f13.net

So this chubby girl, probably around 15 with pink hair comes into the store. There's an older guy, looks like a father or dirty uncle,  with her and she wants to see My Little Pony stuff. She's wearing a I  :heart: Hentai shirt.

I feel distinctly prudish around kids anymore, and me nor my friends are anywhere near uptight. I find myself saying, "Aren't you way too young to be thinking about that kind of shit?" a lot anymore around my younger cousins when they wail about their problems.

There's something deeply unsettling about overhearing middle-school aged girls discussing blowjob techniques at the mall.

"Meg, look at these shirts.  They're so glamorous.  This one says Porn Star in glitter.  And this one says Slut.  And this one says Sperm Dumpster."

I think pink hair is adorable.

Err....What kind of store do you work in exactly? Why would you even HAVE My Little Pony stuff?

And if you do have this stuff, why you would be surprised at what kind of customers would come in?  :wink:

Antique and collectible store. All of the My Little Pony shit is 20 years old now. Tried to get the Hentai-loving chicky to buy a My Little Pony Slumber Party pack, but $62 was too rich for her.

Is it your store (do you own it?)? That sounds like a great job actually (The "antiques" part I mean. Not the hentai).

I am beginning to understand the angst.

Shit. The geriatric mafia is in the store again. I must hide.

(http://www.rrbycresa.com/RedHat/Sharon's%20club_small.jpg)

Do you ever get any nice pieces of McCoy pottery? I collect the bamboo-patterned flower pots.

We've got a whole booth upstairs with overpriced McCoy crap in it.

Oh sorry. I'll look later when I get sick of not working.

LOL, guess its not the dream job Stray thinks it is.

I doubt it. I think his dream job involves bingo.

I don't see what you're complaining about.  You are surrounded by beautiful objects which don't belong to you.  Mysterious elderly ladies wearing red hats seek your counsel.  And... in case no one knew... sometimes you get to carry HUGE pieces of expensive furniture up flights of steps... ALL BY YOURSELF!

I'd kill myself for a job like that!   :-)

(actually I'd probably love working in an Antique shop... well, except for the dust... and the fact that not working at all seems to suit me)

I think I'd prefer working in an antique shop over most other retail-type jobs.  Having each item you sell be "unique" appeals to me for some reason I can't articulate.

The coffee shop that put me through college had an adjoined antique store. I got some really cool, wierd shit there for my reliquary. The best thing I ever found (FOR $10!) was an original pair of hoodwinks used by the freemasons.

I once found a fake holy grail used by the knights templar to hoodwink the freemason founders into thinking they'd be able to cure all disease.



































That wasn't as funny as I wanted it to be. Nor as historically accurate. I'm exhausted.

It's okay, hon, I just woke up from a nap and it's already time for a drink. Cape codder ftw!

I gave up on Bingo. Expensive! I kept losing my previously won Bingo money.


[edit] My dream job, however, outside of just wanting to be a pampered rock star, is to be Indiana Jones.

Being Indy probably isn't going to happen, so Antiques seems like the more down-to-earth option. At least I can still have adventures doing that (albeit, in my head).

My band used to practice across the street from a bingo hall. We'd send one of our friends out to collect money from grandmas who were parking in our parking lot.

Are you sure you want to start a new job? Sounds like you are living the perfect life now! Naps and booze and video games, oh my!

I need to win the lottery so I can make this a reality for me.

Don't be so sure. When you win the lottery your name goes in the paper and everyone bugs you for money. I think you'd be much better off running a blackmail business.

God, tell me about it. I just need to find a way to make a living selling snarky comments and tired observations, and I'll be rich! Rich, I tell you!

Nah- lottery is fine. I nice big chunk of change to upgrade my home and car, play all the poker tournaments I want, and generally take it even easier than I do now. I have no problems telling people begging for money to go fuck themselves. I can even it do it more profanely and creatively- I have been learning at Haemish's knee for years now  8-)

Well then after you win the lottery I will discover your secrets and start up the blackmail business myself. You have been warned.

Hire Haem to ghost write for you.

You want to be Andy Rooney?

Ah you were the unauthorized acquirer of our satanic ritual devices memorabilia.  Two young Mormon missionaries will be by shortly to pick it back up.

My voodoo is far too powerful for the Mormon boys. I tell them I'm Jewish and they run for the hills.

One day, when I find a thread that allows the wearing of tinfoil hats, I'll have much to say to you Poc.

Heh the only better place than Useless for tinhattery is Politics... ;)  I'm a 32nd degree - I doubt you have much to say I have not heard before still I welcome it.  :-o

(http://www.leidenuniv.nl/fsw/verduin/ghio/ghio_img/jubal84c.jpg)

So was my grandfather.  I know you aren't him because he's dead... but I still have his ring.

Damn, wondered where I'd left that thing.

(http://www.phoenixmasonry.org/masonicmuseum/images/ringSR14degree.jpg)

/chuckle

I'll just say that Guns, Germs, and Steel is a bunch of bullshit. It's all about the Relics....And something Pythagoras said.

Diamond is not the first one to advance that hypothesis.  Joseph Campbell made a series of very interesting observations correlating geography and nomadic vs. agrarian cultures influenced by geography.

But I must have misunderstood the reference since Diamond's book has nothing to do with masonry. :)

And for being on such an interesting subject, he made it about as dry and unreadable as possible.

I'm referencing the territorial and cultural dominance of various European peoples over the rest of the world. I think it had little to do with what he states, and more to do with what you sneaky Masons are up to (And before that, Templars...And before that, Pythagoreans).

Tinfoil hat etc..

Hey, watch it- that's one of my favorite books. Especially the parts about the domestication of plants and animals.

The subject matter was fascinating- I just thought the writing was dull. It was too textbook-ish for me. YMMV.

What does YMMV stand for? You're Much More Victorious? You Make Me Violent? Yo' Mama's Massive Vagina?

I was thinking Your Mileage May Vary, but I like some of yours too  :-D

There are too goddamn many acronyms to keep track of. It's much more fun to come up with my own meanings.

When you were a kid did your dad ever make you eat a peanut butter and mayo sandwich? And you liked it?

My dad used to make me peanut butter and pickle sandwiches. They ruled.

Really guys...I thought my tinfoil hatting would go somewhere.

It's not just some conspiracy theory. It's THE conspiracy theory.

My mom made mine. Toasted they were great.

I don't want to be educated then murdered and left in a swamp.

If I win the lottery, I'm hiring Haemish as my PR consultant.

Douchebaggery of any kind from relatives and/or "friends" will be dealt with accordingly.

I think that only those in the know about the JFK stuff deal in swamp related punishments. No need to worry -- When I say "THE conspiracy", I don't mean that one (well, maybe a little).

I used to know a guy who was one of the Illuminati freaks and he tried to convince me once that there were dragons sleeping inside Mt. Tabor (a neighborhood cinder cone volcano that's been dormant for millennia, and who's caldera now has a basketball court) and four "laylines" running across it. I told him that I used to play Rifts in high school but otherwise had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.

They are on to us. We must hide. HIDE!

When I tried to check that link it prompted me for a password. Scary!

(http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/images/ccarter/2005/07/26/axe.jpg)