f13.net

So... anyone seen it yet?

I saw it over the weekend and was very pleased with it.  The Narnia series fares much better in the big screen transition than the Potter or LotR books, in large part because the Narnia books are short and not terribly complex, so you don't have to compress or butcher them to fit them into a 2-3 hour movie.

Pacing felt very good; I was never waiting for the next good bit (like with some parts of LotR) or wishing they would slow the hell down for a second (like with most of the last HP movie).  CGI might not have been technically flawless but I thought it was good enough.  Fight scenes were exciting.  The child actors didn't suck.  All in all a fine movie, and I'm very much looking forward to the sequels.


Also, there was a preview for Pirates of the Caribbean 2 before it, and it looks like Jack Sparrow is going to be battling Great Cthulhu or somesuch.  Cool!

The best part was the Pirates 2 trailer.

But it was a good movie.

I kept thinking "Give the Snow Queen some pointed ears and she'd be a badass elf."  Not that I'm trying to inject elves into this world, too, it just occured to me.

I wanted to see this last weekend.  Instead I got dragged to The Family Stone because my wife and her sister are big Sarah Jessica Parker fans.   

Sounds like I would have liked Narnia much better than a movie that was about as comfortable as explosive diarrhea.

I saw it last week - thought it was ok, but nothing spectacular.  Its a kids' story, so its a kids' movie.  Don't expect serious character development, don't expect a lot of gore in the fight scenes.  Its being pseudo-LoTR in its battle scenes, but due to being a kids movie it has to treat battle wounds and death in a manner that isn't going to give the little ones nightmares.  Its quite long (3ish hours), which I would have thought too long for a kids film.

Was it crap?  No.  Would I go see it again?  No.  Was it a good way to kill half an afternoon while waiting for a flight?  Yes.

Possibly because she played an elf in LoTR.

The movie was pretty good for a kids movie and it really didn't go easy on some of the violence. Well, not like most kids movies have. Samwise summed up why the movie was good for me. Pacing was on, action was good and it didn't feel like they butchered anything. It really went well together.

I thought Narnia was good as well. I think the fight scenes might have been a bit tense for a kids movie, there was certainly lots of fighting going on. Reminded me a lot of Troy, actually. (The camera shots during the charges, not the bad script).

All in all, very cool. I've only seen parts of the crappy made-for-tv versions of Narnia, and this is way better. They did a good job with Aslan too.

Saying that the Narnia movie is the most watchable translation of the book sadly isn't saying much, as the previous attempts were all horrible.  I felt they did as good a job in putting it on the big screen as Peter Jackson did with LotR; Jackson put forth a more impressive effort, but the Narnia people had an advantage in not having to cut big portions from the books to fit them to movie length.

Primarily, I was just relieved that they didn't fuck anything up when I walked out of the movie.  There were lots of places where they could have ruined the movie (annoying kids, badly animated talking animals, fucking with the plot), but they avoided all of the pitfalls.

I hope they do more of the books, but I can't believe they'd do all seven.  Magician's Nephew would likely just confuse people, being a prequel story, and Last Battle would permanently scar thousands of children.

Tilda Swinton wasn't in LoTR.

I've never read the books as a child so I can't comment on the adaption, but I liked the movie. In fact, I bought the books in reaction to seeing the movie.

No Pirates of the Caribean 2 trailer here, gah!

The freakish pale look had me confused with Cate Blanchet. My bad.

The main difference is that Cate Blanchett is kind of hot.

I like Swinton though. She looks like a cross between ET and a classic Victorian painting. [edit] Which is to say, somehow I find that attractive. Don't ask why.

Tilda Swinton was great in Constantine. In fact, I thought she was the second best cast character in it besides the devil himself.

Agree.  I thougth she was good in this movie also.  Likely she's now type-cast as edgy/menacing/androgynous, but at least she's working.

Does your family hate you that much?

Shit, I've have expected late stage syphilis to be more comfortable than that fucking movie.

Yeah, nothing like a movie about uncomfortable family gatherings to brighten up the holiday season.

Sounds like Narnia gets a mild OK.

Now PC2 being Jack Sparrow meets Cuthulu, that could be cool.  Tim Powers' book On Stranger Tides (http://www.abebooks.co.uk/servlet/BookDetailsPL?bi=516374711&searchurl=an%3DTim%2BPowers%26ph%3D2%26tn%3DOn%2BStranger%2BTides%26sortby%3D3), (which looks to be out of print and unavailable via Amazon) did something like that, and I've always thought it would have been a great game setting.

My son and I loved it.  Way better than Harry Potter, better than all the children films that came out this year.  We have been reading his books for a while, have read Book 2 about 4 times, but have gotten as far as book 5 (The Dawn Treader) and I'm not sure that most of the other books would work as films.  Great books, and a great film adaptation for once.  I loved the battle, seeing the Centaur charging into battle with duel swords swinging looked fabulous!  I got the video game for my son, since it was on his wish list, hope it is decent game (some are some ain't).

I was actually thinking while looking at her in Narnia "Why didn't they get people who look like her to be the elves?  She's fucking perfect.  Way better than Blanchet.  Orlando Bloom and his black eyebrows of doom still irritate me when I think about it."

I wasn't a fan of how they did the casting for elves in LotR.  There was one, an extra, in the background of one scene, who I looked at and thought "Okay, THAT guy looks like an elf.  In all of these movies.  One guy."

I thought the guy in LotR who played Agent Smith in the Matrix movies was a pretty good elf. I didn't think Legolas was horrible either.

I'm very picky when it comes to elves.

(http://www.f13.net/grief/long_vacation01.jpg)

I considered saying "I'm very picky when it comes to immortal, nearly androgynous, unearthly beautiful, arcane creatures." to maximize the gayness, but elf was shorter.

