f13.net

I don't.  I don't watch football or any other sports.  They're not my thing.

But I have to pretend that they're my thing for a little while now, because I have a new gig.  Basically I'm being paid to write some bits about footballs teams, 500-ish words each, that will be used to advertise and try to sell tickets.

What could you hear about a football team that would make you want to buy a ticket to their game?  I have absolutely no idea what interests people in this, so any light anyone can shed on this would be good.  What would attract you to a team?

I can research specific information, I just want to know what type of information I should be focusing on.  Roster? Championships? History? Old legends?

Is it football (soccer) or American football (football)? College or pro? What idemographic are you targeting?

Sorry, American football.

I'm targetting the kind of person who would find themselves on a website reading information about football tickets and trying to decide whether or not they will buy them.

I assume they are all NFL, as the first one I'm supposed to write is Cincinnati Bengals.

I really have very little information here.  They generally say "Here's what we want, here's how much we'll pay, here are the subjects, here's when we need it. See ya then!"

I'm confused....Because you're confused. I'm really not understanding your objective here. Is it an advertisement directed towards current football fans, or something that's meant to entice someone to a game who generally wouldn't have done it on their own?

Anyways, that being said, most local team fans will go to games regardless of any sort of advertising. Though, to make it easier for you, I would say roster changes are a big factor to get people in the seats (at least at first). Everyone wants to see how the new guys play.

[edit] Another big factor is who the other team is that they're playing against. Especially if the opposing team has a big name star.

I've copied and pasted all the information I have about the marketing intent below:


 :thumbs_up:

So I guess it's no wonder I have no idea what the fuck I'm supposed to write.

Wow. That's a terribly hard job. You could try and be completely madcap about it. Find the most obscure facts.

Did you know that xxx had xxx yards last year? Did you know that's also a multiple of how many hotdogs xxx stadium sold.

Can it be funny/insane?

Well, if it's the Bengals, then say, a week 4 adverstisement would have been something like

"Don't miss your Cincinnati Bengals try to push their winning streak against Donavan McNabb and the Philadelphia Eagles Sunday."

Err..Or something.

Two things to notice there:

1) Winning streak (i.e. advertisements usually draw from momentum or hope. Not sweeping generalizations about past team legacy or whatever).

2) WHO they're playing is just as important. And putting the name Donavan McNabb adds a little drama to point one.

Anyways, I've gotta go...I'm in a hurry, but I hope that helped a bit.

Focus on winning records, big name players, etc. You'll pretty much have to do research on each individual team. Some teams that have been around forever you can use a historical or nostalgic approach. Without being a fan though, this is going to be tough.

Dude, the Bengals are easy. They are a good team. Just mention their nice record, their potential, a couple good players, etc.

I wouldn't bother with any random historical facts or anything like that.

Something like:

Carson Palmer and Chad Morton (ow whatever his name is, I forget) lead the Bengals offense as they look to start a new winning streak and stay on top in the whatever division. Blah blah blah


Focus on the positive. If the team is not doing well, try to at least pick out some players that are.

Chad Johnson. His touchdown dance last week was giving the ball CPR.  Although there is a player named Chad Morton, but he's on the giants.

Yah, Bengals are easy.  You've got a great young QB, two stud recievers and a solid RB.  Defense aint too horrible either.  I feel sorry for you when you have to cover the Texans. 

Okay, thanks.

I'm not going to be writing ads for individual games, so who they're playing against isn't going to show up.  But I can definitely research individual players and throw some info about them out there.  Two or three interesting players per team and I easily have my 500 words.

To my knowledge, no it can't be insane.  I'm going off assumption.  Since this is going to pay this month's bills, I don't think I'm gonna risk it.

For the Bengals I would just say they are a team whose time has come, they have some great players and a charismatic, well-respected Coach. The team has jelled (or gelled even) and they are ready to make a run for the playoffs. To steal the Red Sox old phrase, this is the year to be here.

