crap.  Transformers, Voltron... nothing but :heart:

That's the dirty little secret of 80s toy properties.
The comics were WAAAAY better than the cartoons.  Mainly because they weren't written for 6 year olds, or mommies who wanted little Timmy to always be a 6 year old.

Decided to sacrifice my childhood memories to the Michael Bay rapage this afternoon rather than deal with my step-dad's houseguests.

Was more than pleasantly surprised.

Had it not been so tongue in cheek and tried to be your typical serious tone with a few one liners action movie, it would have fallen on its face.

Still not a fan of some of the artistic choices, but overall the flick was more than entertaining enough.

Sequel's definitely coming. We need some retarded dinosaurs in the mix.
The movie is a great consolation after the metallic vomit I got from the game.

The movie was a sack of rancid testicles, about what I'd expected.  The robots looked like ass, with about twenty times more tiny plates and moving parts than necessary and tons of exposed workings that a fighting robot would probably want safely behind armor.  It's like they were designed by someone with ADD; any part that would've been fine as just a single flat sheet of metal instead had half a dozen whirring and rotating little bits sticking out of it.  The plot was as stupid as one might expect from a Michael Bay film, and the Autobots spent a large portion of their screentime acting like complete fuckups.  The Decepticons came off fairly well, except for one that was the most annoying thing I've seen onscreen since Jar-Jar.

And as usual, Hollywood was lavish in its demonstration that nobody in Hollywood was awake in their high school science classes, nor have any idea how things like computers or radios work.

And yet you have as an icon the bastardized bugs bunny? If you choose that abomination, the ne plus ultra of raping ones childhood, you lose all right to bitch about Hollywood movies.


I really feel sorry for you. 

*Spoiler*
I bet you it really pissed you off when Bumblebee whizzed those sector seven guys.
/*spoiler*

A fighting robot probably wouldn't want to be anthropomorphic either. When you go to see a movie about giant fighting robots that transform from vehicles you probably need to suspend your disbelief somewhat to enjoy it. It wasn't a leap to expect some crap that didn't measure up to high school science class either.

IT'S EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME!!!! (http://www.tlgmedia.com/anim.php?id=1)
Oh kids, you just don't understand.  It's for the kids.  All those happy boys... (http://www.tlgmedia.com/anim.php?id=2)

The links bear enlightenment about my icon, but are NSFW due to profanity.

I thought the movie was glorious cheesy, asskicking fun.

Dumb, but massively FUN dumb.

THAT'S BUGS???!?!?

Whoever came up with that seriously needs to be skullfucked.

Strange how you missed that thread but you just quoted Haemish word for word.

:)

http://forums.f13.net/index.php?topic=2212.0

The links to the parody video aren't working though I'm sure if you search hard enough you'll be able to find a copy.

If you added a Worst. Movie. Ever. to the end of that, it'd be a brilliant comicbook guy post. Next you can tell us how big transforming robots from a different planet would never choose to be a Camaro.

I'm still mystified why that decepticon picked that weird looking truck though among all military hardwares available.

Maybe not the smartest tool in the shed?

For all you fuckers who think  Michael Bay's  version of Transformers  is your childhood being raped:

Meet your new master.

(http://tvmedia.ign.com/tv/image/article/799/799433/transformers-animated-poster_1182827311.jpg)

Goddamn fucking Cartoon Network.

This is Transformers as Superfriends, fighting evil humans, not Decepticons.

And it's this GOD DAMNED FUCKING SAMAURAI JACK COCKSUCKING HACK SHIT SHIT SH#*#*#*^@*^$*@^$* ARTWORK!!!!!!1!!11!!!1!!

(http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2007/20070704.jpg)

I was going to say where is my land of the lost movie, but then I realized I got three of them with Jurasic Park. I figure the writers would have written a script that close anyways.

Yeah, I've seen that Cartoon Network poster. I despise that art style with every fiber of my being. It looks horrible and makes me violently ill. Even the sucky old '80s sweat shop cartoons looked better than that.

Between this and the Star Wars cartoon I'm on the verge of writing off all non-Pixar and non-Japanese art as lost causes. To me, this art style is the shaky-cam of the cartoon world for horribly shitty decisions.

Actually, Jack has much, much better artwork than that.  Jack's fucking awesome when you take a good look at it.

That's actually more akin to the Teen Titans animation studio style.. "Americanized anime."

^^^ Teen Titans people are working on it. 

I'll wait to see it in motion and how the story actually plays out before having too much nerd rage.

Being a Transformers fan means SHUTTING THE NERD RAGE OFF.

Ive seen it post original Movie (OMG RODIMUS SUXXXORS)
Beast Wars (OPTIMUS IS TRUKK NOT MUNKEY DOOD!!)
Beast Machines (CYBERTRON SHOULDN'T HAVE PLANTS!!)
Unicron Trilogy (OMG ANIMU POKEBOTS!!!)
Movie (UGLY UGLY WAAHH!!)  (Admitted, I considered them to look like Bionicle Butt Baby Abortions, but most have grown on me.  Cept for Megatron who still looks like pure shit.)
And now Animated.

