Title: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Shockeye on July 30, 2005, 03:27:20 PM Quote from: UPI D.C. woman kills boyfriend with a skillet (http://washingtontimes.com/upi/20050730-084030-5345r.htm) Jul. 30, 2005 at 8:56AM A Washington woman has admitted killing her boyfriend by pounding his head with a cast-iron skillet after spraying insecticide onto his face. Dominique Jackson, 32, said she was angry her 44-year-old boyfriend sold her computer to obtain drug money, The Washington Post reported. She pleaded guilty Friday to voluntary manslaughter. Jackson told police she and Adolphus Jackson began fighting early Oct. 17. She said she initially beat him into unconsciousness with her fists. When he revived she attacked him again, pouring black pepper and hot sauce onto him, along with bleach and shaving cream, prosecutors said. She then sprayed the insecticide into his face and placed a hot iron on his lower stomach, the Post reported. It was then, she said, she began striking him on his head with the skillet, After he again became unconscious she cleaned the apartment and left for 10 hours. Prosecutors said when she returned her boyfriend was still alive, so she called 911. He was taken to an area hospital where he died the following day. Dominique Jackson faces up to 17 years in prison when she is sentenced Oct. 14. Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Daydreamer on July 30, 2005, 03:54:46 PM Insecticide sure, hot sauce sure, but shaving cream? Now that is just whack.
Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Llava on July 30, 2005, 03:55:49 PM Jesus Christ.
That dude totally got his ass kicked by a girl. Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: OcellotJenkins on July 30, 2005, 04:03:55 PM Quote from: UPI D.C. woman kills boyfriend with a skillet (http://washingtontimes.com/upi/20050730-084030-5345r.htm) She said she initially beat him into unconsciousness with her fists. What a pussy. Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Signe on July 30, 2005, 04:15:34 PM Quote from: UPI D.C. woman kills boyfriend with a skillet (http://washingtontimes.com/upi/20050730-084030-5345r.htm) She said she initially beat him into unconsciousness with her fists. What a pussy. She's an intarweb girl. Remeber, we're all HUMONGOUS. You wussy intarweb boys are no match for us. All you can do is flail at our ENORMOUS female gamer breasts with your weak little geek fists. HA! Oh, how we laugh at you. Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Nevermore on August 01, 2005, 06:34:12 AM (http://tfp.killbots.com/fanart/lee/137_mom-evil-laugh.png)
Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: tazelbain on August 01, 2005, 06:44:34 AM This reminds of that woman who ran into a guy, and left him impaled in her windshield for serval days.
I commend you chics on your murderous rage, but could you at least finish us off quick. Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Pococurante on August 01, 2005, 09:30:35 AM Insecticide sure, hot sauce sure, but shaving cream? Now that is just whack. Not if you're a Benny Bell fan. Quote I have a sad story to tell you It may hurt your feelings a bit Last night when I walked into my bathroom I stepped in a big pile of ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen I think I'll break off with my girlfriend Her antics are queer, I'll admit Each time I say, "Darling, I love you" She tells me that I'm full of ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen Our baby fell out of the window You'd think that her head would be split But good luck was with her that morning She fell in a barrel of ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen An old lady died in a bathtub She died from a terrible fit In order to fulfill her wishes She was buried in six feet of ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen When I was in France with the army One day I looked into my kit I thought I would find me a sandwich But the darn thing was loaded with ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen And now, folks, my story is ended I think it is time I should quit If any of you feel offended Stick your head in a barrel of ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Signe on August 01, 2005, 09:34:53 AM This reminds of that woman who ran into a guy, and left him impaled in her windshield for serval days. I commend you chics on your murderous rage, but could you at least finish us off quick. Umm... I think that was an episode of Law and Order. Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Pococurante on August 01, 2005, 09:35:36 AM CSI, which stripped-mined the actual crime.
Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Signe on August 01, 2005, 09:38:30 AM I get those two confused sometimes. There sure are a lot of those sorts of shows on TV these days. I was a bit surprised when I moved back to the US and saw how many. It's insane that there are like 3 or 4 flavours of the same shows.
Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Merusk on August 01, 2005, 11:03:06 AM When you feel like crime is running rampant and the system fails on a regular basis, and the whole world is falling to shit, crime shows are always there to tell you everythings a-ok, the badguys DO get caught and the system does work. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that the feeling of prosperity in the US is inversly proportional to how the 'law enforcement' side of big shows is displayed.
