f13.net

I don't have much to say about this week. Two or three games I'm looking forward too, the rest are pretty meh.

Black & White 2 (PC):
Might be good. Might be fun for 10 minutes. There's really no way of ever knowing with this Molyneux stuff. I can't even think of anything interesting to say.

Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow (DS):
Sidescrolling Castlevania action. The touchscreen stuff is gimmicky bullshit in this particular title, but the gameplay is still stellar. Castlevania was actually the reason I purchased a GBA as well.

Digital Devil Saga 2 (PS2):
Trauma Center: Under the Knife (DS):
And some of you wonder why I like Atlus so much. For shame.

Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel without a Pulse (Xbox):
I was looking forward to this title for a long time. Now I'm not. Maybe I'll rent it.

That's all I have to say. Trauma Center is really the only one I'm super jonesed up for. Oh, next week is even worse. Yay.

You ever going to update these posts with the results of your gaming experience?

I've been debating whether to make a thread for each game I've played, but I kinda forgot to ask to gauge interest. Signe actually said something to me about it in PM and I'd forgotten about it until now. So, should I?

Virtua Tennis: World Tour (PSP)

WOOT WOOT!

First you should den the "F13.net Review System" thread since that never quite seemed to work out.

It's still on the table. But not in that form. But yea, I'll make that disappear.

Digital Devil Saga and Trauma Center: Under the Knife have been pushed to the 11th of October.

Also:

Virtua Tennis (PSP):
Rasix is reviewing the game I believe, but in very, very short: I likey.

Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects (PSP):
Total shit.

PoPoLoCrois (PSP):
About time the PSP in America got a classic style RPG. I'll be getting this and not just for the very happy colorful cover art.

Meanwhile, Japan gets Romance of the 3 Kingdoms VI redone for the PSP this week. DAMN.

I haven't seen any real gameplay from Marvel Nemesis.  What, if you can get into details, sucks so badly about it?

Not that I disbelieve you.  I'm just curious.

Have you ever played a game that's supposed to be in one genre but plays like another? The only one I can think of right now is Marvel Nemesis. It wants to be a Soul Calibur or maybe a Dead or Alive or even a Virtua Fighter, I'm not sure. But it plays more like the bastard stepchild of a platformer and Powerstone and Ergheiz. It's just really really bad. The controls are bad. The characters are all crafted from the same rubber, let's call it Denny's. The sound is mediocre. The particle effects are below average. Even the superheroes don't feel very super - sort of like the completely maxed out powers in Jade Empire. In fact, if Jade Empire were a fighting game but a little more fluid, had no story, and had terribly conceived half-ass new superheroes thrown in the mix, you'd get Marvel Nemesis. Rise of the Imperfects, indeed.

I do agree about the ideas for the "new superheroes."  Reading the backstories on the website gave me the impression "Good backstory if I saw it on a character in CoH, but most of that is coming from the lack of grammar and spelling violations."

Brigade for example.  "Soldier (in Iraq, we're edgy!), experiments, supersoldier, DONE, NEXT!" 

Isn't this just a releases thread? To take the place of the little box. Reviews go in reviews.

Speaking of which, I'd be able to write timely (e.g., currently relevant) reviews that prehaps got posted if I didn't hafta wait until a game was available to the public before I could start playing it (hint hint  :-)).

So would we.

You mean you guys don't get the pre-release bling? My image of you as giants has been shattered.

Naw, spot on for the Gints.
(http://orig.app.com/appnflpg/102802EaglesGiants/images/COLLINS.jpg)

I for one am quite looking forward to this. The first one, for all it's somewhat bugginess and incompleteness, was still a lot of fun. I loved nothing more than playing with my creature, and watching him poop on villagers while I taught him how to throw fireballs. I'm a sucker for sandbox gameplay, and especially ones that support quirky behavior and choices by players.

Very rarely.

Then why do you guys do this? Is it for teh luv? Or teh power. Isn't f13 a big ol' time drain without the benefit of free bling and advertisers? It's for teh luvz isn't it.

Actually, it's for teh hate.

It beats the shit out of working while at work  :-P

What he said. I post mostly at work. I write mostly at work.

