f13.net

So, I didn't put the weekly releases up this week - which you've probably noticed. For those wondering, Titan Quest (PC) and Naruto (PS2) came out this week.

As you know, I rarely have time to play games anymore and when I do play them I definately don't have time to come up with a long drawn out review. BUT, while I play games I still make lists in my heads. Is there any interest in each week to kick off the new game discussion for us to make another child board in the frontpage forum that replaces the current weekly release forum? I'd feed articles in it that basically consist of 3 things:

1. A paragraph (maybe 2) that discusses any innovation or neat design, etc that may have come from the game.
2. A list of pros and cons, at least 3 on each side.
3. A scale for rent it, buy it, ignore it. That scale consisting of 3 parts, Rent, Buy & Ignore. Hell, we could even make it a point scale like Gamespot and give the games a 9 for a buy, 8 for a rent, and 7 for an ignore. Ironically, this would probably put f13 on Gamerankings.

Anyway, up to you all. Also, I would not do these reviews in a vacuum. I'd compare them to the keystone titles in each genre. Whatcha think?

Edit: Also, unless I get pre-release/reference copies of titles, it would delay the new release thread until the day after the Tuesday, Wednesday or Friday of release. But it would at least give proper warning on whether to drop dollars on product.

Edit 2: As a total aside, I'm thinking of starting a pre-release froth category for games that will probably end up hard to find so none of this Titan Quest bullshit happens again and people can preorder in stores and online and not have to deal with drama.

(Oh, and we'd still have regular reviews. These would not replace those. Reviews would still happen when appropriate/necessary/the result of a game WORTH reviewing)

I say 13 for buy, 12 for rent and 9 for ignore.

Then we'll see what happens.

First, I think this is a good idea.  Address salient points about the game as plus (+), minus (-) or neutral/YMMV (.), and I don't really have a problem with a numerical ranking.  I do think you should use Hat's idea of a thirteen-point scale, as well.

My version of this for Grandia III would go something like:

++ Looks good
-- Two DVDs, one hallway
-- Boring character advancement
- Tolerable combat
. A playable character with enormous tits
-- You posess an airplane in a large overworld, but can only land at seven places
-- No secrets or surprises of any kind
--- Gay-ass story

Final score: 3 -- Do Not Open Case

Go for it.

Tell me more about the enormous tits. JK JK

I think it should be a requirement to post pics if your going to envoke the phrase "enormous tits".  It only seems fair.

(http://www.apfn.org/apfn/bush_cheney.jpg)

Please note that no one said, "Boobs."  The term was tits.

I thought it said twits.

How about--

Rent
Buy
Ignore
Buy and Ignore - for those games that everyone says represent some kind of fundamental breakthrough in game design, but aren't all that fun. Like owning the complete works of the great economic philosophers in leather-bound hardback. You look smarter for having it on the shelf, but who can read that shit?

No. No. No. Nothing less than a 9.   :wink:

In that vein I think the available scores should be:

90%
95%
99.999%
110%
and...
ELEVENTY-BRAGORILLIAN PERCENT MUTHAFUCKAZ!@!!

Then somebody might mistake f13 for a video game review site instead of a fansite or a webzine.

I propose that MMO reviews should be placed on a different scale, whereby they're described in terms of what sort of disaster the product most resembles, ranging from "getting kicked in the nuts" through "twenty car pile-up" to "Hindenberg". A few games may inspire such incredulity as to receive the "Golden Chernobyl Seal of Quality".

This is all well and good. But did someone mention TITS???

Have you played Grandia III?

(http://images.bluelaguna.net/grandia3/images/grandia3-30.jpg)

Shockingly, this is about as well as I can do for finding a picture of Jugs McCleavage... officially named Dahna in the game.  If you have guessed that the is the Lulu ripoff, you are correct.  The other one, Sideboob (called Alfina in game) is the Yuna ripoff.

Since someone is going to ask, I went ahead and dug up a picture of Lulu.

(http://www.futurama-madhouse.com.ar/fanart/kenneth/morgan_lulu.jpg)

Make sure to tune into  Klamath Online  (http://klamath.net/webcam.htm) , 9PM Pacific, when our very own Voodoolily will don her Cowboy hat and get her tits out for the lads!  Lets turn out in full force and make Klamath Online cry for bandwidth!

(and before you ask, yes, I'm kidding about the tits, but not about the Voodoolily!)

Is that 6/29 or 6/30 for us EST people?

I'm sorry.  I have no words left.   :|  Really.  I've run out. 

I was playing off of Mr. Hats inflated scoring system.  Have not played the game, but the image makes me kinda want to...

Not worth it.  Download porn instead.