f13.net

I'm on a mission from my boss to do a Photoshop job of a Nokia cell phone inserted into an anal cavity. Don't ask. It's not important. When I did a Google iimage search for 'Nokia', I hit the link below.

http://bigwhiteguy.com/images/daily/nokia.jpg

And instead of getting the image I wanted, I got one of the best Engrish examples ever. Goddamn I wish I had the talent to write a Pearl or PHP or whatever script that would take any normal English sentence and turn it into Engrish. It's just too friggin' cool. And I'm sure that someone on this board has better Google-Fu than me and has already found such a treasure.

And I'm quite sure there's at least one or two good sig lines in here.



403—Access Forbidden
(Subtitled)

Sorry, that section of the site is inaccessible from the web.

(Are you mistaking? What's wrong about here? You are seeking for trouble.)

Don't be upset. Sometimes this happens on the Internet. It's not bad luck.

(Why are you lossing temper? You said the net is unbreakable, why it's broken? All ill-fated jinxes have come.)

Don't worry, it's easy to get back on track. Perhaps you can find what you wanted here.

(All fanciness are posted outside. I'll throw all the stuffs away, see how you get out.)

Sometimes directories are closed for surfing. It's not your fault.

(I don't mean to play on you this time, really can't help.)

It only takes a second to go back to the home page, friend.

(How come in such period of time? Do it just over there, really trouble maker...)
You are seeking for trouble

© 1998-2005 Randall van der Woning

I feel bad that you have no replies, so I thought I'd let you know that I found it funny.

Go to AltaVista's babel fish, translate a bit of text into japanese, copy the resulting text and translate it back to english.

Instant engrish!

Perhaps you can find what you wanted here

http://www.engrish.com 4tw!

Clicking around that site you'll find that the author is a Canadian writer living in China.  I hope he writes in Engrish... he's very good at it.

Damn if it didn't work! Had to use IE though. Firefox wouldn't go both ways. Babelfish returned an error of 157.

Ah, Engrish. I, too, love the Engrish. I still think the only reason everyone here welcomed me into the fold so quickly is because the first thread I posted was linked to a Malaysian MMOG (Mystic Journey). The fansite was laden with beautiful Engrish. And hilarious photos. Sigh.

*mehhhhhhmories*

Well, his Engrish is vastly superior to my Japanese (and any other language for that matter).  :-o

Over here (Korea) its Konglish.  I have conversations with sentences  like that EVERY DAY with the Korean English teachers.  I just wish my students could write as well the OP's examples.

Its not completely the fault of poor teaching (although non-fluent teachers play a big role).  Many Asian countries will hire ANY native English speaker with a college degree.  So you've got Americans, Canadians, Brits, Irish, Scots, Aussies, Kiwis, South Africans, and a number of other nationalities all teaching their own version of English, many of them with no educational training whatsoever.  And when it can take me a minute or two to understand a friend's thick Kiwi accent and then break down the strange turns of phrase, I don't expect the students to make perfect Americanized sentences.  Just ain't gonna happen.  <--- OMG bad grammar.  ("I'm completely knackered.  I was looking for some togs in Itaewon all day and I ran into this girl I scored two weeks ago when on the piss.  Right bloody awkward it was.  Did manage to scratch her digits on my mobile." ...what?)   

The scary part is how you get used to it.  For some reason, they love to say 'See you again' instead of 'See you later' here.  After nine+ months over here, half the time I don't even notice when someone says 'See you again'.  Thats one of countless examples. 

I'm sure the locals find my Korean just as amusing.  For some reason, the Konglish from the Korean women here doesn't bother me though  :wink:

I'm knackered, too, but not in a pervy way like you. 

You dirty boy.