I should want to see Naria.  I should want to see Kong.
I don't and I can't figure out why.
"Over-produced" is closest thing I could think of.

Ummmm.....  Tilda Swinton was the lead in "Orlando".  The movie about an immortal dude that lives so long he changes sex.

I think she's had that androgynous type-casting locked down since 1992.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107756/

I assume you guys have seen this. (http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=zLElfJ9YCh0)  A friend sent me this and I thought it was pretty funny.

EDIT: For those at work it's an SNL skit with music and video.

That video is art. I watch it twice a day. We've begun to sing it at work just for the hell of it. It really scares customers when they ask for the game and you start singing a rap song about it. I think it's just bad because it's Narnia.

Damn, MapQuest is second to Google now, even on SNL! :P

That video is comedic gold. Pure genius.

Orlando was a good flick. Constantine, however, was not. Constantine reminds me of Keauneuau Reeves, and he reminds me of that guy from American Pie that was in Rollerball, and Rollerball reminds me of Rollerball. Which I just watched on TV, so it had the nudity cut out - the only reason to watch it missing. Well, aside from the insanely loud comedic "SPROING!!!!!!" noise the wire fence makes during the gripping motorcycle/cargo plane chase scene.

I used to enjoy Constantine before your post.

I, too, just watched the end of Rollerball (remake), and your reasoning makes perfect sense.  I am fully in your camp, sir.  Thank you for showing me the error of my ways.

I knew I had been avoiding the remake of rollerball for a reason.  Now I know that that reason is so that I may continue to enjoy Constantine.

I thought Constantine was mediocre.  The woman who played the lead irritates me. She did in the Mummy, and she did here.

That said, Tilda Swinton was fantastic and memorable and the most interesting character in the movie, and watching Gavin Rossdale's face melt was rather nice too.

Rachel Weisz is great. Not a great actor. Just great.


To look at.

Watched Narnia today at the local cinema. While it was bearable and kept me awake it had a lot of flaws which pissed me off more or less.

Some cliché lines which didn't quite fit, nothing springs to mind but the older boy Peter spewed some of them out.
4 wimpy kids turns into supah warriors after given some weapons from santa clause. And it's just as bad as it sounds.
A lot of the "poweful moments" just seemed silly, partly because there were to many of them.
They tried to stay at the peak of excitment for to long with the powerful music and try to be powerful moments during the last fight. It simply became to much, especialy since they already had wasted more than their fair share of powerful moments.
Lucy was played fairly well, the other kids sucked, partly the fault of the director because they didn't get fleshed out enough. Especialy the older girl which felt just like a random side kick.

Of course I'm nitpicking but it doesn't deserve the 7.4 it has on IMDB, not even as a movie for children imo.

I take it you've never read the book.

I did like to fire up the end of the movie.  Gabriel and the Devil were great.  And we get to see Keanu being beaten on.

I don't think I can ever watch it again, now.  Stupid Rollerball......

I've only seen the old series way back in the days, the only key words I remembered though were wardrobe, some kids and Aslan pretty much.

Do you mean the animated film that was back in 1979 that was broadcast in two parts?  There was also some BBC films of the books, but from what I hear the BBC series starts off great, but the last movies were very low quality.  I have also heard the they re-edited the BBC films and condensed them, cutting out a ton of the feeling and dialog.

I remember the animated film being pretty true to the book.  If you have time, read the book.  Read the book as a child, don't put thought into it, don't over study it, don't read into it, just read it and enjoy it.  It is a children's book, so that is about the only thing you need to think off as you read it.  Better yet, read it to someone who is a child, and see what they think.

I probably saw the BBC films then because I don't remember it being animated. I'm not a fan of reading unless I'm travelling, and I don't travel much atm. Might get the books for the upcoming summer if I'm geting bored hehe.

Saw Narnia in DLP with the kids yesterday. The Jesus stuff didn't bother me that much except for the whole "Son of Adam", "Daughter of Eve" stuff. The movie was simply beautiful in digital projection. I didn't have any kind of empathy for the world or the characters, though. My son really enjoyed it so it was a win.

Narnia needed to do 4 mil opening weekend in order for Disney to decide to do another of the series.  Because it did way more than that they will be doing Prince Caspian next.

I need to go back and reread all the books to refresh my memory of them, but I remember really enjoying Magician's Nephew.  I don't think the fact that it's a prequel would confuse anyone - the Scorpion King did well enough.

How was the Scorpion King at all related  to the Mummy, again?  From what I saw, it could've been two completely separate "worlds" and it wouldn't have changed anything.

Brendon Fraiser fought the Scorpion King at the end of the Mummy Returns. The Scorpian King (the movie) was the backstory of that guy.

Are they planning on doing the movies in publish order then? Or are they planning on just skipping over certain books?

I got the books for christmas this year and was very confused when I looked at the order of the books. When i read them as a child the books were in publish order, Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe was first, Prince Caspian, Dawn Treader, etc...

The new box I have has the books in chronological order starting with Magician's Nephew.

Right.

But it didn't cover anything about how he  became a giant fucking scorpion dude, or how  he acquired the  armies  of Anubis, did it?

On a different note, I have a new keyboard  that's sort of irritating me because it likes  to put in double spaces  sometimes, for no particular reason.  And  I am too lazy to fix them.  So that's why you're seeing that.

I think they were planning to do a sequel that covers how he became a giant scorpion.  Not sure if that's still going to happen.

Indeed it did.

The Scorpion King movie sucked such copious amounts of ass, I couldn't be bothered to have made it to the part about the armies of Anubis.

I'm not sure.  It seems like it's in Publish order to me.  Hopefully they put as much care into subsequent movies as they did Narnia.

My mistake - it was covered in The Mummy Returns.