Yeah...when you get to a team like the Texans you are in for a world of hurt...

Texans: "Keep the hope alive!"

Texans: "Show up to see if Carr breaks in half on the field."

Not to criticize you personally, Llava; but it strikes me as funny that whoever hired you to write copy about football didn't bother to ask whether or not you were sports-minded.  Then again, I suppose that's not at all out of line... I have no doubt that rooms full of balding men strategize about how to sell the next breakthrough in women's shampoo and so on.  Or was it more, "sure, I can do that!" to their face to get the job and now... "I have no idea how to do that." to the f13 braintrust?

Good luck

Texans: Hey that other team in Texas is playing well!

I can see it now. "Broncos Tickets! For sale today only!" And there is a massive stampede. And everyone finds out that no, actually, all the tickets are *still* sold out for perpetuity and are handed down as part of estates.

And then the riots start.

Mass Hysteria.

Rivers of blood.

Dogs and Cats Living Together.

AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!


...


um. So. I guess this might play out a bit differently in places where there are actually tickets to sell.

"Come see our team! They don't suck as badly as you think!"

"Remember The Alamo! We lost that one as well, but no one sold tickets to it!"

Don't worry about the Texans...I am sure the Seahawks will roll over for them this week, just to make me miserable.

As for the Bengals- Marvin Lewis, Carson  Palmer, Chad Johnson and Rudi Johnson are all big names and should be easy to spin into something marketable. Hell, you could talk about Chad Johnson's gold teeth for 500 words easily.

If you are writing about the Bengals you should mention Head Coach Marvin Lewis. He has done an amazing job putting that team together.

Maybe go the other way with it.

"Our team sucks so bad that you'll want to be there to see what they do next! Don't be left out at the watercooler on Monday!"

NFC North: Wide open division (everybody sucks this year)

Bears: Urlacher and Mike Brown, great young players, storied tradition of Payton, Sayers, Ditka, Butkis, and Halas, the 1985 Bears, the early sixties Bears, the Bears of the early NFL,. can rookie QB Kyle Orton fill the shoes thrust on his feet.

Packers:  Bart Starr, Vince Lombardi, Zeke Bartkowski, can Brett Farve pull togather this young team in the twiight of his great NFL career.

Detriot:  Barry Sanders, the young high pick offensive people, can Joey Harrington finally prove his abilities.

Minnisota: Can Dante Culpepper make it without Randy Moss, can the defense live up to the tradition of the Purple People Eaters.

The answer to all these questions, by the way, is no.

Well that's sorta the point of the job.  Like the last project I did for them was entirely about car parts.  I don't know shit about cars.  So I did research and learned.  That's how it works.  If I don't know, I do research.  In actuality the quality of the work doesn't matter that much, I just like to make it good so they keep hiring me.  But my real job is to throw in the keyword a certain number of times so that the page shows up on search engines.  (Here (http://overnightautoparts.com/honda-alternator-specials.html) is a sample of some of the brainless work I did.  If you look at the list on the left, I wrote almost all of those descriptions, plus the ones for Jeeps, and then a bunch for Acuras.  This project isn't exactly alike, as it's more in-depth, but you get the idea.  My job is to flood the Internet with text.)

Your job......Offends me.

And I'm not even that big of a football fan or car enthusiast!

Vs the alternative, a catalog filled with useful information like "Acura - buy it!"?  There need to be levels between the bare fact of a product's existance and the engineering data.  The beauty of the Internet is that I can get enough high level info on almost anything to progressively narrow my search to get the information I really want about the subject I'm really interested in.

Wanna pay my bills?

Hey, I didn't say you shouldn't or "can't" do it! I said it offends me.

[edit] In other words, a perfect world would have only experts/experienced people talking about their respective subjects/interests (this goes for on the job and off the job).

* Now excuse me while I go and post something in the Politics forum.

In the midst of my research:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Cjfine.jpg

Heh.