I started writing these things as practice; I found I wasn't writing that novel I'd always wanted to write, and decided that I needed a brain stretching to get into. 3 years later, I'm still writing this stuff and the novel is finished.

Ah, that novel is finished? Congrats man (didn't read you announce anything before).

It's really one of those lesibian short stories for Penthouse.

I haven't told many folks that it's done yet. It's been sent to one publisher, who I'm waiting on word from.

I hope that pub likes lesbians.

I spend real moneyz on about 2-5 games a week - depending on the week. This week it'll be 2. Last week it was 3. The week before that, 4. The industry decides when I spend money.


Luv.

"If you haven't played it, it's Molyneux to you!"

I think it should be a feature and it should get done up like the reviews for movies and books that you lot do.  But you already know I think this even though you tried to forget I said it.  You should know better by now... I was just about to mention it again.  I never let anything die until it's completely out of blood or sometimes when I get distracted by shiny things and for

They are bullshitting you Voodoo!  Why else would Mr. Schild need business cards?  They are just trying to fool you into believing that they do not make copious amounts of $$$ off the site!!! 

I know because I read it on the other site.

I want to verify that it's less buggy before I put money on this one.  I got really pissed off at B&W's bugs.  Most notably the one that corrupted your savegame if you got to the last level (WTF), and the one I got after the patch where my previously benign ape became obsessed with fireballing my temple.

I write for the site for the same reason that Haemish does. Practice, fun, and in general it's nice to write for an audience who doesn't mind a review that includes the word, "cockholster" in it.

You and your filthy mouth!  I mind.   :x

Im just getting Midway Arcade Treasures 3 and that Capcom collection.

Cuz I am broke, but they both have awesome games on it.  And are 20 a pop.

Though if my local Wal Mart gets the Count Ducula season 1 DVD in I will spend my limited funny money on that instead.  Because that show fucking RULED.

B&W1 would have been a great game, if it came with just the first level and only cost ten bucks.  I enjoyed teaching my little AI tiger to set fires and shit on people as much as the next guy, but the actual game played like the shallowest RTS in history.  While I was dicking around figuring out how to get my people to build houses and charge up my Prayer-O-Meter without starving to death, the enemy was casting Own Ass on my village.  No real "units" per se, except maybe the aforementioned pyromaniacal fecophile feline, just a "kill enemy" button for you to save up the mana to push.  That's gameplay there.

By the way, did anyone EVER teach their creature to be productive and useful?  Or did the entire universe just laugh and say "Aha, look what he just crapped on!  Good boy!"

Creatures were pointless. It was a good idea, but since the RTS was so vapid they never served any purpose other than comic relief.

I never got my creature to be terribly useful at taking care of my villagers but he did get to be damned good at impressing villages I didn't control and eventually taking them over for me. He just never got tired of it - even if the enemy god beat the shit out of him every time he came by.

My creature could water plants and put out fires.  At times that's all the poor little Shellguy did.  I don't mean pissing on it or anything like that - I taught him to create water and he went around like some bizarre Eastman&Laird raingod.

A strange game, but I liked it.

I paid $50 for Black & White. When I found out it was a spanking, sleeping and sacrifice simulator I got very angry. I'm about to pay $50 for Black & White 2, because I'm Pavlov's Gamer. What? Simulation? Of any sort? He might have gotten it right this time? God Tomagotchi?

/me lays money on counter.

Speaking of simulations...

I was over at schild's yesterday and I was playing Nintendogs. I was getting some kid of perverse pleasure out of rubbing his virtual dog's crotch.

I think I have a problem.

Well, that's where the Molyneux hate comes from. B&W was almost an incredible game...just like all his stuff. I had a benevolent creature, took care of the village and I spent a lot of time in the sandbox level just transplanting trees and sandboxing. I once tried the second level and it was so shitty I started a new game and never left the first level. Great concept, shitty game. And I despise RTS, so that didn't help, and also means I probably won't dig the sequel.
As my librarian mate is fond of saying: "Statistically improbable phrase!" I got her started on that when I caught her saying "Why would they put the head louse on the pubic hair? Of course it's not going to be able to navigate quickly!"

Ahh...lice racing. More fun than B&W.