At least that's why I think McCoy hasn't lost a damn case in years. The old prosecutor, Stone, (Michael Moriarty) used to lose cases/ get screwed on a regular basis, but that was back in the early 90s, when things were go-go hunky-dory. It was ok if the 'good guys' lost once in a while. Then, if you look at Night Court (yes it's a sit-com, but all I can come up with) back in the REALLY prosperous 80s the prosecutor was a lecherous slimeball, and the Public Defender was a paragon of virtue. Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Strazos on August 01, 2005, 11:07:11 AM If you watch reruns, McCoy loses a case every now and then, or at least has to get extra-creative.
Though, he may not lose much simply because Sam Waterson kicks ass. Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Llava on August 01, 2005, 11:28:58 AM She's an intarweb girl. Remeber, we're all HUMONGOUS. You wussy intarweb boys are no match for us. All you can do is flail at our ENORMOUS female gamer breasts with your weak little geek fists. HA! Oh, how we laugh at you. This picture is small, but will have to do: (http://members.cox.net/futurama/Show/s03ep05.jpg) (Slightly more accurate than "Mom") Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Strazos on August 01, 2005, 11:30:06 AM Me want SnooSnoo.
Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Yegolev on August 01, 2005, 01:46:09 PM She sounds more like a Lineage II player than a Sims player.
Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: HaemishM on August 01, 2005, 02:13:58 PM Bitch PK's 2 CRUSH, because she's hardcore and whatnot.
Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: NowhereMan on August 01, 2005, 04:12:42 PM Quote She said she initially beat him into unconsciousness with her fists. Nerf Mez plzkthx. Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: WayAbvPar on August 01, 2005, 04:34:44 PM Very nice. Now I have Diet Pepsi in my nose.
Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Sky on August 03, 2005, 11:33:14 AM Quote from: Poco Not if you're a Benny Bell fan. I LOVE YOU, MAN.I've been trying to remember those lyrics for a couple weeks now. It's one of the songs I like to serenade my girl with. Umm....don't ask. She occasionally protests at the song choices, but hey...how many women get regular serenades at all?!? She may have had a point... the night we watched a punk band play a show...their pre-show loop was Journey's Greatest Hits...and I sang 'em all to her. "So now I cooooooome to yoooooou....." Anyway, I was a big Dr. Demento fan as a kid, so many classics, the ubiquitous Fish Heads, They're Coming to Take Me Away....there was one kinda spoken word thing about the Wizard of Oz that I should try digging up...classic line: "I'd rather have this bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." Words of wisdom, Lloyd. Words of wisdom. Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Sky on August 03, 2005, 11:40:02 AM Google rules supreme. It's the Existential Blues by Tom "T-Bone" Stankus.
Quote EXISTENTIAL BLUES You really gotta hear the guy's delivery, though.Tom "T-Bone" Stankus The elusive butterfly has just tiptoed past my door My bonny likes the Yankees, she says "hey t-bone what's the score?" I say "well, Reggie got 1 and 1 and 3 and 25 is 6 to 4" Is the left wing really pinko? Colonel Sanders, what a bore. You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose? Is it schizoid paranoia or just existential blues? The amenities of life have been chasing my soul And my mind is transcendental, and I'm losing all control And I'm sinking in the quagmire of illusions and Thoreau I cry out "My name is T-Bone" as a hound dog digs a hole. You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose? Is it plain as heebie-jeebies or just existential blues? Sailing, sailing, what is illusion, what is truth? Sailing, sailing, over the existential blues. God bless America, and Old Glory too. May she always wave o'er us and the red, white and existential blues. Bom-idda-bom (and more blue moon noises here) The existential blues. Hey you can do what you want but lay off my existential blues My blue suede existential blues. I was on a QUEST Walking down the road today, doo-dah, doo-dah I was walking down the road I was looking for the truth of life When I came across all these little people, little people Little people all around me. They looked up at me and said "Hey Mister, are you tall?" And I said "Yes I'm tall, but who are you weird little wonders?" And they looked up at me witht their big bloodshot eyes and said "We are the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids We are the lollipop kids, we'd like to welcome you to munchkin land." I said "Hey, hey, weird little wonders, I am on a quest. Walking on the road today doo-dah, doo-dah" I said "Hey kids I'm looking for the truth of life... Where do I go? Who do I see?" "Slow down mister. In order to find