Research: Keyshawn Johnson

His cousin. He's even funnier (and even more irritating).

The Bengals are about as easy as you could possible get to start with.

#1 look up some stats on their offense they are in the top 3 scoring points, with incredible young players (rudi johnson, carson palmer, chad johnson and t.j) which is fun to watch on its own.  They went 4-0 to start the season for the first time since 1988 which was the last time they were in the super bowl (a hell of a reason to watch).  The defense has rookie Odell Thurman starting who is a rising star and David Pollick (both from UGA) hasn't really gotten into the lineup yet.  They are generating loads of turnovers with O'Niel and James both having a hell of a year at corner.  Marvin Lewis' plan is finally comming to fruition after a league record playoff drought they are in control of their own destiny to win their division.  In previous years they dug holes for themselves starting 1-4 both times but ending the season on 7-3 runs.  If history stays consistent they will continue to play even better and better football definitely a team to watch.

They have some huge games comming up:  Pittsburgh, Indy and Baltimore (assuming the Ravens can come out of their funk).

Anyways I'm a huge Bengals fan and they are selling out their games right now so I'm not sure why they are even having you write this unless its to get people in other cities to show up to see them play.  Which would make sense because people who don't play close attention to out of town teams might not realize these aren't your daddy's bungles.

Appreciate the help, folks.  Think I have an idea of what I'm focusing on.

No, I won't post it.  See if you can find it online when I'm done.

Man...after all our help you should post it!

Anyway I could totally go for a new Honda Exhaust right now...oh wait, I need a *car* first?

Yeah... see, the thing is, it's going to be awful.  I mean, no matter what I do, it's going to be awful because it's written like a marketing piece, by someone who knows nothing about this shit, for people who barely know anything about this shit.  But because you're all smartasses, you'll ridicule me anyways.  And I know better.  So there.  :-P

Oh also I wanted to mention to Stray that I do agree that this job is pretty silly, and condescends to the average person just like all marketing... but man, I did telephone surveys when I was a lot younger... this is SO much better than that.  So I have a high tolerance level for this kind of thing.  I figure people have learned to ignore it by now anyways.

Heh, yeah, I know. Don't take me too seriously. You gotta do what you gotta do, etc..

I could be way off on this but there are only two reasons I go to an actual game rather than watch it on T.V. or look for the stats the next day.

1.  The game isn't televised and I'm really interested in it.
2.  The stadium in itself has lots of things I like about it and can't be experienced through the tube.

Out of the second item I can think of:

- Cheerleaders (talk about rewards they've received, etc.)
- Stadium food (many times unique for the one you are in - pro only of course.)
- Stadium beer (I've been seeing lots of unique micro-brews make their way into the games.)
- Local sponsors of the games (Many times they do raffles or contests or give-aways.)
- Other give-aways for events (For every touchdown they throw t-shirts, etc.)
- Pre-game, halftime, and post-game activities in or around the stadium.

All of that requires research into the area you are writing about, but those are the things that would draw me to a live game rather than having a much better seat on the T.V. IMO.

Edit: Also local traditional taverns/pubs, etc.  Many times that yanks a memory from me and make me want to relive it near the stadium.  Good times, good times.

Watching a game in person is an entirely different experience than watching it on TV. You can choose to watch any area of the field, instead of just following the ball. It is really interesting to watch different defensive setups, offensive formations, etc. It is also exciting when you see a receiver break wide open BEFORE the ball is thrown to him. You can also watch the sidelines- see who is getting treated for an injury, who is getting reamed by the coaches, which players sit together, etc. Live football is a much richer experience. It is just more expensive and more of a hassle than sitting on the couch.

That is all true if you pay extra to get good seats.  I was at a game last weekend and couldn't see shit on one half of the field.  I spent most of my time watching the game up on the scoreboard screen, which was the same as T.V.

I agree with everything else you said.  Being there is a totally different experience, but a good view of the game is not necessarily always true.