Right here is where we diverge. I *never* thought of the B&W as an RTS or tactical game of any sort. I just thought of it was a silly god game with a whacky creature that I could play with, and peasants whose needs I could flippantly ignore and exploit. That half of the game was superb.


I had a monkey once who became amazingly benevelant. I leashed him to the town hall, and he would cast food spells, water the crops, play with the kids, and help the lonely villagers have sex. Then one day I forgot he was leashed to me while I was razing the enemy, and he came back to town all fire and brimstone, and started kicking buildings. It was awesome.

I found a copy of B&W for under $5 at a shop along with a bunch of others.  Maybe some day they'll be worth money as they will never be opened.  I can hardly wait!

I really tried hard to like that game, but every time I tried B&W1 from the start I was forced to go through that fucking tutorial which takes >30mins to do.  Fuck that.  If you want to reroll with a new creature, or you fuck up some part and want to restart, why shove people through another mind numbing experience of basically cutscenes and really annoying voiceovers (good & bad help bots)?  Plus the UI was confusing -- the reverse of most people's mouse controls with the inverted hand you used to grab things with... gah.  Disappointing.  This will have to unwrap itself and jump in my PC for me to want to play.  And I loved the Populous franchise, good fun, great stuff.

Edit: forgot Sam's post -- I got buggered with that savegame defect a few times, thus forcing rerolls, thus forcing the testicle crunch described above.  B&W is an excellent concept and was pretty well executed, but it needed (dare I say) more sandbox to give players a better sense of sim/strat.  Otherwise, they needed to trim iit down a lot to get you into whatever game narratives there were.  I never got that far into any after the newbie isle.  Couldn't fight or protect my new villages worth shit.  Bad experiences, won't buy.  Want to buy, won't buy.

They did eventually make a patch so that you could skip the obnoxious tutorial. They never did get rid of all the save game bugs though. I think one of the devs was a newbie to Windows programming and got overly enthusiastic about using the registry. I've never seen such a ridiculously over-complicated save game method in all my years of programming.  It absolutely cried out for unrecoverable bugginess. Hopefully, the new game doesn't have these problems.

Looks like it's not coming in until Thursday.  Which means bumblefuck Best Buy won't get it in until sometime next week. I may have to save that gift card for something else.


EBgames is now listing this as coming out on November 8th.  Somewhat disappointing as I have been hearing some good things about this title. Looks to have a rather endearing artistic style to it also.

Hmmm. I just got a preorder call from Gamestop saying mine would be in tomorrow by 4pm.

Might want to try...there.

For which game? I'm going to assume Virtua Tennis. Anyhow, yah, Ebgames is like 2 minutes from my house.  Gamespot, not that much farther.  I'll have it. 

Popolocrois.

Also, Virtua Tennis will probably be in at Best Buy by tomorrow afternoon. If not, very sternly ask one of the dumbass motherfucker goons that works there to go in the back and get it. If he can't, get a supervisor to PROVE that Virtua Tennis hasn't come in.

Very nice.  Wife may raise an eyebrow over getting two games right after I had my oil/transmission(do they make this shit out of gold or something, yeesh)  fluid changed in my car.  But it's not like I wanted that. 

That sounds like something that Preparation H would heal.

The solution to that problem is DIY. Then the games are no big deal  :-).

Talked to a friend who is excited about B+W2.  I told him about my undisciplined cow and his diagnosis was that I had bad parenting skills.  "You need to beat the fucking shit out of him more.  Positive reinforcement won't work; you'll have to positively reinforce every good thing he does.  A little negative reinforcement goes a long way."  The real gem: "If you are good, you can sweep his legs out from under him and then punch him on the way down."  Looks like I was totally mis-playing the game.

Makes sense - also try forcing your cow to sacrifice his first born and at the last minute jump out of a bush chortling "j/K n00B!" and serve them both cabrito. Entire cultures will come flocking to you with that little trick.

In related news, The Movies went gold yesterday. That's the one I've really been waiting for. I may give B&W2 a miss until it hits the bargain bin. So far, the reviews I've seen aren't terribly positive.

http://www.eurogamer.net/article.php?article_id=61124
http://www.totalvideogames.com/articles/Black_&_White_2_Review_8601_2558_0_0_10_0.htm

They already have a patch out and applying it destroys your save game. Bad news for the people that have the unbridled optimism and naivete to play the game fresh out of the box thinking that it's actually finished.