As a rational manchild who is far too grown up to constantly be buying these fucking toys yet does anyhow, I have kinda learned to take the good with the bad and not worry about it too much.

Transformers are meant to be fun, and I won't like everything put out for the brand.  The bad times is when I don't waste money on toys!

You only have to wait until 2008. (http://movies.zap2it.com/movies/news/story/0,1259,---25556,00.html)

You turn off your brain and enjoy the movie.

Then later as the whole thing sours in your head and you start picking up the faults that your fanboy forebrain violently repressed, you make fun of it, and start talking about trivial plot points like 'hey if they survive and travel in deep space then how come they froze in ice.'

But until then you enjoy the movie. The words "Michael Bay" are translated on a movie screen into a message: Turn down your brain, where applicable.

Uh but I wanted to give you guys an F13 EXCLUSIVE COMIC EVENT -- is the thread spoiler friendly yet?

Didn't he play Marshall Willenholly in Jay and Silent Bob?

Pretty much my feelings as well.

TRANS4MERS TEH MOVIE

(http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/8251/77165023nr6.gif)
WARNING YOU CANNOT SPOILER PICTURES

anyway here you go. This was pretty much the impression I got after watching it.

(http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/6249/88860934hm9.gif)

(http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/5593/45922054ud3.gif)

(http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/8740/45210736ek1.gif)

(http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/388/41546760kf9.gif)

(http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/1458/10479827oh5.gif)

(http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/1776/77439048wb8.gif)

(http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/5665/36040446eo2.gif)

(http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/9263/44080477sa7.gif)

(http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/5122/10he5.gif)

(http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/4072/11hu3.gif)

(http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/6510/12ul6.gif)

(http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/540/13ak0.gif)

(http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/4325/14oo3.gif)

I love you, Samprimary. I also loved this movie!

Heh. That was well done.

I liked it, but maybe I just went in not expecting much.

Heh. The comic was nice, sam.

I especially enjoy the "blurry combat scene #56".

That was wonderful!   :heart:

Damnit.. Sam's cartoon made me want to see it more than any of the biliions in advertising and merchandising.

Clearly, Sam, someone owes you some cash now.

VG Cats take on the movie. (http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=241)

My history of Transformers fandom:

(http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1374/881436861_dc6849760c_o.jpg)
(http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1330/881436917_38e3c88b71_o.jpg)
(http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1229/881436931_db700b89a7_o.jpg)

Is that a battlemaster ?

Nope, a Griffin.  (Actually whatever the original toy line was.  It's not the B'Tech line.)

That's a toy?  I had a model that looked exactly like it in the 80's that was sold under the Battletech header.  I recall at the time thinking Battletech was just some cheap knock off of Robotech.

 [12-year-old voice] Which is what I was REALLY into, thanks for the model anyway oh clueless parent.[/12-year-old voice]  :-D

Its a Soltic Roundfacer from Fang of the Sun Dougram.  Zinc Die Cast Metal!  It and the Dougram were released in the US for a short time.

You would also know them as the Griffon and Shadow Hawk from Battletech, and both were released as model kits in Revell's Roboteh Defenders line.
Takara rereleased almost the whole line of model kits back in the late 90s/early 00s but they have loong since gone out of print again. 
There have also been some capsule toy/blind buy sets of Dougram mecha but again, all out of print.

Here is a more modern toy version of the same thing:  http://www.hlj.com/product/KYD01076 
And the Dougram itself: http://www.hlj.com/product/KYD01055

Even though I use the Soltic Roundfacer as my alter ego in my silly little comics, I don't have the Revoltech version as shown above yet.  Got the Dougram and its pretty rad.  Actually all the Revoltechs I have are rad.  Megatron is probably the best non transforming version of him available.  I'm hoping for a Galvatron eventually.

I had most of the Revel model line.  And many of those duplicated in B'Tech miniatures.  I miss 3025. :cry:

Ok, I got it wrong, sue me.

But you knew you weren't sure, else you wouldn't have asked a question.  No need to sue. :-)

Ok, finally caught this.  Really good movie.  Could have done with a little less 'Support Teh Troops!' and a little more 'Fucking Robots Shooting At Each Other'.  Strangely, the 'human' aspect in the form of Sam and Slut worked really well for me.  The Gay Sideline of Sam and his Legless Robot worked just as well.

Peter Cullen once again rocked the world, even if he did re-use quite a few lines from the other movie...

And the film was worth it for the bit where Optimus popped his Sleeve Blade and stuck it right into the Decepticons Head.  That was fucking awesome.

Can't argue with Weaving as Megatron either, tho, as mentioned, the film could have had a little more Megatron.  "Is it Courage or Fear that keeps you going Human ?" was a good line as was "Disgusting."

And why o why o why does Hollywood always keep the black man down ?  Who was the casualty ?  The Brother.  Fuck Whitey.

http://optimus.transformersmovie.com/ (http://optimus.transformersmovie.com/)