Dren really hit the nail on the head. I love football, but I rarely go to a game. Even when I was single the thought of buying tickets barely entered my mind except during playoff season. I have been to 3 NFL games in my life: 2 NYGiants and 1 Philly Eagles. I am an Eagles fan. They are division rivals. One of the Giants games was against the Eagles and I live NY. For all three games, I was invited/gifted the tickets.

So, having gone to see a game, what prevents me from going again? I mean, if anything is going to convice someone one way or the other, it will be the experience itself.

Here is a list of hassles you should try and address:

1) Most games are sold out so the only tickets available are on eBay or other intermediary. You are obviously selling official ticket from the team box office. These tickets probably suck. Why should I pay to go to a fotball game and sit in the nosebleed section when I can watch the game from the virtual 50 yrad line at home?

2) At the game, I seriously missed the slow-mos and replays that TV gave me. I also frequently lost track of the down because one has to actively look for it at a stadium while on TV it is in your face the whole time.

3) Two if the games were fucking cold. I mean, COLD. This would only be exacerbated by #1 since I bet the luxury boxes are all taken. For teams in moderate climates, the outdoor angle would be attractive.

4) Certainly in NY and Philly, parking was a goddamn nightmare.

5) No one wants to watch a blowout. On TV, you can change the channel. In the stadium you either get drunk or leave. If I had paid to watch the Saints lose 52-3, I would have been pissed.

6) Football needs to be watched with football fans. Large groups would be best. All three of my games I was with my girlfriend at the time since the tickets came from her.

These are reasons I will not likely go to an NFL game for a long time. If I do go, I will buy good seats on eBay during playoff season, hopefully in a dome.

I am going to go to the Bears/Vikings game this Sunday and I went to the Bears/Bengals game a few weeks ago. Before the Bears/Bengals game, I had been to one game in my life and it was so long ago that I don't even remember it.

I have to say that the experience was completely awesome. I got the tickets for face value (65 bucks) from a friend who has season tickets and then went to the game with him, his girlfriend and my friend. I didn't bring my camera because it rained off and on most of the day, but the seats were in the SW corner of Soldier Field and they were 10 rows from the field. Hopefully the weather will be alright on Sunday and I can bring my camera to get some pictures. I don't remember exactly when it happened, but let me just say that when Chad Johnson caught one of his TDs he ran into the end zone basically right in front of me and I could basically see his damn eyes and that was cool (even though it was a touchdown against my team).

Of course maybe it helped that my friend and I went down early and tailgated with the ticket guy. We were pretty well buzzed by the time we got into the gate and we had beers when we sat down. A good time was had by all.

That gleam wasn't his eyes, it was his 24 carat mouth.

Ahhh.  The gleam.

I can use that one, thanks.

The rest, I'm afraid, are not usable for me.  I'm just being given the name of a team, nothing about where they're playing, who they're playing against, etc.  I expect you will see the same description for the Bengals no matter where they're playing or who they're playing against, the way they want me to write it.  They'll probably tack on a "NOV. 23RD VS BALTIMORE RAVENS" or something.

Much like Congress, there aren't that many experts in the world, and experts generally get paid well in that field, as opposed to copy writers who have to come up with some friendly sounding bullshit about whatever product their clients are selling. I'm a writer and I would never want to be hired to write much copy, because you have to say copious amounts of nothing about things you have little to no interest about.

So what I wrote was wrong, apparently.  I have to rewrite it.  This time, I'm not supposed to date the description- that means no talking about how they look this year, no talking about current players (except talking about them in the same way that the Yankees might talk about Babe Ruth).  Soooo... basically, there's nothing I can write, with the parameters I've been given, that would actually make people want to see this game.

NOW it's a copywriting job.  Before, I had material.

(Thankfully, they requested the description be shorter.. like 300-ish words.  That will be way easier than rambling for 500 words about absolutely fucking nothing.)