the truth of life, one must see THE WIZARD!" I said "The WIZARD????" Well where does this wizard oh wise one live?" "You see the big green glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill? I said "Yes, I see the big green glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill" With the big dark forest between me and the big green glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill. And a little old lady on a Hoover vacuum cleaner going "I'll get you my little pretty, and your dog Toto too!" I don't even HAVE a little dog Toto... Such predicaments! I must forage ahead! Walking down the road today, doo-dah, doo-dah I must find the truth of life I said "but you know kids, I can handle the big green glow-in-the- dark house up on the hill, I can handle the dark forest, I can handle the little old lady and the very strange road they're sending me down... I've seen yellow stripes in the middle of the road, but kids, never quite that wide!" Alright, tighten your shorts pilgrim, and sing like the Duke: Follow the yellow brick road Follow the yellow brick road Follow follow follow follow follow Follow the yellow brick road And ever a wonderful Wiz there was, the Wizard of Oz is one because because because because because because Because of the wonderful things he does. La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz. Well, I got a little bit tired. Walking down the road today, doooo-dahhhhh, dooooo-daaaaahhhhhh. A little bit tired of walking down this old blinding yellow brick road So I pulled my little tired body off to a little rest area, And lo and behold there's a little field of little red flowers out there [Sniff] Smells so good. Whoa! Getting pretty tired. Smells so good [sniff] Figured I'd just strectch out for a bit in this little field of... poppies poppies poppies poppies poppies poppies .... I was having a really strange dream, man, you know, Little red flowers just smell awfully good I was having a great time The old wizard's just going to have to wait, man. And I'm just going to strecth out again in this field of poppies. OhgodohgodDorothyDorothypoppiesfieldpoppiesfield... Along came this old man in a green El Dorado two Screeched to a halt. A little short man with a big red nose, toting a bottle of Yukon Jack, Strolled up to me and said "hey, son" I said "Old man, don't bother me, poppies poppies poppies poppies" He said "T-Bone" I said "wait a minute, this man knows my name! He must be... THE WIZARD!!!!" You must be the Wizard, the Wizard of Oz, Why have you come to haunt me, O Wizard of Oz? I said "Oh Wizard O Wise one, I've been on a quest Walking down the road today, doo-dah, doo-dah We are the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids Follow the yellow brick road follow the... I got tired, poppies poppies poppies poppies ... Little man, I've been through hell!" He said "hey, slow down, relax!" I said "Oh Wizard, oh wise one, I've come so far to find the truth of life" He said "Hey, son, slow down, relax. To tell you the truth, son..." I said "Wizard, that's what I've come to find is the truth" He said "no, son, you've got me all wrong. To tell you the truth, son, how can I tell you this? Uh, I've been in this field of poppies a long time, myself, and I've come to find, son, that the only truth in life is right here in this bottle." I said "WIZARD!!!?!??!?" He said "No, truly, son, in fact, I'd rather have this bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy!" How profound, Wizard! Some girl with psychic powers, she said "T-bone, what's your sign" I blink and answer "Neon," I thought I'd blow her mind. She's reading Moby Dick, by some fruitcake named Herman. She's chomping of some knockwurst Are the [indeciperable] really German? You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose? Is this really Butte, Montana or just existential blues? Really Butte, Montana... is as plain as heebie-jeebies... Is it schizoid paranoia.... la-la-la-la-la-la-la EXISTENTIAL BLUES! Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Pococurante on August 03, 2005, 12:42:29 PM Figured I'd just strectch out for a bit in this little field of... poppies poppies poppies poppies poppies poppies .... Bwahahahaa! I haven't heard that in years. I still pop that line out when something bizarro happens. Usually in the same context when the UO NPC line "ooh colors" is called for... Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: WayAbvPar on August 03, 2005, 12:51:30 PM Quote Some girl with psychic powers, she said "T-bone, what's your sign" I blink and answer "Neon," I thought I'd blow her mind. I still use this sometimes =) Oldy but a goody, for sure. Title: Re: This is what happens when you can't play the Sims. Post by: Llava on August 06, 2005, 12:21:24 PM Quote The fair Is a ver- -itable smorgasborg orgasborg orgasborg After the lights go down I can quote lyrics too. And mine are better than yours because a rat sang them. |