Somebody needs to issue a cease and desist to Molyneux.

After reading that review in Eurogamer he scored the game way too high.  Either he was told he couldn't give it the 3 it deserved, or he's alloting too much for the visuals.   That or, the much more horrible choice, it IS a 6/10 when compared to the other shitty games we get these days.  Go bell curve!

Oh fuck yes, I've been waiting for the Movies for months now.

This'll be fun.

Hammy's review, that is, not the game itself. Just a hunch.

Well shit, another game I won't have enough time for. I've been waiting on this one long enough that its pretty much guaranteed to disappoint, but I'll try it anyways.

So Schild, where's the B&W2 review? We all want to hear about the new fangled, hi-res monkey spanking and poo flinging goodness.

I had forgotten all about this. I am officially excited again!


Perhaps we should engineer some sort of contest for the best flick.

I forgot it was an EA game and refused to buy it. There are ways they could have enticed me to purchase it - unfortunately releasing a patch on launch day that breaks more shit and having it in the same shitty shitty thick dvd case that Battlefield 2 came in are not good ways to get me to lay my money down.

Heh.

Um.  Your Friend has Issues.

/chuckle

"If the game lets me it's an interesting use of game mechanics."  I'll never forget that quote from the UO dev.  :-D

If I used "has issues" as a discriminatory factor in choosing friends, I'd be really lonely.  Normal people are boring.

Just don't ever buy him a real pet.  That's all I'm saying.


And now for a friendly game of tethercat.

What do you want from a game advertised by some random dork in tighty-whities?

You had to remind us of one of the dumbest videogame ads to ever air didn't you?

At least the game and the commercial and the liscense should probably cost EA money instead of make them some.
Provided enough word of mouth gets around at how awful the game is anyhow.

Necro! Schild locked my DS topics. Oh, well.

Got a $100 gift card to Best Buy from the future father-in-law, so I picked up some games for the DS. Trauma Center is pretty cool, kinda like an anime General Hospital. My only problem with it so far is TOO MUCH DIALOG!! Also, it goes from "yeah, I totally got the hang of this" to "OMFG these aneurysms keep asploding!" I've tried that episode like five times and have finally had to put it to bed for a bit.

Oh, also, I forgot to mention that I have blinged out my DS with pink and silver rhinestones. It looks AWESOME. Bedazzler ftw!

I also got Castlevania. It starts out pretty fun, but I'm in the Cursed Clocktower or whatever and I'm PISSED. I'm not a retard or anything, but it literally took me an hour of attempts double-jump and devil-float all the way up six levels to the top of the tower just so I could get to the key to the clocktower, and now I'm faced with the four most annoying aspects of every game I've had problems with: 1) more strategic jumping, 2) onto moving targets no less (wtf why do I hafta jump onto pendulums and spinning gears?) that dump you onto 3) spikes if you miss; and 4) the room is RIFE with floating medusa heads that turn you to stone while you're trying to jump and make you fall onto the spikes that kill you because you're frozen and can't jump off.

And again, the store has ass except for healing stuff. It does sell weapons and amor and stuff, but I got the best weapon by soul synthesis fairly early, so I haven't gotten much help from the store. Fortunately, I have the ghoul soul so I can eat rotting meat, poisonous mushrooms and mystery rusty tins without taking damage. I haven't gotten enough souls to upgrade my weapons any further than they are.

There's a room I think in the lost village with 2 waiter skeletons right next to eachother. If you have the mandragora soul you can chuck it in there and kill them both. 1 out of 3 or 4 times they'll drop a plate of curry. That's a full heal.

Mmm...curry. I do have the mandragora soul, so I will try that. Thanks for the tippy-poo. I actually am feeling a little ADD with my DS games because I have like, 5. And Sauced is playing a shitload of games on the PS2 that are fun to watch.

Well, there's not much you can do to avoid the moving platform part, but there are souls which give immunity to being petrified (Tombstone) and which surround you with orbiting death which can probably take out the low-HP Medusas (Buer).

--GF